Ike's Birth Story
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless!
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless! Oh how blissful your birth was (well… maybe not while I labored haha) and how happy we were for your safe entrance into the world! Amidst a pandemic, no doubt. Here’s the story…
Two days before - my 31st birthday
WEDNESDAY 9/16:
I had just hit 37 weeks the day before, and for my birthday your dad took the day off and we went out for lunch to a Mexican restaurant because I wanted queso and a fish taco. We took Silas to a park in the morning, had our tacos, daddy and Silas brought me flowers in the afternoon, we had ice cream cake after dinner (Silas started saying “Happy Mama!”) which we shared with our neighbors, and that night your daddy gave me the sweetest spa night with a full pedicure and back massage while we watched Harry Potter. Nashville was still hot, but fall weather was just days away and I couldn’t wait for my last weeks of pregnancy to be spent outside playing with Silas more comfortably.
THURSDAY 9/17:
It was a normal day. Silas and I played in the yard and pool, and late that night I insisted dada should pack his hospital bag. My instincts must have kicked in because… well… come the middle of the night, he’d be needing that bag! At one point that day, part of my mucous plug had come out, but I hoped I still had a few more days.
At Home
Friday 9/18 - 1:15AM
I was fast asleep, when I woke to what felt like you had punched me, followed by a little pop sensation. I reached down, thinking I was dreaming that my water had broken (wouldn’t have been the first dream like that). My underwear were wet.
”Am I peeing? It that actually wet?”
Shook my head awake.
”OH that’s my water!”
“Tom! …… TOM!!! My water broke!!!”
Dad leapt out of bed while I instructed him to please hurry and grab towels before it got all over the bed… “BUT NOT THOSE TOWELS!”
I leapt up too and pushed him out of my way in the bathroom so I could get to the toilet where my water gushed out and I started to cry a little bit.
I didn’t feel ready! My friend was supposed to come watch Silas, but this was the ONE weekend she couldn’t. Thankfully we had our amazing neighbors backing her up. My parents weren’t here! My hopes for a successful VBAC relied partly on my water not breaking first so my labor would be a bit less intense, and now that aspect was out the window and I knew my labor would probably be more intense. Dada looked me in the eyes, in the dimly lit bedroom and smiled and reminded me what was coming… YOU! I smiled, bucked up, and called my mom.
2AM
On the left - how long the contraction lasted
On the right - time between contractions
Contractions started.
By now I had called my OB and was told to go in when I was 5 minutes apart (haha I was basically already at that point, but I wanted to labor at home where I was more comfortable). I also called our doula and was keeping her updated on things and getting ideas from her on coping. As they started to get more intense, I was focusing well on my breathing, but every contraction was only in my back. GAH! Another back-labor baby! Was he face-up like his brother was?? Again?! I tried to lay back down and sleep, but that made everything feel WAY worse.
I decided to try standing in the shower for relief. Thus far, the only comfortable spot had been the edge of our bed with a heating pad behind me, but I wanted to get him to turn around if he was face up. Once in the shower (couldn’t do the tub since my water had broken), things ramped up FAST. I told Tom to call Vicki (doula) and have her come right away. I was beginning to vocalize and it had only been a couple hours since my water broke.
Once she arrived, we all talked between contractions and kept things calm. We had some toast and tea and we tried some other positions but they were not helping much, or were making the contractions even more intense. By 6AM we all decided it was time to head to the hospital. Tom called up our neighbor around the time Silas woke up.
The hospital
6:15AM
As I started to shuffle out the door, I went to give Silas one more squeeze goodbye as my only child. He hugged me and said, “bebe out!” and continued reading books with our sweet neighbor. It was just a precious moment that I’m glad I made note of. Also, the MOST grateful to our two sets of neighbors who jumped in to watch Silas before my parents could be there. We are insanely blessed to have them!
