The Office Spouse vs. The Home Office Spouse
How many of you work from home, or have a spouse that works from home?
This was a new endeavor for Tom and I when we moved to Georgia last year.
Previously, in Wisconsin, we both had the typical 9-5. We left for work within 10 minutes of each other, and arrived home within a 10 minute span too. We had weekends together, holidays had to be planned based on PTO availability, appointments were made in early mornings or evenings, and so on. We got used to the routine of it all, but honestly, it felt TOO routine after two years. It felt like we were always "working for the weekend." Every weekday evening was a welcome zone-out from the pressures of the day, and we were more than happy to make dinner together and veg.
Now, I work from home. I make appointments during the day, meet Tom for spontaneous lunches, and our time off is unlimited (so thankful he has a job that allows that freedom!).
The everlasting problem of this Office Spouse vs. Home Office Spouse thing is downtime.
Now, Tom comes home from the office with that need to zone-out, but some nights (not super often), I get an urgent desire to just get OUT of my office. I've tried to compromise by doing something free, but a change in scenery. Like going for a drive together, walking around an outdoor mall, etc... but it never lasts long because I have a tired husband on my hands. I want to respect his needs for relaxation while meeting my needs of restlessness. I save us money by having all my meals at home, scrounging for what we have that doesn't require lots of cleanup. Then, Tom comes home and we have dinner... at home... while catching up on a Netflix show. I'm not complaining, because eating-in really does save money, but what does one do about that cabin fever?
I've tried working from coffee shops, until I've suddenly spent $20 in one week on coffee I can get at home. I try to get out during the day (errands and such) so I'm less restless by the evening, but then that leaves me working into the night. Plus, I tend to do my best, most productive work first thing in the morning and into the afternoon, so doing errands during that time can throw me off. I've also tried to implement an after-work walk, but dinner usually trumps that, followed by a digestive resting hour (haha)... not to mention his workload might put him home at varying times throughout the week so you can't count on a certain time.
How does one balance the office spouse/home office spouse thing? Are you in a similar situation? Would love your thoughts or ideas!
Naples, FL // Mother's Day
Mother's Day is still a week away, but I couldn't help giving a little run-down of the recent trip I took to Florida to keep my mom company for a few days. She and my dad DROVE to Florida for a three week getaway. However, my dad, still a busy-bee in his retirement, had to take a trip to Kenya for the dedication of a much needed library there. During that week, my sweet mama didn't want to sit on the beach by her lonesome, so since I'm only a short flight away, I went to join her in Naples. We had such a wonderful time together. As I've mentioned before, she and I were a known travel duo in our family. Being the youngest, I got to visit all my older siblings and skip school. Let me tell you, becoming an aunt at age 13 had some serious benefits! My mom and I are both very organized and like to prepare for anything... so we think of everything you might possibly need at the beach and where exactly to pack it. We're freakishly in tune to one another's organizational skills. Haha... guess she trained me to organize the same way as her.
We mostly just laughed the entire trip and people-watched like nobody's business. My mom was worried (of course) about my face and shoulders which burned immediately on day one, so the following day she bought me this ridiculous visor from a CVS and made me wear it. It was so awkward, we decided to make fun of it in pictures and send them to my aunts. Basically, it was just a placemat cut into a half circle and sewn onto some fabric. Here was the result of the weird thing..
Original form (modeled by mom), baby bonnet, loin cloth, bib, and boogie board.
Amazing product, amiright? It was worth the $7 just for the entertainment, I think.
Below is a little photo tour from day one, to the end.
Mom, thanks for falling over in the surf, and continuing to let waves roll you over so I could hold your hand and laugh. I am glad I could try and listen to you angrily worry about dad, and try to keep you calm about it. Nearly peeing our pants over that weird cat almost STILL makes me pee my pants. You driving me around because I was sleepy/grouchy and playing my childhood lullabies to lull me sleep, was about the funniest thing I've witnessed in a long time. And last, but certainly not least, thank you for teaching me how to properly people-watch. I had such a wonderful trip with you, as always. Happy mother's day, mama - love you!
House Buying // Part 7
Part 7: Moving Right Along
In my last update, I told you that our offer was accepted (out of multiple offers) and we would start our due diligence immediately. Now we are at the end of our due diligence and the financial side is falling into place. The appraisal and inspection have both been done and now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty.
Here's what happened:
- The day our due diligence started, I had to turn in our earnest money check to be held in an account by my Realtor.
