Our Wedding Was Plan B
Recently I shared this post on my Facebook page about our beautiful morning wedding and brunch reception. It was a gorgeous, picturesque day...
Recently I shared this post on my Facebook page about our beautiful morning wedding and brunch reception. It was a gorgeous, picturesque day with an intimate guest list, but it was actually our Plan B.
Originally, we planned to elope!
Tom and I got engaged late in the summer after our college graduation. We were the last children to get married in each of our families, and several of our siblings and others who had been married for a while would often tell us "Just elope! Skip the whole big wedding, save the money, and just get married!"
Well, for once, we thought we'd listen. Though we were the party animals of our friend groups in school, when it came down to it, we just wanted to be married. We didn't need the day to revolve around us, we didn't need a great big party with lots of booze and gifts... we just wanted to be husband and wife.
This, of course, came as a shocker to our family and friends (the few that we told), but after having stood up in so many weddings when money was tight, and traveling to dozens of weddings over the course of two years, we thought we'd be different. We'd save people the hassle, the money, and the travel. We'd tell our parents the plan (even have them at the intimate ceremony), hire a photographer to take normal wedding photos, and then jet off on a honeymoon. Upon our arrival back home, we'd send out surprise announcements of our marriage (which wouldn't be all that surprising since everyone knew we were engaged) with a photo of our elopement, and invite everyone to a reception/party on an upcoming date with a casual, sweet, fun setting.
This plan (to us) was ultra romantic, surprising, happy, and unique. It felt very us. It was unpredictable, off the beaten path, and exciting!
In the end, we realized not everyone saw it that way. We completely understood the feelings of our loved ones and were happy with our Plan B, but boy... don't let anyone tell you a wedding is about you! Haha!
Our Plan B wedding was perfect too. We were engaged for eight months and had our reception at a stunning historic Villa overlooking Lake Michigan in Milwaukee. I'm glad we shared it with family and our closest friends and chose a brunch reception over a party till midnight... not because we aren't the type to dance till our feet fall off (because we definitely are), but because in the end, this union was between God, Tom, and me... yet I know it meant a lot to those who were there to witness it.
If you want to know the truth though? I'd still choose Plan A ;)
If We Registered For Our Wedding Today
Do's and Don'ts
We've been married almost three and a half years now. Time has both flown and hardly moved, it seems.
In that time, we have moved twice - one of which was major.
From those moves, I've learned a few things about the stuff we own. When push came to shove, we tossed items instead of packing them and it's given me a few revelations about what was worth registering for, and what we could have bought ourselves... or not bought at all. I'll get right to it - here's what we learned.
DO register for...
Towels
Put them on your registry... BUT go neutral. Say your first apartment or house has purple accents in the bathroom. Well, chances are, your next place won't and your lavender towels will suddenly look weird and out of place. Going neutral (white, beige, gray, etc..) will help you keep those nice towels longer. The same can be said for kitchen hand towels, though they're inexpensive to replace if you tire of them after a year.
Hint: white towels can be bleached - easy upkeep! I hate thinking about what kinds of gross stains are hidden in dark towels.... and if benzoyl peroxide products come in contact with them, you're looking at pinkish bleach marks too :(
Knife set
You will use them. Whether you cook a lot or not, good knives will always come in handy. Just be sure and do a little research as some will get crummy over time. Reviews might tell you that not all knife handles are created equal. Whether they begin to rust, or somehow fall off, check those reviews.
Dinnerware, glassware, and silverware sets
Meaning: glasses, wine glasses, silverware set, dish set, bowls, coffee mugs, etc. This can depend on your particular needs (maybe you don't drink wine, so wine glasses are not useful). Go timeless if you're looking for items to last you possibly a lifetime. White dishes never go out of style, basic glasses, and classic silverware sets will always serve you well... literally.
Smaller appliances
If you love to bake, a nice KitchenAid mixer will last you forever. A toaster, clothing iron, coffee maker, good vacuum cleaner, crockpot, etc... again, there's no need for all the items you see, but knowing which ones you'd love to have starting out will be helpful. We've added a few to our shelves over the years, like a waffle iron, but early on that waffle iron would have been less valuable than a toaster. Which ones are the most basic to you? Go from there.
Tool set
Nothing fancy or huge, but a good starter tool set would have come in very handy several times even in apartment living. When I think back to the jerry-rigged things in our first apartment, I realize how much easier some simple tools would have made things.
Storage and organization
Two of the best underrated gifts we got were a large canvas tote, and large plastic bin (filled with kitchen utensils and other goodies). Everyone should wrap their wedding gifts in storage bins/organizers, because man, they've earned their keep over the last 3+ years. A good tupperware or glass food storage set, drawer organizers, etc... are used constantly and keep your stuff neat and tidy.
A good kitchen trash can
Maybe this is just us, but I do not know how people with tiny kitchen trash cans do it! Having a big can in the kitchen is priceless. The thing is, the nice ones are surprisingly expensive, so no one wants to dish out the money... but once you have it, you can't believe you waited all that time. We would have loved one as a wedding gift.
Pots and pans
This "do" list has a lot of kitchen stuff, I know. But truthfully, most kitchen items are used very frequently, so they make great gifts. We have a stainless steel set of pots and pans, which is great because you can scrub the bajeezus out of them and they won't get ruined. And their quality has been compared to All Clad. However, I think owning at least one really good non-stick pan is essential. The GreenPan is great because the non-stick won't contaminate your food as it wears out or gets scratched.
