Day in the Life

To follow-up my reintroduction to blogging, I thought it would be fun to do a Day in the Life post! I’ve never done one, and it’s been requested a few times, so here we go…!

6:00am

Little bubba wakes up and comes to our bed for a quick nurse and snuggle.

A little off from the usual routine, I jump in the shower right away and get myself ready.

7:00am

The whole family hops in the car for a coffee date near Tom’s office. My car is in the shop indefinitely, so why not have a little fun with just one vehicle for the next few days? It’s a beautiful morning and always fun to see the city before it’s bustling. We go to CREMA, which I’ve not been to yet, and share a muffin and have a relaxing chat over coffee and let Silas hold our fingers as he toddles around (SO close to walking!)

8:00am

We say goodbye to Dada, and Silas and I head back home where he eats a little more breakfast, Hondo gets the rest of his breakfast and we play for a little bit and have a little snuggle-time before nap.

9:00am

Silas goes down for a nap. I go to the basement to talk to my sister on the phone and start this blog post. Hondo follows me, as usual, because the basement is his favorite place.

10:00am

Silas is STILL sleeping! His naps have been short and difficult lately because of his new tooth, but maybe we’ve finally made it over the hump for now.

10:15am

Annnnd he’s up! Honestly for him, an hour and fifteen is a good nap. He woke up in a great mood and we’ll spend the next hour or so playing and maybe prepping some lunch. I realize I haven’t eaten anything besides a few very small pieces of a muffin, so I whip up two eggs with some green onions and scarf them down before I pass out - haha!

11:30am

We have a little lunch because Silas is getting grumpy and clingy. I make him a quesadilla and peaches while I heat up some Trader Joe’s frozen dinner thing. Mine is yuck so I throw it away, but I’m crazy hungry, so I eat some Doritos and graham crackers to get something in my system.

12:30pm

We play a little more and let Hondo outside. The outdoor area got wet from the rain last night, so it’s no good for us to play on until later. So instead, we make a run to Target for a hair dryer since a part of mine broke yesterday.

12:45pm

We get to Target and I realize Silas is poopy. Rarely does this happen, but I get him to the bathroom and take care of that before I shop. We’ve been working on saying “hi” and waving, but Silas is pretty shy (and sweet) with others, so he hasn’t actually been successful. Today, though, he kept randomly practicing his wave throughout the aisles, and promptly blushing and trying to hug me once I took notice. He is the sweetest little bug!

1:30pm

Back at home, a neighbor is getting a dead tree removed and shredded. We can’t miss the chance to watch that, so we sit in the yard for a while and Silas is mesmerized. Back inside, we clean up the toys we got out.

2:00pm

Nap time! Even with the noise of the tree shredding machinery, he goes down easy with a short nursing session. I sit down to rest because (full disclosure) my cramps are super bad and I’m tired and want a peanut butter cookie… or ten. I open up Amazon and add a few necessities to my cart, and by 2:40, he’s still sleeping, so I chance a little nap for myself.

3:05pm

He took a good nap! And so did I :) Honestly can’t remember the last time I napped in the day, but it feels good. We play with Hondo, spend a long while on the deck, have a snack, and watch a little bit of Peppa Pig when Silas starts getting clingy and needy for no reason.

4:20pm

We head to the train station and wait for Dada. While we wait, I get Silas out of his seat to sit on my lap so he can see a train up close. The train comes, Dada comes our way, and off it goes with a loud CHOO! Big smiles from Si!

4:45pm

At home, Silas and Tom play while I make dinner. Tonight it happened to be a recipe I’ve shared on the blog - a favorite in this house… veggie flatbread pizza!

6:00pm

Bath time! While I do bath, Tom cleans up dinner and makes something for dessert whiiiiich we will eat after bedtime.

6:30pm

Lotion, snuggles, jammies, books and trimming finger nails. Every night, when I pick him up after putting on lotion, he wraps his arms tight around my neck for the sweetest snuggle while he hums quietly. It’s the cutest thing.