6:40AM
At my 37 week appointment, I was -4 station (meaning, baby was basically still floating above my pelvis). My first check at the hospital, I was -3 station and barely dilated at all. I cant remember what it was initially - maybe 1cm or 3cm? Either way, it was very discouraging based on the intensity and frequency of my contractions. But I soldiered on!
7-10:30AM
Now in a delivery room, they needed to put me on a monitor and insert a hep line. Neither of these things went smoothly, and I had to be lying down in a bed for both which was excruciating for my back labor. We tried a wireless monitor (didn’t work). The regular monitors were being spotty, too. As for the hep line? Oh geez. Two nurses each tried twice, followed by THREE different anesthesiologists. No one could get a vein to work! This had never happened to me before! I was probably dehydrated or it was my hormones, but my veins just kept collapsing. One of the nurses joked that it was probably humbling for those anesthesiologists - haha! This was all going on as I was lying in bed dying to get up. By now, I had asked for an epidural because I was exhausted and needed a break from the close, long contractions that were now peaking TWICE within a single contraction.
As I waited for an epidural my doctor (a welcome (masked) face and voice to see and hear) came in to see what was happening. She looked at my contraction pattern, baby’s decelerations with each contraction, and after doing a pelvic exam (-2 station, 3cm dilated WAAAHHH!!), gave it to me straight… we needed to move to a C-section. She was direct, but caring. I knew she was right. And she was a little concerned about possible rupture based on my contraction pattern.
This did mean I wouldn’t be getting an epidural, but a spinal instead, so more waiting for relief as that would be done once in the O.R.
This felt like agessss. For 8 hours I had labored unmedicated with purely back labor with contractions about every 3 minutes apart for over a minute each. Oh, they still didn’t have a working hep line on me, so that poking continued into the operating room. Once they DID finally get one, it pooled up on my wrist halfway through surgery - haha I honestly started feeling bad for all these poor professionals after a while!
Once in the operating room, they waited as I got through more long contractions, then started a spinal. Very quickly, I felt the effects of the spinal and it was AMAZING! No drowsiness like I had after being on an epidural for hours. I felt so present and awake this time versus with Silas, where I wanted to sleep through the entire thing. The surgery itself was a bit longer (which is normal for repeat C’s), but somehow less nerve-wracking as I was so aware of everything, and everyone was talking, and the whole room felt so calm and comfortable. I got to converse with my doctor during it and that was so neat. I reminded her that I was supposed to have a growth scan at my 38 week appointment next week and we laughed over that not happening now!
The big moment…
When they reached you, Ike, they lifted a clear drape and dada and I got to watch as you were born! They brought you up to the drape and I was able to touch your warm head and talk to you as they let you get that cord blood for a while. You quieted as you listened to me welcome you into the world. It was the most joyous, beautiful moment and it felt incredible to feel more a part of that even in surgery. They took you to do their checks, then dada got to hold you as they finished my surgery and redid my awful hep line situation. Before I was wheeled out, they placed you on my chest and I didn’t put you down for hours :) In the immediate recovery room, I was able to nurse you for the first time and you were a little pro! You took to it so quickly and I was so proud of us both.
As we soaked in your newness, it was so special to see how you resembled your brother, yet how uniquely-made you were. You were a full pound smaller than Silas was, and we couldn’t believe you could be so tiny and perfect. Your hair was dark, and soft, and your fingers so long and new. Seeing a brand new baby, is the most surreal moment in the world and I love it so much. Oh Ike Wilder, we are so blessed to be your parents and so overjoyed at your entrance into the world. You are my beautiful boy and are already such a perfect addition to our little family and so loved by your big brother (and Hondo)! We thank God for the gift of you, precious boy - we love you so, Ike!
A few notes about this birth…
So essentially, this birth went EXACTLY how Silas’ birth went. To a T! Same issues with engagement, slow progression, back labor (Ike was face down, even!), fetal distress, spontaneous water breaking, etc… even though we did SO many things differently this time around.