- Then, I had to schedule an inspection of the home ASAP. Two days later, I met the inspector at the house and we walked through the exterior and interior and he pointed out anything that wasn't up to code or would be in need of replacement. He showed me areas where improper drainage could cause future damage, where an extra rail should be placed for safety, and he even discovered that the doorbell doesn't work! This was about 3 hours long, and my realtor showed up for the last part so we could all go over the items we would ask the sellers to fix before they go. This was honestly a really good learning experience and I'm really glad I went along to see everything he assessed. Overall, there wasn't much to report and the house was truly in amazing shape! The next day we received the inspection report that broke down every minor issue.. complete with pictures. There was a wiggly toilet and a couple small electrical issues that we ended up asking them to fix, and we'll have to wait and see if they'll take care of those or decide to leave them on us.
- Next we met with our loan officer to get our loan to an underwriter. Basically we just had to provide a bunch of legal documents (paystubs, tax forms, etc...) and sign a stack of papers. She wrote up our loan based on the price we offered, but it would depend on the appraisal outcome.
- The final piece was the appraisal. This was very stressful because we were CERTAIN it would appraise for $10,000 less than what we offered, based on the prices of the neighborhood. This would be bad, because your loan is based on the appraisal and they won't loan you more than what the house is actually worth. In the case that it appraised too low, we would have to negotiate with the sellers to bring the price closer to the appraisal, but if they didn't bring it down low enough, we would have to bring more cash to the table... which we probably wouldn't have been able to. Then, we'd lose the house and the costs of inspections, etc.. that we had already put into it. So the wait for the appraisal was very nerve-wracking.
While I was gone this last week on vacation, our loan officer called to let me know the results of the appraisal........ and it came back at the list price! This means that our offer was right on the money and our loan is being written up for the exact right amount. This couldn't have been more perfect! Praise the Lord!
Now, our due diligence is over and we are really, actually buying this house. It seems like a dream! Our close date is in June and until then, we basically just sit back, wait on our loan to be processed, and decide on paint colors ;) Thank you all for your prayers and continued support! Tom asked me what I'll write about once this is all over, and then quickly injected "House Decorating Journey?!" So maybe I'll have to try my hand at DIY again, afterall (even though I swore it off because I'm terrible at it). But again, until the keys are in hand, this house isn't ours!
Those of you with homes, what did you do during this wait? Should I start packing?! I'm thinking it's time to purge some of our things or sell them online.
37 Things You Only Know If You Grew Up In The Iowa Great Lakes
I might be all grown up and married, living life far away from the homeland, but if there is one thing my heart knows backwards and forwards, it's the Iowa Great Lakes. Here are 37 things that you would only know if you grew up there:
- The University of Okoboji is not a real university.
- You have had to correct a tourist's pronunciation of "Okoboji" (Oh-koe-boe-gee) more than one time in your existence.
- Only first-timers to the IGL swim in East Lake. The rest of us know the algae will give you swimmer's itch. Pssht. Rookies.
- Oh, yeah, there are actually tons of summer tourist's in the Northwest corner of Iowa. It's basically the Iowa version of the Wisconsin Dells. Just a lot smaller... and probably prettier. No one outside the state will believe you when you tell them you're from a "tourist town in Iowa." Unless they have family that owns a lake house there.
- The 4th of July in Okoboji is the single best celebration in the Midwest.
- Winters in the IGL are certainly quieter, but still full of great events. The Winter Games on frozen West Lake, for example.
- At least once, you probably got stranded at a friend's house during a blizzard because your parents didn't want you to risk driving home... as if this was a bad thing. Sleepover on a school night?
- Even though Spirit Lake and Okoboji are rival schools, everyone still had friends at the other. You either worked together at Hy-Vee or an area restaurant, your parents worked together, or you were actually neighbors.
- You probably had a teacher who was married to another teacher in the same school. In fact, there were a lot of teaching spouses.
- Uh oh, car broke down? Take a tractor to school, son.
- You had at least one friend who lived on a farm or in the country.
- Nothing to do? Wal-Mart.
- Using the bike trails to get to the beach/movie theater/work was typical.
- Okoboji got a late start... wait for it.... SPIRIT LAKE TOO! (or vice versa)
- Of course you had Minnesota friends, they were 15 miles away!
- Every fancy/celebratory dinner = Minervas
- If you had to choose the summer traffic on Highway 71 through Arnold's Park or slick winter roads, you'd probably choose winter roads.