7:00pm

Silas goes to bed, we finish cleaning up the kitchen, feed Hondo, and sit down to put on a show in the background while we talk and work and hang out. And eat chocolate peanut butter “pie.”

10:30pm

Bedtime for mom, dad, and Hondo.

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*Things I did NOT get done: 2 loads of laundry, a few dishes, some floors vacuumed, some items put away, enough snuggles for my Hondo

There you have it, friends! Nothing very exciting or extraordinary. Just an ordinary day with my little family. Being a mom. Picking up the little person who clings on my legs while I work in the kitchen because he just wants a hug. Teaching him how to say hi and give kisses and nod his head “yes.” I wouldn’t want my days to look any different than how they are now. And at 4:35pm, when Dada walks in the door, after someone has been hugging me all day, I get to hug him, and it feels so good. Well, and Hondo. But Hondo mostly spends the day laying down and getting up a thousand times. Thanks for coming along!

Did you like this post? Would you want see something similar to this in the future? Gauging things now that I’m back… blogging feels so foreign!

Where I've Been

Since Silas was born, I’ve posted ten times. Just ten.

Since 2019 began? Once.

In years past, I was posting anywhere from fifty to seventy-one over the course of the year. (not bad!)

You know what’s funny though? I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel like I’ve let people down. I don’t feel like someone else’s world has come to screeching halt because I’ve set blogging aside.

Do I think some of my loyal followers miss me? Sure! But if I know them like I think I do, I know they understand. They know how much Tom and I have waited for this stage of life to happen, and now that we’ve been living it for the past while, we’re just loving soaking in every moment.

So no, I don’t feel guilty. Life behind the scenes has been pretty routine, and not always very exciting (wake, eat, play, nap, wake, eat, play, nap, wake, play, eat, bath, bed - - - repeat tomorrow), but it’s been such a complete joy to watch our sweet boy grow. He has been our bad napper since forever, he’s obsessed with his mama, and when he’s awake is super sweet, easy going, and engaging. He’s constantly cracking us up, and just popped his third tooth! I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for taking this time to “just” be a stay at home mom. It’s what I’ve always wanted.
And nah, I don’t feel like I’ve let people down. That insinuates that someone was counting on you. Maybe some have missed me (I’ve missed you all too! But I hope you’ve been hanging with me on the ‘Gram), but overall, I’ve not dropped out on any brands I could have been working with or left you all completely hanging (again, Instagram!).
Surely, NO ONE’S world came to a screeching halt without me. If it did, gosh I’m just so sorry, and I hope this post gives you some relief ;) haha… but basically what I’m saying is, I’ve been gone. I’ve been happy. Happier than I’ve probably EVER been. But more and more, as I squeeze-in needed moments away from my son, I find myself drawn back to my little blogging “home” on the internets. To the familiar editing page, and the sound and feel of a keyboard under my fingers. It feels good, friends. I think I’m ready.

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So in the old-school style of journal-blogging, let me tell you where I’ve been.

I have been…

changing diapers
rocking and bouncing
doing mountains of laundry
snuggling our bear-dog
getting trapped under a sleeping baby
nursing for a million hours (and still going, if you’re curious)
roadtripping to Asheville for a wedding
hosting at least seven different times
going to the zoo
roadtripping to Indiana
roadtripping to Iowa and Illinois
flying to Wisconsin
making 8 million trips to Target
falling more in love with my Thomas
loving life in Nashville
going on lunch dates
eating more veggies
enjoying nightly cookies
watching our baby learn to roll, crawl, walk, talk, pull-up, find his feet, find his tongue, wave hi and bye…
binging lots of The Office and Parks and Rec
navigating those sleepless nights with an infant
having full nights of beauty rest after 9.5 months
appreciating coffee
loving and speaking kindly to my body
giving baths
applying lotion and sunscreen and butt paste
taking temperatures and giving medicines
soothing a grumpy child
saying “no no, Silas” over and over
kissing bumped heads
telling Hondo “leave it” as he smothers his brother with licks
getting my first tan since moving south!
doing Weight Watchers
dancing in the kitchen and smooching my whole family
picking up toys
cleaning up the highchair
stealing away moments alone
missing my baby while he sleeps

LIVING LIFE

So here I am again. Ready to bring Joy Lynn Lifestyle back to life. I’m not entirely sure where to go from here, and I need to dust off my Canon and take a few practice shoots, but I think for a while I might just journal here like the old days of blogging.

