When You're Void of Peers

Do you have peers around you? Same age, stage of life, etc...?

In high school you're surrounded by peers. In college, again, you're surrounded by peers. In your first grown-up job there is a good chance you'll be surrounded by peers too.

In my case, that is exactly how things panned out. I had such amazing college friends who, when we graduated, mostly remained in the same area. Maybe that's unusual, but once a month or so, we'd plan a dinner to meet up or maybe we'd even be spontaneous enough in our new, job-y lifestyles to grab coffee on a weekday after work. We'd show up in our cardigans and pencil skirts and talk about wedding planning, newlywed life, or swap funny work stories. Then one of us moved... and then another...

For us that moved away, we found ourselves a little forlorn. Who would I get dinner with once a month and swap funny marriage stories with? In fact, who can I talk openly about my life with now?

In college, our friendships grew from a clean slate. We hadn't dated much, gone bar hopping, bought our own wardrobe, lived outside our parent's homes... so as we learned to navigate life, we navigated it together.  We saw each other breakdown under the pressure of school work or breakups. We helped each other scrape our way through the poorest of poor and pay rent and still manage to eat. Our heart-to-hearts were encouraging, understanding, faith-based, and always on the same page. When one of us was hurting, there were people there to comfort and knowingly offer hugs, a sleepover, and a drink.

When marriages physically separated us, the understanding and knowing words of encouragement remained. Our lives still mirrored one another in changes, accomplishments, and frustrations.

Having been one that moved away, the lack of peers has been hard. Of all the adjustments in being 800 miles from all that's familiar (yes, I'm still not used to Georgia!), having spot-on commonality is something I desperately miss. Sure, I can call any of these people and say "So remember when Tom and I got in that dumb argument about ___? Well the subject came up again and he totally gets what I mean now and we laughed about it," but I can't grab their favorite drink at Starbucks and show up on their doorstep.

One of these nearest and dearests is now pregnant. She has peers around her that are also nearing that stage. They get to learn about weird pregnancy things together and cry about how their pants don't fit anymore and how they sleep really bad now. I'm so excited for her and I love hearing about every step of the way.

But it got me thinking about how much I miss my peers. How when at some point I am expecting a little babe I won't have someone to come over and swap new, strange pregnancy discoveries with. You know, saying things like, "Has this happened to you yet? Have you noticed this in the mornings?" Maybe it seems like a silly revelation... but it was another roundhouse kick to the lonely part of my heart. Having those unfiltered, honest conversations about things that are TMI or just plain funny. The feeling of being able to relate on that deeper, long term level is so underrated, isn't it? Making those references to an experience 3 years ago that relate to a reference now is so wonderful. The simple convenience of talking to someone (in your sweatpants and makeup-free face) about how your lives have changed so much since that night you walked barefoot to the Pizza Shuttle from North Ave.

Even at my husband's work, he is the only 'one of his kind.' When we do meet people our own age, they're still dating around. Rarely we find another young, married couple, but their beliefs differ ours entirely. So maybe our situation back in the Midwest was unique...?

Regardless, I guess all I'm saying is, keep your peers close. When you're the only one of your kind in a new city, you will so desperately miss being able to relate to someone familiar. Someone who saw you every day. You'll feel a little remorse for not showing up at their door more often in the past and you'll feel slightly pathetic for missing your peers now. You'll feel the spontaneity and sociable characteristics you once had, drain a little. You'll feel that twinge of loneliness in your heart from time to time.

By God's grace, though, I often see the silver lining. I remember that the opportunities we've come across and people we've met here are incredible. We have a house, year-round beautiful weather, and an amazing location for others to visit. 

So again, do you have peers around you? Have you been, or are in my scenario too? How have you learned to cope? 

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And by no means am I ungrateful for the incredible, loving, welcoming friends I have here. They are the ones I talk about admiringly to my family and I look forward to seeing them. They have my back, and I have theirs. There is something unifying about the relationships I've made here and how deep down I feel fiercely connected to them. Like family.

26 Things I've Learned in 26 Years

Today is my 26th birthday. Last year I talked about how my biological clock had a breakdown and I thought I was old as sin.
This year, though, I'm pretty at peace with it. I'm excited to be 26. I'm proud of my accomplishments and even prouder of my husband for putting up with me and being such an incredible provider for us. I'm another year older, so I'm supposed to be another year wiser... right? In light of that, here are a few things I've learned over 26 years. Of course, there are more where these came from... but the '26 in 26' was all cutesy. Enjoy!