- Boats, booze, bikinis: summer summarized. Except you were probably working more often than not, while all the tourists got to enjoy it.
- Tropical Sno: Making up a flavor and naming it.
- Blue Bell Ice Cream is for the South. Up here, we have Blue BUNNY. #LeMars
- Also, Nutty Bars are a staple. These are not a Little Debbie treat, either...
- Taco House season opening FTW!!!
- If you didn't have an ice fishing house, your best friend did.
- Cruising Lakeshore Drive is a windows-down-ride only.
- Didn't you know? Harrison Ford has a house on it... #rumors
- "Mom, I'll be at the waterspill watching the carp"
- Hey! Good Cookies ice cap? Who needs Starbucks..
- Great Lakes Cinema 7: Only worth it if the movie you want to see is in one of the stadium theaters.
- The Abby Gardner Museum will tell you about the massacres on our land. And scalpings. It was a typical field trip... one in which you always hoped you would somehow spot an arrowhead in the surrounding dirt.
- Santa comes to our radio station every year for gift requests from kids who call in.
- Oh, there's a tornado warning? Let's all watch the sky on the porch!
- Bonfires every.single.weekend.
- "K-U-O-O Oooooookoboji!"
- Sunsets in 'Boji are unbeatable.
- Riding on "The Queen" is not nearly as fun as whipping past it on a wave runner.
- "Cruising the Loop"
(I was a loop-hater, but if I DID cruise the loop, I jammed out to all the wrong songs. Such as Elvira by the Oak Ridge Boys (which I just discovered is like a really gross song). It was just better if I didn't go to the loop) - When you go home to visit, anywhere you go, you'll know at least one face. There's no place like home.
Growing up in The Iowa Great Lakes was so memorable and came with such a tight-knit community. Though I've moved all the way to Georgia and will not be giving up the sunshiny, warm weather anytime soon, those summers on the beach of West Lake will always have a place in my heart.
Why We Love IKEA
When I say "we" I do not mean Tom and I... I mean you. And everyone else. E'rebody in the club. Lemme tell you whyyyy we all love that big blue and yellow.
1. It's overwhelming.
As you walk in the door and grab your tiny wooden pencil and complementary map, you're sure this will be a calm, stress-free cruise through the aisles. You're going to keep your wits about you, this time. But suddenly, you hit the showroom floor and realize they have your own personal style down to a T... along with all the other kinds of styles you could imagine, and maybe those styles can work for you too!?!?! IT'S SO EXCITING! LET THE FRENZY BEGIN!!! Throw care to the WIND!
2. It's cheap.
"A frame for $5.99? I need 10. Candles for $2? I'll take 20, you know, for next year... and as gifts. Salad spinner for $3... yep. Drawer organizer. Pack of hand towels. Little vases. Fake potted plants. Ohhhh new mugs?! Outdoor chair cushions? Not sure if they'll fit my current outdoor chairs... but I don't want to make the trip back here. Better just grab 'em!"
3. Their food is kind of off-putting, but oh-so-good.
You look at those little dished up cakes or whatever and you aren't entirely sure if they're fake, plastic models, or if they're the real thing. The line is so efficient, though, so it's moving super fast and you get pressured to keep scooting along... so you just grab it, only half sure if it's food or not, but whatever. Then you sit down with those meatballs and you realize IKEA food is the highest quality product in the whole store.
4. They make you think about the future.
Don't have kids? Well, you're planning on having them in five years, and look how cheap those stuffed animals are?! Umm cute kiddie organizing shelves? Probs need that. IKEA has got my neeeeeeds. Also, maybe your next apartment needs a portable kitchen island... better safe than sorry!
5. If you're an IKEA veteran, you know where the secret shortcuts will take you.
Lucky you. You can B-line it to textiles and skip the kitchen showroom, because you my friend, are a star. Forget something that's across the store? No biggie, you know there's a secret passage behind that duvet cover.
6. You get to run a marathon in the warehouse.
Except it's probably harder than a marathon because you have to push a giant, wobbly, flatbed. Which, if they run out of flatbeds for any period of time, and people wait by that distributing area just in front of the warehouse, there is a slight potential that you could be stampeded trying to grab the first one available. People get their claws out for that part.
