Loving Your Spouse Amidst A Busy Season
We've all been there.
When the days and weeks are busy and only get busier. Maybe there are kids in tow or maybe your work hours go late and your projects build up. Maybe you're in a constant state of driving from one thing to the next and hardly have a moment to yourself, and when you finally do, giving that time to your spouse can feel like just another thing. Another cumbersome addition to an already hectic schedule.
But showing love to your spouse shouldn't have a resting place on the backburner. Marriage takes work and consistent affection... and I don't mean affection in the grandiose gestures of the word. You don't need to make a candlelight dinner three times a week and give each other gifts several times a month. It's in the little things, little moments, and little actions that can show your spouse you're thinking about them and their needs more often than they know.
In a recent conversation with my husband on this topic he said,
"I like getting loved by small gestures. Not to say big ones aren't great, but small ones are almost more considerate. It's almost like saying "I love you so much I'm willing to try to make even the smallest thing better for you." Like, even THAT much. But not many people are willing to inconvenience themselves to make someone else's life barely more convenient and you have to really know someone in order to know just exactly how to make their day a little better."
I love how he explained this phenomenon so simply. From his last statement, we discussed how amazing it is to have the privilege of being the one who really knows how to love someone in the little ways. So from our home to yours.....
Here are a few ways you can love your spouse amidst a busy season:
1. Take one of their errands for them
It doesn't have to be anything major. But if you've heard them mention all the places they need to go and for what items, maybe you could swing by one of those places on your way home from work and save them a trip or two.
2. Get their day started right
Are they always the ones making coffee and getting lunches prepared? Beat them to the task.
3. Give the living areas a once over
Pick up and fold blankets, put away toys, and sweep up the kitchen... all without them knowing until morning comes around and they notice the sweet gesture. Apparently Tom randomly sweeps the kitchen without me ever knowing, just so it's one house task I don't even have to think about or notice needs attention. Ummm heart eyes for days!! (He just admitted this to me as we talked about this topic).
4. Choose a show or movie they love, even if you don't
Of course it's nice to watch shows together that you both enjoy, but sometimes it's just nice to watch one of your personal favorites at the urging of your spouse... with your spouse.
5. Tidy up what's "theirs"
Again, such a little thing, but picking up their shoes, cleaning up their bedside table that's gathered receipts galore, and staying on top of the laundry for their sake instead of just yours shows a lot of love, care, and respect.
6. Hide things around the house you know they'll find
Like little fun-sized candies, a love note (or in our case, a note with something sassy written on it), some cash for a drink at Starbucks, upcoming tickets to a movie or show, etc...
Hide them in places they'll definitely look. Like in a makeup drawer, next to their deodorant, inside their laptop/briefcase, on their car seat, etc... Tom did this one morning during our renovation, and it had me giggling so hard every time I opened up a cabinet or looked inside a box of drawers and found a mini Kit-Kat!
7. Keep your mouth shut
Sometimes it's easy to play the nag... and both the person nagging, and the one being nagged get sick of hearing it. It can be so loving to just clean up a mess they made without saying anything about it. Even when that little mess drives you up a WALL because you see it happen daily. By keeping quiet, you're giving them some room to breathe and make mistakes. It inconvenienced you, but sometimes you inconvenience him/her too. We're all human!
8. Give them some quality "veg time."
I imagine this would be an especially loving gesture with kids in the mix. Let them hang out alone and play video games, peruse Pinterest, or watch their favorite show uninterrupted.
9. Make their favorite
Cooking up their favorite meal, even if it's one that takes you forever, is an easy way to put their needs above yours and show them you care.
10. Send them a photo
Did you come across something in your day that made you laugh or think of them? Snap a photo and let them know! It's one of the fun parts of living in a tech-y world.
11. Tell them to go do something they enjoy
Maybe that means shopping, getting their hair or nails done, going to a cigar bar, buying that new tool... or what about trying that brewery or restaurant they really want to check out, but you don't? Give them the "okay" on some splurges they don't often give themselves.
12. Compliment them
Sometimes it's so easy to go through a day with the person you live with and forget to acknowledge all the little things they do. Or forget to tell them how smokin' hot they are. Or how much they amaze you with their talents and smarts. If anyone in your life on earth deserves your praise, it's the person you walk through life with each day. And they really ought to hear it... maybe they know, but something about hearing those things out loud can really hit your soft spot.
13. Hug it out
Again, so sooooo simple. But giving them a squeeze and a smooch before parting ways in the morning, and upon coming home, and everything in between... is good for the heart and soul.
14. Pray for them
This one tops the list. What better way to love your spouse than to thank the Creator for them every day!!