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1. You should be grateful you don't look the same as you did in 6th grade.

2. When you feel like no one loves you, not only does God remind you that you're loved by Him, He also places wonderful people in your life at just the right time. And those people make you feel love in a way you've never felt it before.

3. I regret not eating pizza crusts in my youth #breadandcheeseforever

4. Wine is never a bad idea.

5. God's timing is always perfect. ALWAYS.

6. Your dream job is probably nothing like what you imagined as a new college grad. Even when you think you landed your 'dream job,' time might prove it wrong.

7. Your actual dream job might be the hardest, most challenging, risky job... but those characteristics might be how you know it when you see it.

8. Learning how to cook and bake is a priceless talent. And it's a good one for impressing the fellas (truly, the way to their hearts is through food).

9. Your priorities will change with every new season, and learning to embrace those changes is detrimental to your happiness.

10. Loving people for just who they are instead of wishing they were different can help you love and appreciate them more than you thought you could.

11. You can never have too many back rubs.

12. Getting really sick can show you how strong you are... and it might be surprising how much you can handle!

13. Praying for your future spouse is never done in vain. Now, knowing the man for whom I prayed, I feel so much thankfulness. He is far better than any man I concocted in my head - hahaha! I'm happy to continue praying for the wonderful man that I call husband.

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14. Your mother is always right. And she gets cooler the older you get. 

15. Your voice tone can make or break a conversation... or a relationship.

16. Strong faith, good communication, honesty, and LOTS of laughter is the perfect recipe for a great marriage.

17. ...but that doesn't mean marriage is always easy! You reap what you sow. Arguing can be very important as long as you learn how to do it right.

18. Sadly, your metabolism will never be like that of the Gilmore Girls. I can only dream of eating Poptarts for breakfast every day. 

19. Growing older also means growing more comfortable in being exactly who you are, unapologetically.

20. I'm not really me until I've had coffee.

21. Things are just that, and they can be taken from you or lose value. But places, experiences, and memories will last you a lifetime and can be shared with the people you love most. I'm grateful to have learned to always value experiences over things.

22. The power of forgiveness is truly astounding. What you can overcome by learning to forgive is incredible. And that we are forgiven, FREELY!

23. Fall is honestly the most superior season and living in Georgia extends it for months.

24. My dad was completely accurate in saying I shouldn't be allowed to drive or own a vehicle.

25. Thomas is the actual best. This should be shouted from a mountain top because I just love him to absolute pieces. In my 26 years, he has been the highlight by far.

26. That some of the best years of my life haven't even happened yet... and that is really, really rad.

Raise up a glass and let's toast to being 26! I know this year is going to hold exciting new adventures and lessons to learn. I'm thrilled to continue to share these moments with all of you lovely readers.

Do you have any other little lessons or pieces of advice that I should bring into my twenty-sixth year? Please share your wisdom with me today!

You're busy.... and no one cares.

Oh my gosh, I am so busy.

My days are spent trying to settle in our house - which is a constant, uphill battle trying to get house project after house project done. If I'm not doing that, I'm trying to find a spare minute to get blog networking, reading, and commenting in. Of course, somewhere in there I'm trying to find the inspiration for a meaningful, intentional blog post... not to mention the editing and picture taking and social media managing. Plus, the additional time I spend volunteering my hours to others. Seriously though, keeping up with the ever-chaotic construction zone of our house is enough! Busy busy busy, I tell you!

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Who cares?

The above paragraph is what I sound like when people ask me what's new. It's similar to what other people sound like when I ask what's new with them... and frankly, who cares?

Why is it that when we ask what's been going on in someone's life, it turns into a match between busyness? We pride ourselves in it. A short answer of "just work, really" suddenly doesn't sound like enough to us. Why in the world does this person only work 9-5 and not volunteer or spend every evening working on their house or landscaping or taking their kids to practices? They must be bored - because man, am I busy!

I get caught up in this as much as the next person. As someone who works from home, I feel as though I need to have an explanation for every moment of my day so that people know how dog-gone busy I am. The thing is... we don't need to defend every second of our day, guys. I know that I'm busy, but does sounding it off to others reaffirm it, or just make me sound insecure about it? When I see the Facebook posts that tout 'so busy' but 'so blessed' all I read is a bragging-complaint. Is busyness put on such a pedestal that anything less is not a blessing? 