7. Waiting in line gives you time to regret anything you grabbed.
This is the last call to take things off your cart that you grabbed in a frenzy. It's in that quiet 10 minutes, when you realize there is no place in your house for the three artistic lamps you picked up along the way. Also, in this moment of purging you get a twinge of stress that causes you to grab a couple rolls of those round chocolates that having nerve-calming capabilities.
8. You get to work a race-track-pit in order to leave.
"Honey, you bring around the car, I'll hold this spot in the loading zone!" A real-life game of Tetris and you've got everything loaded. You finally race down the garage ramps to freedom.
9. More Tetris at home... basically IKEA is just a game.
The time has come to put everything together. Between the wooden toggles and super specific screws, you race to finish getting your kitchen chairs setup. Now, your home looks like a perfect IKEA showroom *back-pat*
10. IKEA makes it home.
Yep, I got all sappy. It's true. Even with the stress of actually shopping there, the cheap, stylish workings of IKEA help your home feel like home. Just add the people (and maybe a Swedish meatball dinner) and it's HOME. IKEA, we love/hate you. Thanks.
Also, here is a Vine I took of my sister in the frenzy stage of IKEA shopping. You'll hear the phrase "SO CHEAP!"
House Buying // Part 6
Part 6: Offer Accepted! Lay on the Stress!
In my last update, we were dealing with a denied offer, a day full of disappointing showings, and our begrudging return to the hunt. But people, I am a story-teller and I refuse to disappoint.
So here's what's happened:
- We picked ourselves up from the day of terrible, disappointing showings and kept checking every single listing that popped on the market... within MINUTES of it coming on the market. I mean it when I say this is a part-time job. It has been detrimental to be one of the first showings on a good house.
- A house came up on the market on Tuesday afternoon. Tom and I looked it over and got pretty obsessed. In fact the texting convo to the right was our reaction. So I emailed our Realtor twice in 3 minutes and told her we wanted to see it ASAP... and then I also texted her to make sure she REALLY knew the extent of our craziness.
- She got us a showing the following day (Wednesday) and it was exactly as we'd hoped. Perfection. However, we knew others had SOMEHOW seen it before us. So we put in a really strong offer before the day was out, to which they had 24 hours to accept or deny.
- Thursday, we waited and waited and WAITED. Somewhere after 24 hours had passed, we FINALLY got word that they had received multiple offers and they wanted everyone's highest and best by Friday at 5pm. We decided our first offer was truly the strongest we could do, so we left it the same, not knowing how many others we were against. People, we offered their list price, and we assumed others went over. This is actually really common in the market here and in other cities.
- Thinking they would get the offers and choose the highest one, we expected to hear something before the end of the day or in the morning on Saturday. Nada. Fearing we would lose this beautiful house, I wrote the owners a heartfelt letter praising them for taking such immaculate care of their home and property. I complimented them and then explained that we were looking for our first home and yada yada yada. Guys, I went ULTRA cheesy and talked about our future children and how I really want to raise them in this home. I put my heart on my sleeve, but admitted that I understood it has to come down to their best financial choice. I had my Realtor pass on the letter and let it be.
Late that night, our Realtor called and asked if I was with Tom. She told me to put her on speakerphone because OUR OFFER WAS ACCEPTED! Another offer would have netted them more money, but we have a flexible closing date (and I wrote the world's sweetest letter), so we won! We are over the moon excited and grateful!!!
So now the clock starts ticking. Our due diligence starts tomorrow. This means we have to officially put down our earnest money, meet with our loan officer and see what they can officially work out for a loan, and get an appraisal and home inspection done (which, for the sake of transparency adds up to 1K or more that the buyer pays out of pocket... and if you end up deciding the property needs too much work, won't appraise near enough to your offer and the sellers won't negotiate down, you just lose that money and never see it again... just FYI). Once you find out its actual worth or any issues it has, you negotiate that the seller needs to fix this or that, or they need to bring down the price to come closer to appraisal. All this happens in only TWO weeks or less.
This is all very exciting and we definitely spent Saturday night talking about how we'd decorate it and where we can put our furniture... but anything could happen and we or they could choose to back out. If we end up needing to renegotiate and one side or another doesn't budge, that could cause this train to leave the station. Hopefully that doesn't happen, but we need to keep it in mind. The house isn't ours until the keys are in hand!
Thanks so much for reading along (this was super wordy, sorry) and please send us your prayers that all goes smooth and without a hitch!
Any advice for this point? Something we should remember to look for while walking through with an inspector? Something we shouldn't forget to do? Breathe perhaps??
