Shine Bright.

Sometimes you're the only sunshine someone might see all day. Shine bright today. Especially since it's Tuesday... don't let the Monday blues roll over!

Just for fun, today, here's a few ways to shine bright:

• Listen to uplifting, happy music on your commute. Ed Sheeran is always a winner for me.
• Read a short devotion before you even get out of bed.
• Create a positive morning ritual, like this guy's. (Hint: no Facebook, news, etc... BUT there is one social media outlet he uses to start his day off right)
• Smile at people. Even if they don't smile back... at least YOU did your part, eh? Most of the time, though, your smile can trigger a "hello!"
• Check out this list of 12 Things Happy People Do Differently. Take note of some of them. Acts of kindness go such a long way... like holding the door for someone.
• Compliment someone. Seriously. How much do you love being complimented? It's the best.
• Listen more than you talk. Show genuine interest. Eye contact is more important than you realize.
• Bake for people. Obviously.

What other ways can you be the sunshine and light to someone's day? 

What Does a Blogger Even Do?

That's a great question. It's the one I basically get all of the time, and is also kind of annoying to me. Haha. Like I said, I do not sugar coat here. That question, though valid, is always annoying. 

If you have ever gone to a blog, it has words on it. Someone wrote those words. I write the words on my blog, and would consider myself a writer. Short answer. Can't people use deductive reasoning here? Goodness.

However, I understand that blogging is not a common career, unless you do all the social media for a company, in which case, blogging is often part of the job duty. So I understand how when you ask someone what they do and they respond "I'm a blogger" it sounds sort of like they sit in their pajamas all day and write things while watching Netflix in the background. Okay, part of that is true... but I really don't watch Netflix EVERY day.

Trust me, I get it. I get how it sounds to people older than me. But whenever someone my age asks what I do, there is never a hint of confusion and they think it's the coolest thing ever. However, let me dive in and explain blogging as a career! Yaaayyyy!

Do you make money from blogging?

• Yes... over time. Blogging as a career doesn't happen overnight and sometimes doesn't even happen over a year. It takes time, patience, and consistency to see monetary results. We gain money from selling ad space, sponsorship, and freelance writing. Many bloggers have other jobs to compensate for the slow process, but others choose to live on a tighter budget in order to dedicate their time to blogging full-time.

Do you actually hang out in your pajamas all day?

• Yes. I don't wake up at 10 though. I actually wake my husband up so he can get ready for work. Once he's in the shower, I make coffee and start working before he's even out the door. But one of my goals in the new year is to shower before noon every day. 

Besides writing, what could possibly occupy your time??

• Research on trending topics to stay relevant with my audience.
• Networking with other bloggers. Collaborating, emailing, reaching out via social media, constant, constant outreach. It's one of the important steps in gaining a following.
• Editing posts. Posts don't always get written in a day. Sometimes I need to let one rest in purgatory before my creative juices can come back. This means writing paragraph after paragraph, and deleting the entire thing and starting over. 
• Editing photos. If you want to use original photos, they don't usually look good just downloaded off your iPhone. They need to be edited and that doesn't take 5 minutes. Especially if you're going to post a gallery of photos. The image above? I took several pictures, picked one, edited the colors, contrast, etc... then spent the time to put text on it, downloaded it, had to convert it to a jpeg, then had to make sure it looked good at the top of this page (placement, etc...). It's very time consuming, and easy to be lazy and have poor imagery. One of my goals this year is to have top notch photos (keep me accountable, people!)
• Upkeep on my website. Not only did I customize and build this website in about a week and a half, but I have to keep up with it. I make sure posts are showing up correctly - in the right categories, correct spelling, my links and buttons are working as they should, mobile looks correct, etc...

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What are the perks of being a blogger?