Birth is such a wild thing and different for every woman and child. This one at least went much quicker (though without an epidural, it sure FELT longer haha), but in briefly talking with my doctor after surgery and with our doula a couple weeks postpartum, we think there must be something with my anatomy (perhaps the size or shape of my pelvis) that just won’t allow my babies to engage. And because my waters break before I start labor, my babies lose their cushion during those harsh contractions and become very distressed and have trouble moving down. Of course, as this was a VBAC, there were other variables and risks we had to be wary of, too.
I’m grateful, too, that my recovery has been much easier this time around and I knew how important rest is for that. We only had to stay in the hospital two days which was amazing! Covid, of course, made some aspects a pain. It was annoying wearing a mask when we first met our baby and not being able to feel his cheek against mine and take in the smell of his new skin right away, but I can’t say we felt unsafe. We had to stay in our room, but Tom was able to leave once a day and get us food. In fact, he spent the first night at home while I sent Ike to the nursery between feeds so I could rest.
Overall, I don’t mourn my previous C-section, nor do I mourn this one. I have always held much more strongly to my babies and myself coming out of birth safe and healthy, so to me, that IS my “ideal birth.” I feel so at peace knowing I did everything in my power to have a successful VBAC, so to me, there was no failure in my birth and I can simply shrug it off and know it was going to happen this way regardless. It was just not meant to be! We had such an awesome support system and I felt so able to advocate for myself - and if I couldn’t I had Tom and Vicki to speak up as well. I truly look at this birth with such immense pride and joy, and seeing my growing, healthy boy is the greatest gift!
Silas's Birth Story
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
At home
For weeks I kept saying I was going to make all these meals ahead of your birth so we wouldn't have to cook for a long, long time after you arrived. Well, I took my time. It was a tough job, okay? And you were making my body so achey and heavy, and standing in the kitchen did not sound appealing.
But I knew it would be such a nice thing to have on hand so that your dad and I could just focus on getting used to taking care of you and staring at you all day. So when I was 38 weeks pregnant, I started making meals and freezing them.
I was so tired. My back was achey, I was peeing every ten minutes, and my ankles were swollen. When I dropped something, I rarely bothered to pick it up because my belly was so big and cumbersome. And sleep. What sleep? It seemed to have vanished!
When I was 39 weeks and one day, on a Saturday, your dad was helping me make the very last meal (Michigan pasties) for the freezer. I was exhausted after making probably fifteen or so of these little meat pies, so while your dad cleaned up, I went to lay down for a short rest. After a while, he came back to our bedroom to check on me and talk for a minute.
"I'm so ready to be done, now. I want him out! Why can't he just get the hint and come a little early?" I said to dad.
He smiled at me, leaned down to my belly, right where your head was, and said to you, "Hey. Your momma is tired. It's time for you to come out now. Come out of your womb!"
I laughed, and he left to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Five minutes later, at about 5pm, I was still laying there in bed when I felt you kick, along with a strange pop.
Did my water just break?? I thought.
I stood up, and nothing happened.
I walked to the bathroom and pulled down my pants to see if my underwear were wet. Just as I pulled them down... SPLASH! I leapt onto the toilet and called your dad to come back there. Water was pouring out, and I shouted excitedly, "My water definitely just broke!"
Your dad, try as he might, was not very calm. I was shaking with excitement, and I think it took us both by surprise! We figured you'd stay in there for another week or two, so the fact that you listened to your old man already was a bit of a shock!
At the time, your Grandma and Grandpa Andreasen were on their way to the Carolina coast where they were going to stay until you were on the way. I called your grandma and told her to turn around and head back to Tennessee.
Then I called the doctor to ask for directions. They said I could stay home until my contractions got close, but I could go in now if I wanted. Since it wasn't a big rush, I decided to take a shower while your dad went out to get us some dinner and get the house picked up and Hondo's things ready for the neighbor.
After my shower, fluid was still pouring out, and my contractions started quickly and were about three minutes apart. I told your dad not to panic, but I thought he better hurry so we could leave. At the very least, I wanted to get checked. By the time we got to the hospital, I was having a harder time talking through my contractions. It happened so fast!