House Buying // Part 5
Part 5: Are we going backwards?
In my last update, we started showings and were trying to decide what's worth making a fuss about and what is easy to "deal with" after buying a home. Well, after another weekend filled with showings, that question has yet to answer itself. Haha! As I say every time, a LOT has happened in the last couple weeks... this time more-so!
Here's what happened:
- After our first weekend of showings and nothing too impressive, a house popped up on the market and we rushed to see it. Our showing was splendid and we loved the house (huge kitchen, screened-in porch, large fenced in yard, super well-maintained, and loads of character). That evening, we thought long and hard and talked about it for hours. The market here (and apparently everywhere, so it seems) is a fast one. There is no time to look at a house, decide you like it, and then compare it to another home a week later. A good house is listed, then gone by week-end. We put down an offer over Easter weekend... and so did someone else. They took the other offer and we were put back on the hunt. A good rule of thumb is to keep emotion out. Yes, you need to like it, but this is really just a major business transaction, so we're keeping that in mind. Makes the break less painful when your offer is denied... we were bummed, but there's always more. Also, take note that Tom and I are not looking for our "dream home," but instead something to start off with and grow out of.
- Right away after that, we sent our Realtor nine listings and had her see which ones were still available (she had told us in the past that we should expect that out of a group of listings, half of them will probably be spoken for). We ended up with five lined up to see that weekend following our denied offer. We don't mess around, people. Haha. We were in the car for over two hours, driving from one house to the next. Overall, it was overwhelming and mostly disappointing. Here is how I described each home to our Realtor in an email afterwards:
1. Loved the updates, hated the distance and neighborhood.
2. Loved the backyard and neighborhood, didn't care for the space itself, the price, or distance.
3. Hated hahaha.
4. Loved the land, potential, and location, hated the underlying problems, poor maintenance and smells.
5. Loved the potential, price, and well maintained space, hated the neighborhood, crime rates, and mismatched taste.
So here we are, still on the hunt and time dwindling down. Of course, in our disappointment we started wondering if we should raise our budget or settle and get a townhome instead. We really do like the interiors of townhomes, but it would mean giving up on a yard and continuing to share walls with neighbors... so many downsides (in our opinion). Our Realtor replied to my email, though, and offered encouraging words and confidence that we'll be able to find what we want in time... I so appreciate her saying that! We'll keep our chins up and continue scanning listings online (the bane of our existence).
This experience has been a great opportunity to learn. One thing in particular, I have learned in the overload of homes we've seen, is the need for a checklist. I made a rough one this last Saturday, so after each showing, we'd talk about the good and bad of each home in the car before reaching the next one.
Two Years Married
Two years ago I married this guy.
It was not the best day of my life. It was a beautiful, memorable day... but the best days of my life have followed.
In two years we have...
- Changed jobs and even careers
- Moved 800 miles away from where we started
- Learned how to argue and how not to argue
- Loved each other more with each day
- Felt homesick
- Constantly learned from one another
- Laughed every.single.day.
- Visited places neither of us have ever seen
- Dreamt about our future
- Started looking at houses together
- Met new, wonderful people
- Worshiped, prayed, and forgave
- And then loved some more
In a future post, I'm going to share my thoughts on the way the world perceives marriage. How it's been cheapened and battered and unappreciated. The world makes marriage look like a man with his tail between his legs and a woman with a wooden mallet. And that marriage makes you a shell of a person... how wrong that thinking is!
Being married to someone so wonderful makes life brighter, sweeter, and blessed. God gave me someone I can be myself with. Someone who challenges me to be a better person, friend, sibling, and daughter. He makes me laugh, and holds me when I cry. I am safe with my husband and he is always safe with me. There are many intimate conversations that are so unique to a married couple. Talking about your future together, making plans, noticing quirks, thoughtful actions and words... are all so interesting and beautiful in the friendship of marriage. In two years we have significantly grown and matured, but we have remained playful and light-hearted (personality traits that I think will always remain). I am so very, very blessed to be the wife of someone so loving and strong in character. Thanks be to God for such a blessed two years!
Our anniversary was actually on Monday. My parents were just in town, stopping through on their way to Florida, so this post is a little late. We dressed up and went out for seafood - Our dinner was full of laughs (of course) and we had a lovely time. As is typical, we ate too much and went into a food coma upon arriving home :) I'll just leave you with a couple snapshots:
