I'm 25.
Yep, I turned 25 on Tuesday. I think I'll just add to the numerous other blog posts you can find out there now about "How it feels to turn 25" and "What every girl should learn before she's 30" and "What every woman needs to accomplish in her 20's."
Here's the thing. Yeah, turning 25 is actually kind of weird. I'm still young (even though I prefer a 10:00 bedtime over my usual 11:30 bedtime), but now I'm over that "youthful" hump. I sort of feel like as you progress towards 25, every age before that is really juvenile. 24, 23, 22? All of those count as being 22. 21? That years flies by...for some reason... Everything before 21, is soooo baby. You knew nothing!
But 25? I feel like the things I have learned thus far in my life are coming into practice more and more. I act like my mom, I embrace that, and even respect that. She's a pretty awesome woman. Before this I was probably in denial that I would be like her. In fact I remember hating in college when my sisters would tell me I act like her... now? Great! My mom has the most youthful personality. Why would I want anything less?
Now when is the patience of my dad supposed to show up? I could really use his patient demeanor sometimes. Ha!
I don't know what it is about saying "I'm 25" that suddenly feels so weird. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I'm now closer to 30. Or that now the "aging process" is going to start reaping its rewards on my laugh lines. Whatever it is, it got my biological clock ticking and ON MY BIRTHDAY I got in this whole saga with Tom about it. It was pretty hysterical. It was basically me letting the words "I'm OLD!!!" reverberate in the air for 45 minutes (side note: I'm not really old).
Anyways, all those posts out there tell you to travel the world (if that's what you want to do) and learn to eat alone (if that's what you want to do) and follow your dream to the ends of the earth (if that's what you want to do) and buy yourself grown-up clothes (if that's what you want to do) and fall in love or out of love (if that's what you want to do) and take care of your body and soul (if that's what you want to do) and quit your job (if that's what you want to do)....and so on and so forth.
Let me sum up what they mean: Do. What. You. Want. To. Do.
The thing is, you don't have to travel the world or buy yourself grown-up clothes or fall in love to be happy in this life. I'm not saying that any of those things aren't admirable. I think they all have a place. But if the whole point is to do what YOU want to do, then what is some list on someone's blog about what to accomplish before you're 30 ever going to do FOR YOU?
And frankly, we are not on this earth for ourselves. God put us here. We are here for Him first and then for our friends and neighbors. Sure, maybe a list like the ones described will give you a sense of empowerment and maybe some ideas of where to start - there is nothing wrong with that. I like to know that something I write will empower others to speak their minds, share Christ, forgive, say sorry, try something new, or do something they've always dreamed of doing but never had the courage.
I could sit here and give you a list of things I can think of that I want to accomplish before I'm 30, but what good is that for you? Make your OWN list! Don't follow some super general list that every other 20-something is trying to emulate.
Don't sit there at your 9-to-5 job judging Susie for getting married and having kids instead of going to college. Her dreams and aspirations are not yours. And maybe what you always THOUGHT was your dream, will change. People tell you "TRAVEL!"... but from one person to the next, that may or may not be important.
A year ago I wanted to be a career driven, corporate somebody. Now? That's not at all what I want. I have the resources to explore something different, and I am so blessed to have that opportunity. But you know what? Some of the people I left behind DO want to be a career driven, corporate somebody and I admire their dedication. I'm proud of them for fulfilling their goals. I have goals of my own, and who is to tell either me, or the next person what they should and should not accomplish in this life? DO YOU! That is the beauty of this God-given life. He gives us many different paths to walk - some tougher than others, but all in His plan, nonetheless.
As for me...my wish, in this 25th year of life, is that I "do me" and love others in the process.
6 Reasons To Get Married In The Morning
Now, I am no wedding expert. And I'm certainly not going to pretend like I know what's best for every couple...but if you're looking for something unique, memorable, and off-the-beaten-path, a morning wedding is a fantastic choice.
