2018 Reflections
And just like that, 2018 has come to a close.
Oh friends, what a year this has been. For me, it has been one of the best years of my life, and yet I know that for others, it may been the most painful. Before I go on,
And just like that, 2018 has come to a close.
Oh friends, what a year this has been. For me, it has been one of the best years of my life, and yet I know that for others, it may have been the most painful. Before I go on, I want to acknowledge that. If there is anything that infertility has taught me, it’s that perspective+empathy is a winning combination for tact and compassion. I know I’m not perfectly tactful all the time, and not perfectly compassionate, but I hope that I’ve become better at it. I have been on the side of doling out grace (as we all have!) when people do and say tactless things. Thoughtless things. When they unknowingly (or knowingly) broach a subject that will illicit hurt. I try to remember the perspective I’ve gained, and try to be gentler with my words. I write a little less adamantly these days, because I think fewer opinions are black and white.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have an awful lot of opinions… haha!
But I guess the path of two years of infertility, followed by the birth of our precious baby boy, has taught me to be a little kinder, a little more guarded, and yet be willing to open up when the moment and people are right.
Receiving messages from readers and followers who have been touched by infertility, or motherhood topics, or are traveling to Iceland, or love Bernese Mountain Dogs, continues to be my favorite part of having this little space online. I love connecting with people and I hope my words offer hope or guidance or even just a good story. As I looked over a couple messages I received over the last month, I read one to Tom and said, “You know, sometimes I just want to close up shop, and let blogging end here while I stay at home with Silas. But it’s these messages that make it worth it. I know I have people who read and never reach out, and that’s okay… but it sure would encourage me to keep going if this happened more regularly!” and we laughed and that’s when I decided to dust off my editing page again.
I really hope those of you out there, who still bother to come by this little space, enjoy the far and in-between writings of this Tennessee momma. In the new year, I plan on making Joy Lynn a place I come back to regularly again. Though I must admit, the last seven and a half months with my boy have been absolutely blissful. Tiring. But blissful. All that to say - please reach out if the mood strikes. I promise I don’t bite! Message me on Instagram, Facebook, or email me here.
Now, on to reflections of this year:
As you can guess, it was one that was overwhelmingly baby-focused. As I was rocking my not-so-little 19lb baby to sleep, tonight, I hugged him tightly, and realized how quickly it all goes. I realized this is the last night I would lay down my baby in the year he was born. In the year I became a momma. (Can you tell I’ve become a giant sap since becoming a mother?! haha). Though, I’m so looking forward to 2019 and enjoying the spring and summer with a toddler instead of a newborn.
This year, I’ve learned that…
no good comes of comparing your parenting choices with someone else’s.
all babies are different.
with a new baby, comes a new level of communication with your spouse.
you have got to have a sense of humor for every stage and season of life or you’ll go crazy and be miserable.
overly serious people are not our kind of people .
Hondo’s Instagram is so extra… it’s our favorite thing.
you really do know your baby and the less you doubt that, the happier you’ll all be.
breastfeeding is incredible, but also REALLY time consuming. Pretty sure it’s been my full-time job the last 7+ months.
hobbies matter! My baking and photography are getting picked up more often and I’m so glad for it.
marriage after a baby is pretty awesome.
making time for yourself as not just a mom, but an individual, is important, but sometimes hard to come by. You gotta be creative!
finding a baby carrier you love makes a huuuuuge difference.
traveling with a baby is not pleasant.
even though so much has changed, Tom and I still bring on the sass and it cracks us up on the daily.
There’s not much more I can really say to reflect on this year, besides reiterating how extraordinarily blessed we feel. Tom and I literally fight over whose turn it is to hold Silas on the regular and that alone probably sums up our feels as new parents. We’re a couple of saps, and we have no shame about it. We are completely smitten.
We are so grateful for God’s grace and forgiveness and promise of salvation, we are grateful for our Silas boy (and Hondo!), and we are grateful for one another. If we walked into 2019 with nothing else, we would be as richly blessed.
Happy New Year, my friends.
And thank YOU all for continuing to drop in even while I’ve been taking this time. I love interacting with you on Instagram, and if you have any topics in the meantime that you’d like me to take on in 2019 PLEASE DON’T BE SHY! Would you like me to review anything? Bake anything? Compare any products? Write about Nashville? See more house posts or photos? Minimalism? Marriage topics? Hondo guest posts? (haha kidding) Monthly updates? Favorite products lately? Come on - lemme hear it! It’ll help me get the ball rolling! :)
As always, much love,
Joy
Dear 2017
It seems to me, that a lot of people didn't like you, 2017. You know what I think? I think those people are just a bunch of Debbie-downers...