• Flexibility. I have lunch when I get hungry. I can schedule appointments whenever I want. My vacation isn't limited to hours earned or a certain number of weeks. Which is soooo nice when people visit or when I'm trying to plan a trip. I can be involved in things during the day (volunteering, networking meetings, etc...). I can run errands when traffic isn't a cluster. The house stays clean and I can start dinner before Tom gets home from work. It's great.
• Decision making. I love love LOVE working with people, but not when they're making all my decisions for me. I love that I can network with others, but own my thang. In many ways I can be a loner, but writing for other people brings me so much joy. I like to say the things other people are too afraid to say. I can stand behind my words, and I encourage others to let their voice be heard too.
• Continued learning. I get to teach myself cool new skills and it rocks! I started dabbling in hand-lettering, I can take classes on Skillshare, I've learned basic coding skills, and I can take free classes offered in Atlanta during the day. Not to mention, I'm married to a UX Designer and whatever he learns, I get to learn too.
• Talking to my family during the day when they're home. Love that.

What stinks about blogging?

• Feeling isolated. I don't have co-workers, so I have to get creative and force myself to work outside of our apartment or I'll get terrible cabin fever. This is why I talk on the phone with family a lot. Sometimes I bounce ideas off of them... and if anything, they're great company.
• Accountability. It can be easier to push something off because I don't have to make a deadline for anyone but myself. Another thing that I'm working on in the new year!
• Holding to work hours. I'm working on keeping set work hours of 9-5. However, when you work and live in the same place, the lines get smudged and suddenly I can't put my work down until 10pm, or maybe I'll throw in the towel at 2pm. Cabin fever gets worse, because my husband comes home to unwind and I want to get OUT to unwind. Or when people know you work from home, they assume you're free every weekday whenever... which you could be... but it's important to keep a level of consistency and be able to say no sometimes. I'm working on the right balance, but it's tough.

Overall, blogging is about learning the right balance, constant learning and skill-honing, and lots and lots of hard work. Is it worth the challenge? Absolutely. Is it rewarding? You bet. It's a work of my own hands.

If you're thinking about blogging, if you'd like to guest blog for me, if you'd like to collaborate, or if you still don't get what a blogger does, contact me!

10 Things I'm Leaving in 2014

First of all, this morning, I had no idea it was New Years Eve.

My husband reminded me of this fact as he walked out the door to work... I looked at him with my greasy hair in a bun on top of my head and made a face like this:

Then I went to the store and got mini bottles of champagne and some mini bundt cakes (Thanks Jonny and Angela for the giftcard to the holy land of Nothing Bundt Cakes!!! Go there if you can, people. The best cakes in the WHOLE WORLD).

So that's how we're celebrating. And I am not going to wear a sequin dress. I'm probably going to wear a clean, giant t-shirt and ugly slippers. I'm so excited.

So then I felt pressured to write some glorious blog post about my resolutions for 2015.

But everyone does that.

Or they talk about why they don't have resolutions.

Or how they're going to be a better person.

But what about this last year?

Does anyone ever talk about how they did on their resolution over the last year? Nope! Because people forget they even had a resolution. So why make one if you're just going to forget it?

I feel like no one talks about what they learned in the last year - but guys, that's super important!

So here are some things I want to leave in 2014:

1. Crying. If you've read my blog, you know this. I've cried so much since moving to Georgia I think my tear ducts actually had to expand and have amped up their production. I'm okay with leaving the tears in 2014. Fingers crossed.
2. Stagnant jobs. When my husband got a job in Georgia, I finally had a great excuse to leave my stagnant job behind. I had no idea how much my job was hurting me not only emotionally and mentally, but physically too. I suddenly started getting full nights of sleep again, my skin cleared up, and day after day I am more refreshed than I've felt in two years. If your job is weighing you down, move on. You won't regret it. 
3. My fear of heights. Okay, maybe not. But I'll try. I think I'm getting better. I made it over a couple of bridges and stairs this fall without totally losing it. There's hope.
4. Fake friendships. Real friendships include friends that are happy with you, sad with you, and mad with you. True friends support and encourage you, and are interested and invested in you. I realized how many people fell out of my life this year, and that lightbulb of "you were never actually my friend..." went off. I have a clearer sense of who I am important to and who is important to me. It's wonderful. But it also makes me miss the real ones like crazyyyy.
5. My fear of driving. I hate driving, guys. But I'm gonna put that fear behind me. Literally, I'm going to drive my fear away. But I secretly (not so secretly) wish I had a personal driver.
6. Disconnection with family. No matter the miles between you, your family will always be there. Because of my new venture in working from home, I have talked to my beloved sisters more than I have been able to in years. They've listened to me cry and called to make me laugh. The chance to talk to my family every day or at least every week is something I am so glad to make time for, now.
7. Distrust in God's plan. Sometimes God's plan for you is different than you were "hoping" for. Once you see the effect of His plan, though, you suddenly realize He has your best interests in mind. He led us to an amazing church home in Georgia. He gave both Tom and I new opportunities to develop our careers into something that "fits" us. He showed me the true value of family and friends. It's kind of like that Garth Brooks song that says "sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers." What we think would be ideal may not be... and God knows. He's definitely a lot more dependable... and thankfully, always right.
8. Low confidence. You choose how to feel. I'm leaving my insecurities in 2014 and enjoying all the seasons of my life. I'm going to choose to love me. No more thoughts that "I can't" or "I wish." I am me, and I am happy.
9. Lack of experience. Experience more. New restaurants, new shops, new towns, a new shampoo. Gain experience in a hobby or branch of your job you'd like to learn more about. We live in a big wide world - go experience it! It is so exciting to try something new. You'll be surprised at how capable you are. 
10. DIY projects. Let's be real. I'm terrible at DIY, so it's time to put a lid on it.