Tom and I had said from the start that a great, big, traditional wedding wasn't going to be very "us", so we decided that a small one with fewer than 100 of our closest friends and family (the final count was about 75 people) would be ideal. We wanted the focus to be our marriage, and the relationship between us and God. I guess you could say we wanted an "intimate" wedding (but my family is huge and really rambunctious, so it seemed like a bigger wedding to me).
Anyways, we realized, shortly into planning this small wedding, that our choice of venues was pretty open. The larger ones could usually be made to look less expansive, and the smaller options were able to fit our guest list without a hitch. We jumped at the opportunity to pick an amazing venue to fit us just right. That's when Tom and I found The Villa Terrace Decorative Arts Museum. We fell in love with its old character and the overlooking view of Lake Michigan. When my mom (who basically planned everything; I just told her what colors I liked. She even picked our cake! She was amazingggg) asked us about small details, like what kind of food we wanted, how we wanted it to feel, etc...I realized that maybe an evening reception wouldn't "feel right".
I think we had been talking about dessert preferences and I mentioned that I didn't care all that much about them, but that I really wanted good coffee. And suddenly, the idea came up: Why not have a brunch reception? A huge part of Tom and I's relationship centered around going out for coffee and brunch after church on Sundays, so how fitting would it be to do exactly that - a morning wedding with a brunch reception! Tom even proposed to me during one of our usual after-church brunch times.
To make sure The Villa was the right choice, my mom drove out to Milwaukee to see it and other venues for herself, but fell in love with it immediately. She mentioned the brunch idea to several venue coordinators who looked at her with a sort of "lightbulb moment" that said, "Wow! Why didn't I ever think of that?!"
So from that day forward, we planned a morning wedding followed by a brunch reception. It was one of the best decisions we made and there are so many reasons I'm glad we did this over a traditional wedding. Let me break it down into a few points.
1. You don't have to spend all morning and into the afternoon getting nervous.
Or maybe it's not even about the nerves. For me, it was just nice to get married soon after I woke up so that the day didn't just drag on. I've been in plenty of traditional weddings, all of which were lovely....but there is soooo much waiting around! Our ceremony was at 9:30AM on a Saturday, so I woke up around 6:30 or 7, and had a good friend come to our hotel to do my hair. Just like any other wedding-day-prep, I was surrounded by my mom, dad, sisters, cousin, and best friend...it just didn't take all day! We all did hair and makeup ourselves, and my photographer showed up to capture the moments. It was relaxed and so calm and happy! We got the the church at about 9:15 and I was married by 10:15AM! The rest of the day was a cinch and any little nerves were GONE!
2. You get to have brunch.
I think there is a stigma about "wedding food". How it all tastes the same and there is little variety (chicken, fish, steak...). Our reception was from 11AM-2PM and we had mimosas and a coffee bar! Everyone raved about how delicious our wedding food was...long after the day. Tom and I get a little sad because we don't remember how good it was (#weddingblur) and my dress was so fitted that I could hardly fit anything into my smooshed stomach! Nonetheless, having a brunch reception was so different, that that in itself stood out to our guests. No soggy cooked vegetables were found here, unless they were in a delicious omelette or quiche! Plus it brought out a sentiment that was a long-time part of our relationship: coffee and brunch. Very fitting for us - and check out the spread:
3. The party doesn't end in the middle of the night.
Some people revel in partying at a wedding ALL night. Sure, it's traditional, and there's nothing wrong with it...but for us, we'd rather have our wedding not end at midnight in a sweaty suit and dress. We did elect to have a DJ there for music during brunch, the first dance, mother-son, father-daughter, and dancing afterwards (We basically picked some cheap, rando DJ off the street though, and he kind of made things awkward by playing S&M...oh well, he made it memorable). We are big on dancing, but it's true, people weren't as prone to getting down and jiggy at 1PM. However, I have like 12 nieces and nephews who owned the floor. And when a song with sentimental value between groups of friends or family was played, you can bet people got into it (Example: Sisters, Call Me Maybe...).
