Ike's Birth Story
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless!
Ike Wilder.
Your birth suits your name. You came into the world wild and unexpected and nothing went to plan. But what a happy birth nonetheless! Oh how blissful your birth was (well… maybe not while I labored haha) and how happy we were for your safe entrance into the world! Amidst a pandemic, no doubt. Here’s the story…
Two days before - my 31st birthday
WEDNESDAY 9/16:
I had just hit 37 weeks the day before, and for my birthday your dad took the day off and we went out for lunch to a Mexican restaurant because I wanted queso and a fish taco. We took Silas to a park in the morning, had our tacos, daddy and Silas brought me flowers in the afternoon, we had ice cream cake after dinner (Silas started saying “Happy Mama!”) which we shared with our neighbors, and that night your daddy gave me the sweetest spa night with a full pedicure and back massage while we watched Harry Potter. Nashville was still hot, but fall weather was just days away and I couldn’t wait for my last weeks of pregnancy to be spent outside playing with Silas more comfortably.
THURSDAY 9/17:
It was a normal day. Silas and I played in the yard and pool, and late that night I insisted dada should pack his hospital bag. My instincts must have kicked in because… well… come the middle of the night, he’d be needing that bag! At one point that day, part of my mucous plug had come out, but I hoped I still had a few more days.
At Home
Friday 9/18 - 1:15AM
I was fast asleep, when I woke to what felt like you had punched me, followed by a little pop sensation. I reached down, thinking I was dreaming that my water had broken (wouldn’t have been the first dream like that). My underwear were wet.
”Am I peeing? It that actually wet?”
Shook my head awake.
”OH that’s my water!”
“Tom! …… TOM!!! My water broke!!!”
Dad leapt out of bed while I instructed him to please hurry and grab towels before it got all over the bed… “BUT NOT THOSE TOWELS!”
I leapt up too and pushed him out of my way in the bathroom so I could get to the toilet where my water gushed out and I started to cry a little bit.
I didn’t feel ready! My friend was supposed to come watch Silas, but this was the ONE weekend she couldn’t. Thankfully we had our amazing neighbors backing her up. My parents weren’t here! My hopes for a successful VBAC relied partly on my water not breaking first so my labor would be a bit less intense, and now that aspect was out the window and I knew my labor would probably be more intense. Dada looked me in the eyes, in the dimly lit bedroom and smiled and reminded me what was coming… YOU! I smiled, bucked up, and called my mom.
2AM
On the left - how long the contraction lasted
On the right - time between contractions
Contractions started.
By now I had called my OB and was told to go in when I was 5 minutes apart (haha I was basically already at that point, but I wanted to labor at home where I was more comfortable). I also called our doula and was keeping her updated on things and getting ideas from her on coping. As they started to get more intense, I was focusing well on my breathing, but every contraction was only in my back. GAH! Another back-labor baby! Was he face-up like his brother was?? Again?! I tried to lay back down and sleep, but that made everything feel WAY worse.
I decided to try standing in the shower for relief. Thus far, the only comfortable spot had been the edge of our bed with a heating pad behind me, but I wanted to get him to turn around if he was face up. Once in the shower (couldn’t do the tub since my water had broken), things ramped up FAST. I told Tom to call Vicki (doula) and have her come right away. I was beginning to vocalize and it had only been a couple hours since my water broke.
Once she arrived, we all talked between contractions and kept things calm. We had some toast and tea and we tried some other positions but they were not helping much, or were making the contractions even more intense. By 6AM we all decided it was time to head to the hospital. Tom called up our neighbor around the time Silas woke up.
The hospital
6:15AM
As I started to shuffle out the door, I went to give Silas one more squeeze goodbye as my only child. He hugged me and said, “bebe out!” and continued reading books with our sweet neighbor. It was just a precious moment that I’m glad I made note of. Also, the MOST grateful to our two sets of neighbors who jumped in to watch Silas before my parents could be there. We are insanely blessed to have them!
6:40AM
At my 37 week appointment, I was -4 station (meaning, baby was basically still floating above my pelvis). My first check at the hospital, I was -3 station and barely dilated at all. I cant remember what it was initially - maybe 1cm or 3cm? Either way, it was very discouraging based on the intensity and frequency of my contractions. But I soldiered on!