Maybe sometimes it's out of fear that someone will ask you to add yet another thing to your plate. By telling them how busy you are, you get to shut them down before they can start. That being said, it is important to know your limits and how or when to say "no." The comfortable balance between work and play is different to everyone. Personally, I refrain from saying yes to engagements until I can really look at my agendas and give them a truthful answer. Saying no just because you don't want to, is entirely different from saying no because you just can't fit it in. Know your own limits and respond accordingly.

The inspiration for this post comes from an article I saved while in college. Apparently it spoke to me in those busy, self-centered college years, but it can still ring true for every stage of life. The article is called The Pride of Busyness and the author hits such amazing points... like in this quote, for instance:

"A life of constant overcommitment is not a sign of success, or something to be bragged about. It is a sign of imbalance, a sign we have put our faith in the gospel of busyness instead of in a God who dares us to trust Him and be willing to rest."

Beautifully said! You may find, in your willingness to rest, that God is reminding you of your purpose on this earth. That life isn't about working yourself into the ground, or having the money for the best and latest gadget, or getting your children to every.single.practice. Your time on this earth is a gift from God. Your life is for sharing the good news of salvation with others - whether you're busy or not.

So who cares if you're busy, and who cares if you're not. Enough with the pride of busyness... instead share the pride you have in knowing your Savior. The next time someone asks what's new, challenge yourself not to out-busy them. Instead share the blessings God has given you and look for the beauty in rest and contentedness. 

Not The Outside

Clothes can be a huge reflection on how you perceive yourself and how you want others to perceive you. They are a basic necessity, but more than that, they can affect how you feel. Whatever your body type or season in life, clothes have the power to raise you up or tear you down in confidence and insecurities. 

In college, my style identity was anything classic, nautical, Native American (think feathers and leather fringe and moccasins), frumpy-but-with-hoop-earrings-and-curled-hair, never without high heels, and put together. Honestly, I could pull just about anything off. A lesson on modesty might have done some good (sorry mom..), but until college, I had never had a cute figure. My confidence was through the roof those years.

However, in the last several months I have had numerous conversations with friends and women my age. Most are in their mid-twenties and in a newish stage of life. Some of these women have had a baby, are pregnant, in the best shape of their lives, have been married for several years, or are still the same size they were in college. Bodies have changed, my own included. With those changes, some have seen confidence they never knew they had, while others have felt insecurities on a deep level.

They have expressed frustration in their bodies changing by no fault of their own - they have a baby that is growing inside them! Others enjoyed 'dating' in those first few years of marriage and indulged a little more often than they should have. Still others have seen the aftermath of having a baby and the work it takes to get back to their pre-baby body. Then, others have discovered the beauty of nutrition and fitness and curated a slim figure for themselves. I have witnessed my own body change with age, and the bodies of women around me.

...and it's the most beautiful thing.

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It's hard sometimes... but rewarding at others. I'm not as tiny as I was in college, and for a while, I mourned that 'loss.' One day, though, I looked at myself differently.
I saw the curves and the flaws I hadn't had before and I realized that it was happiness, memories made, and experiences that got me there. Sure, my pants not fitting was frustrating for a while, but I learned that throughout life, this is just going to happen. Next year, I might be as tiny as I was in college, if I choose to be. For now, though, this is the season I'm in and it's my choice to embrace it. Someday I'll have babies that will change my frame. But I will still be me. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Just because I was small in college doesn't mean I had more value. In fact, as a wife and a woman with more maturity now, I feel that my value has increased... despite a change in appearance. I can look back and remember that past season in college was one of triumph over what could have been a dangerous eating disorder. I am better where I am now.

Based on my chosen career and changes in interest, fashion has taken more of a backseat in my life. My definition of 'dressed up' can sometimes mean that I actually put on pants today or dried my hair. This realization was weird at first.

"Since when did I stop shopping? ... This skirt is so short. Did I really wear this in public? ... Why are all my heels so high?"

But guys, it's stages in life! In a year, I might be the biggest fashionista in Georgia.

Obviously, clothes made me feel great when everything in the world fit me perfectly. Now, however, the stores I once frequented not only seem to have ill-fitting pieces, but they look very tween-ish. Again, stages of life!
Two years ago, 'dressed up' meant heels, perfect hair, lots of makeup, and a different purse for every occasion. Today, flowy, loose, fabrics and flattering pants with sandals are my version of 'dressed up.'  In two+ years from now (God-willing), I'll probably be lucky if my hair is even remotely clean (#motherhood).

The thing I've discovered, though, is how impactful clothing really is to your self-esteem. Once I stopped wishing I was college-sized and just bought some clothes that fit my new curves, I felt like a million bucks (read: bra fittings!!!). 

I want to share the importance of that message. Clothes matter! This doesn't mean you have to spend gobs of money on designer brands, but to be intentional about what makes you feel beautiful and valued. Maybe that means owning several dresses or pairs of pants that fit perfectly. Maybe that means only buying fabrics that make you feel comfortable and chic. Maybe it means your shoes need to be trendy, but adequate for carrying a baby on your hip all day. It could even mean just owning a cute pair of pajamas that makes being home with a new baby all that much easier.

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A friend and I recently happened upon a store in my town. As I walked around I noticed that the clientele was incredibly varied. Their clothes were very in-style, but they seemed to have something for everyone. The fabrics, styles, and colors were similar, yet unique. Even the prices were ideal (my rule of thumb: if a store's most expensive shoes are $50 or less, the prices of everything else should be in my sweet spot). It was a boutique, but larger than others I'd seen.

Since visiting their store, the thoughts in this post have been on my mind because their mission perfectly aligns with my thoughts on fashion and confidence as of late.

From their website:

"At the core of the company, Dress Up had one main mission - to show the love of Christ and to help women realize their worth. The couple wanted to make sure that each woman walking in the doors left feeling more confident and loved than they did walking in. It was this mission that shoppers began to fall in love with. After just a little over a year since creation, the brand had built a loyal following of locals, who were excited about expansion." 

Isn't that beautiful? Honestly, I did feel more loved after I left and I am excited to go back to Dressed Up. The girls working there were the sweetest and the other customers were lovely too. I just cannot get their message out of my head, so I needed to share my thoughts. By the way, I was not asked to write this post and am receiving nothing from Dressed Up - I just really loved this store and left feeling so encouraged and happy that I had to say it! 

I felt like I found a place that catered not only to my stage of life and changes in my body, but it catered to the woman who just had a baby and the girl who started her first day of college. It was unifying and it helped me remember that clothes can do so much in showing love to your body. It was a reminder that no matter what stage of life I'm in, God created me as me... just as he created that girl, and that mom shopping on either side of me.

Your value doesn't depend on how you look, what you wear, what size you are, or your stage of life. You are valued by Christ. Just remember to value yourself... and find some clothes that help you do so!

If you're curious, go check out their website and read their full story.

Do you have any thoughts to add? Have you been in a stage and felt less confident, but instead chose to embrace and love yourself? Tell me about it - the inspiring stories of the women in my life are so beautiful!

Thoughts While Hangry

In case you've been living in a cave, the term hangry is the blending of the words  hungry and angry.

Taken from the most accurate possible online dictionary, Urban Dictionary, here is one definition:

"The state of being so hungry that it has become infuriating. A hybrid of hungry and angry."

I'm here to walk people through the thoughts one might have when experiencing this wrath of an emotion. My husband has learned the hard way, that I actually become hulk-like in my hangriness and it should be avoided at all costs. Those who think this is nothing more than a dramatic response to being overly hungry have clearly never experienced it. There is no controlling the power of this state of hungriness.

Sadly, I experience this more often than I should. Part of what makes one so angry, is that their hunger could have possibly been avoided if precautions had been taken. For example, I make the moronic decision to go to church without eating breakfast (and I eat breakfast every other day of the week, so clearly, I wake up dumb on Sundays). Because of this rash decision, my mind trails off during worship and I think of nearby restaurants for much longer than is acceptable. Then, as my stomach groans on during the service, my dear husband can see/hear the hangriness building inside me and we usually make a sprint after the service to get me in the car before I start gnawing on people's arms (he's usually hangry too, so it's not just me). Really, if I would just remember to eat something before leaving the house, much could be avoided. Alas, I never learn.

Thoughts while hangry:

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Is that a headache?
Oh no. My stomach just growled. Or, it's about to. I can feel it.
Yep. That's a growl.
When is the soonest I can get to food?
I have to wait at least and hour and a half??
It's okay. Just don't think about it.

