The Secrets Of Your Clean-Freak Friend
Have I mentioned this? I feel like I must have.
If not, I suppose it's time you know.
I am an anal-retentive clean freak.
Yes. I’m that friend. I’m the one whose home you step into and think, “obviously THIS chick doesn’t have kids” or “holy cow, there’s not even a crumb on the floor. How is that possible?” Now obviously, my cleanliness is far more extreme than most people's, so some of these secrets might be more of a guideline, but I believe they’ll give anyone a place to start or ideas of how they can incorporate a slightly cleaner facade (yes - cleanliness is totally a facade!).
And please, leave the “wait until you have kids” comments at the door. I know. But for now, let me revel, people. Also, I plan on keeping our children in bubbles (haha jokes, jokes).
So here,
we,
go.
1. Split it up
This is my number one secret to success. I do not “deep clean” but maybe twice a year. Have some tasks you do daily to keep up with clutter, weekly tasks that keep up with grime, and monthly - or quarterly - tasks that keep unnoticeable things from becoming noticeable.
Using my house as an example...
Daily: make bed (even if this just means straightening out the comforter and pillows a little), wipe off kitchen counters/sink area and wash/load all dishes at the end of the day, shove throw blankets in basket, put mail in designated spot, keep shower curtains closed and mat hung up, towels hung, chairs pushed in, clothes in hamper/hung up/put away.
Weekly: basic laundry, sweep/vacuum floors in most lived-in areas, quickly clean/disinfect surfaces in bathroom (vanity, mirror, toilet), wash all sheets and towels (don’t forget the kitchen hand towels!), clean stove top surface/microwave, thorough cleaning of dining room table and chairs, dust side tables/coffee tables/desks.
Monthly/quarterly: clean cabinet fronts/appliances, dust ceiling fans/light fixtures/tops of doorways/hanging art/decor/mantles/window frames, wet mop all hard floors/vacuum all carpets, wash comforters/duvets/throws, deep clean bathrooms, disinfect door handles/door fronts, once-over mirrors, vacuum curtains (if necessary), windows, etc…
All of these tasks take me around 10 minutes each. I almost never do several consecutively, and mostly just spot clean. The difference, is when I see grime beginning to build in the bathroom (for example) instead of letting it get worse, I take five minutes to wipe it up. Over time, this saves me HOURS.
2. Create functionality
Does your closet lend itself to easy, organized storage? Do you prefer to hang your clothes, but you’ve got a ton of dressers? Maybe you could reconfigure your closet to make hanging your clothes easier, and ditch the dressers all-together. Is there an area that has become everyone’s dumping ground for their bags, keys, receipts? Maybe you could incorporate closed storage nearby where you can stow those items away.
Walking into my house, you’d think everything has a place - which is mostly true - but behind door number one, you’ll probably find a mess of old mail. But I’ve tricked you into thinking it’s pristine by incorporating lots of functional storage. As a bonus, when my husband wonders where his keys are, 9 times out of 10 he'll find them in one particular cubby that I dump all of his stray items in.
It’s also wise to figure out if certain “pretty storage” is actually realistic for your home. Maybe you love the look of those square wicker baskets that fit those square shelving units perfectly… until little Jimmy sits on the basket one day and crushes it or spills his sticky apple juice into all the crevices and Spot the dog chews it to shreds. Maybe some cheaper, easy-to-clean plastic would work better for this stage of life?
3. Own less
Not everyone will be a fan of this one, and of course we all own things that make our individual lives easier (meaning, we all have different needs), but my perspective is simple: the less you own, the less you have to clean. The few items we do own, we take great care to make them last. No matter how cheap.
I was raised in a frugal home, and if we were flippant with a toy and it broke, it wouldn’t be replaced. Maybe for a birthday or Christmas, but it was our responsibility early on to take great care of the blessings we received.
As married adults, we buy things very intentionally. The things we own serve a purpose, have a sentimental meaning, or minimally add to the aesthetic of our home. This is the minimalist side of me speaking, but it certainly makes cleaning a lot more cut-and-dry without sacrificing tangible desires. We’ve simply lessened our quantity of needs/wants.