Basic bedding
I say basic, because again, a big colorful comforter may not work in your next place. White sheets (again) can be bleached so the upkeep is easy and it goes with everything. A good down or alternative comforter is a wonderful thing to own along with a duvet cover. We didn't register for any bedding or pillows, but now, I think it would have been a safe call and a really nice gift.
Gift cards
I know it seems impersonal, but if you have enough giftcards to the same place, you may be able to purchase the really big item that no one guest would buy alone. Or the less basic items that you 'want' more than 'need.' Those giftcards led to some more fun purchases that only we could have picked.
DON'T register for...
Home decor
If there is anything we've learned in three years, it's that styles change. Especially going from an apartment to a house, we've learned that many decor items that got us through temporary apartment living suddenly look terrible in a house. Personally, we did not register for decor and I'm so glad we didn't. This left more room for necessary items for everyday living... and those needs certainly don't go out of style!
Furniture
Do you know where you'll live in a year? Five years? That shelf you registered for may not fit in your next place, or you may just grow tired of it. The money spent on it could have been better served on a set of good platters or a great sauce pan. You don't want to limit where you want to live based on your gifted furniture. To this day, we don't buy expensive furniture because our life stage could mean more moves or messy children. We don't want to limit our living options based on our furniture or become devastated when someone smears peanut butter on the back of the couch.
Novelty kitchen gadgets
As hard as it is for me to put this one in (hello, we love our sous vide machine), it really is a don't for a wedding registry. A set of good knives will be far more useful than a rice cooker. Focus on needs first, fun stuff later.
Fun stuff
Okay, this one is debatable. Especially coming from a couple that loves experiences more than things. We almost registered for some camping gear (in fact, I think we did), but I'm glad we didn't get any because we've camped maybe twice thus far. I much prefer having those everyday items. When we did get a tent and some gear, we spent very little on them and they've been good for our short trips. Some people may love the fun stuff more, and that is A-Okay too... we just happened to discover that the necessities were really fun at that point in life.
What about you? What would you add or nix from a registry?
P.S. This is by no means an end-all-be-all. We're all different! After three and a half years, though, I'm still so grateful for all the wonderful gifts we received! Such a happy time :) It was interesting to write this post and see what a great impact kitchen items have on our life.
Some honorable mentions for the do list: cooking utensils of all kinds, measuring cups, cookie sheets, serving platters, large cutting board, wine and beer :)
July | 2016
What a whirlwind of a month.
Oh, you too?
Those summer days, I tell ya. Especially July.
First off, let me share with you some of my current favorites:
This super cheap dress was the first item of clothing I've ever ordered off Amazon and I am super happy with it. If you check out my photos below, I'm wearing it in blue by Lake Michigan at our friend's rehearsal dinner. It's also on my Instagram.
The clock I pictured, isn't the exact one we own, but it's practically the same and it has added such a perfect minimal piece to our kitchen area. See this post for a photo of it in our home.
blogs to explore
I am totally crushing on Warmth & Whimsy which is a blog I recently discovered and I just can't get enough of! Katie talks about the importance of dating your spouse, gardening, confidence, etc.. a wide array of topics that I am finding so relatable.
Brunch on Chesnut is a larger blog, but her photos are so stunning and I adore how they're styled.
Boulevard House. Admittedly, I've hardly had a moment to read her posts in their entirety, but just based on the fact that she writes about making your house your own, I am bookmarking it to return!
latest adventures
We had a really fun July. Between being outside with friends for play or for the holiday, and a packed week in Wisconsin, we are pretty pooped. There were lots of memories made and laughter with the best people. I'm just going to give a winded synopsis of what went down this month...
- Spent the 4th with the best // Alex and her husband from The Berger Bungalow #bloggingbudsforlife! We also ventured north and went river tubing as couples and had a blast.
- Mooched off our awesome friends' pool // gosh, could we love them any more? Haha!
- Discovered this adorable hidden gem of a town near our home, that has an pretty lake and sweet locals.
- Grabbed a quick lunch with one of my best friends from college and her sweet baby girl // love!
- Spent a couple days with my sister and her family in their new house in Wisconsin, and finally got some cheese curds.
- Had a very adventurous long weekend north of Milwaukee for a wedding // and somewhere in there acquired THIRTY-THREE bug bites on my feet/ankles/lower calves alone. So itchy.
- We stayed in two different Airbnb's and, as usual, had some great experiences. Our host lived in the first one we stayed in, and she was a total delight to have talked to and been hosted by. Don't forget to use my code the first time you book an Airbnb for $30 off!
- Finally saw my all time favorite band play live in Chicago at the Bears Stadium // Coldplay! It was so incredible and a dream come true.
Here's a little photo tour of our month (click to enlarge):
The amazing thing about Coldplay's concert were the wristbands you were given upon entering. They changed color, blinked, etc... along with the beat of the songs. It was so magical to look across the expanse of this massive stadium and see the colorful lights in sync with the songs. Of course, during their song "Yellow" everyone's wristband turned yellow, which was fitting. Fireworks would shoot up behind the band on beat with some songs, and they had these giants balloons being tossed around the entire arena. In a word it was just incredible. Very, very fun concert. Check out my Instagram for another short video from the concert, and note the wristbands when the song picks up.