In the hospital
They admitted me into the hospital and checked me into my room. After laboring for about six hours, I asked for an epidural. I was only two centimeters dilated and 75% effaced, but you were sunny side up and every contraction was in my back... ONLY in my back and it hurt me sooooo much! I knew I'd never get any rest or relief while I continued to dilate if I had to feel all those contractions, so I was very grateful for the epidural.
Unfortunately, the epidural slowed down my contractions a bit, and I wasn't dilating very quickly. Not only that, but you didn't care for those contractions and with each one, your heart rate dipped too low, but came back up to pace when it ended. The doctors and nurses didn't like that (and neither did I), so all night long, every few minutes, a nurse came to my room to move me into different positions to see if it would make you more comfortable in there.
All the while, each contraction was pushing out lots and lots of fluid. From the very beginning I mentioned this to the staff because I thought it seemed like too much and by now you couldn't possibly have much fluid in there. After a long time, they finally agreed and they fed a line up to my uterus to pump more fluid in there for you to have a bit more of a cushion. Maybe that way you'd tolerate the contractions a little better.
All night I was moved around and we tried and tried to get you in a position to move things along a little more quickly while keeping you stable.
Early in the morning, my doctor came to check on me. It was Mother's Day! May 13, 2018. I was only about five centimeters at this point, no more effaced than I had been before, and your head was not engaged. We were all still worried about you, because your heart rate was still getting too low with each contraction.
We decided we'd try one more thing, and if it didn't work, I'd need to have a C-section to get you out of there. We had the anesthesiologist come in and turn my epidural way down, and they gave me the tiniest amount of pitocin. For another three hours, we waited. I felt all those horrible back contractions again. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and I hadn't slept hardly at all. I was exhausted and in so much pain. After those three hours, I dilated to seven, but you were getting more and more distressed. Since I hadn't reached ten centimeters by that point, I hadn't effaced further, and you still weren't engaged, my doctor advised that a C-section would now be the safest alternative for both of us. Silly boy! You didn't even give your momma a chance to push you out!
In minutes, new people entered my room, and we got ready for surgery. Your dad had to put on some scrubs, and I was wheeled to surgery.
The room was cold, but all the people were happy, calming, and kind. They covered me in warm blankets, and a man was counting out loud. What I realized later, is that it was a count of all the tools and gauze that would be available to my doctor, and after surgery, they counted it all again to make sure nothing got left inside of me! Ahh!
When surgery was about to begin, they let your dad come in and he sat next to me and held my hand. I was SO tired! I could barely stay awake, but I was excited to FINALLY meet you! It only took a few minutes, and when you came out, you immediately peed all over everyone! You were so big at 8lbs 4oz. and my doctor said she was quite sure you wouldn't have fit through the canal anyways. Your cord was around your neck, and that was probably getting squeezed even tighter with each contraction. Some babies aren't in danger with the cord around their necks, but some are, so it was good we got you out when we did.
You were so purple, and while they cleaned and weighed you, your dad stood by and watched. We both cried such tears of joy at finally meeting you, Silas. What an awesome first Mother's Day!
Shortly after they had you cleaned up and made sure you were breathing fine, they laid you on my chest, and we just stared at each other. You were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I just soaked you in. Your nose, your eyes that slowly blinked open and closed, and your perfect little mouth. You had all this silky soft, fuzzy, dark hair that stood straight up. One of the nurses called you "hedgehog hair" and I loved that.
While I held you, they closed me up and my surgery was over! My doctor did such a wonderful job from beginning to end and I'm so grateful she got you here safely. For an hour, we were left alone in a recovery room and I nursed you for the first time. Your papa spent time holding you skin to skin, and that hour was so special and quiet. Just us, quietly talking and taking you in.
Oh my little boy. You changed our whole world that day. We waited so long to hold you, and God brought you into our life at just the right time. What a blessing you are, Silas Benedict - you made us parents!
