How do you speak to yourself?
A while back, I gave you a thought provoking question which you can read here.
So how about this one?
"If you had a friend that you spoke to the same way you speak to yourself, how long do you think that person would allow you to be their friend?"
Are you hard on yourself? So many times, we are our own worst critics. Maybe it sounds like this:
- My arms aren't skinny enough.
- My thighs are too big.
- I wish I could run for longer.
- I wish my hair looked like so and so's.
- I don't work hard enough.
- I don't know enough about this.
- I'm not as talented as he is.
- I feel worthless.
So turn those statements around as if you're telling them to a friend:
- Your arms aren't skinny enough.
- Your thighs are too big.
- Too bad you can't run for longer.
- I bet you wish your hair looked like so and so's.
- You don't work hard enough.
- You don't know enough about that.
- You're not as talented as he is.
- I think you're worthless.
I don't want to be their friend.
Sadly, I'm guilty of speaking to myself like that - why would I be such a crappy friend to myself? I think most of us tend to simply do this on autopilot. You could be an ultra confident person, but still find yourself berating your own person here and there. Even those little criticisms, though, will build up over time. You suddenly find that you're comparing yourself to your friends... or even strangers. How damaging over time! Just as that question asks, how long would you be friends with someone who spoke to you like that? Not very long, huh?
Keep that question in your mind the next time you look in the mirror and find that your roots have grown out. Or when you're at your job and cannot seem to get a promotion no matter how hard you work, leaving you feeling worthless. Or when you get lapped on the trail by a guy twice your age.
Stop self-degrading, and instead, remember this: