Ike's Birth Story
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless!
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless! Oh how blissful your birth was (well… maybe not while I labored haha) and how happy we were for your safe entrance into the world! Amidst a pandemic, no doubt. Here’s the story…
Two days before - my 31st birthday
WEDNESDAY 9/16:
I had just hit 37 weeks the day before, and for my birthday your dad took the day off and we went out for lunch to a Mexican restaurant because I wanted queso and a fish taco. We took Silas to a park in the morning, had our tacos, daddy and Silas brought me flowers in the afternoon, we had ice cream cake after dinner (Silas started saying “Happy Mama!”) which we shared with our neighbors, and that night your daddy gave me the sweetest spa night with a full pedicure and back massage while we watched Harry Potter. Nashville was still hot, but fall weather was just days away and I couldn’t wait for my last weeks of pregnancy to be spent outside playing with Silas more comfortably.
THURSDAY 9/17:
It was a normal day. Silas and I played in the yard and pool, and late that night I insisted dada should pack his hospital bag. My instincts must have kicked in because… well… come the middle of the night, he’d be needing that bag! At one point that day, part of my mucous plug had come out, but I hoped I still had a few more days.
At Home
Friday 9/18 - 1:15AM
I was fast asleep, when I woke to what felt like you had punched me, followed by a little pop sensation. I reached down, thinking I was dreaming that my water had broken (wouldn’t have been the first dream like that). My underwear were wet.
”Am I peeing? It that actually wet?”
Shook my head awake.
”OH that’s my water!”
“Tom! …… TOM!!! My water broke!!!”
Dad leapt out of bed while I instructed him to please hurry and grab towels before it got all over the bed… “BUT NOT THOSE TOWELS!”
I leapt up too and pushed him out of my way in the bathroom so I could get to the toilet where my water gushed out and I started to cry a little bit.
I didn’t feel ready! My friend was supposed to come watch Silas, but this was the ONE weekend she couldn’t. Thankfully we had our amazing neighbors backing her up. My parents weren’t here! My hopes for a successful VBAC relied partly on my water not breaking first so my labor would be a bit less intense, and now that aspect was out the window and I knew my labor would probably be more intense. Dada looked me in the eyes, in the dimly lit bedroom and smiled and reminded me what was coming… YOU! I smiled, bucked up, and called my mom.
2AM
On the left - how long the contraction lasted
On the right - time between contractions
Contractions started.
By now I had called my OB and was told to go in when I was 5 minutes apart (haha I was basically already at that point, but I wanted to labor at home where I was more comfortable). I also called our doula and was keeping her updated on things and getting ideas from her on coping. As they started to get more intense, I was focusing well on my breathing, but every contraction was only in my back. GAH! Another back-labor baby! Was he face-up like his brother was?? Again?! I tried to lay back down and sleep, but that made everything feel WAY worse.
I decided to try standing in the shower for relief. Thus far, the only comfortable spot had been the edge of our bed with a heating pad behind me, but I wanted to get him to turn around if he was face up. Once in the shower (couldn’t do the tub since my water had broken), things ramped up FAST. I told Tom to call Vicki (doula) and have her come right away. I was beginning to vocalize and it had only been a couple hours since my water broke.
Once she arrived, we all talked between contractions and kept things calm. We had some toast and tea and we tried some other positions but they were not helping much, or were making the contractions even more intense. By 6AM we all decided it was time to head to the hospital. Tom called up our neighbor around the time Silas woke up.
The hospital
6:15AM
As I started to shuffle out the door, I went to give Silas one more squeeze goodbye as my only child. He hugged me and said, “bebe out!” and continued reading books with our sweet neighbor. It was just a precious moment that I’m glad I made note of. Also, the MOST grateful to our two sets of neighbors who jumped in to watch Silas before my parents could be there. We are insanely blessed to have them!
6:40AM
At my 37 week appointment, I was -4 station (meaning, baby was basically still floating above my pelvis). My first check at the hospital, I was -3 station and barely dilated at all. I cant remember what it was initially - maybe 1cm or 3cm? Either way, it was very discouraging based on the intensity and frequency of my contractions. But I soldiered on!
7-10:30AM
Now in a delivery room, they needed to put me on a monitor and insert a hep line. Neither of these things went smoothly, and I had to be lying down in a bed for both which was excruciating for my back labor. We tried a wireless monitor (didn’t work). The regular monitors were being spotty, too. As for the hep line? Oh geez. Two nurses each tried twice, followed by THREE different anesthesiologists. No one could get a vein to work! This had never happened to me before! I was probably dehydrated or it was my hormones, but my veins just kept collapsing. One of the nurses joked that it was probably humbling for those anesthesiologists - haha! This was all going on as I was lying in bed dying to get up. By now, I had asked for an epidural because I was exhausted and needed a break from the close, long contractions that were now peaking TWICE within a single contraction.
As I waited for an epidural my doctor (a welcome (masked) face and voice to see and hear) came in to see what was happening. She looked at my contraction pattern, baby’s decelerations with each contraction, and after doing a pelvic exam (-2 station, 3cm dilated WAAAHHH!!), gave it to me straight… we needed to move to a C-section. She was direct, but caring. I knew she was right. And she was a little concerned about possible rupture based on my contraction pattern.
This did mean I wouldn’t be getting an epidural, but a spinal instead, so more waiting for relief as that would be done once in the O.R.
This felt like agessss. For 8 hours I had labored unmedicated with purely back labor with contractions about every 3 minutes apart for over a minute each. Oh, they still didn’t have a working hep line on me, so that poking continued into the operating room. Once they DID finally get one, it pooled up on my wrist halfway through surgery - haha I honestly started feeling bad for all these poor professionals after a while!