...ugh. Hungry hungry hippo right now.
...okay, to save time, I should decide where to eat now.
I could literally eat anything right now.
Just something to make my hunger staaahhhppp.
McDonalds? No. Too fast-foody.
Subway? Ick, their bread.
Jimmy Johns? That's always the emergency choice.
Pizza? Too early. This day doesn't seem like a pizza day. Plus it'll take too long to bake.
BBQ? Not in the mooooodddd
Nothing fried...
Not pancakes... too heavy.
Sit down restaurant? And wait longer? I think not.
What in the world is fast and delicious and not too unhealthy and really close??
A grocery store? Too many choices. It'll take too long to decide.
Do I want breakfast or lunch?

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?!

Okay, we're on thin ice, here.
Nothing sounds good anymore.
Yep, I've reached hangry levels, now.
I can't think of one food that sounds good.
If I order a waffle I'll want an egg, but I don't want both.
Should I eat something with fruit? Or will I just wish I had gotten fried chicken?
I'm worried about food regrets. This is a serious decision.
Okay, even if I waited for pizza I have no idea what toppings to even get.
Maybe I should choose a specific cuisine.
Chinese = food coma
Mexican = gas
American = greasy rock in your stomach
Indian .... mayyyybe?
Mmm naan.
Only from that one place though.
UGH IT'S SO FAR.
Maybe we could order ahead... but could we still eat it there?
Wait though, I haven't decided if I want coffee.
If I want coffee, then we need to have breakfast foods.

THIS IS A DISASTER.

Is that Indian place even going to be open today?
No. I need to start over.
Coffee means breakfast-y foods.
Breakfast sandwich? Eggs, bacon, waffles, and everything? Oh, I would want hash browns then. Hash browns instead of eggs? What if fruit on my waffles costs extra?
Okay, screw the healthy choices. This is a matter of life or starving.
I feel like I need something crunchy too.
Would I want something for dessert?
I'll just have someone else decide.

***someone else decides***

(internally) Noooooo anything but that... UGHHHH FINE. I have no choice now.

***Arrive. Look at menu for ages. Bounce between four options. Not loving any of them***
***Order. Wait for what seems like an hour.***

FINALLY FOOD.
***Start inhaling food***

***Doesn't finish food, but feels stuffed***

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It's a never ending internal battle. Although, sometimes it's external (sorry Tom). Either way, it is a dangerous road to go down. I happen to be writing this during a serious lifestyle change in my eating habits, so my hangriness has been rather vocal lately. Pray for me and the well-being of my husband (hahaha).

Hangry sufferers? For the sake of those you love, carry some snacks. Or for goodness sake at least eat breakfast. Hangry sufferers UNITE!

(I really hope you're catching my sarcasm in this post. But it's like that half kidding/half serious kind of thing. Being hangry is not funny. But it kind of is.... in retrospect)

25 Is The New 12

I am not easily offended. At all. I grew up in a family where teasing showed love, and jokes went much further than they ever should have. Inevitably, feelings would get hurt because a joke crossed the line... but over the years, that line has drifted further and further away to the point where I no longer get offended by anything. I have mastered the art of brushing things off and taking it with a grain of salt that people sometimes say the wrong thing... no big deal.

However, in the last year, Tom and I have been asked a particular question on more than one occasion that I find incredibly poor taste. In fact, it's offensive.

"So... what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Okay, on the surface, it seems like a harmless question.
But... how are we supposed to answer that?
"Well, mister, I guess once I learn how to pee-pee on the potty, I'll try to figure that out next!"
"Gee, that's a tough one, because I just learned to color INSIDE the lines!"

I know, I'm being facetious. Really though... why would you ask a 25 year-old, married ADULT that question??

I just cannot wrap my head around it. Is it because the people asking it are older than us, so anyone younger than them is clearly juvenile? Do you want to know my "dream job?" I guess I can't figure out why I get asked the same question that Kindergarten teachers have their students draw a picture of, and hang up on a bulletin board. Frankly, I wouldn't even ask that question of a college student because they are studying a specific field for their careers... they know what they want to "be when they grow up" because they are working on it.

Each time this question has come up, it's left both of us taken-aback. As if we have to somehow explain or prove that we are, in fact, adults. Or like we are still trying to navigate the big scary world and everything is unknown. Just picture for a moment how you would answer that if someone you hardly know asked it. Every time, Tom or I have simply stuttered out "Ummm.. what I'm doing currently...?"  It's really awkward. 