It seems to me, that a lot of people didn't like you, 2017. You know what I think? I think those people are just a bunch of Debbie-downers (or they just had a crummy year). There was crappy stuff that happened (just like every year). There was a lot of sad news (just like every year). There were opposing opinions and heated discussions and violent arguments... but guess what? It happens every year. That's just a fact of LIFE and living in a world of sin.
(So if you are looking for contentedness and grace, get to know Jesus, friends.)
Anyways, between you and me, I thought you were pretty great, 2017.
The Good
I spent yet another year with the love of my life. Tom and I laughed a ton, made-up a plethora of new inside jokes, cried together, walked through a long hard season while keeping our chins up, and loved each other infinitely more than the year before. We put all our trust and faith in Christ - never perfectly - but nonetheless, we muddled through and still managed to find happiness and joy amidst the difficulties. There is no other person I would rather do life with, and I'm so grateful for his love and our shared weirdness.
We brought home our dream pupper! You guys already know. Hondo is just the best dog in the whole world and we love him to pieces. He is unbelievably clingy and it seems like I can never escape a paw in my lap and a nose in my ear. He is everything we hoped for and more. We never tire of his hilarious antics (and if you want in on the fun, follow his popular Instagram). Read up on why he's so special to us in this post.
We took our first vacation in four years (and we went BIG). We saw three incredible countries and learned a lot about other cultures while meeting some amazing people.
We found out we are expecting a baby (and beat the odds of infertility)! What an overwhelmingly welcome surprise! In a future post, I think I'll share with you the details of our infertility journey. It was such a hard trial and unless you've faced it yourself, I don't know that you'd ever understand the raw hurt and pain that it comes with. However, I feel that being even a small voice for the massive amount of people that silently face this, is the least I can do. It has opened me up to a new sense of compassion and a greater perspective outside the simple excitement most people have when they start their families without a problem.
This baby, though, is so deeply loved already. Our gratefulness to our Lord and Savior for this blessing, knows no bounds. What joy and privilege we feel! I'd say this part of 2017 was a pretty major highlight :)
We moved out of Atlanta! I know I worded that in a way that might seem like a slap in the face to Atlanta, but... people get to feel how they feel, and we are so excited to be in Nashville. It's far less crowded, it's smaller to navigate, and it's closer to our Midwest family. We were a piece to the Georgia puzzle that didn't quite fit, and our latest move has been a welcome one. More on that later.
Tom got a new job. He was ready to be in a more fulfilling role, and this job offer came at some pretty wild timing (right after our big trip, during my first trimester of pregnancy, and the transition happened over Christmas).
We sold our first home. It was bittersweet to say goodbye to the house we DIYed and spent so much time making our own. We learned a lot about owning a home and the costs and work involved in it. It was a blast to have taken that on together and made such happy memories there. It will always hold a special place in our hearts. And I'll miss those giant base cabinet drawers, terribly!
We found a new house! God's timing sure is amazing. Sometimes it feels like you're in seasons where God constantly tells you "not right now" and other seasons where it's a clear "yes" or "no." Infertility was one long "not right now," but suddenly he started pouring a bunch of "yes" at us! This house was no exception. The housing market in Nashville is INSANE, but somehow we found an incredible house and got under contract on it the first week we moved here. The location, style, updates, everything... are exactly what we had been hoping for (and I cannot WAIT to share it with you!). We close in less than two weeks. Teeny spoiler alert photo below! We can't decide if it should be the office/guest room or the nursery...
Regrets
I just feel like I didn't eat enough queso.
Tough Stuff
The fog of infertility greatly affected my drive and left me feeling like I lacked an identity or had to keep such a major part of our life hush-hush (which always feels fake to me). I put up new content, but always wanted to talk about the reality of the hard things going on behind the scenes... yet, I never felt ready. Part of why I started working from home was to be accustomed to being at home once we had children, so when that didn't seem to pan out, it started to affect my overall purpose - online and elsewhere.
This new and recent season, however has greatly uplifted my spirits and excitement for the future. I cannot wait for the things to come, but I'm also greatly enjoying the present.
Oh and I got a kidney stone at 17 weeks pregnant and was in the hospital for two days. That kinda sucked. Haha..
So you know what, 2017... I'm grateful for you. I learned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot, and loved a lot. Not every year needs to be groundbreaking and incredible. Some years need to just carry you gracefully (or hectically in our case) into the next. Some years need to teach you how to grieve, and others need to teach you how to rejoice more enthusiastically than ever before.
Some years, however, are definitely a little more memorable than others, and 2017, you've made it to the memory books for sure.