Once in the operating room, they waited as I got through more long contractions, then started a spinal. Very quickly, I felt the effects of the spinal and it was AMAZING! No drowsiness like I had after being on an epidural for hours. I felt so present and awake this time versus with Silas, where I wanted to sleep through the entire thing. The surgery itself was a bit longer (which is normal for repeat C’s), but somehow less nerve-wracking as I was so aware of everything, and everyone was talking, and the whole room felt so calm and comfortable. I got to converse with my doctor during it and that was so neat. I reminded her that I was supposed to have a growth scan at my 38 week appointment next week and we laughed over that not happening now!
The big moment…
When they reached you, Ike, they lifted a clear drape and dada and I got to watch as you were born! They brought you up to the drape and I was able to touch your warm head and talk to you as they let you get that cord blood for a while. You quieted as you listened to me welcome you into the world. It was the most joyous, beautiful moment and it felt incredible to feel more a part of that even in surgery. They took you to do their checks, then dada got to hold you as they finished my surgery and redid my awful hep line situation. Before I was wheeled out, they placed you on my chest and I didn’t put you down for hours :) In the immediate recovery room, I was able to nurse you for the first time and you were a little pro! You took to it so quickly and I was so proud of us both.
As we soaked in your newness, it was so special to see how you resembled your brother, yet how uniquely-made you were. You were a full pound smaller than Silas was, and we couldn’t believe you could be so tiny and perfect. Your hair was dark, and soft, and your fingers so long and new. Seeing a brand new baby, is the most surreal moment in the world and I love it so much. Oh Ike Wilder, we are so blessed to be your parents and so overjoyed at your entrance into the world. You are my beautiful boy and are already such a perfect addition to our little family and so loved by your big brother (and Hondo)! We thank God for the gift of you, precious boy - we love you so, Ike!
A few notes about this birth…
So essentially, this birth went EXACTLY how Silas’ birth went. To a T! Same issues with engagement, slow progression, back labor (Ike was face down, even!), fetal distress, spontaneous water breaking, etc… even though we did SO many things differently this time around.
Birth is such a wild thing and different for every woman and child. This one at least went much quicker (though without an epidural, it sure FELT longer haha), but in briefly talking with my doctor after surgery and with our doula a couple weeks postpartum, we think there must be something with my anatomy (perhaps the size or shape of my pelvis) that just won’t allow my babies to engage. And because my waters break before I start labor, my babies lose their cushion during those harsh contractions and become very distressed and have trouble moving down. Of course, as this was a VBAC, there were other variables and risks we had to be wary of, too.
I’m grateful, too, that my recovery has been much easier this time around and I knew how important rest is for that. We only had to stay in the hospital two days which was amazing! Covid, of course, made some aspects a pain. It was annoying wearing a mask when we first met our baby and not being able to feel his cheek against mine and take in the smell of his new skin right away, but I can’t say we felt unsafe. We had to stay in our room, but Tom was able to leave once a day and get us food. In fact, he spent the first night at home while I sent Ike to the nursery between feeds so I could rest.
Overall, I don’t mourn my previous C-section, nor do I mourn this one. I have always held much more strongly to my babies and myself coming out of birth safe and healthy, so to me, that IS my “ideal birth.” I feel so at peace knowing I did everything in my power to have a successful VBAC, so to me, there was no failure in my birth and I can simply shrug it off and know it was going to happen this way regardless. It was just not meant to be! We had such an awesome support system and I felt so able to advocate for myself - and if I couldn’t I had Tom and Vicki to speak up as well. I truly look at this birth with such immense pride and joy, and seeing my growing, healthy boy is the greatest gift!
Third Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Well hello, third trimester my old …friend?…
Sheesh, when I hit the third tri, I hit it HARD. For the first half of this trimester…
Well hello, third trimester my old …friend?…
Sheesh, when I hit the third tri, I hit it HARD. For the first half of this trimester, this kiddo was extremely low and squashing my pelvic floor like crazy. But more on all the details in a minute.
Symptoms
Body aches - woof the aches and pains with this pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks! Partly from running (waddling) after my 2 year old, partly from the hot Tennessee summer, and partly from the fact that I’m huge now. My back, ribs (hello tiny feet!), neck from awkward sleep, and feet from the extra weight are just blah.
Tired - Oh sleep, how I miss you.
Peeing - I know I should be drinking even more water right now, but that feels impossible with how much I’m having to pee as it is!
Weird appetite - I forgot about this one… one second I’m STARVING, the next second I’m stuffed. Also feelin’ that last trimester nausea. Ugh.
Clear skin - don’t mind this one! Glow up!
Braxton Hicks - So many of these every evening for hours on end with a few irregular contractions thrown in for good measure.
My birthday - 2 days before birth!
Third Trimester Journal
Weeks 28-37
Honestly, beyond feeling uncomfortable and huge, this trimester was fast and mostly uneventful, so I’m just gonna breeze over the main points!
I started prenatal chiropractic care this trimester, and that was helpful and really helped me relax my body. This was to help keep baby in optimal position for birth, and he really did stay head down the entire time, so I definitely give chiro care credit for this! I always left with great tips from Dr. Barton on some stretches and movements to do at home to help me along and they were so helpful. I had started getting sciatic pain, and I was always able to relieve it quickly with a few movements I had learned from her. That said, sleeping on my side was forever uncomfortable and it seemed that no matter how I tried to adjust myself, it never mattered and I woke up feeling crooked - haha - but not everything will be completely ideal in pregnancy, so oh well.
One odd thing for me this pregnancy was feeling this baby SO LOW for ages and ages, until near the end when he seemed to float up and the pelvic pressure I had felt for weeks and weeks just disappeared. More on that in my birth story, but that was frustrating in terms of my hopes for a VBAC.