Moral of the story, it was great to not feel completely exhausted from an entire day of waiting and primping and dancing and drinking. Plus, think about your parents and family who maybe have to help afterwards (taking your gifts, picking up center pieces, etc...). I know of a few weddings where I had to be a helper for this. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to do it, but man-oh-man it's exhausting at that point of the night! Oh, and kids? They weren't dragging their parents out by 9PM because it was past their bedtime - they got to play all afternoon, and so did their parents!
4. People don't get drinky.
This could be seen as a pro or a con, I suppose. Again, having been to our fair share of weddings, who DOESN'T like an open bar?? You and all your friends get dressed up and drink till you find yourself dancing a solo to "Don't Stop Believin'" or polka with that one uncle of the groom who also likes to party hard. I am not hating on a good open bar by any means. However, it was actually really great to be "all there" and just enjoy genuine time with my friends and family. It felt like a celebration more than it felt like a party, if that makes sense. Plus, we didn't have to worry about people driving with too much alcohol in their systems, anyone getting sick all over the bathrooms, or fronting a huge booze cost when all was said and done.
5. Everyone has the rest of the day.
After 2PM, when it was time to head out of the venue, we had a group of our friends (or whoever else wanted to) meet us at a bar downtown for some extra celebrating. We didn't have to pay for more time at the venue, pay the silly amounts at a cash bar, and we all got to hang out in our wedding attire and party some more! Plus, our photographer was amazing and followed us out on the town too. Families got to get their kids back to hotels to nap, others from out of state got to explore Milwaukee, and still others could travel home at this point. It was great! The Villa overlooked Lake Michigan, so apparently a good amount of people went to check that out too. Again, no one left the wedding feeling exhausted, and that was a huge plus.
After we met our friends, Tom and I jumped into our car (wedding clothes and all - I thought it was romantic), and drove to Chicago where we stayed overnight and flew out to Cancun in the morning. We got to the hotel in the late afternoon, changed, and had dinner at the hotel restaurant (Bar Louie). We both ate dinner in disbelief that we had gotten married just hours before...and it was the most relaxing nacho platter dinner I've ever had. We always think back to that dinner and I am so glad we have such a serene memory from our day. We went to bed at a normal hour, got up for yet another calm morning, and leisurely got on our flight to Mexico. It was perfect.
6. The time makes everything cost effective.
A few things made our wedding far less expensive than the average priced wedding of today.
- It was off season - April.
- Booking the church was simple because it was at 9:30AM. Another wedding could book in the afternoon if necessary... or if there was a Saturday church service, it wasn't interrupted.
- Same for the venue - another wedding could technically happen once we left by 2PM, thereby giving them an opportunity for more money.
- SAME with the food! They simply catered a (lovely) brunch and could still use their staff for an evening wedding! From our planning there was a significant cost increase for a dinner vs. a brunch.
- We only had wine and champagne, and we were only charged for however many bottles got opened... which was not a lot, because who really guzzles champagne at 11AM?
Looking back, Tom and I still cherish the day. Obviously, every single day after our wedding has been full of even more love and happiness. Probably the best thing I took away from that beautiful brunch was not a wedding... but a marriage... a husband... MY husband.
Did anyone else do a morning wedding? Let's hear about your day!
Would you ever consider doing this but you don't know where to start or what questions to ask? Comment below! I'd love to help!
Milwaukee Adventures // Part 3
I'm the WORST these days. We were in Iowa one weekend, Up North another weekend, we had friends in town from out of state, and the list goes on...
But how about I give you a more exciting list, ehh?
Here's my third installment of the adventure series - and take note, because one of these is an AWESOME annual event that is happening this coming weekend! In fact, let me plan the most PERFECT Sunday for you. On June 22nd, just plan on this itinerary. You won't regret it!
First of all, you need to start your day off with an absolutely amazing cup of coffee. Anodyne Coffee Roasters is currently my favorite coffee joint. Their dark roasts are have such depth and arrays of flavor, just drink it black. They have locations in Bayview and Walker's Point, but I personally love their Walker's Point Roastery locale - seriously give these awesome people your business!