4. Let yourself get messy, but don’t let it ferment
If you were to come over on a Friday night around 9pm you’d see approximately four coffee mugs, two or three pots and pans soaking in the sink, a dirty napkin sitting on a cold plate of uneaten food from dinner, a cutting board with bits of veggies and a dirty knife, and a few pairs of shoes, items of clothing, and tech devices strewn around our living and dining room.
But.
Come at 11pm, and you’ll see a tidy, seemingly pristine home. Why? Because we don’t let anything fester. We make a mess, and then tidy up once our movie has ended or bedtime is close. Come Sunday evening, it’ll probably be back to messy, but by mid-morning on Monday it’s back to it’s shining glory and a load of laundry is going.
5. Purge!
Kind of along with owning less, but, still different. You may own less right now, but as time goes on we naturally accumulate a little more. Often times to replace something, or to make an area of life easier. The problem arises when we don’t regularly rid ourselves of the items that were replaced, have gone out of style, or serve no purpose/sentimental value. I know for a fact we have a drawer full of old phone charging cords that we could easily sort out and get rid of (as an example). Those cords are gathering dust and taking up a storage area that could be better served by something we own that genuinely needs a “place.” How many shirts do you legitimately wear? If your stuff is bursting at the seams and yet you keep buying more, it’s time to purge. And don’t be afraid of empty storage. Having an empty cabinet for a while can offer you a place to better organize what you already have. Options, baby!
Of course, everyone's definition or standard of cleanliness ebbs and flows at various stages of our lives, and your home is your home. It's where you gather, where you make memories, and where you feel safe. These are the most important things.
In fact, stay tuned for another post later this month on letting go of this anal-retentive nature as we welcome a very hairy puppy into our midst come January. It'll stretch me and force me to accept a new standard, but the joy this pup will bring will be priceless to me. But you better believe I'll learn some good cleaning tips to share with you when you have a dog!
Why We Don't Do Gifts
Christmas gifts. Easter baskets. Valentines. Birthday presents. Anniversary gifts.
These are the gifting occasions that come to mind for most people - give or take a few. I myself have incredibly fond memories of family birthdays and Christmas time. We had sweet traditions and the shrieks and squeals of delight caused by gift excitement was priceless. Gifts have a way of bringing such joy. Givers often feel an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness from the reactions of those they're giving to. It's a unique, thoughtful, and loving act. The novel surprise of the receiver and the opportunity for the giver to give, go hand-in-hand as one of life's most innocent joys.
However.
I am, by nature, not a "things" oriented person. Give me just about every other love language, but "gifts" doesn't even remotely make it into the running for me. Thankfully, my husband is not a "things" person either. Therefore the conclusion as to why we don't get each other gifts is simple:
My husband and I don't give each other gifts because they don't make us feel loved.
Below are a few observations we’ve noticed about gift-giving. At least when it comes to giving from spouse-to-spouse. Perhaps these are personal to us, but I wouldn't find it unusual if the general population of people noticed them too.
Kids + presents = joy in its purest form. This cannot be denied. The older you get, the less novel gifts become. Your reaction to opening them becomes rather routine and dulled. It's a natural progression.
When we need or want something we generally just.... buy it. Sure, we save for bigger items, and giftcards help us afford something we've been eyeing, but we take care of most needs and wants throughout the year.
It's easy to forget what someone gave you, but hard to forget a great memory that you’ve had because of them. When I think back to childhood (or even adult) Christmases I can only remember a small handful of gifts I received; but I easily remember who was home and the emotions of the day. You can't throw a memory away. Gifts, however, will eventually end up at Goodwill. I’m looking at you, Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer.
We're hard to buy gifts for. Is it just us? Maybe we’re too picky, but we’ve given each other some failed gifts, and the waste of money caused us to involve each other more when choosing things. Which brings me to my next point...
We discuss all our financial decisions and share a bank account. It's kind of hard to surprise your spouse when you can easily check credit card/bank account activity. And when you're dealing with higher priced items, it's part of the health of a marriage to discuss it, right?