At my 36 week OB appointment, I was 50% effaced and 1/2cm dilated. At my 37 week appointment, I was 70-80% effaced and still 1/2cm dilated. About two days later, my water broke. Actually, if you read back on my second trimester I had had a dream that my water broke in the middle of the night but I had actually peed myself hahaha… WELL this time, I woke up thinking I was peeing, and my water had DEFINITELY broken! More on that in my birth story, of course :)
Stayed tuned - birth story to come! (When I have another chance between feeding and caring for my toddler)
Second Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Oh how I love the second trimester! I know some poor mamas do not get a break from the woes of the first trimester and sheesh - hats off to them. That would be miserable! I was worried that would be the case for me as my first trimester…
Oh how I love the second trimester! I know some poor mamas do not get a break from the woes of the first trimester and sheesh - hats off to them. That would be miserable! I was worried that would be the case for me as my first trimester this time was just awful, but thankfully things cleared up and I have felt pretty good ever since. I’ll go into more detail below…
Symtoms
Nausea gone - I slowly weaned off of the Unisom+B6 combo around 15 weeks and even though I had a couple bouts of severe nausea, it ended up being fine!
Boobies - I had super leaky boobs with Silas, and these took a while, but it’s back this time too (nearer to the end of this trimester)
Round ligament pain - The usual! I think I do get a bit paranoid having an incision right around where round ligament pain happens, but I’m remembering more and more that it’s normal and there’s nothing to worry about.
Thick hair - finally! I was waiting for this one.
Emo - I definitely feel a lot more hormonal in the second trimester versus the first. All the cheesy things make me cry and if Tom says something even slightly off-key I’m a crying mess hahaha it always makes me laugh a little because I can literally feel how hormonal I’m being IN the moment.
Extreme hunger - so.hungry.
Back pain - sciatica pain from baby positions and just generally feeling that belly growing!
Clear skin - love this part of pregnancy.
Pee all the time - just like with Silas, this is my most complained about and most hated “symptom.” Having to pee SO BAD and nothing but a trickle comes out is the WORST feeling. And then needing to do it all again 10 minutes later (because I drink water like crazy). Ugh. Not sorry for complaining about this. Nightly bathroom trips. Bladder kicks that seriously kind of hurt. Gahhh.
Leg cramps - This was a new one - it’s happened maybe three or four times and means I probably need more magnesium or potassium. Someone told me to flex my foot the opposite way I normally would during a cramp, and it literally goes away immediately!
Cravings
Meh, nothing much. Milk is a big one that I had with Silas and I have had it this time too, but I can’t say it’s very extreme like it was last time. I will say I have a lot of texture aversions this time around which is unfortunate. Pastas of all kinds, lettuce??, and just random ones that crop up out of nowhere.
Second Trimester Journal
Weeks 13-18
During week 16 I started getting sciatica pain. I’m sure it’s always based on baby’s position, because it usually goes away on its own or after a good walk, but yikes is it painful when it’s around. Week 16 is also when I FINALLY felt movement for the first time. But only in very specific positions. Come to find out I have an anterior placenta so that explains that! Week 18 is when I felt movement more regularly. Past week 18, I have actually felt this baby a LOT and he is WAY more active than his brother was in utero… which is fun and also scary that I’m gonna have a wild-child OUTSIDE the womb haha :)
Weeks 19-27
The 20 week scan! Because of COVID-19, Tom couldn’t come along, so we did a video call during the ultrasound. We asked her to write down the gender so we could open it together at home, but I stupidly thought she was done looking for the gender because she moved the probe thing… and when I looked up she was typing “boy” on the screen. Haha! I texted Tom afterwards that I had accidentally seen. And in a weird way, it was sort of nice to process that information alone for a bit (because we were sure it was a girl and really excited about that). But once I had a bit, I got really excited and happy about another boy! Brother besties :) Tom opened the envelope at home and it was still really special. And everything looked great! Healthy baby boy.
At 21 weeks he became a crazy moving MACHINE and hasn’t slowed down since.
24 weeks was my first in person regular appointment in the office. Up until that point it was all tele-med visits. Thankfully I already owned a scale and blood pressure monitor (and a heartbeat doppler because Tom was bummed to never get to hear those in person), so my phone visits were pretty straightforward and normal. But oh man - haha - so awkward trying to find the heartbeat while my poor OB listened to me taking forever!
We met our doula and her backup during this time and it was great and we all clicked so nicely. She has already been an awesome support and I’m so glad we hired her for her expertise with this VBAC attempt.
I had a dream that my water broke and that I peed. And I woke up from it kind of thinking my water broke. Nope. Peed my underwear a bit and had to change them in the middle of the night… hahahaha this is still making me laugh. So weird and hilarious.
And lastly, I had my 1-hour glucose test on week 27 and failed by two points. So I went in for the dreaded 3-hour test and thankfully passed on all four blood draws! That said, I’ll be adding in more exercise and less sweets/simple carbs to make sure I’m keeping healthy! Hard when you’re an avid baker... but I can do it!
So there you have it - the second trimester with baby #2. I still think of the mamas in the trenches of loss and infertility so often. The dads too. And I keep them in my prayers. Pregnancy and the miracle to be able to carry life is never lost on me. It’s not something I take for granted (though I’m sure I have my moments). So here I am, just immensely grateful to carry this sweet boy around, even on the hard days or the days when my two year old is a ball of emotions and defiance. And I hope and pray for all the mamas who are hurting and hoping day after day after week after week after year…
I’m looking forward to this final trimester and all the nesting involved and preparing for a VBAC attempt. We have a double stroller all ordered, and now I’m trying to decide how many of the new products that came out in the last two years need to land in my online shopping cart! Who knows… but if anyone has some good products to check out, let me know! Always fun to look anyway, while we’re all still holed up at home.