I hope everyone had a fabulous 2014 and you can all take away some lessons learned. Remember to leave some things in 2014, though, because 2015 needs room to be even better. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What are YOU leaving behind? Doesn't it feel good just to SAY you're leaving things behind you?

How do you speak to yourself?

A while back, I gave you a thought provoking question which you can read here.

So how about this one?

"If you had a friend that you spoke to the same way you speak to yourself, how long do you think that person would allow you to be their friend?"

Are you hard on yourself? So many times, we are our own worst critics. Maybe it sounds like this:

• My arms aren't skinny enough.
• My thighs are too big.
• I wish I could run for longer.
• I wish my hair looked like so and so's.
• I don't work hard enough.
• I don't know enough about this.
• I'm not as talented as he is.
• I feel worthless.

So turn those statements around as if you're telling them to a friend:

• Your arms aren't skinny enough.
• Your thighs are too big.
• Too bad you can't run for longer.
• I bet you wish your hair looked like so and so's.
• You don't work hard enough.
• You don't know enough about that.
• You're not as talented as he is.
• I think you're worthless.

Woof.

I don't want to be their friend.

Sadly, I'm guilty of speaking to myself like that - why would I be such a crappy friend to myself? I think most of us tend to simply do this on autopilot. You could be an ultra confident person, but still find yourself berating your own person here and there. Even those little criticisms, though, will build up over time. You suddenly find that you're comparing yourself to your friends... or even strangers. How damaging over time! Just as that question asks, how long would you be friends with someone who spoke to you like that? Not very long, huh?

Keep that question in your mind the next time you look in the mirror and find that your roots have grown out. Or when you're at your job and cannot seem to get a promotion no matter how hard you work, leaving you feeling worthless. Or when you get lapped on the trail by a guy twice your age.

Stop self-degrading, and instead, remember this:

Exist to be happy. Not to impress.

I've got some serious stones.

YEAH, KIDNEY STONES!

Guys, having a kidney stone hurts. A LOT.

This is why I have been M.I.A. from blogging for a while. I thought I would give it a touch of good humored drama, but also straight facts because, to be honest, I knew people got kidney stones and they hurt, but they really stink more than people let on. So here's the play-by-play...

Friday night was just its usual glory. Tom and I had heated up some leftover mac n' cheese and decided to wash it down with some bloody mary's. We snuggled and went about our Friday as usual.

Saturday morning:

7AM:

Woke up from a terrible, uncomfortable, aching pain in my back on the right. Nothing made it feel better, so Tom threw me some sweatpants and got me in the car to go to the ER (I have never EVER been to the hospital before. Let alone an ER)

8AM:

Been checked in for a while, in my ER room, writhing in pain, but bearing it. Wouldn't let my husband touch me. ALL OF THE PAIN EVER. Doctor Nice Guy called me skinny and is my new BFF.

9AM:

Finally some relief of IV pain meds. Then a CT scan. Also, had to carry my IV bag to the bathroom in that weird robe = awkward. Why are hospital blankets so thin?? Freezing up in here!

10AM:

The news - I have a kidney stone, and two more hanging out in my kidney that may or may not show up at some point in the future. Pain meds wearing off...

*PROUD MOMENT*

From what I've been told, the pain from kidney stones is worse than that of childbirth. Admittedly, I am kind of a baby when I get sick or have a headache or something menial. So naturally, Tom thinks I am going to be such a wuss in childbirth. I can't really blame him for thinking that... but it does kind of stink when your own husband doesn't believe in your pain tolerance for birthing his future children.

When my nurse came into my room to discharge me, she said, "Okay, I just really have to tell you. You must have a really high pain tolerance. In all my years as an ER nurse, I have never seen someone bear kidney stone pain like you. Most people can't lay down and handle it. They walk around and try to get comfortable, even though there is no getting comfortable with that pain. But you just laid there and took it like a champ! Seriously, good job!"

*smug look towards Tom* NOW DO YOU BELIEVE I'LL BE A WUSS? HUH?? Okay, again, I can't blame him... I mean, the fact that I nearly fainted from reading about a broken nose says it all. I'm shocked I made it through this ordeal.

*PROUD MOMENT OVER*

After I got released, we rushed over to the nearest Target to get my Rx's filled. Once the drugs were in hand, I took them all at once. Guys? That is a really bad decision if you have next to nothing in your stomach. I puked up everything that touched my lips over the course of 20 hours... including water. So be careful with those pain pills. I quit taking them by the end of day one, because I knew hydration needed to trump pain. Also, just those few pain pills made me drowsy enough to sleep for (no joke) about 30 or more hours... and not just like dosing off, like knocked OUT... I would wake up for 10-15 minute intervals after a few hours asleep and then go back to it. It was crazyyy.

So I sort of missed Saturday and Sunday because I was asleep the entire time and dealing with the pain. Monday was my "day of hope." I could eat and drink and was determined to get this sucker out. I had been reading that gravity and loads of fluids worked in your favor in this situation. So, I kid you not, I sat on the edge of my bed and bounced and chugged water and bounced, bounced, bounced. The pain was still lingering and going in bursts, but I was getting desperate. LO AND BEHOLD the next morning that little nugget showed up in my pee strainer (that the hospital gave me, it wasn't from my kitchen, people). I obviously had to wake up Tom for the announcement, and the heavens rang out in alleluias. If you're wondering, it was TINY. Smaller than a pin head... how disappointing, right? Something SO TINY caused me so much pain!?!? Obviously I'm weird enough to keep it, so it's in a baggy in the bathroom closet.

Here is the true goodness of this long-winded record of my kidney stone ordeal (that maybe you didn't even care about reading... haha):

Some people out there are just meant to give perspective to the world. In such amazing, yet small, ways. As we were leaving the ER, Tom ran out to pull the car around. I was standing in the waiting room, hugging myself in clear pain. Writhing, really. I started to shuffle out the automatic doors in my baggy sweatpants, kind of gimping along, really slowly... when I suddenly heard from behind me, "I hope you feel better..." I turned around to see an older man with a prosthetic leg looking at me with a half-smile. I stopped in my tracks and thanked him as genuinely as possible. But I was blown away... here I am gimping out to the car that my husband brought around for me, and this kind gentleman with no leg hopes I feel better. That's incredible. Perspective is a crazy thing. Yeah, I'm really in a lot of pain, there is no denying that. But that dude lost his leg... could have been in war or from an infection, but that doesn't really matter. Every single day his life is harder than mine and he hopes I feel better? What perfect timing to get that perspective. God bless him.

Then, in Target, as I waited for the prescriptions to get filled, Tom ran up to buy me some apple juice. He came back and told me that the woman in front of him, with two young children in tow, had snatched the apple juice and paid for it. He told her no, but she insisted, "It's already scanned. I'm not going to make you wait for me to go all the way through. Merry Christmas!" Seriously? This sweet lady didn't even know that Tom was getting that juice for his sick wife. What a small, unforgettable gesture.