We generally want/need less as time goes on. We have a roof over our heads, our bills are paid, we have regular dates, we travel occasionally, we each use some "mad-money," and we're clothed and fed. What tangible gifts could we really want? Maybe it's the minimalist side of me speaking, but God provides our daily wants and needs and anything beyond that, we view as excess (meaning: unnecessary).
Getting something new on our birthdays doesn't make us happier versus if we had received it any other day. One day, Tom surprised me with a new Mac. Just on some random day of the year. I really needed one, he saw that it had gone way down in price, came up with a good excuse to go to Best Buy, and bought me one while I was distracted in another department. Honestly, I think that was more exciting than had I received it on my birthday. We spend our birthdays enjoying an experience instead!
Over the last three years we have mostly forgone gifts between the two of us. Our birthdays have been spent doing something. Maybe we'll have a small gift to open on the day (though I don't think I could recall them), but what I can recall for certain is what we did, ate, or saw in celebration.
So, my husband and I don't do gifts because we don't show and feel love with them. We don't do gifts because we value each other's company and a shared memory more than an item. We don't do gifts because sometimes the need to buy a gift can lead to having something lying around that we don’t actually need. We don't do gifts because it's not "us."
We do life together, and that is such a gift every.single.day.
As a little disclaimer, for fear that this may sound pretentious or ungrateful, gifts are wonderful. Coming from other people, they are always appreciated, we are always grateful to receive them, and we try to enjoy shopping for other family/friends when the occasion permits. Again, this does not come naturally to us and causes more stress than joy sometimes, I must admit, but when we find the perfect thing for the right person or someone finds the perfect thing for us, it's such a joy. Helping someone get a big item they've been wanting for a long time is so rewarding, isn't it? There are always exceptions to a rule, and we have come across many. We've received plenty of items we wouldn't buy ourselves, but have improved our lives immensely - mostly coffee or kitchen related :) so please don't read this and think we're gift haters. "Things" are just something we think very little about - we're usually daydreaming about vacations or food. This post is about the relationship between gifts and our marriage personally, that maybe others can relate to as well!
November | 2016
Hello lovelies!
This month has been refreshingly calm. We've had several free weekends, few weeknight plans, and a general sense of a "calm before the storm." The next couple of months we have zero free weekends, so we've soaked up this past month pretty nicely, I think. Here's the happenings from our November:
- We had a ton of leftover Halloween candy, so Tom hid it all over our downstairs level one day while I was in the shower. I've been finding it in pockets, my purse, vases, drawer organizers, behind a wall clock (yeah, that was a lucky guess), and I'm still finding them. They're everywhere. And he's been laughing as I make an assessment from across the room like, "Oh. You put a handful in that vase. I can tell by looking at it because the flowers are placed differently than before." ... of course, he's laughing because I'm anal like that and completely spot on. Yes, there was candy in the vase.
- We got our cars washed. This seems trivial, but on our last roadtrip, I dumped orange juice out the window and it sprayed all over the passenger side of Tom's car and got all sticky and disgusting. He wasn't super thrilled with me about that, especially since I had claimed I had done this many times (liar).
- We met some friends at a festival in Atlanta and braved the public transit to and from. I'm weird and actually secretly love janky public transit systems, so it was a fun day with cold beer, good chats, and adventure!
- We had a spontaneous date night at the most precious Italian restaurant ever with live jazz music singers and the yummiest lasagna.
- I tried to dye my hair a shade or two lighter and nothing happened! It looks exactly the same!
- We saw Fantastic Beasts and were.... underwhelmed! Sadly. I think we need to snag the book to get a better feel for the story, but we thought the characters all desperately lacked dimension. There was very little dialogue, and when there was, it was so monotone that we couldn't really fall in love with the story-line.
- I spent a a few hours offering moral support to Autumn while she ran her first booth for Stay Gold Candles and we had a great time! She sold a good amount, and then we went to Waffle House (as usual haha). Seriously, guys, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but her candles are so amazing and make great stocking stuffers. Plus, I think it's important to support small business owners, so go check out her shop in the link above.
- We snagged a new king duvet and coverlet for our bedroom. This local thrift store carries old Target inventory that didn't sell, so it's all brand new!
- We had a wonderful Thanksgiving as just the two of us. We hung around in our own house, in our comfies, cooked together, and had a genuinely perfect day. Being able to ditch our snug pants after dinner was also a plus - haha! We've been wanting to do cornish hens for some time, now, so it was fun to finally try them. They turned out amazing!
- Stores started carrying Christmas inventory near the beginning of November, so of course my name is predominantly lit everywhere we go... much to my narcissistic pleasure.
- We casually bought a new vacuum on Black Friday to prepare us for a little four legged creature that will come home with us in a few weeks (more on that soon). Then we wandered into Sam's Club where I found a stuffed animal just my size (and no, we did not actually buy it).
- Finally... we got our very first DSLR and we are soooo elated with it. I used to dabble in photography as a hobby, but sold off my little digital camera in college when I needed money more. Then my sweet husband bought me a camera during our engagement, but I never really cared for it, so the poor thing hardly got used and we recently sold it. This new camera was a long time coming, I think, and now we're worried that we're going to have to buy TWO cameras because we have loved shooting with it already and may start fighting over it - haha! I'll post a little review of sorts later on, but if you look in my sidebar, you'll see the camera and one of the lenses we purchased (in case you might be looking for yourselves).
Click the images to enlarge
November was so fun and relaxing. It came with some high and lows, but more than anything I can't wait for January and I am dyingggg to tell you more, but I want to wait. "Fluffy, adorable, and giant" have something to do with it though!
links to explore
- Autumn just shared a hilarious story of some plumbing issues they recently faced and it had me cracking up. Let's just say it involved a lot of pee.
- I've had this song playing on our house speakers super loud for weeks. No regrets.
- This Youtuber absolutely cracks me up. She and her boyfriend are super hilarious and I get excited every time I see a new video by her.
- I love Erin's ideas for creating holiday traditions with your spouse!
How was your month? That busy time of year is upon us, and I've already got almost the entire month scheduled out. No free weekends, weeknights are filling fast, and travel. We look forward to what December will bring :)
When "No" Means "Yes" In Marriage
We've all been there. We've been caught up in the contest, and the pride, and ridden the high horse of it.
The "it" I'm speaking of, is busyness.
Our culture triumphs in words that tout about sleepless nights, hours spent immersed in projects, schedules that overflow, and how even amidst all that, we can still handle more... "of course, I'll be there" we say.
Children are riddled with lessons and practices, spouses maintain office hours beyond what's expected, and little time is left beyond a short meal together or a kiss goodnight.
Until one day it hits you. Like a ton of bricks.
"Why am I letting it rule me? Is it impressive to be this busy? Is it God-pleasing? Or has it become my god?"
Sometimes, it does become our own little-g god. Busyness has become a disease of a culture that constantly grapples for more. A culture that needs to prove something. But what exactly does it prove? In the midst of those days and weeks, or even months, when you're so busy you barely find the time to breathe, have you asked yourself that question and answered it rationally?
Maybe you think it proves determination and stamina.
To who?
To your husband who just wants to hold you for longer than ten minutes before hitting the hay? To your children who didn't get a chance to tell you about their day? To your wife who is drowning in piles of chores and schedules?
Sometimes the busyness is unavoidable, and to those days or weeks or months, I'm sending you a virtual high five and some encouragement to bear it with grace and patience.
What I'm really getting at, is a wake-up call.
It's okay to say no.
Sometimes saying "no" means saying "yes" to the people who matter most. It means saying "yes" to a one-on-one date with one of your children. It means "yes" to snuggling up with your spouse and watching your favorite show with your favorite snacks and laughing off a day's troubles.
We live in a culture where if we say "no" simply to make room for nothing, we're ripping everyone off. We're being selfish.
I'm writing this to say to you, FIGHT IT.
Fight against busyness and all its worthless pride. Who's busier is not a contest. And if it is one, it's one I'd rather lose.
I'd rather lose so that I can catch dinner out with my husband, instead of being the last one to leave the office to prove to no one in particular how dedicated I am. I'd rather "prove" my dedication to my husband.
I'd rather lose, because it does my soul more good to protect my time.
I'd rather lose, because it creates balance, stability, and room to be present instead of distracted.
There is a time and place for busyness, and it's not all bad - don't get me wrong. Busyness can be healthy, even. All I'm getting at in this wake-up call, is to remind you that you can lose the pride in it, and you instead gain the present ability to just. be. To just live in those quiet moments of uninterrupted togetherness.
Say no, my friends, because saying yes to your spouse and family will always be worth losing the busy contest.
Travel Playlist + Wishlist
Since you've heard me talk about restlessness, as well as ways to remedy this without constantly jumping ship, I thought I'd give you a playlist and a dreamy little wishlist of places to visit. Whether by plane, train, roadway, or boat, here are some places I hope to get to in the next century.
But first, some music to set the tone:
(Be aware, I'm big on indie, folksie music with a small smattering of pop. I really held myself back and somehow only included one Coldplay track)
Now for the travel wishlist:
Greece
This has always been my number one. I just feel like the culture, food, views, and history would suit my interests more than anywhere else. Photos of Santorini give me all the heart eyes.
The Italian, French, and UK countrysides
Sure, Rome, Paris, and London would be neat, but I have so much more fascination for the true culture of these places. I picture those larger cities as the equivalent of people visiting New York City and saying they've been to the U.S. They missed the plains, the mountain ranges, desert climates, etc... So if I visit these places, I want to see the real deal.
Alaskan cruise
Honestly, I have no desire to go on any other cruise. I've just heard the Alaskan cruises are phenomenal. They're the only ones I've never heard negative reviews on. Plus, I feel like the fish would be really delicious onboard.
India
Since moving to Atlanta, Tom and I have met a lot of people from India (and we've also fallen in love with their food). Since college, I have wanted to learn more about Indian culture, and we both decided a trip to India would be incredible. On one condition: we'd have to go with Indian friends who could show us real India. We would feel so lost and nervous without a guide of some sort (language barriers, etc..) so having a trusted person there to show us their home country would be fun. Probably for them too!
Australia and New Zealand
My mom was born in Australia so seeing that area would be really amazing. New Zealand, I gotta admit, because I'm a total nerd and I want to see all the Lord of Rings stuff. HAHA. Okay, and it looks so breathtaking.
The East coast of the U.S.
Now that we live near the East coast, I'm hoping we can roadtrip it all the way up through Maine one of these days! There are only about a thousand stops I'd want to make, but I think it would be such a memorable trip. Especially with that playlist!
Finland
I am half Finnish, and I have intense pride about it. Suomalainen sisu! This was a phrase my grandma taught us that is loosely translated into "Finnish guts" or "Finnish perseverance" and I love saying it :) I think the Finnish language is so beautiful and I can always tell when I hear a Finnish accent, because my grandma had one. Here's a video of some guy speaking in Finnish (I believe he's listing 101 reasons why being Finnish is great... but I could be wrong).
The Seychelles Islands
There are numerous beach destinations around the world, but The Seychelles have always drawn me in. It's definitely not the cheapest option, but I can imagine the views would be worth it!
I could add hundreds of other places, so maybe I'll have to release my destination wishlist in volumes. What about you? Where would you most like to travel?
Makeup Favorites : Volume 1
Hi guys!
I'm trying something out today just for kicks.
Little background:
I was looking at old pictures, and started to realize my "evolution of makeup routines." Like, I didn't wear a spot of foundation until late into college - as in, junior or senior year - so really, I've only been wearing a "full face" of makeup for about five or six years! And until recently, I have only ever used ONE brand/type of foundation.
(Can we take a moment to appreciate that dorm photo from just before my 21st birthday? Nothing but some eye makeup and concealer. Those were the days...)
So just for fun, I'm sharing with you the products I use every day, along with a time-lapse video of my routine. Sometimes I skip a step, sometimes I get a little more fancy, but this shows pretty well how I go about makeup right now. The products may change as soon as next month, but so far, I like what I've got. Most of it you can buy at Target or Walgreens, but I must admit, my beauty guru blogging buddy, Christine (Simply Stine), has shown me the dark side of beauty stores like Sephora, The Cosmetic Market, and Ulta. Haha - she's great though, and lets me take baby steps ;)
This will change. Just like it has already changed from six years ago, but even if just for my own reference, it'll be fun to see what happens as the years go on. Like what continues to work for me, what I get better at, and what I leave to the youths. I hope you guys enjoy! Leave me a comment and let me know if you'd like more like this.
I have oily skin, so you may notice in my routine that I use more powder based products, and fewer creamy ones. I've personally found that as the day progresses (or a couple of hours pass) my matte powder look turns dewy... which is fine with me! Creamy based products start to give me shine almost immediately, so I stay away from them since they never last long on me and start melting off.
Anyways, here's the product breakdown:
The order I use them:
- Face primer
- Foundation (with a latex free makeup wedge)
- Under-eye concealer
- Pressed powder
- Bronzer
- Translucent setting powder
- Eye primer
- Eye shadow
- Eyebrows and lower lash line (using shadow)
- Eye liner (upper lash line)
- Mascara
- Lipstick
If I had to choose some favorites, my Smashbox eyeshadow palette is up there. Even though it was far more pricey than I'm normally willing to spend, it's going to last me such a long time, I love the variety of colors that stay within neutral parameters, and it gives me so much to play with! Plus, I use it as a bottom lash liner and eyebrow filler. It rocks my face off. Literally.
My second favorite would be the tubal mascara. My lashes are not long, so I always tend to go for something lengthening. This literally creates "tubes" of mascara on your lash hairs. If you think it's a gimmick, when you wash your face, you can literally gently pull the tubes off and see them in your fingers. Sounds weird, but now I'm kind of addicted. HAHA.
Also, that dang ELF eye primer is THE BOMB. Since I started using it several years ago, I have never gotten a crease. It's amazing.
Here's a little time lapse of me doing my makeup exactly how I normally do:
Thanks for watching and reading, friends! This was fun for me to do, and I hope you enjoyed it - let me know in the comments!
Why The Ring Matters
Fellas, think of this scenario:
You probably have a dream car. It might even be relatively practical. Whatever it is, you are dead-set on having it one day and you are gonna keep it for life and wax it with a baby diaper (Ferris Bueller reference). Let's say it's the 2015 Chevy Corvette as seen below...
Fellas, think of this scenario:
You probably have a dream car. Maybe it's even relatively practical. Whatever it is, you are dead-set on having it one day and you are gonna keep it for life and wax it with a baby diaper (Ferris Bueller reference). Let's say it's the newest Corvette.
Now picture this:
One day, your wife pulls up in the driveway in something else.
It's a brand new Ford Fusion.
"Surprise!" she shouts.
This is the car you will drive everyday for the rest of your life. You are overjoyed! What an incredible surprise! You are overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness, and the car really is not only beautiful, but practical. It was an incredibly sweet thing for her to do and you love her even more for it.
... but you wouldn't have chosen that car.
You are not ungrateful in the slightest, but you quietly wish that she had taken your preferences into account. The surprise was stellar! But part of you feels a little sour that this is the car you have to drive for the rest of your life and it's not really your style. Of course you will graciously accept it, and you can't wait to take her on a trip with it... but having your Corvette would have made that thought complete. It's totally fine though, and you love it nonetheless because it's from your adoring, beautiful wife.
Okay.
Now put that scenario into an engagement ring scenario.
I am not saying all women are shallow about engagement rings. We really aren't. But there is no denying that some may dream about them and pick the kinds they hope to have someday. Like any person, we might even get our heart set on one.
Let me tell you a story.
Here are some photos of what Tom proposed to me with (left) and what he actually had for me (right).
We didn't go ring shopping together. We hardly even talked about rings at all....or engagement for that matter. I simply made a couple of hints towards what I did not like (the cut of the ring on the left I had made very clear was not my taste) and a couple of hints of what I did like. I never showed him pictures of my dream ring, and when he proposed, it blew me out of the water. It was a complete surprise. Had I gone ring shopping with him, I would have gotten my heart set on something, and then been disappointed if that's not what I saw when I opened the box. But that's just me.
I fully trusted him to get me the right style... until I opened the box and saw that first ring.
I'm not gonna lie. My heart saaannkkkk. He looked at me adoringly from across the table, beaming. I put on the ring and my mind was going a million miles a minute...
"Did he not have enough money? Did I push him to do this sooner than he was ready? Wasn't he listening when I said I didn't like this cut? In what world would I EVER say no? This doesn't matter. I LOVE HIM. There is no way I could ever say no... but how does he not realize that I would hate this ring? This is sooo not like him.. he knows me better than this! Oh nooo we don't have to get engaged now if you aren't ready, love!"
He watched me, knowing so clearly that this was the absolute wrong ring for me. He just haaaddddd to test me! Of course I would say yes. I knew it was just a ring. I loved him more than any silly old ring.
He looked at me and asked "Do you love it?" and I peeped out a lie, "Yeah, yeahhhh... I love it!"
Suddenly he dug into his shirt pocket and pulled out the other sparkler.
"Well then what am I going to do with THIS??"
(If you don't know Tom, he's a joker)
*relief*
He DID listen! It was the exact ring I had my heart set on and I never even showed him a picture. He just knew me well enough and picked up on my hints enough to figure out what I liked. The first ring was a $10 fake from K-Mart - haha!
Like the car scenario, it wasn't at all about being ungrateful or not overjoyed.
If you really love this person, feelings of happiness and excitement are most certainly going to trump any disappointment you might have in their ring choice.
While we're on the subject though, let me give you a few pointers to point both gentleman and ladies in the right direction:
Ladies,
leaving this all up to interpretation is going to lead to a ring you probably don't love. My advice? Pony up and say, "Hey, I'm not gonna push the subject any more then this, but can I just show you what ring I like? (Just a picture... no need to find the nearest store) I'd prefer you wouldn't guess or think you know what I like and then it's not. It's a big purchase and it would kinda stink for both of us if I didn't care for it, ya know?" By not making your preferences clear, he's left to interpret what he THINKS you like, which may not be accurate. In that case, sorry, but it's not his fault if you don't like it.
Guys,
listen to her. If you want to propose and she hasn't broken the ice on the subject, maybe she's waiting for you to ask. You don't have take her into the store with you (plus, there's no surprise in that), but ask her for some pointers and note them! Also, if you have the assumption that all "good" rings cost upwards of $20,000, think again. Below is a Tiffany and Co. engagement ring. Tiffany's is all crazy overpriced, right? How much would you guess it costs? At LEAST $10,000, right?
It's $2,950. Less than you thought, huh?
Don't be afraid of ring shopping, guys. It's pretty painless. And if she shows you a picture of a ring, she may be giving you hours of breakdown in precisely what she wants. Don't treat it like a "guide." Take me as an example: I did NOT want diamonds down the band, but I did want a halo. Almost all rings with halos have diamonds down the band. How Tom knew exactly what I wanted is a mystery to me, but I am not complaining.
All I'm trying to say is that this woman has to wear this ring for the rest of her life. If you had to drive one car for the rest of your life, you would certainly want it to be "you," so keep the same in mind when getting her an engagement ring. You wouldn't want her to spend thousands on that car you didn't like, would you? Same is true in the ring department. Who knows, maybe she would have even preferred something CHEAPER and there you are with a hefty bill and a girl that's a tad disappointed. Learn what she really wants, that's all I'm saying!
Please don't mistake this post for being materialistic or shallow. It's just something that Tom and I have talked about (I even gave him the car scenario before we got engaged and it kind of clicked for him) and I wondered if other couples have had the same scenario cross their minds.