(I’m typing this from our “vacation week” that has not felt like a vacation in the least but we’re making the best of it).
Also, how are my other pandemic pregnancy mamas doing? How was it giving birth during this (if you delivered recently)? How have you been doing emotionally or mentally? I’m not an anxious wreck of a person like I was when we lived in Georgia, but I’ve definitely had some moments that have made me really sad to be pregnant during this time. I’m sure it depends on where you live, but Tennessee has been crazy and I just wanna give birth without a mask! But all will be well <3 I’m focusing on the positive and have actually been doing just fine over here in our compound - haha!
First Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Well hello, old friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve dusted off my editing page on here, and the familiarity of it all sure feels nice to come back to. If you don’t follow me on social media, you wouldn’t have heard the news, but as you can see… we’re expecting our second child!
Well hello, old friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve dusted off my editing page on here, and the familiarity of it all sure feels nice to come back to.
If you don’t follow me on social media, you wouldn’t have heard the news, but as you can see… we’re expecting our second child! We’re so very excited and feel extremely blessed to be welcoming this new baby in early October. I made mention of this on Instagram, but I’m not going to be sharing the infertility aspect this time around. It still took us a while, but I’m not going into detail… UNLESS you honestly are curious! I really am an open book, but just feel like by now, you know we have fertility struggles, so if you want the deets on this time around, don’t hesitate to ask. Even if you’re just feeling nosey! I really don’t mind and always feel like sharing these topics helps to normalize the conversations surrounding them.
Anyway, I guess I just sort of decided, why not document this pregnancy too? I’ve found myself looking back at my recaps of my last pregnancy to see what things lined up and so on or to remind myself what to expect. I’ll use the same format as before, so here we go…!
Symptoms
Nausea - oh boy did this hit me like a ton of bricks right off the bat. I was puking every day (sometimes multiple times!) until i started taking a combo of Unisom + B6 around week 7 or 8. The nausea didn’t disappear, but it did tame my puking which I so desperately needed. Though I did learn walking and eating for some reason really set me off. Once while chewing a bite of pbj, I gagged a little too hard, and THANKFULLY Tom scattered barf bags all around the house because I snagged one in the dining room and lost it right there. Haha.. definitely funny in retrospect!
Tired - there is nothing quite like first trimester exhaustion!
Sore boobies - I miss laying on my belly to sleep haha
Metallic taste - this was new and bleck!
Food aversions - it seemed like they’ve been a lot stronger this pregnancy. Almost NOTHING sounded good for the first mannnnnyyy weeks. Maybe until week 11? I mostly ate fruit, drank juice or chocolate soy milk, ate granola bars, and sometimes potatoes or eggs. So. much. gagging. Also lots of crying at the dinner table when I couldn’t stand to eat anything on my plate but was so hungry.
Sensitive to smells - oh the joys of dog food, poopy diapers, coffee, and the trash can.
Crampy - just occasionally. I remember feeling more cramping in the first trimester with Silas.
Spotting - this was a new one and a bit scary. I spotted in the 6th week and the 9th week. Thankfully it resolved and didn’t get serious, but I didn’t experience that with Silas, so I had an ultrasound right at 7 weeks to check things out. All was fine.
Emotional - hello hormones! All the cheesy things make me cry. Also a little more moody this time around. Had a harder time being excited and honestly felt sort of depressed for most of the trimester.
Acne - ugh such a bummer
Vivid dreams - I love this part of pregnancy. Such weird, insanely vivid dreams!
Cravings
Nothing I craved - just finally a break in the food aversions and something would sound good. Once it was my mom’s pot roast and potatoes (they were in town), and puddings and ice cream hahaha
First Trimester Journal
Weeks 4-8
I found out about this pregnancy REALLY early. I went in for confirmation bloodwork on week FOUR. In that bloodwork they check all your hormone levels, and they again put me on a low dose of progesterone to help support the pregnancy (my HCG was perfect, though). I was on it with Silas too. I spotted for a day or two on week 6, and promptly got in for an ultrasound on week 7. Baby was measuring EXACTLY on track based on my dates! It was such a relief to see and hear that tiny heart beating. Tom, unfortunately, was home with Silas so he missed the only ultrasound he could have been to (since Covid-19 restrictions started a few weeks later). They said the spotting likely came from an ovarian cyst that was resolving itself. Tom had a lot of travel during this time - a trip to Idaho, and another just a few days later to DC. This was honestly a lot for me just because of the timing and the intense nausea while taking care of a busy, needy toddler. Cooking food during this time was just horrendous. My parents were planning on stopping back through after spending the winter in Florida, but I called them up, spilled the beans, and asked them to come early and stay while Tom was out of town to keep me company and give me a break from Silas. Thankfully they were happy to oblige and my mom made us some delicious meals. We even snuck in a little date while they were here!
Weeks 9-12
Already started peeing all the time again - including in the night. We brought my lovely pregnancy pillow out of retirement (I cannot for the life of me stay on my side at night), along with all my old maternity clothes that I washed and tried on :) On week 9, I spotted again. It lasted a couple days and I tried not to worry, but it certainly crept in.
Week 10 on the dot, I had my first regular OB visit. Tom came along with Silas and we all got to hear the heart together. Always a relief - especially after spotting the week before. Silas got too squirmy, so the boys left and I got to have a great talk with my OB. She is seriously just the BEST and I’m so incredibly grateful a friend referred me to her when we moved here! The following weeks were more of the same with food aversions and nausea and just trying to survive while taking care of Silas and getting us fed without throwing up. I stopped taking progesterone at 13 weeks, and we announced around this time.