I’ll fill you in on what’s been keeping us busy (or not busy!), what things we’ve been loving, a house tour, a day in the life, struggles, joys, baking adventures… whatever I can think of. It feels like time to write and to hang out in this space again. I’ve spent mannnnny hours on Instagram over the last year, and while there are many uplifting and encouraging facets to that platform, there’s also a TON of BUY BUY BUY, GO GO GO, DO DO DO… and well, I’m not one that needs or thrives on constantly pushing myself towards things that, in the end, are just shallow. I like to simply live. Just be. Just love and appreciate all that I already have, not what I think might ‘be better.’ Do you feel that way? Am I just some crazy lady over here that sees people always going and am extremely content just to take in what’s right here?

Anyway. All that to say… hey guys. I missed ya. Thanks for coming back right now, and for understanding the happy reasons for my hiatus. It’s really been a swell first year of my baby’s life :) But mama needs some time to herself and to come back ‘home’ online.

And I hope you’ve all been doing well over the last year, too! Have I missed anything? Tell me all about it! What are some highlights I may have missed in YOUR lives?!

2018 Reflections

And just like that, 2018 has come to a close.

Oh friends, what a year this has been. For me, it has been one of the best years of my life, and yet I know that for others, it may have been the most painful. Before I go on, I want to acknowledge that. If there is anything that infertility has taught me, it’s that perspective+empathy is a winning combination for tact and compassion. I know I’m not perfectly tactful all the time, and not perfectly compassionate, but I hope that I’ve become better at it. I have been on the side of doling out grace (as we all have!) when people do and say tactless things. Thoughtless things. When they unknowingly (or knowingly) broach a subject that will illicit hurt. I try to remember the perspective I’ve gained, and try to be gentler with my words. I write a little less adamantly these days, because I think fewer opinions are black and white.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have an awful lot of opinions… haha!

But I guess the path of two years of infertility, followed by the birth of our precious baby boy, has taught me to be a little kinder, a little more guarded, and yet be willing to open up when the moment and people are right.

Receiving messages from readers and followers who have been touched by infertility, or motherhood topics, or are traveling to Iceland, or love Bernese Mountain Dogs, continues to be my favorite part of having this little space online. I love connecting with people and I hope my words offer hope or guidance or even just a good story. As I looked over a couple messages I received over the last month, I read one to Tom and said, “You know, sometimes I just want to close up shop, and let blogging end here while I stay at home with Silas. But it’s these messages that make it worth it. I know I have people who read and never reach out, and that’s okay… but it sure would encourage me to keep going if this happened more regularly!” and we laughed and that’s when I decided to dust off my editing page again.

I really hope those of you out there, who still bother to come by this little space, enjoy the far and in-between writings of this Tennessee momma. In the new year, I plan on making Joy Lynn a place I come back to regularly again. Though I must admit, the last seven and a half months with my boy have been absolutely blissful. Tiring. But blissful. All that to say - please reach out if the mood strikes. I promise I don’t bite! Message me on Instagram, Facebook, or email me here.

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Now, on to reflections of this year:

As you can guess, it was one that was overwhelmingly baby-focused. As I was rocking my not-so-little 19lb baby to sleep, tonight, I hugged him tightly, and realized how quickly it all goes. I realized this is the last night I would lay down my baby in the year he was born. In the year I became a momma. (Can you tell I’ve become a giant sap since becoming a mother?! haha). Though, I’m so looking forward to 2019 and enjoying the spring and summer with a toddler instead of a newborn.

This year, I’ve learned that…

• no good comes of comparing your parenting choices with someone else’s.

• all babies are different.

• with a new baby, comes a new level of communication with your spouse.

• you have got to have a sense of humor for every stage and season of life or you’ll go crazy and be miserable.

• overly serious people are not our kind of people .

• Hondo’s Instagram is so extra… it’s our favorite thing.

• you really do know your baby and the less you doubt that, the happier you’ll all be.

• breastfeeding is incredible, but also REALLY time consuming. Pretty sure it’s been my full-time job the last 7+ months.

• hobbies matter! My baking and photography are getting picked up more often and I’m so glad for it.

• marriage after a baby is pretty awesome.

• making time for yourself as not just a mom, but an individual, is important, but sometimes hard to come by. You gotta be creative!

• finding a baby carrier you love makes a huuuuuge difference.

• traveling with a baby is not pleasant.

• even though so much has changed, Tom and I still bring on the sass and it cracks us up on the daily.

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There’s not much more I can really say to reflect on this year, besides reiterating how extraordinarily blessed we feel. Tom and I literally fight over whose turn it is to hold Silas on the regular and that alone probably sums up our feels as new parents. We’re a couple of saps, and we have no shame about it. We are completely smitten.

We are so grateful for God’s grace and forgiveness and promise of salvation, we are grateful for our Silas boy (and Hondo!), and we are grateful for one another. If we walked into 2019 with nothing else, we would be as richly blessed.

Happy New Year, my friends.

And thank YOU all for continuing to drop in even while I’ve been taking this time. I love interacting with you on Instagram, and if you have any topics in the meantime that you’d like me to take on in 2019 PLEASE DON’T BE SHY! Would you like me to review anything? Bake anything? Compare any products? Write about Nashville? See more house posts or photos? Minimalism? Marriage topics? Hondo guest posts? (haha kidding) Monthly updates? Favorite products lately? Come on - lemme hear it! It’ll help me get the ball rolling! :)

As always, much love,

Joy

How Do You Practice Self Care?

Or better yet, do you practice self-care at all?

Since I started working from home, I've been especially reluctant to "treat myself" or even make time for myself. At first, I wasn't bringing in an income that made me feel like I'd earned it, and I had developed the thinking that one day my time would come and I could "treat myself" then.

As I look back on my time since college graduation, I've noticed a trend in not only sticking so strictly to a budget that I leave no room for myself, but a sense that caring for myself in semi-frivolous ways was just that - frivolous. I had never thought about the emotional and mental implications that putting those "frivolous" needs on the back burner would do.
Just recently, something clicked in me that made me realize how truly important self-care is for all areas of my life. I looked down at my hole-y sweater and 8 year old leggings and thought, "You know what? I think a new pair of leggings - or maybe even a pair of jeans! - would do my raggedy wardrobe some good." Up until that moment, I had been feeling like "hey, I never need to shop because I work from home! I don't have employers to look good for and we can save our moolah for the things we really care about!" But you know what? I care about how I look sometimes, and feeling confident in an up-to-date outfit does wonders for my overall self-esteem. I also started to hem and haw over getting my hair done, when my husband suddenly said, "Joy, I spend more on my haircuts annually than you do. Go get your hair done!" It was kind of a shocking revelation, but it was true! It had been a year since I had my haircut, and even then it seemed like a pampering treatment more than a genuine self-care regimen. I mean, I'm a frugal gal, but when did this extreme begin?!

Whether you're a mom whose priorities lie in the hearts of little people, a new wife who puts her husband first, a poor college student who is focused on reaching that graduation goal and first job, a career minded woman with little time for luxuries, or an entrepreneur barely getting by - self care is for you. All of you. All of us. 

What comes to mind when you hear "self care?"

Getting your hair done professionally? Your nails done? A new wardrobe? A day at the spa? Who says self-care has to look a certain way?