Hang onto your hunger for a few hours because next you need to go on your adventure. Side note, Thomas and I came upon this last year by complete accident. We were doing our usual putzing around downtown after church and the Milwaukee Air and Water Show was happening on the lakefront! It gets super packed, but the show is amazing! Helicopters upside down? Planes writing in the sky? You name it, it's there. It goes from 10-3, but just show up whenever and enjoy the people watching :) Oh, and be wary of parking, it's a zoo.
This gem. Ohhh this GEM. Be prepared to take this meal slow. Balzac is a wine bar just off of Brady St. Sundays, they have a deal for their wine - HALF OFF ALL BOTTLES UNDER $60. Thomas and I split a bottle between us and work on a good buzz. You are required (by me) to try their Sac Mac. It's mac'n'cheese like you wouldn't believe. Perfection. Everything else is small plates that are meant for sharing and you probably can't go wrong with anything on their menu.
If you're looking for some "heavier" food, try Stubby's Gastrogrub and Beer Bar. Cheese curds, nachos, flat-breads, wings, burgers...typical Wisconsin fare. But be careful how much you eat! We were full through the following morning!
After lunch, get back to the A&W Show or finish off your day with a walk or bike ride on the gorgeous trails found all over the MKE area.
Happy Adventuring!
Milwaukee Adventures // Part 2
Alright folks.
Here is another food and adventure list for you!
In the mood for an interesting beer? Maybe NOT one from Wisconsin?...or even the U.S.? Head over to Rumpus Room (a Bartalotta restaurant!). The atmosphere feels intimate and reserved while serving up their high quality drinks and food, but it's also super relaxed and their service in superb and friendly. Expect bar food, but amped up to gourmet. Their menu will seriously knock your socks off. (Ummm you can order bacon as a snack??)
Maybe you're more in the mood for wine. The Ruby Tap let's you grab a glass, and fill it up a little, a little more, or a lot and pay for only what you fill to...hence the "Wine on Tap." Try all sorts of wines or just find a favorite! Add some of their truffle popcorn or some incredible meats and cheeses to please your palate. Fill out your own menu sheet, hand it to the waitress and she'll bring you your personalized order in just a few minutes.
Sometimes I get in that mood where I don't know WHAT I want to do...I just know I don't want to be in the house anymore. In that case, grab some take-out or a pizza and find your way to Big Head Brewing Company. They're basically just a micro-brew in a big garage/warehouse. Buy a flight of their awesome brews, pick one of their many board or card games from a shelf, and watch whatever game is on. Then head over to the other room and play a game of bags, enjoy the free pinball machine, or throw a few free darts. Whatever you're in the mood for, Big Head will be a pleaser.
This week's adventure is...*drum roll*.........the Racine Lighthouse!
There is a small museum there that is open from 10AM - 4PM on Saturdays. You get a gorgeous view of Lake Michigan and the lighthouse is just a great sight to see up close! Not far from the lighthouse are a bunch of great trails for hiking and being "nature-y."
Hope these give you some inspiration for adventuring! Happy Sunday!
Milwaukee Adventures // Part 1
So I've mentioned in previous posts that Tom and I have become a couple of Milwaukee foodies. This place is the best kept secret in the Midwest for its foodie culture, and we are digging in! Milwaukee Food Tours does a great job shedding light on the hidden gems of this city.
On that note, I've decided it's time to start a series.
Not only will I include some short reviews or recommendations on restaurants, but I'll also offer a few tidbits on what to do! We aren't big spenders and tend to find adventures in everything we do, so I'll share a few of those secrets with you...some mostly free date ideas!
This blog post idea came on when a girl from work made a comment on how I always find such cool places - so I threw together a little Milwaukee adventure list for her (knowing she loves some good date ideas) and then decided it was blog-worthy info.
Welcome to Milwaukee Adventure Series - Part 1!
Ever wondered what Whiskey flavored ice cream was like? How about Balsamic Strawberry? Or Blackberry and Quark? Check out the 5th Ward for a taste at Purple Door Ice Cream! Their Salted Caramel is definitely a winner.
If you appreciate a strong cup of joe, like we do, Valentine Coffee Company is an absolute must. Every cup is single pour brewed...to perfection.