This time around was in many ways the same, but of course, extremely different too (is anyone surprised? Different pregnancy, different baby, etc…). I think the biggest difference this time around was how irritated I felt. Maybe not irritated… but… I can never find the right word or description. I just wasn’t very excited. I was excited, of course, but the overarching feeling I had was frustration. Frustrated that it kept me from being a “good” mom to Silas and we spent too much time watching shows while I was curled up trying not to vomit. Frustrated that I wasn’t grateful enough. Frustrated that I felt like such a shell of myself.
So then on top of all these feelings, Nashville schools were shutting down over illness, so I stayed home to avoid getting whatever everyone else was getting.
Then the horrific tornado ripped through and they asked any extra people to stay off the backed up roads, so I stayed home.
And then Covid-19 hit. And I’ve STAYED HOME. I’ve stayed home for nearly two months by now.
It’s a weird time to be pregnant. We have our anatomy scan in May, and Tom can’t come. It all feels very anticlimactic. Like I got pregnant, and have been home practically ever since. Our church family doesn’t even know! So when we get back to worship, they’ll all be in for an obvious surprise - haha!
Anyway. It feels so much better to be in the second trimester, now. My weird/sad mood has lifted, I’m starting to feel movement, and Silas now sticks his finger in my belly button when I ask him where the baby is (haha it HAS to be directly in my belly button, not just my belly - it kills me hahaha). But he gives the baby kisses already and the thought of him being a big brother is super sweet and exciting. Though also a little sad he won’t be my only baby anymore! He’s such a mama’s boy and he is about to get the shock of his little lifetime!
That’s all for now! See you at the end of next trimester ♥️
The Decision to Stay Home
A while back, someone messaged me asking how we came to our decision to have me be a stay at home mom. She was curious…
A while back, someone messaged me asking how we came to our decision to have me be a stay at home mom. She was curious about my perspective and the pros and cons we weighed. It was a good question, and it made me want to write a little post on it!
To be honest, this one was something we decided on many, many years ago.
I remember it very vividly, actually.
As someone whose mother stayed at home, it was something I really saw the value in and wanted for my own children someday. We all have our own set of convictions, morals, and values, and this was something that fell into my value-set.
I think Tom and I were probably engaged at the time, but it was a topic we hadn’t actually talked about. I remember we were having lunch at Whole Foods in Milwaukee, and were seated by the windows. We were casually talking about our careers and our future, and I honestly wasn’t sure what his view was… so I kind of off-handedly stated something like, “Well, if I stay home with our kids, then yeah.. blah blah..” He stopped, turned, and said, “Well yeah. I definitely want you to stay home with our kids.”
It was such a relief to hear him say that. I figured he probably felt that way (we are very similar and share the same morals and values), but hearing him actually verbalize it, was music to my ears. So honestly, from that moment on, I knew it wouldn’t be a big discussion later on, more than an eventuality.
That being said, there are obviously more parts to consider.
Financially, can we live off of one income? Especially as our budget needs to grow to accommodate a child?
How will our roles in the home shift?
Will this ruin Joy’s chances of re-entering the workforce later on? Will she continue to work from home?
Would the cost of daycare outweigh one of our salaries?
I mean, so many of the questions you ask yourself are very personalized to your own circumstances, so I won’t continue. But especially living in Nashville, where there are daycare waiting lists for 2+ years out, it just made sense for us. More than anything, having me at home was important to us.
Has it had its times when it feels like an overwhelming “giving of oneself” to the point where you find yourself staying up well after the others are in bed, just to have some time to yourself? Yes. It’s easy sometimes, and hard other times. It’s boring some days, and exciting and busy many others. Like literally all things in life, it was simply a matter of personal choice.
More than anything, though, the value in having me at home outweighs all the financial or career-minded aspects. Not everyone is able to stay home because of some of the pros and cons they have to weigh, so I count myself very blessed to be able to do so. It’s not for everyone. It’s not easy, and neither is being a working-mom. We all do our best for our kids and for our marriages, and keeping Christ at the center of our family will always be the most important.
All that to say - I’m staying home with my little boy and we couldn’t be happier with that decision for our family.
A Nostalgic Bathtime Routine
We all have those things that make us nostalgic. They are usually little things that take you right back to a memory. A smell… a song… an item.
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #JohnsonsLovesBaby #ChooseGentle #CollectiveBias
We all have those things that make us nostalgic. They are usually little things that take you right back to a memory. A smell… a song… an item.
One of those things for me, is JOHNSON’S® Baby.
You can pick up ALL your JOHNSON’S® Baby essentials at CVS Pharmacies! Click the image above to shop online or see what your store carries.
I was so excited when I saw the opportunity to work with them and write this post, because their products are the first thing I think of when I think “baby smell.” This brand holds such a sweet place in my heart, and it’s a brand I’m loyal to. In case you hadn’t heard, JOHNSON’S® products are new and improved - inside and out. They nixed 50% of their ingredients, making them simpler and even more gentle than before.
I was the youngest of seven kids, so I don’t necessarily think of JOHNSON’S® Baby when I myself was a child (as I wouldn’t really remember), but I know my mom used it. For me, the nostalgia is attached to when I became an aunt. As the youngest, my older siblings got married and started their families when I was still in grade school. I was only thirteen years old when my first niece came along. I would visit their houses and JOHNSON’S® Baby was there by the sink or tub. They would come visit grandma and grandpa’s house and I would watch my mom bathe her grandbabies in the kitchen sink and watch over her shoulder. I watched her go through the motions with such ease - as if it were just muscle memory. What else was always a part of that process? JOHNSON’S® Baby - particularly their Head-to-Toe wash.