Maybe it's an hour alone at the coffee shop. Heck, maybe even an hour alone in your own bathroom to take a longer shower and fix your hair and makeup (for once).
Maybe it's a cup of coffee with the full fat creamer because it tastes extra yummy.
Maybe it's an expensive shampoo/conditioner to splurge on instead of the Suave.
Maybe it's a couple new outfits to help you feel more confident and up with the times.
Maybe it's a fresh set of bed linens and comforter to snuggle into at night.
Maybe it's a few workout videos, gym membership, or new workout gear to care for your body.
Maybe it's a haircut at the fancy salon instead of the Great Clips.
Maybe it's a maid service just this once, so the cleaning isn't on you.
Maybe it's the meal subscription to save you time and help you eat healthier.
Maybe it's a splurge on the shoes, the bag, or the accessory you've been eying but can't seem to justify.
Maybe it's the dinner out with friends you never make the time for.
Maybe it's the time alone to journal or read or have a glass (or bottle) of wine and just be... uninterrupted.
Maybe it's the secret snack you don't want to share with anyone else.
Maybe it's the new underwear because let's be real. You've let those last wayyy too long.

Maybe it's just giving time to yourself.

Self-care, at its core, isn't about selfishness or a something deserved - it's simply caring for yourself. Whatever that looks like! Take care of your body, mind, and spirit. What helps one woman, may not help another, and that's okay. Some women find immense joy and rejuvenation in luxurious goods or services, while others can find an equal amount in quiet-time and a yummy drink at home.

As I've reflected on the last several years and what experiences offer me self-care, I have begun to recognize that even though 'things' don't typically offer my minimalist heart much renewal, those little bits of upkeep do. The haircuts, the little clothing updates, and the glasses of wine. They offer me a re-fresh, a little bounce in my step, motivation, and inspiration.

Do you practice self care? Ask yourself how you think you could benefit from it, and how you can prioritize it!

Embarrassing Moments | 2

It's been a while, guys.

I haven't shared my most memorable embarrassing moments in quite some time (part 1 here). Now keep in mind, I am not really one to get embarrassed easily, so it took me a long time to conjure these back up from the repressed sectors of my mind. Since I put my foot in my mouth so often, humiliation is a distant memory. That being said, I'm pleased to bring you some of those rare memories today. For the sake of your entertainment and good humored fun, here are my embarrassing moments. Enjoy!

The Panicked-Mother-Call

My freshmen year of college, I was dating this guy.

We weren't together more than three months, I think, but in that time span I had told my mom, sisters, and one of my brothers (who thoroughly did not approve hahahaha) about him....

Anyways, it was spring break and I had to stay at school the entire week because my classes at the art institute were not on the same spring break, and we weren't allowed to miss any classes there. My mother was not a big fan of me being all alone, on a nearly empty campus, in a strange city for a week. She was constantly checking in and worrying about me. CONSTANTLY.

One evening after class and work, I dropped by this boyfriend's parent's house (where he was living) to say hi. He and I had gone outside for a while, and I had left my phone in my purse on silent in the foyer. I was only there for thirty minutes or so. No big deal. When I got to my car and looked at my phone, I had two or three missed calls from my mother. I called her back right away, and she proclaimed,

"Gosh, honey, I was so worried about you! I called his house and talked to his mom. You need to keep your phone on you!"

Of course, she was joking... right?

"She seemed like a really nice lady,"

She wasn't joking. She had actually Googled their names and found a phone number.
I. Was. Mortified.

"Mother, I can NOT even TALK to you right now!!!"

I promptly hung up and called my sisters. They, of course, empathized deeply.

The next day he visited me at work and brought up how weird it was (agreed, buddy, agreed).
As a bonus embarrassment, I should add that on this little work visit, I had a child on my lap (I worked in a daycare). While we were quietly talking over the previous night's event, the little one on my lap was facing me and asking what "these were"... while poking me in the chest. I awkwardly tried to steer her attention elsewhere - to no avail - and she thought it was even more hilarious to keep poking and ask louder what "these were" as my boyfriend of like two nano-seconds looked on in horror. In the child's defense I'm pretty sure I was wearing a white shirt with a bright undergarment, so... just one of many outfit faux pas in college (hint: read on).

