It's been a while, guys.

I haven't shared my most memorable embarrassing moments in quite some time (part 1 here). Now keep in mind, I am not really one to get embarrassed easily, so it took me a long time to conjure these back up from the repressed sectors of my mind. Since I put my foot in my mouth so often, humiliation is a distant memory. That being said, I'm pleased to bring you some of those rare memories today. For the sake of your entertainment and good humored fun, here are my embarrassing moments. Enjoy!

The Panicked-Mother-Call

My freshmen year of college, I was dating this guy.

We weren't together more than three months, I think, but in that time span I had told my mom, sisters, and one of my brothers (who thoroughly did not approve hahahaha) about him....

Anyways, it was spring break and I had to stay at school the entire week because my classes at the art institute were not on the same spring break, and we weren't allowed to miss any classes there. My mother was not a big fan of me being all alone, on a nearly empty campus, in a strange city for a week. She was constantly checking in and worrying about me. CONSTANTLY.

One evening after class and work, I dropped by this boyfriend's parent's house (where he was living) to say hi. He and I had gone outside for a while, and I had left my phone in my purse on silent in the foyer. I was only there for thirty minutes or so. No big deal. When I got to my car and looked at my phone, I had two or three missed calls from my mother. I called her back right away, and she proclaimed,

"Gosh, honey, I was so worried about you! I called his house and talked to his mom. You need to keep your phone on you!"

Of course, she was joking... right?

"She seemed like a really nice lady,"

She wasn't joking. She had actually Googled their names and found a phone number.
I. Was. Mortified.

"Mother, I can NOT even TALK to you right now!!!"

I promptly hung up and called my sisters. They, of course, empathized deeply.

The next day he visited me at work and brought up how weird it was (agreed, buddy, agreed).
As a bonus embarrassment, I should add that on this little work visit, I had a child on my lap (I worked in a daycare). While we were quietly talking over the previous night's event, the little one on my lap was facing me and asking what "these were"... while poking me in the chest. I awkwardly tried to steer her attention elsewhere - to no avail - and she thought it was even more hilarious to keep poking and ask louder what "these were" as my boyfriend of like two nano-seconds looked on in horror. In the child's defense I'm pretty sure I was wearing a white shirt with a bright undergarment, so... just one of many outfit faux pas in college (hint: read on).

Needless to say, things didn't work out with that guy. Although, on the bright side, I did spend that terrible, lonely, spring break week carpooling to my class with my tall, debonaire, handsome, lithe, thoughtful, kind, chiseled-chin, huba-huba of a future husband, so all’s well that ends well.

Wedding Trippin'

This isn't too big of a deal, but I did trip going up to the front of the church after my dad passed me off. Thankfully he passed his clutzy daughter off to a guy that can handle her missteps, and Tom kept me from full-out face planting, but it was enough to elicit a gasp from the guests. It may have had something to do with my shoes being too big. The toes were stuffed with Kleenex! But they were super pretty, so #YOLO

Awkward Outfit

College. A time for testing all the boundaries.

I was fearless, you guys. And I had no shame whatsoever. And also the cutest little figure known to man, so I happened to be able to pull a lot of weird things off.

This was not one of those times.

One night, there was a basketball game going on. All my friends were going, but I needed to finish studying one last thing and do my laundry, so I said I'd try to get there for the second half. Our basketball teams were legitimately good, so the games were usually pretty well attended for a smaller university. Well, since I had no normal looking clean clothes, I showed up in knee-high socks with some weird pattern on them, neon green pajama short-shorts, a tank top, slide-on furry slippers (admittedly, I totally still rock these), and my hair in pigtails. I think I thought my tall socks paired with my short-shorts added up to full pants, but of course, that's not even remotely logical.

I walked across the gym like this and every single person in the stands had their mouths gaping open at the sight I was to behold. Cheerfully, I climbed up to my friends (guys and girls alike) as they all quietly huddled around me, inquiring about my thought process, while offering me clothing because I looked like a cold, immodest, clown. Hahaha I can still hear them..

"Joy. What the heck are you wearing?! Those are barely shorts?! Why didn't you just wear a sweatshirt?! Here, take my hoodie."

And my perfectly acceptable response... 

"Sorry guys, it's laundry day."

It was one of my shining moments.

I hope that's enough to fill your cup for now, friends, and I hope this post started your week off right. Maybe things at home or work have felt a little overwhelming or you're crumbling under the stress of something. Hopefully this lightened your day and helped you feel like less of a disaster in comparison :)