One of the sweetest moments after we brought our son home, was his first sink bath. My parents were here, helping with everything, while I continued to recover. I asked my mom to give Silas his first bath because I wanted her to re-teach me (since it had been years since I really watched her), and he was so little I was nervous! Seeing my mom, the old pro she is, give my baby his first bath using that nostalgic smelling soap was beyond precious. Let me break down how baths work around here...
My mom always encourages sink baths because they’re just the right size for a baby, it saves your back from bending over a tub, and it’s super easy clean-up.
Bring the water to a lukewarm temperature so as not to scald sweet baby skin or frighten them with hot water, and fill the sink with just enough water to comfortably cover them.
Then, she taught me to wrap baby in a thin receiving blanket to keep him contained and give you a better grip as you bathe him.
Slowly lower their wrapped little body into the water, allowing them to adjust to the temperature and feel as you lower.
Unwrap one arm, and gently wash that shoulder, arm, chest, and neck (get in those rolls!) using JOHNSON’S® Head-To-Toe Baby Wash on your fingers. Make it a calm, quiet environment. I typically dim the lights and put on some calming music. Also, I’d just like to mention how awesome it is to have a pump on the bottle. With one arm holding Silas, that little feature makes a huge difference.
Re-wrap that arm, and do the same on the other.
Then move onto the hair, gently massaging the scalp and getting behind those little ears. Rinse gently.
Using a soft washcloth, I wet it and get just a drop of soap lathered in before gently wiping baby’s face, and then going over it once more so as not to leave any soap behind.
Then I move onto those little leg nooks and crannies, private areas, and in between his little toes.
Lastly, I carefully drape his arms over my arm, and get him crouched on his knees while I clean his back and bottom.
He spends a few minutes playing, splashing, and kicking and then I wrap him up in his towel and bring him to the nursery.
This is my favorite part…
On his changing table, I make sure he's nice and dry and we giggle and smile all the while. We get his diaper on and then do a relaxing baby massage using JOHNSON’S® Bedtime Lotion. Again, the smell is just so sweet and calming - it's that perfect baby smell! He happily lets me work from legs, to tummy, arms, and back while we listen to soothing music and smile. This lotion is enhanced with relaxing Naturalcalm aromas to help soothe baby before bed. It’s specially designed for babies who are ready to start sleeping longer.
Finally, I use the JOHNSON’S® COTTONTOUCH™ Newborn Face and Body Lotion on his sweet face and top it all off with some kisses on that baby soft skin.
If you haven't checked out JOHNSON’S® products lately, I encourage you to do so. They are new and improved - inside and out, 100% gentle, free of parabens, phthalates, dye free, sulfate free, and worry free. Even with all their new improvements (50% fewer ingredients!), they still take me back to those little baby days of my nieces and nephews. It’s so precious to use those same products now on my own baby, and it fills me up to see him adore bathtime.
I picked up my JOHNSON’S® products at CVS because it's so convenient. Isn't there always a CVS planted right where you need one?! Right now you can save so much - Buy 1, Get 1 50% on JOHNSON’S® Baby + Spend $20, Get $5 ExtraBucks. You can buy your baby's entire bath time and bedtime hygiene routine and save! Win-win! Plus, I always seem to find something else there that I’m in need of at home, so I’m grateful they also serve as a one stop shop for all sorts of needs! You can check out all their JOHNSON’S® products here: JOHNSON’S® at CVS.
How do you do bathtime at your house? Did your mom/grandma/sister/friend teach you any helpful tips to make the transition from bathtime to bedtime a cinch? Did your mom use JOHNSON’S®? I’d love to hear your stories!
Silas's Birth Story
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
At home
For weeks I kept saying I was going to make all these meals ahead of your birth so we wouldn't have to cook for a long, long time after you arrived. Well, I took my time. It was a tough job, okay? And you were making my body so achey and heavy, and standing in the kitchen did not sound appealing.
But I knew it would be such a nice thing to have on hand so that your dad and I could just focus on getting used to taking care of you and staring at you all day. So when I was 38 weeks pregnant, I started making meals and freezing them.
I was so tired. My back was achey, I was peeing every ten minutes, and my ankles were swollen. When I dropped something, I rarely bothered to pick it up because my belly was so big and cumbersome. And sleep. What sleep? It seemed to have vanished!
When I was 39 weeks and one day, on a Saturday, your dad was helping me make the very last meal (Michigan pasties) for the freezer. I was exhausted after making probably fifteen or so of these little meat pies, so while your dad cleaned up, I went to lay down for a short rest. After a while, he came back to our bedroom to check on me and talk for a minute.
"I'm so ready to be done, now. I want him out! Why can't he just get the hint and come a little early?" I said to dad.
He smiled at me, leaned down to my belly, right where your head was, and said to you, "Hey. Your momma is tired. It's time for you to come out now. Come out of your womb!"
I laughed, and he left to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Five minutes later, at about 5pm, I was still laying there in bed when I felt you kick, along with a strange pop.
Did my water just break?? I thought.
I stood up, and nothing happened.
I walked to the bathroom and pulled down my pants to see if my underwear were wet. Just as I pulled them down... SPLASH! I leapt onto the toilet and called your dad to come back there. Water was pouring out, and I shouted excitedly, "My water definitely just broke!"
Your dad, try as he might, was not very calm. I was shaking with excitement, and I think it took us both by surprise! We figured you'd stay in there for another week or two, so the fact that you listened to your old man already was a bit of a shock!
At the time, your Grandma and Grandpa Andreasen were on their way to the Carolina coast where they were going to stay until you were on the way. I called your grandma and told her to turn around and head back to Tennessee.
Then I called the doctor to ask for directions. They said I could stay home until my contractions got close, but I could go in now if I wanted. Since it wasn't a big rush, I decided to take a shower while your dad went out to get us some dinner and get the house picked up and Hondo's things ready for the neighbor.