Moral of the story, always keep perspective. I've shared with you a detailed account of my awful kidney stone ordeal, which I hope was somewhat amusing... and if not, I can read it to my children as a bedtime story one day, right? Honestly though - no matter what you're struggling with, remember there are people who have it worse, and they still manage to keep their chin up. I would encourage you to remember this especially in the upcoming holiday season, but really, we should be remembering this all year round. Maybe the next time I see a parent with young kids, I can offer to help them get their shopping to their car, because that kind of person once helped me. Or pay for the car behind me in the drive-thru. Or take care of my incredible husband the same way he cared for me while I was sick. Or even just to acknowledge someone who looks lonely and brighten their day. It doesn't need to be anything fancy or costly... because the cost of perspective and compassion is priceless.

If you lost all your memories...

If you could keep only one memory, what would it be?

Isn't that a thought provoking question? Seriously though. I'm only 25, but to think of all the moments in my life that I hold dear, if I could only keep ONE...? 

My mind starts to roll back into every season of my life. Does this question do the same to you? I think of being a young child and looking up to my older siblings, the times I spent with my grandparents before they passed, the family vacations, my nieces and nephews being born...

Personally, I skim over my middle school through high school years, because they seem insignificant to me. Isn't that odd? I guess it was the awkwardness of not fitting in and a lack of confidence. But those years made me who I am... would I be different if I had no memory of that time in my life? 

College was great - how could I choose only one memory from those precious years? Or when I met Tom? Our wedding? Honeymoon? The countless memories of this first year and a half together? 

HOW COULD YOU PICK?!

I just have no idea - memories are what make up your life! If I had to pick ONLY one, there is one that stands out to me so vividly. But it is simply the beginning of a culmination of hundreds that have followed, so it's really if I HAD to choose.

After our wedding, we drove to Chicago - still dressed in our wedding clothes. We arrived at our hotel and Tom loaded up a cart for our luggage. We got to our room, he took the luggage off the cart and was about to return it. But I wanted to get out of my TIGHT dress, so I asked if he could undo the buttons before he took the cart downstairs. I was standing in front of a mirror, simply by chance, and I stood there in my dress - a bride - while he so quietly, patiently, and lovingly undid those silly buttons. I just looked at us in the mirror. It was such a beautiful moment. He even had to use his keys to get them off! Haha! Then we grabbed dinner in the hotel restaurant and it was the calmest and most relaxing experience after all that planning and preparing. We were MARRIED. Mexico was awaiting us the next day! So that would be my memory... but I know over all the years to come, my choice in ONE memory will change.

What would you choose? Is this question as tough for you as it was for me?

+Moving -Friends

This is going to seem sort of mopey, but I gotta say it because it's true, and that's what I do on this blog. Sugar coating is not my thing.

Moving is real lonely.

• We moved somewhere where we have no family.
• I work with... myself.
• Tom works at his work.
• Sundays we go to church.
• I know a handful of people, mostly older than myself (and I am super grateful for that handful!)

When you move, there are always pros and cons. We were both ready to leave our jobs, be in a warmer climate, pursue things that we love to do, and make an overall change in life's routine.

You can't regret a move like that (and as I've said I don't believe in regrets... except for bad haircuts). Especially when your husband is doing what he loves for a living and feels challenged and appreciated. Plus, I have been given the opportunity to pursue creative efforts and dip into the waters of employment freedom - and that is a wonderful thing. Truly a blessing.

The all-availing con that I am left with is loneliness. I don't get to socialize everyday, which is tough, because I'm a very social person. Tom has his co-workers and a very social workplace, but HE is all I have as far as a social escape. I am happy doing what I am doing in my creative functions, I've sworn away desk jobs, and part-time jobs have finicky hours. I'm being picky here, but I feel blessed to have the freedom to be that way. Working part-time would give me social interaction (which I crave) but what about friendships? I have really learned that a professional environment should remain professional and your personal life and work shouldn't mingle too much.

That was an easy obstacle to overcome in Wisconsin, because all my best friends were still within driving distance and we made regular plans to see each other. My problem in Georgia is that for the first time, I don't know how to meet people. I mean, you can't just walk into some public place and expect to meet your next best friend.