Let me lay this out for you...

We are 25.
We both have Bachelor Degrees.
We have been working in our specified careers for 3+ years.
We are married.
We just bought a house.
We have two cars.
We have lived outside our parents' homes since age 18.
We've moved across the country (unchaperoned! gasp!)
We have been paying our own bills for a lonnnggg time.
...and the next step in our life is probably having babies.

So, again, what about that is not "grown up?" 
I know I'm beginning to rant, but I hate that I feel as though I need to defend my adult-ness. That's why that question upsets me so much... it invokes a reaction to defend. As if all we've worked for and accomplished in 25 years is minuscule. Sure, when I'm forty, twenty-five will seem pretty "baby," but I hope that I can read over this post in 15 years and remember that in many ways, it's not.

True, we have less experiences than our parents and those with children. That is definitely going to be a learning curve and will involve another stage of "growing up," and I get that. We gladly look up to our parents and older siblings with a sense of respect and admiration, knowing they have grown up and done well for themselves.  Though we're younger than our parents and siblings, they still wouldn't ask what we want to be when we grow up, because they've watched it happen! So when strangers ask it, it's very startling. 

Anyways...

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you think it's a rude question? Or do you feel like it's justifiable?

My Most Embarrassing Moments

Yes.
I'm going there.

First though, I must say, I have an amazing tendency to rarely get embarrassed. Maybe it's because my parents taught me that it's okay to be dorky. That letting your freak flag fly will gain you confidence, memories, and a tough skin. Social faux pas and inevitably saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is just a fact of life. Honestly, I think I probably do things every day that the average person would find embarrassing, but I find normal... so I'm kind of digging for gold here!

If you're having "one of those days" (or just the Monday blues) read below and maybe you'll feel a little better that you aren't as awkward as me. 

The very first embarrassing memory I could think of obviously has to do with puberty. I was 12 years old and it was my first singing solo. To give myself some credit, I have a good singing voice and I certainly deserved the solo... unfortunately I was really pudgy and unpopular and had no confidence (haha it's okay, I blossomed later). So I practiced that four-line solo day in, and day out for weeks. It was half a verse from America the Beautiful (easiest song in the world). When my moment finally came, I was in front of 600 people. I squeaked out the first line....... and then totally blanked... but somehow picked it up on the last line. It was soooo mortifying for my sensitive 12 year old soul!

When Tom and I were engaged, we were taking a little stroll through Target one day.. nothing unusual. I was wearing tights and a cute dress and had a crossover bag resting on my hip. As we were walking down that front, main aisle of Target (you know what I mean), a man RUNS up to me and frantically taps my shoulder and goes "MISS, YOUR DRESS IS UP." Sure enough, my purse had caused a chaffing effect against my dress/tights and my dress had ridden wayyyy up and everyone could basically see my entire behind. I thought this was hilarious and I quickly pulled it down but started laughing as I thanked the man, but he definitely didn't laugh along *awkward* and just kind of bowed out. Whoops!!

Sadly, I have had many wardrobe malfunctions. I got these $6 heels from Target that I couldn't pass up, but in retrospect, I realize it would have been in my best interests to have let them cause someone else the embarrassment of wearing them. How do I say this... ummm... they were very, VERY high.. platformed, and sparkly. For lack of better phrasing, they looked like they belonged on a street corner. Even worse, I decided to make their maiden voyage a trip to CHURCH (let's just say, college fashion was hit or miss). Tom and I were dating, and as we were on the sidewalk to the building, I mentioned how hard they were to walk in. Seconds later, I was on the ground, bleeding from my shins, and laughing. It wouldn't have been so bad but I was also wearing a short dress and some elderly folks had been walking towards us and probably got an eye-full... Lord have mercy. Needless to say, those shoes went straight into a Goodwill pile after that :)

Here's a two-fer.
1) My tire pressure got down to 8 PSI (normal is like 36 PSI) and I didn't even notice. Basically, I had a flat tire and somehow didn't know.
2) Because of that, my hubcap fell off. However, I was SURE it fell off at this particular intersection (#vibes) where a fire station was. So one day, I walked into the fire station and a few of the men came up to the desk.
ME: Hey, I know this is really random, but my hubcap fell off and I feel like it was outside at this intersection. Did anyone find it and turn it in by chance?
FIREMAN: Was is silver??
ME: YES! OMG!!!
FIREMAN: ...nope... haven't seen it ***laughter from all the firefighters... okay.. and me***

Watch this, which is basically always me in wedges on grass:

Dear Tween Girl,

Dear Tween Girl,

Slow down.

Please stop growing up so fast.

I see you coming home from school, walking to your apartment just down the drive from mine. I see you with all that mascara and your hair perfectly curled or flat-ironed. I see you with your phone out, taking pictures of your friends and perfecting your selfies. I see your cute, grown-up looking clothes and how your outfits look more grown up than mine sometimes. I see you flirting with the boys who walk with you and remember those silly hormones that make you so giddy, that even walking with those boys makes your heart flutter.

But just hold up.

I see that you’re merely eleven or twelve. I can tell because I’ve heard you push your girlfriends and exclaim, “No way! He’s in 8th grade! He’s too much older!” when I’m checking my mail and you pass by.

Sweet girl, you are lovely. If you had been born in my generation, your clothes would be ill fitting and covered in glitter. You and all your friends would be getting braces soon and have them into high school, instead of getting them when you’re eight… how lucky you are! Your makeup would consist of bright blue eyeshadow and some Smackers. Maybe if you were lucky your mom would let you try a super basic mascara that wouldn’t last the day. Perhaps a concealer stick too. The trends would include basic Adidas shoes and sporty headbands across your slicked back ponytail.

You would still look like a little girl.

Mom could still cuddle with you and take you out for an ice cream treat. You wouldn’t take photos of all the moments you see and experience and you would instead capture them in your memories. Sleepovers would be time spent with girlfriends talking about crushes… not looking up any and all pictures of your favorite boy bands with their shirts off and texting the crushes at school. Sleepovers meant baking cookies, drinking soda late at night, and listening to the latest Now CD. We would watch movies that our parents thought were appropriate, but until we were in 7th or 8th grade couldn’t go to the theater by ourselves. Sometimes parents would even call other parents wanting to know what the girls would be watching at a sleepover, just in case the movie didn’t correlate with what a parent thought was appropriate.

Maybe so much of that is still the same. And for your sweet, innocent soul, I hope that it is. Please be careful with your phone, darling girl. There are things you can find, even by accident, that you will never unsee and words and phrases you don’t understand the horrible meanings of. There are people out there that want your naivety to drag you into an online world that will bring a world of hurt later on. People you follow believing they are your peer, may be a shadow of a predator behind a veiled screen. Sweet, sweet girl, those pictures you see in your social feeds of women’s bodies in bikinis and short skirts and low shirts are not #goals. Those images objectify the persona of what a woman… or man… should be today. Your body is a temple. It is for you to love, keep safe, healthy, and innocent until someday a man sees your lovely soul and loves your body the way God intended it to be loved. Despite what clothes you wear and how much makeup you apply, your body is not an object. It carries your laugh and your father’s eyes and your mother’s nose.

Sweet girl, I don’t have any children yet, but I want my girls to walk home from school and look at the world around them. When they walk through the door, I want them to tell me about their day, all the good and bad while sharing a snack, before they spend the time before dinner on their phones. I know they’ll have phones, but maybe I feel selfish about the time I hope to spend with them. Before they fall asleep I want my face and voice to be the last thing they see and hear, not the sound of a Youtube video or a text from a boy at school. I want to know they’re reading the books I once read at their age and hear them tell me their favorite parts. Maybe I don’t know a thing about what you do and I assume too much. Perhaps your dad puts your phone away until the next morning. But darling darling girl, remember to guard your heart and mind. Right now you will be so influenced by what you say, hear, see and do. Even without the feeds of women’s bodies on display, I managed to feel inadequate at your age, sometimes… I can’t imagine what those images do today!

Wash your makeup off, put on your jammies, sing into a hair brush, curl up next to dad, and stay young. You can share clothes with mom or sister when you’re in high school… but for now, sweet girl, stay a little girl because so very, very soon you will be grown up, wishing that you had snuggled your dad and made memories of talking after school instead of swiping through posts and news and photos. Tell your friends in person how much you love them or how pretty they looked in their selfie. Life is made up of moments, but please sweet girl, let those moments be seen apart from your screen, because your soul is so much prettier to listen to in person and laugh with in the car than any screen could ever do justice.

With love.