After my shower, fluid was still pouring out, and my contractions started quickly and were about three minutes apart. I told your dad not to panic, but I thought he better hurry so we could leave. At the very least, I wanted to get checked. By the time we got to the hospital, I was having a harder time talking through my contractions. It happened so fast!
In the hospital
They admitted me into the hospital and checked me into my room. After laboring for about six hours, I asked for an epidural. I was only two centimeters dilated and 75% effaced, but you were sunny side up and every contraction was in my back... ONLY in my back and it hurt me sooooo much! I knew I'd never get any rest or relief while I continued to dilate if I had to feel all those contractions, so I was very grateful for the epidural.
Unfortunately, the epidural slowed down my contractions a bit, and I wasn't dilating very quickly. Not only that, but you didn't care for those contractions and with each one, your heart rate dipped too low, but came back up to pace when it ended. The doctors and nurses didn't like that (and neither did I), so all night long, every few minutes, a nurse came to my room to move me into different positions to see if it would make you more comfortable in there.
All the while, each contraction was pushing out lots and lots of fluid. From the very beginning I mentioned this to the staff because I thought it seemed like too much and by now you couldn't possibly have much fluid in there. After a long time, they finally agreed and they fed a line up to my uterus to pump more fluid in there for you to have a bit more of a cushion. Maybe that way you'd tolerate the contractions a little better.
All night I was moved around and we tried and tried to get you in a position to move things along a little more quickly while keeping you stable.
Early in the morning, my doctor came to check on me. It was Mother's Day! May 13, 2018. I was only about five centimeters at this point, no more effaced than I had been before, and your head was not engaged. We were all still worried about you, because your heart rate was still getting too low with each contraction.
We decided we'd try one more thing, and if it didn't work, I'd need to have a C-section to get you out of there. We had the anesthesiologist come in and turn my epidural way down, and they gave me the tiniest amount of pitocin. For another three hours, we waited. I felt all those horrible back contractions again. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and I hadn't slept hardly at all. I was exhausted and in so much pain. After those three hours, I dilated to seven, but you were getting more and more distressed. Since I hadn't reached ten centimeters by that point, I hadn't effaced further, and you still weren't engaged, my doctor advised that a C-section would now be the safest alternative for both of us. Silly boy! You didn't even give your momma a chance to push you out!
In minutes, new people entered my room, and we got ready for surgery. Your dad had to put on some scrubs, and I was wheeled to surgery.
The room was cold, but all the people were happy, calming, and kind. They covered me in warm blankets, and a man was counting out loud. What I realized later, is that it was a count of all the tools and gauze that would be available to my doctor, and after surgery, they counted it all again to make sure nothing got left inside of me! Ahh!
When surgery was about to begin, they let your dad come in and he sat next to me and held my hand. I was SO tired! I could barely stay awake, but I was excited to FINALLY meet you! It only took a few minutes, and when you came out, you immediately peed all over everyone! You were so big at 8lbs 4oz. and my doctor said she was quite sure you wouldn't have fit through the canal anyways. Your cord was around your neck, and that was probably getting squeezed even tighter with each contraction. Some babies aren't in danger with the cord around their necks, but some are, so it was good we got you out when we did.
You were so purple, and while they cleaned and weighed you, your dad stood by and watched. We both cried such tears of joy at finally meeting you, Silas. What an awesome first Mother's Day!
Shortly after they had you cleaned up and made sure you were breathing fine, they laid you on my chest, and we just stared at each other. You were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I just soaked you in. Your nose, your eyes that slowly blinked open and closed, and your perfect little mouth. You had all this silky soft, fuzzy, dark hair that stood straight up. One of the nurses called you "hedgehog hair" and I loved that.
While I held you, they closed me up and my surgery was over! My doctor did such a wonderful job from beginning to end and I'm so grateful she got you here safely. For an hour, we were left alone in a recovery room and I nursed you for the first time. Your papa spent time holding you skin to skin, and that hour was so special and quiet. Just us, quietly talking and taking you in.
Oh my little boy. You changed our whole world that day. We waited so long to hold you, and God brought you into our life at just the right time. What a blessing you are, Silas Benedict - you made us parents!
Our Favorite Products for the Newborn Phase
I know, I know - my content is very baby focused these days. We're really in the thick of this "new parent" thing, lately, and we're discovering what works for us…
I know, I know - my content is very baby focused these days. We're really in the thick of this "new parent" thing, lately, and we're discovering what works for us and what doesn't, so along the way I'm taking note of what's been particularly helpful in terms of products.
To be honest, when we started looking for baby stuff, I was super overwhelmed with the amount of products out there. Seriously... there has to be at least a gazillion different carseats! I had to do a lot of sifting through to find what was necessary, minimalist, and useful. I've been pleasantly surprised by some of the new products on the market! I say "new products" because I think I had in my mind that I'd use the same things my parents or my older siblings used for their kids. But some of the latest products are pretty amazing!
In this post I'm simply going to list off all the products we've found to be worth mentioning and why in this 4th Trimester (as they call it.. for good reason). The prices vary from a few bucks, to a little more expensive, but they all have a place in our home during these first months, so maybe you'll find them to be helpful in your home too!
I'll link all these products at the bottom of the post, so if you want to skip my commentary, scroll on down.
1. LugBug Carseat Handle
This was one of those serendipitous blogging moments. Tom and I had been talking about how ergonomically awkward carseat handles are, and I kid you not, two days later LugBug reached out to me asking if I'd like to try their carseat handle and share it with you. This is a game-changer, guys! It's simple, but totally solved the carseat handle dilemma in seconds. Since, I'm short (5'1"), it doesn't help me a whole lot because it makes the distance from the carseat to the ground a bit close (just being honest), but Tom is our carseat-carrier, so it's perfect for him! He loved it immediately.