Do you guys have any advice? Poor Tom can't keep walking in the door from work and have me koala him for the next 5 hours. For his sake, HELP ME!

Have any of you been in this situation before (moving and trying to make friends)? How did you overcome it? It's tough to randomly meet people the same age as me, or in the same stage of life. It kind of feels like trying to navigate middle school again. Comment below!

Also, because I'm not afraid to admit that I'm awkward, I have actually said to strangers "Yeah, I just moved here. I don't have any friends" and then they frown at me and I almost cry a little because it sounds so pathetic. HAHAHA...

I'm 25.

Yep, I turned 25 on Tuesday. I think I'll just add to the numerous other blog posts you can find out there now about "How it feels to turn 25" and "What every girl should learn before she's 30" and "What every woman needs to accomplish in her 20's."

Here's the thing. Yeah, turning 25 is actually kind of weird. I'm still young (even though I prefer a 10:00 bedtime over my usual 11:30 bedtime), but now I'm over that "youthful" hump. I sort of feel like as you progress towards 25, every age before that is really juvenile. 24, 23, 22? All of those count as being 22. 21? That years flies by...for some reason... Everything before 21, is soooo baby. You knew nothing!

But 25? I feel like the things I have learned thus far in my life are coming into practice more and more. I act like my mom, I embrace that, and even respect that. She's a pretty awesome woman. Before this I was probably in denial that I would be like her. In fact I remember hating in college when my sisters would tell me I act like her... now? Great! My mom has the most youthful personality. Why would I want anything less? 

Now when is the patience of my dad supposed to show up? I could really use his patient demeanor sometimes. Ha!

I don't know what it is about saying "I'm 25" that suddenly feels so weird. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I'm now closer to 30. Or that now the "aging process" is going to start reaping its rewards on my laugh lines. Whatever it is, it got my biological clock ticking and ON MY BIRTHDAY I got in this whole saga with Tom about it. It was pretty hysterical. It was basically me letting the words "I'm OLD!!!" reverberate in the air for 45 minutes (side note: I'm not really old).

Anyways, all those posts out there tell you to travel the world (if that's what you want to do) and learn to eat alone (if that's what you want to do) and follow your dream to the ends of the earth (if that's what you want to do) and buy yourself grown-up clothes (if that's what you want to do) and fall in love or out of love (if that's what you want to do) and take care of your body and soul (if that's what you want to do) and quit your job (if that's what you want to do)....and so on and so forth.

Let me sum up what they mean: Do. What. You. Want. To. Do.

The thing is, you don't have to travel the world or buy yourself grown-up clothes or fall in love to be happy in this life. I'm not saying that any of those things aren't admirable. I think they all have a place. But if the whole point is to do what YOU want to do, then what is some list on someone's blog about what to accomplish before you're 30 ever going to do FOR YOU?

And frankly, we are not on this earth for ourselves. God put us here. We are here for Him first and then for our friends and neighbors. Sure, maybe a list like the ones described will give you a sense of empowerment and maybe some ideas of where to start - there is nothing wrong with that. I like to know that something I write will empower others to speak their minds, share Christ, forgive, say sorry, try something new, or do something they've always dreamed of doing but never had the courage.

I could sit here and give you a list of things I can think of that I want to accomplish before I'm 30, but what good is that for you? Make your OWN list! Don't follow some super general list that every other 20-something is trying to emulate. 

Don't sit there at your 9-to-5 job judging Susie for getting married and having kids instead of going to college. Her dreams and aspirations are not yours. And maybe what you always THOUGHT was your dream, will change. People tell you "TRAVEL!"... but from one person to the next, that may or may not be important.

A year ago I wanted to be a career driven, corporate somebody. Now? That's not at all what I want. I have the resources to explore something different, and I am so blessed to have that opportunity. But you know what? Some of the people I left behind DO want to be a career driven, corporate somebody and I admire their dedication. I'm proud of them for fulfilling their goals. I have goals of my own, and who is to tell either me, or the next person what they should and should not accomplish in this life? DO YOU! That is the beauty of this God-given life. He gives us many different paths to walk - some tougher than others, but all in His plan, nonetheless. 

As for me...my wish, in this 25th year of life, is that I "do me" and love others in the process.