Need some yummy American-fare? The Wicked Hop has a burger that's sure to please and a bloody (that I have yet to try) that'll have you coming back for more. Check out their menu online and try not to let your mouth water.
For a fun adventure - we discovered that with a Student ID, you can go to the ticket counter at the Marcus Center for Performing Arts a couple hours before the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra plays and pay only $12 for any seat in the house. A perfect excuse to dress up a little and feel cultured!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Choose Your Words
This has been a recent topic of my mind in the last few days.
Choose your words. Choose how you say them. If they are not constructive, don't say them. Build up others with your words, don't tear them down.
Everyone learns this lesson many times over in their lives. I tend to learn it more often than most...sharing things is therapeutic for me. I love to share everything about everything. And I put my foot in my mouth...a LOT.
Many people have made me feel lesser for being that way...until one day I had this very short discussion with a guy friend in college, and I never forgot what he said.
I apologized to him, because I was being my usual overly-curious, over-sharing self.
"Sorry," I said, "I'm too open and blunt basically all of the time"
"Joy, that's okay..really," he said, "You're like an open book...with BIG print and PICTURES! It's not a bad thing at all!"
I had never thought that part of my personality was a positive thing. Most people keep things to themselves and don't ask a lot of questions. They leave it to themselves to discover things. I'm brimming with curiosities. Google doesn't know why such-and-such a person is the way that they are - I need to ASK! Haha..I can't help it.
And when I'm frustrated or worried or confused, I VENT! If I keep my thoughts ALL to myself, I go nuts - sometimes the encouragement and advice of other people is what I need to give me more to sit and think on and decide how to handle that emotion or situation. If I let myself be frustrated for 24 hours and vent about it, by the next day, I have a great new outlook and better attitude.
When I'm alone in my thoughts, only anger builds. Bitterness. Hardness of heart.
But you know what, sometimes you have to realize, that not EVERYONE is the RIGHT person to throw your concerns on. I can spill it to God, my husband, my sisters, my mom, and best friends...heck, even my dad and brothers!
These are people who will pray for me, love me, and always always encourage me. They'll let me feel how I need to feel, because they know I'll get over it soon enough.
So then comes this song. As something was weighing on my heart as of late, I heard this song out of nowhere. Sometimes, I need to just bite my tongue, because someone already hears the concerns and anxieties of my heart...my Savior!
There is a time and place and certain persons that I need to remember are okay to word-vomit to, and again, this song was exactly what I needed to hear. My next personal development item is to learn to keep quiet! There is beauty in being an open book with big print and pictures, but there is tact in shutting up too.
Here are some of the lyrics - which, since it's Relient K, I'm sure they're talking about their Savior.
Yeah I gotta keep quiet quiet
Listen to your voice
Because the power of your words
Can repair all that I destroyed
And when I finally do
Let it come from you
The peace of understanding grips my soul
You're the reason I
Have meaning in this life
Is so I swallow all my pride
And give you control
I give it all to you
And I gotta keep quiet quiet
Don't let it all come undone
'Cause if I dare open my mouth
It'll just be to bite my tongue
Do you ever struggle with foot-in-your mouth syndrome? Thankfully, I have friends who have this syndrome too :) Looking back to laugh always helps.
One Year Married
I really cannot believe that Tom and I have been married a whole year. In the grand scheme, yeah, a year is short. But I feel like we've been married for like 4 months - does time progress in marriage?? It's really so wonderful though, and we have already been on a great adventure of marriage together. It's fun to figure things out with someone - there are gives and takes and joys and disappointments and it all converges into such a beautiful thing. I get to share in this guy's life....for the REST of his life! And there has hardly been a dull moment. I swear, friendship is the key to marriage (because obviously I know soooooo much about marriage now that we've been together a WHOLE YEAR!). Seriously though. Tom and I were joking, teasing, good talks, and funny story telling friends before we ever even dated. That friendship grew into more, but the FRIENDS part remained.
Anyways, to celebrate our first year...of course...it mostly involved food.
We're going to become such food and wine snots before we know it.