2. Carseat Fan
Silas (like a lot of babies) is such a little furnace. Plus, Nashville gets super hot in the summer, so to help keep his temperature regulated, I picked up one of these fans on Amazon. It's been SO helpful and a lot of older people stop us and comment on what a smart thing that is to have. It's rechargeable, has a controllable blade speed, it rotates in any direction, and clips on easily to his seat. As a bonus, the sound of it soothes him!
3. Calmoseptine Ointment (for diaper rash)
A nurse friend gave me this stuff and it's a miracle worker. Seriously. Clears up diaper rash or irritation super fast.
4. Diaper station
I like these wood cubbies because I can move them around however I need. They could even get screwed onto the wall and used for a different purpose later on. Multi-functional and nice looking!
5. DockATot
Read my review on it here. Pictured above. We love this thing and use it all day and night. It's worth the price, people. Our baby lovessss this thing.
6. Diaper changing mats
They are just cheap, waterproof, machine washable mats that save you from having to wash your changing pad covers all the time. Believe me, you'll run into some messes and be glad you had one!
7. Sleepers with bottom zipper
Target carries footie pajama sleepers (Cloud Island brand) that have the zipper connect at the neck so that to unzip, you start at the feet. It makes diaper changes much easier.
8. Freezer meals
Okay, not really a baby product, but I'm extremely happy we made so many freezer meals before Silas arrived. We have yet to actually cook something for dinner, and Silas is inching towards two months old! We finished our freezer meals MINUTES before my water broke. Talk about timing! I put them off a little longer than I should have - haha
9. Water bottle
Breastfeeding or not, I'm so glad I have a big water bottle with a straw. It's with me everywhere I go and reminds me to stay hydrated. Since I do happen to be breastfeeding, I get parched pretty fast, so it's important to always be sipping some water.
10. Coconut oil
In the hospital, they gave me some olive oil to use on my nipples for breastfeeding, and while it's good, it's obviously super liquid-y and it's sort of annoying if you drip any. Coconut oil has been amazing for chapped or dry nipples, but also for Silas's chapped lips! Bonus that it's a natural remedy (and has that hint of coconut smell)!
11. Netflix
Need I say more? Feedings happen a LOT at this stage, and sometimes it gets pretty boring to just sit there with only one arm free. Netflix (or other streaming services) have been a must.
12. Moses basket and rocking stand
Not only is it aesthetically really cute, this set has been amazingggg at night. The height of the basket is right up to the edge of the bed which made it so much easier to grab him in the night while recovering from surgery. At this point, he does all his sleeping in it, and being able to soothe him with a little rocking motion is really nice.
13. Touch lamp
Such a lifesaver next to his changing station. When your hands are full, being able to tap the lamp super quick is really helpful.
14. Lorena Canals blanket
Tom wanted me to mention this one specifically from his opinion. He's pretty picky about blankets, because he really likes a good heavy blanket for weight and warmth. This one from Lorena Canals is woven/knit. He's normally not a fan of those types of blankets because they tend to be too breathable, but he said he loves this one. It's the only blanket like that, that he honestly sleeps under really comfortably. Plus it's plenty long (he's 6'4") so he can cozy up under it, and rock Silas (and himself) to sleep with ease. We both love having an adult sized blanket for the nursery, and it never leaves the chair. It's also machine washable, eco friendly with natural dyes, and handmade. It's absolutely beautiful and gets BOTH Tom and my stamp of approval for being a great nursery asset! Lorena Canals also carries other home and children's room pieces, including machine washable rugs. Isn't that amazing?? They have these really gorgeous rugs that you can actually wash! Anyways, like I always say, I'd never tell you guys something was great if I didn't truly think so, and this blanket is no exception. I weirdly look forward to using it every chance I get :) This blanket was sent to me courtesy of Lorena Canals.
15. IKEA baby gym
You know me, miss minimalist! I like this baby gym because it's soft, simple, but still has tastefully colorful toys. There are also cute little tee-pee style wood set baby gyms, but for once I decided to go with something more colorful, yet still minimal. The bottom is well padded, which is also really nice. It easily folds up and can be put away when not in use. Plus, it's on the cheaper side of most baby gyms at only $30.
16. Muslin blankets
We've used these light blankets for just about everything. They've caught spit up, been used as swaddles, been used as a nursing cover, a blanket to hold Silas in the bath, and more. They're an awesome multi-purpose product, and I'm glad we got so many as gifts!
17. Diaper backpack
I'm honestly not one for big totes, so way before Silas came along, I knew a backpack would be the best route. Plus, Tom doesn't look weird carrying it. The one we have is meant for use as a diaper bag, so the compartments are perfect - I love this thing! Plus, you can't beat the price.
18. Dapple bottle soap
Seems unnecessary, but one of my friends suggested this soap and I have to say it's actually really nice. Cleaning breastmilk or formula out of bottles can be difficult as they sometimes leave a film. This soap has left all my breast pump parts sparkling clean with just a quick wash.
19. Small dish basin
Haha okay. My mom made me steal this from the hospital and I was really embarrassed about it, but she swore I'd use it all the time.... and as moms usually are, she was right! I use it for washing all the bottles, pumping parts, etc... It's been a really handy little thing! It's smaller than most dishwashing basins, but that's what's particularly nice about it. It's cheap and flimsy, so just steal one from the hospital, otherwise I linked what looks like the exact same one below.
20. Nose Frida
Yup. It's true. This dang thing is everything people crack it up to be. It's a million times better than the bulbs, and believe me when I say I'm a HUGE skeptic about most popular things. Worth every.single.penny.
I know there are plenty more products we love right now, and will love in the future depending on Silas's age/stage... but these are our current favorites. Scroll on down, and I'll link them below!