7-10:30AM
Now in a delivery room, they needed to put me on a monitor and insert a hep line. Neither of these things went smoothly, and I had to be lying down in a bed for both which was excruciating for my back labor. We tried a wireless monitor (didn’t work). The regular monitors were being spotty, too. As for the hep line? Oh geez. Two nurses each tried twice, followed by THREE different anesthesiologists. No one could get a vein to work! This had never happened to me before! I was probably dehydrated or it was my hormones, but my veins just kept collapsing. One of the nurses joked that it was probably humbling for those anesthesiologists - haha! This was all going on as I was lying in bed dying to get up. By now, I had asked for an epidural because I was exhausted and needed a break from the close, long contractions that were now peaking TWICE within a single contraction.
As I waited for an epidural my doctor (a welcome (masked) face and voice to see and hear) came in to see what was happening. She looked at my contraction pattern, baby’s decelerations with each contraction, and after doing a pelvic exam (-2 station, 3cm dilated WAAAHHH!!), gave it to me straight… we needed to move to a C-section. She was direct, but caring. I knew she was right. And she was a little concerned about possible rupture based on my contraction pattern.
This did mean I wouldn’t be getting an epidural, but a spinal instead, so more waiting for relief as that would be done once in the O.R.
This felt like agessss. For 8 hours I had labored unmedicated with purely back labor with contractions about every 3 minutes apart for over a minute each. Oh, they still didn’t have a working hep line on me, so that poking continued into the operating room. Once they DID finally get one, it pooled up on my wrist halfway through surgery - haha I honestly started feeling bad for all these poor professionals after a while!
Once in the operating room, they waited as I got through more long contractions, then started a spinal. Very quickly, I felt the effects of the spinal and it was AMAZING! No drowsiness like I had after being on an epidural for hours. I felt so present and awake this time versus with Silas, where I wanted to sleep through the entire thing. The surgery itself was a bit longer (which is normal for repeat C’s), but somehow less nerve-wracking as I was so aware of everything, and everyone was talking, and the whole room felt so calm and comfortable. I got to converse with my doctor during it and that was so neat. I reminded her that I was supposed to have a growth scan at my 38 week appointment next week and we laughed over that not happening now!
The big moment…
When they reached you, Ike, they lifted a clear drape and dada and I got to watch as you were born! They brought you up to the drape and I was able to touch your warm head and talk to you as they let you get that cord blood for a while. You quieted as you listened to me welcome you into the world. It was the most joyous, beautiful moment and it felt incredible to feel more a part of that even in surgery. They took you to do their checks, then dada got to hold you as they finished my surgery and redid my awful hep line situation. Before I was wheeled out, they placed you on my chest and I didn’t put you down for hours :) In the immediate recovery room, I was able to nurse you for the first time and you were a little pro! You took to it so quickly and I was so proud of us both.
As we soaked in your newness, it was so special to see how you resembled your brother, yet how uniquely-made you were. You were a full pound smaller than Silas was, and we couldn’t believe you could be so tiny and perfect. Your hair was dark, and soft, and your fingers so long and new. Seeing a brand new baby, is the most surreal moment in the world and I love it so much. Oh Ike Wilder, we are so blessed to be your parents and so overjoyed at your entrance into the world. You are my beautiful boy and are already such a perfect addition to our little family and so loved by your big brother (and Hondo)! We thank God for the gift of you, precious boy - we love you so, Ike!
A few notes about this birth…
So essentially, this birth went EXACTLY how Silas’ birth went. To a T! Same issues with engagement, slow progression, back labor (Ike was face down, even!), fetal distress, spontaneous water breaking, etc… even though we did SO many things differently this time around.
Birth is such a wild thing and different for every woman and child. This one at least went much quicker (though without an epidural, it sure FELT longer haha), but in briefly talking with my doctor after surgery and with our doula a couple weeks postpartum, we think there must be something with my anatomy (perhaps the size or shape of my pelvis) that just won’t allow my babies to engage. And because my waters break before I start labor, my babies lose their cushion during those harsh contractions and become very distressed and have trouble moving down. Of course, as this was a VBAC, there were other variables and risks we had to be wary of, too.
I’m grateful, too, that my recovery has been much easier this time around and I knew how important rest is for that. We only had to stay in the hospital two days which was amazing! Covid, of course, made some aspects a pain. It was annoying wearing a mask when we first met our baby and not being able to feel his cheek against mine and take in the smell of his new skin right away, but I can’t say we felt unsafe. We had to stay in our room, but Tom was able to leave once a day and get us food. In fact, he spent the first night at home while I sent Ike to the nursery between feeds so I could rest.
Overall, I don’t mourn my previous C-section, nor do I mourn this one. I have always held much more strongly to my babies and myself coming out of birth safe and healthy, so to me, that IS my “ideal birth.” I feel so at peace knowing I did everything in my power to have a successful VBAC, so to me, there was no failure in my birth and I can simply shrug it off and know it was going to happen this way regardless. It was just not meant to be! We had such an awesome support system and I felt so able to advocate for myself - and if I couldn’t I had Tom and Vicki to speak up as well. I truly look at this birth with such immense pride and joy, and seeing my growing, healthy boy is the greatest gift!
Third Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Well hello, third trimester my old …friend?…
Sheesh, when I hit the third tri, I hit it HARD. For the first half of this trimester…
Well hello, third trimester my old …friend?…
Sheesh, when I hit the third tri, I hit it HARD. For the first half of this trimester, this kiddo was extremely low and squashing my pelvic floor like crazy. But more on all the details in a minute.
Symptoms
Body aches - woof the aches and pains with this pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks! Partly from running (waddling) after my 2 year old, partly from the hot Tennessee summer, and partly from the fact that I’m huge now. My back, ribs (hello tiny feet!), neck from awkward sleep, and feet from the extra weight are just blah.
Tired - Oh sleep, how I miss you.
Peeing - I know I should be drinking even more water right now, but that feels impossible with how much I’m having to pee as it is!
Weird appetite - I forgot about this one… one second I’m STARVING, the next second I’m stuffed. Also feelin’ that last trimester nausea. Ugh.
Clear skin - don’t mind this one! Glow up!
Braxton Hicks - So many of these every evening for hours on end with a few irregular contractions thrown in for good measure.
My birthday - 2 days before birth!
Third Trimester Journal
Weeks 28-37
Honestly, beyond feeling uncomfortable and huge, this trimester was fast and mostly uneventful, so I’m just gonna breeze over the main points!
I started prenatal chiropractic care this trimester, and that was helpful and really helped me relax my body. This was to help keep baby in optimal position for birth, and he really did stay head down the entire time, so I definitely give chiro care credit for this! I always left with great tips from Dr. Barton on some stretches and movements to do at home to help me along and they were so helpful. I had started getting sciatic pain, and I was always able to relieve it quickly with a few movements I had learned from her. That said, sleeping on my side was forever uncomfortable and it seemed that no matter how I tried to adjust myself, it never mattered and I woke up feeling crooked - haha - but not everything will be completely ideal in pregnancy, so oh well.
One odd thing for me this pregnancy was feeling this baby SO LOW for ages and ages, until near the end when he seemed to float up and the pelvic pressure I had felt for weeks and weeks just disappeared. More on that in my birth story, but that was frustrating in terms of my hopes for a VBAC.
At my 36 week OB appointment, I was 50% effaced and 1/2cm dilated. At my 37 week appointment, I was 70-80% effaced and still 1/2cm dilated. About two days later, my water broke. Actually, if you read back on my second trimester I had had a dream that my water broke in the middle of the night but I had actually peed myself hahaha… WELL this time, I woke up thinking I was peeing, and my water had DEFINITELY broken! More on that in my birth story, of course :)
Stayed tuned - birth story to come! (When I have another chance between feeding and caring for my toddler)
Second Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Oh how I love the second trimester! I know some poor mamas do not get a break from the woes of the first trimester and sheesh - hats off to them. That would be miserable! I was worried that would be the case for me as my first trimester…
Oh how I love the second trimester! I know some poor mamas do not get a break from the woes of the first trimester and sheesh - hats off to them. That would be miserable! I was worried that would be the case for me as my first trimester this time was just awful, but thankfully things cleared up and I have felt pretty good ever since. I’ll go into more detail below…
Symtoms
Nausea gone - I slowly weaned off of the Unisom+B6 combo around 15 weeks and even though I had a couple bouts of severe nausea, it ended up being fine!
Boobies - I had super leaky boobs with Silas, and these took a while, but it’s back this time too (nearer to the end of this trimester)
Round ligament pain - The usual! I think I do get a bit paranoid having an incision right around where round ligament pain happens, but I’m remembering more and more that it’s normal and there’s nothing to worry about.
Thick hair - finally! I was waiting for this one.
Emo - I definitely feel a lot more hormonal in the second trimester versus the first. All the cheesy things make me cry and if Tom says something even slightly off-key I’m a crying mess hahaha it always makes me laugh a little because I can literally feel how hormonal I’m being IN the moment.
Extreme hunger - so.hungry.
Back pain - sciatica pain from baby positions and just generally feeling that belly growing!
Clear skin - love this part of pregnancy.
Pee all the time - just like with Silas, this is my most complained about and most hated “symptom.” Having to pee SO BAD and nothing but a trickle comes out is the WORST feeling. And then needing to do it all again 10 minutes later (because I drink water like crazy). Ugh. Not sorry for complaining about this. Nightly bathroom trips. Bladder kicks that seriously kind of hurt. Gahhh.
Leg cramps - This was a new one - it’s happened maybe three or four times and means I probably need more magnesium or potassium. Someone told me to flex my foot the opposite way I normally would during a cramp, and it literally goes away immediately!
Cravings
Meh, nothing much. Milk is a big one that I had with Silas and I have had it this time too, but I can’t say it’s very extreme like it was last time. I will say I have a lot of texture aversions this time around which is unfortunate. Pastas of all kinds, lettuce??, and just random ones that crop up out of nowhere.
Second Trimester Journal
Weeks 13-18
During week 16 I started getting sciatica pain. I’m sure it’s always based on baby’s position, because it usually goes away on its own or after a good walk, but yikes is it painful when it’s around. Week 16 is also when I FINALLY felt movement for the first time. But only in very specific positions. Come to find out I have an anterior placenta so that explains that! Week 18 is when I felt movement more regularly. Past week 18, I have actually felt this baby a LOT and he is WAY more active than his brother was in utero… which is fun and also scary that I’m gonna have a wild-child OUTSIDE the womb haha :)
Weeks 19-27
The 20 week scan! Because of COVID-19, Tom couldn’t come along, so we did a video call during the ultrasound. We asked her to write down the gender so we could open it together at home, but I stupidly thought she was done looking for the gender because she moved the probe thing… and when I looked up she was typing “boy” on the screen. Haha! I texted Tom afterwards that I had accidentally seen. And in a weird way, it was sort of nice to process that information alone for a bit (because we were sure it was a girl and really excited about that). But once I had a bit, I got really excited and happy about another boy! Brother besties :) Tom opened the envelope at home and it was still really special. And everything looked great! Healthy baby boy.
At 21 weeks he became a crazy moving MACHINE and hasn’t slowed down since.
24 weeks was my first in person regular appointment in the office. Up until that point it was all tele-med visits. Thankfully I already owned a scale and blood pressure monitor (and a heartbeat doppler because Tom was bummed to never get to hear those in person), so my phone visits were pretty straightforward and normal. But oh man - haha - so awkward trying to find the heartbeat while my poor OB listened to me taking forever!
We met our doula and her backup during this time and it was great and we all clicked so nicely. She has already been an awesome support and I’m so glad we hired her for her expertise with this VBAC attempt.
I had a dream that my water broke and that I peed. And I woke up from it kind of thinking my water broke. Nope. Peed my underwear a bit and had to change them in the middle of the night… hahahaha this is still making me laugh. So weird and hilarious.
And lastly, I had my 1-hour glucose test on week 27 and failed by two points. So I went in for the dreaded 3-hour test and thankfully passed on all four blood draws! That said, I’ll be adding in more exercise and less sweets/simple carbs to make sure I’m keeping healthy! Hard when you’re an avid baker... but I can do it!