We didn't do legitimate gifts (okay, Tom got a couple bottles of rye and bourbon, and I get to take myself shopping), but overall, we really enjoy experiences more than THINGS.
So Friday, we made steak and twice baked potatoes to go with a 2009 Italian import red wine that my CEO gave to us for our wedding last year. We saved it just for this occasion, and wow. It was amazing.
Saturday we took a trip to the Basilica of Saint Josaphat in Mil-town because I've never seen it. I adore historical architecture, so it was amazing to finally see it. Breakfast included french press coffee and monkey bread. Oh! And we got BRAND new phones and a new carrier!
Sunday we went to church, spent the afternoon at the mall (happy wife!), drove up to Port Washington where we were supposed to eat at The Pasta Shoppe.....but as I was getting out of the car, I dropped my BRAND NEW phone on the ground and the screen shattered. Soooo we drove BACK to the mall (the nearest T-Mobile) and they were randomly closed an hour earlier than usual. So in between my tears, we decided on a place near downtown Milwaukee and split a bottle of wine. Then we took a walk by the lake and FINALLY headed home. It was a long, fun, very eventful day.
I'll leave a trail of pictures so that this doesn't get long-winded....but cheers to my husband for an incredible year of marriage.
Making Your Legacy
Irma and Gerhard Aho
My sweet grandmother passed away this week. She had been on hospice care, was 87 years old, and slipped out of this life peacefully while she slept. She was classy, enchanting, and so devilishly mischievous. She will be missed, but sooooo many memories of her live on through her 6 children, their spouses, and her 20-something grandchildren.
As my mother and I both agreed, as Christians, death is not really all that sad. There is so much hope and comfort in knowing that your loved one was a child of God and always witnessed their faith like it was second nature. Even only a few years ago, before her health had degraded so much, she used to tell my mom "If I pass tonight, don't be sad for me, children, don't be sad." She knew that WE knew she would be going home to her Savior.
My grandmother was always dressed so beautifully, not a piece of jewelry out of place or a tiny high-heeled shoe off her foot. She had a grace and poise like no other woman I've known. Always very calm....unless you played Scrabble with her and tried to make up a word.
She was the only grandparent I ever really knew. My other grandmother passed away when I was about 5, and both of my grandfathers were gone before I was even born. She was my example of aging gracefully, and she left me with such a wonderful example at that. Physically, there was hardly a wrinkle on the soft skin of her face. I don't think I heard her raise her voice ONCE. Not even when she scolded us grandchildren for not obeying our parents or for not mixing our food (okay Grandma, you were right...mixing your food DOES taste better). Her quiet firm tone was always enough to put us in our place. I don't know, maybe my other naughtier siblings had more wrath than me..but personally I was never yelled at. But I didn't poop my pants and then hide behind a tree like my brother. I hope she yelled at him for that..haha!
She was the essence of a lady. HOWEVER, she knew how to play a good prank. Her children can recall these stories for you. Like turning all the clocks back in the house to make her children think they were ALL late for school. She watched them all flying in and out of the bathroom and try to get their breakfast and wash their faces...annnnd then quietly sat back and said "April Fools........you all have an hour." I'm quite sure her quiet sassyness made its way through the gene pool, ask my husband.
Today, I feel so honored to have known such a lady. Though I didn't have the time with her I wish I'd had, I have so many little things to take away from the legacy she left:
- To love my Savior as she did, putting all my trust in Him.
- To greet people in the morning with made-up songs about how happy you are to see them.
- To give big hugs that also included a "love slap."
- To keep your voice and demeanor pleasant.
- To remember my beautiful Finnish roots.
- To make recipes she made as a wife and mother.
- To eat slowly and enjoy my food (I can't guarantee this one)
- To love my children deeply.
- To serve my husband diligently.
- To tease.
- To sit up straight.
- To mix my food and love Hagen Daz.
- To sing about everything: Cooking, children, bed time, etc..
- To keep my hair out of my eyes and also not to rub my eyes.
- To be kind to others.
- To love and respect my parents.
- And to never, ever lose faith in the Lord. He is what we should always cling to.