My Most Embarrassing Moments

I'm going there.

First though, I must say, I have an amazing tendency to rarely get embarrassed. Maybe it's because my parents taught me that it's okay to be dorky. That letting your freak flag fly will gain you confidence, memories, and a tough skin. Social faux pas and inevitably saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is just a fact of life. Honestly, I think I probably do things every day that the average person would find embarrassing, but I find normal... so I'm kind of digging for gold here!

If you're having "one of those days" (or just the Monday blues) read below and maybe you'll feel a little better that you aren't as awkward as me. 

The very first embarrassing memory I could think of obviously has to do with puberty. I was 12 years old and it was my first singing solo. To give myself some credit, I have a good singing voice and I certainly deserved the solo... unfortunately I was really pudgy and unpopular and had no confidence (haha it's okay, I blossomed later). So I practiced that four-line solo day in, and day out for weeks. It was half a verse from America the Beautiful (easiest song in the world). When my moment finally came, I was in front of 600 people. I squeaked out the first line....... and then totally blanked... but somehow picked it up on the last line. It was soooo mortifying for my sensitive 12 year old soul!

When Tom and I were engaged, we were taking a little stroll through Target one day.. nothing unusual. I was wearing tights and a cute dress and had a crossover bag resting on my hip. As we were walking down that front, main aisle of Target (you know what I mean), a man RUNS up to me and frantically taps my shoulder and goes "MISS, YOUR DRESS IS UP." Sure enough, my purse had caused a chaffing effect against my dress/tights and my dress had ridden wayyyy up and everyone could basically see my entire behind. I thought this was hilarious and I quickly pulled it down but started laughing as I thanked the man, but he definitely didn't laugh along *awkward* and just kind of bowed out. Whoops!!

Sadly, I have had many wardrobe malfunctions. I got these $6 heels from Target that I couldn't pass up, but in retrospect, I realize it would have been in my best interests to have let them cause someone else the embarrassment of wearing them. How do I say this... ummm... they were very, VERY high.. platformed, and sparkly. For lack of better phrasing, they looked like they belonged on a street corner. Even worse, I decided to make their maiden voyage a trip to CHURCH (let's just say, college fashion was hit or miss). Tom and I were dating, and as we were on the sidewalk to the building, I mentioned how hard they were to walk in. Seconds later, I was on the ground, bleeding from my shins, and laughing. It wouldn't have been so bad but I was also wearing a short dress and some elderly folks had been walking towards us and probably got an eye-full... Lord have mercy. Needless to say, those shoes went straight into a Goodwill pile after that :)

Here's a two-fer.
1) My tire pressure got down to 8 PSI (normal is like 36 PSI) and I didn't even notice. Basically, I had a flat tire and somehow didn't know.
2) Because of that, my hubcap fell off. However, I was SURE it fell off at this particular intersection (#vibes) where a fire station was. So one day, I walked into the fire station and a few of the men came up to the desk.
ME: Hey, I know this is really random, but my hubcap fell off and I feel like it was outside at this intersection. Did anyone find it and turn it in by chance?
FIREMAN: Was is silver??
FIREMAN: ...nope... haven't seen it ***laughter from all the firefighters... okay.. and me***

Watch this, which is basically always me in wedges on grass:

LifeJoy Johnson