Needless to say, things didn't work out with that guy. Although, on the bright side, I did spend that terrible, lonely, spring break week carpooling to my class with my tall, debonaire, handsome, lithe, thoughtful, kind, chiseled-chin, huba-huba of a future husband, so all’s well that ends well.

Wedding Trippin'

This isn't too big of a deal, but I did trip going up to the front of the church after my dad passed me off. Thankfully he passed his clutzy daughter off to a guy that can handle her missteps, and Tom kept me from full-out face planting, but it was enough to elicit a gasp from the guests. It may have had something to do with my shoes being too big. The toes were stuffed with Kleenex! But they were super pretty, so #YOLO

Awkward Outfit

College. A time for testing all the boundaries.

I was fearless, you guys. And I had no shame whatsoever. And also the cutest little figure known to man, so I happened to be able to pull a lot of weird things off.

This was not one of those times.

One night, there was a basketball game going on. All my friends were going, but I needed to finish studying one last thing and do my laundry, so I said I'd try to get there for the second half. Our basketball teams were legitimately good, so the games were usually pretty well attended for a smaller university. Well, since I had no normal looking clean clothes, I showed up in knee-high socks with some weird pattern on them, neon green pajama short-shorts, a tank top, slide-on furry slippers (admittedly, I totally still rock these), and my hair in pigtails. I think I thought my tall socks paired with my short-shorts added up to full pants, but of course, that's not even remotely logical.

I walked across the gym like this and every single person in the stands had their mouths gaping open at the sight I was to behold. Cheerfully, I climbed up to my friends (guys and girls alike) as they all quietly huddled around me, inquiring about my thought process, while offering me clothing because I looked like a cold, immodest, clown. Hahaha I can still hear them..

"Joy. What the heck are you wearing?! Those are barely shorts?! Why didn't you just wear a sweatshirt?! Here, take my hoodie."

And my perfectly acceptable response... 

"Sorry guys, it's laundry day."

It was one of my shining moments.

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I hope that's enough to fill your cup for now, friends, and I hope this post started your week off right. Maybe things at home or work have felt a little overwhelming or you're crumbling under the stress of something. Hopefully this lightened your day and helped you feel like less of a disaster in comparison :)

Nothing to Compare

What is there to compare in this life, really? Bodies? Budgets? Belongings? Business? I'm rolling with the B's.

But really. 

Think of all the genetic mixtures of each and every person on this earth. Think of the differing skill sets and minds. Think of the values that differ from one person to the next. Think of the freckles, scars, shapes, and hearts of the bodies that carry each marvelous soul. Think of the unique, God-given capabilities of the people around you.

Now what is there to compare?

Answer: There is nothing to compare. 

Isn't that the beauty in this life? That even in all the similarities and commonalities that we find with those around us, we still have nothing by which to hold one another up to and say "Ugh, I wish I had your _____."

Comparing brings with it conceit, envy, or covetousness. It's ugly and sinful and rears its head with insecurities and self righteousness. And for what? So that every now and then you can find comfort in the fact that you don't have to live the rotten life of your neighbor? Or so that you can look at your life in all its messes and flaws and wish you had the body, skills, and budget of your other neighbor?

Friends, leave room for inspiration instead of envy. For humility and generosity instead of conceit. For confidence and content instead of covetousness. The second nature we have to make split-second comparisons can be broken. It's a lifelong habit many of us have unknowingly contracted. But like so many habits or addictions, we can break it. Not without failures and slip-ups, of course, but by diminishing our susceptibility to its constant stream and crippling effects, we can find freedom.

We can celebrate the joys and triumphs of others, gain satisfaction and gratefulness for the life God has given us, and turn our comparisons into a platform of thankfulness and praise for our lives and the lives of others.

The path God sets before each of us differs immensely from one to the next and leaves no room for comparison. He says it best in a couple of verses:

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. 
2 Corinthians 10:12

 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 
Romans 12:2

Not only do the materialist things of this earth not matter, but by comparing one another based on the things of this earth, we're making ourselves out to be complete fools.

From those verses, I get a vision in my head of a situation I've witnessed many times over. Working in daycares, I would watch two or three children playing peaceably together, until suddenly, one particular toy became the apple of all their eyes. It didn't matter if there was a toy that was exactly the same nearby... it was the color of that particular one that had them all clambering, yanking, and screaming to have it. As their teacher, I tried to remind them of sharing, and did my best to help them see that the only thing they were fighting about was a color. But it made no difference, because in comparison, nothing matched the draw of that green one.

Eventually, the toy would be taken away all together while they all three whined and cried, and I'd roll my eyes at how ridiculous and silly they were acting. I'm sure you read that and know full well, too, how pithy it looked.

But what do you think we're doing when we see someone's dreamy vacation on Facebook and wish we could have the same? Or when we see someone's make-up or svelte body and begrudgingly look at our imperfections? We may not have the exact same things, like the toy above, but when you take a good look at your life, I bet you can find more blessings than not.

Here's to losing the comparison game and reveling in the freedom of finding joy and inspiration instead of envy and self-pity. Here's to knowing full-well, that God's blessings are plentiful and comparing those blessings only lessens their worth.

And finally, here are some lyrics to an old favorite that suits my meaning perfectly:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

 

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

(Count Your Blessings by Bing Crosby)

25 Is The New 12

I am not easily offended. At all. I grew up in a family where teasing showed love, and jokes went much further than they ever should have. Inevitably, feelings would get hurt because a joke crossed the line... but over the years, that line has drifted further and further away to the point where I no longer get offended by anything. I have mastered the art of brushing things off and taking it with a grain of salt that people sometimes say the wrong thing... no big deal.

However, in the last year, Tom and I have been asked a particular question on more than one occasion that I find incredibly poor taste. In fact, it's offensive.

"So... what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Okay, on the surface, it seems like a harmless question.
But... how are we supposed to answer that?
"Well, mister, I guess once I learn how to pee-pee on the potty, I'll try to figure that out next!"
"Gee, that's a tough one, because I just learned to color INSIDE the lines!"

I know, I'm being facetious. Really though... why would you ask a 25 year-old, married ADULT that question??

I just cannot wrap my head around it. Is it because the people asking it are older than us, so anyone younger than them is clearly juvenile? Do you want to know my "dream job?" I guess I can't figure out why I get asked the same question that Kindergarten teachers have their students draw a picture of, and hang up on a bulletin board. Frankly, I wouldn't even ask that question of a college student because they are studying a specific field for their careers... they know what they want to "be when they grow up" because they are working on it.

Each time this question has come up, it's left both of us taken-aback. As if we have to somehow explain or prove that we are, in fact, adults. Or like we are still trying to navigate the big scary world and everything is unknown. Just picture for a moment how you would answer that if someone you hardly know asked it. Every time, Tom or I have simply stuttered out "Ummm.. what I'm doing currently...?"  It's really awkward. 

Let me lay this out for you...

We are 25.
We both have Bachelor Degrees.
We have been working in our specified careers for 3+ years.
We are married.
We just bought a house.
We have two cars.
We have lived outside our parents' homes since age 18.
We've moved across the country (unchaperoned! gasp!)
We have been paying our own bills for a lonnnggg time.
...and the next step in our life is probably having babies.

So, again, what about that is not "grown up?" 
I know I'm beginning to rant, but I hate that I feel as though I need to defend my adult-ness. That's why that question upsets me so much... it invokes a reaction to defend. As if all we've worked for and accomplished in 25 years is minuscule. Sure, when I'm forty, twenty-five will seem pretty "baby," but I hope that I can read over this post in 15 years and remember that in many ways, it's not.

True, we have less experiences than our parents and those with children. That is definitely going to be a learning curve and will involve another stage of "growing up," and I get that. We gladly look up to our parents and older siblings with a sense of respect and admiration, knowing they have grown up and done well for themselves.  Though we're younger than our parents and siblings, they still wouldn't ask what we want to be when we grow up, because they've watched it happen! So when strangers ask it, it's very startling. 

Anyways...

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you think it's a rude question? Or do you feel like it's justifiable?