I would have married Tom if he had given me a rubber band. It's the marriage that's important, not the ring... but I'll tell you this, I STILL thank him regularly for giving me the ring I wanted. I never look at it and wish it was different.
So, is it going to be the Corvette or the Fusion for you? :)
October | 2016
Hey guys!
I'm back with my monthly update for October! I don't have a video this month because things were a little too busy - which is also why I had a fewer number of posts. However, it has been an awesome month and I'm excited to share with you all the happenings. Here's what's been up:
- Went walking and brunching with my blogging buddies Alex (The Berger Bungalow) and Autumn (Stay Gold Autumn).
- Took a road trip up to Indiana for the baptism of our newest godchild, had a great time seeing our close friends and their families, and enjoyed some fall weather and activities.
- I continued on a solo trip to Minnesota and Wisconsin to spend some time at my parent's new house and to see my sisters for a couple of days. It was so precious to be together as the opportunity is rare and has never actually happened before!
- Before leaving the Midwest I got to indulge on a Pizza Ranch buffet with my mom. Hahaha - this may sound trivial, but it's a Midwest chain that I grew up on and it was fun to have it again!
- I baked my very first artisanal, no-knead, bread loaf! It was crazy simple and SO good. Here's the recipe.
- My darling husband turned the big 2-7 and we had a low key day... until December when we see the 49ers play! Neither of us have been to an NFL game, so we're very much looking forward to it.
- We almost got a pet guinea pig. It all happened so fast! One day I just really wanted to get a small pet, so Autumn met me at a Petsmart and long story short... I held one, Tom gave a very surprising go-ahead on the insane idea, and I nearly walked out of the store with the poor thing in a cardboard box. Thankfully Autumn and the worker talked me out of it, at least until Tom and I could give it more than a five minute thought, and as expected, we are no longer entertaining the idea of a pet... for now. Autumn and I had a pretty great laugh over the spontaneity though, and I'm pretty sure she's relieved for the poor thing (that is hopefully gracing a better prepared home by now).
- Started researching semi-pro cameras! From one crazy purchase to the next, right? This one is more realistic, though. Anyone have some camera recommendations? I lean towards the DSLRs, but Tom is leaning mirrorless. I'd love some tips or things to think about from my readers/photographer friends!
- We had a typical grocery shopping date night that ended in basically a cart full of junk food. I love being a grown-up with my best friend. The photo below of me running down the aisle over Tom's shoulder cracks me up. Because TOTS.
- Said we'd try being active morning people, and promptly woke up late the next day.
- Carved nerdy pumpkins (Tom's won a prize at his work!) and dressed as a hunter and a doe for trick-or-treaters (see my Instagram for more). We've never had trick-or-treaters, so we thoroughly enjoyed being home last night.
This was a month for the books. It was busy, but 95% of it was positive and fun. We've had some personal things going on lately that have been really difficult, but we're doing great otherwise (just being real). Also, I give MAJOR props to make-up artists. My Halloween make-up took an ungodly amount of time for an "okay" result - hahaha - but it was fun!
The one downer is that just as it was starting to feel like fall here, it cranked back up to the 80's! I know, I know... first world problems. But come on - a hot cider just doesn't have the same effect when you're sweating!
blogs to explore
The Confused Millennial - Rachel is funny, relatable, creative, and informative. There is something for everyone on her blog and you can tell she is so genuine. I love getting trapped in her content for entirely too long.
Brittany L Bergman - Previously The Nested Nomad, Brittany recently underwent a little rebrand and it looks beautiful! She's been a great blogging buddy the last couple of years, and I'm so happy to see her space better suit her. She talks living simply, motherhood, and more - go see!
Em Writes - Not only is her blog so beautiful in aesthetics, but her posts are often fun and easy to love. Such a lovely soul!
I hope you all had a marvelous October and are looking forward to November. I can't believe we're there already! Thanksgiving will be here before we know it, so Tom and I better get serious about becoming active morning people before all the holidays hit. I say this at 12:30AM. We never learn.
Much love, readers - Happy November!