So there you have it - the second trimester with baby #2. I still think of the mamas in the trenches of loss and infertility so often. The dads too. And I keep them in my prayers. Pregnancy and the miracle to be able to carry life is never lost on me. It’s not something I take for granted (though I’m sure I have my moments). So here I am, just immensely grateful to carry this sweet boy around, even on the hard days or the days when my two year old is a ball of emotions and defiance. And I hope and pray for all the mamas who are hurting and hoping day after day after week after week after year…
I’m looking forward to this final trimester and all the nesting involved and preparing for a VBAC attempt. We have a double stroller all ordered, and now I’m trying to decide how many of the new products that came out in the last two years need to land in my online shopping cart! Who knows… but if anyone has some good products to check out, let me know! Always fun to look anyway, while we’re all still holed up at home.
(I’m typing this from our “vacation week” that has not felt like a vacation in the least but we’re making the best of it).
Also, how are my other pandemic pregnancy mamas doing? How was it giving birth during this (if you delivered recently)? How have you been doing emotionally or mentally? I’m not an anxious wreck of a person like I was when we lived in Georgia, but I’ve definitely had some moments that have made me really sad to be pregnant during this time. I’m sure it depends on where you live, but Tennessee has been crazy and I just wanna give birth without a mask! But all will be well <3 I’m focusing on the positive and have actually been doing just fine over here in our compound - haha!
First Trimester Recap (Baby 2)
Well hello, old friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve dusted off my editing page on here, and the familiarity of it all sure feels nice to come back to. If you don’t follow me on social media, you wouldn’t have heard the news, but as you can see… we’re expecting our second child!
Well hello, old friends! It’s been awhile since I’ve dusted off my editing page on here, and the familiarity of it all sure feels nice to come back to.
If you don’t follow me on social media, you wouldn’t have heard the news, but as you can see… we’re expecting our second child! We’re so very excited and feel extremely blessed to be welcoming this new baby in early October. I made mention of this on Instagram, but I’m not going to be sharing the infertility aspect this time around. It still took us a while, but I’m not going into detail… UNLESS you honestly are curious! I really am an open book, but just feel like by now, you know we have fertility struggles, so if you want the deets on this time around, don’t hesitate to ask. Even if you’re just feeling nosey! I really don’t mind and always feel like sharing these topics helps to normalize the conversations surrounding them.
Anyway, I guess I just sort of decided, why not document this pregnancy too? I’ve found myself looking back at my recaps of my last pregnancy to see what things lined up and so on or to remind myself what to expect. I’ll use the same format as before, so here we go…!
Symptoms
Nausea - oh boy did this hit me like a ton of bricks right off the bat. I was puking every day (sometimes multiple times!) until i started taking a combo of Unisom + B6 around week 7 or 8. The nausea didn’t disappear, but it did tame my puking which I so desperately needed. Though I did learn walking and eating for some reason really set me off. Once while chewing a bite of pbj, I gagged a little too hard, and THANKFULLY Tom scattered barf bags all around the house because I snagged one in the dining room and lost it right there. Haha.. definitely funny in retrospect!
Tired - there is nothing quite like first trimester exhaustion!
Sore boobies - I miss laying on my belly to sleep haha
Metallic taste - this was new and bleck!
Food aversions - it seemed like they’ve been a lot stronger this pregnancy. Almost NOTHING sounded good for the first mannnnnyyy weeks. Maybe until week 11? I mostly ate fruit, drank juice or chocolate soy milk, ate granola bars, and sometimes potatoes or eggs. So. much. gagging. Also lots of crying at the dinner table when I couldn’t stand to eat anything on my plate but was so hungry.
Sensitive to smells - oh the joys of dog food, poopy diapers, coffee, and the trash can.
Crampy - just occasionally. I remember feeling more cramping in the first trimester with Silas.
Spotting - this was a new one and a bit scary. I spotted in the 6th week and the 9th week. Thankfully it resolved and didn’t get serious, but I didn’t experience that with Silas, so I had an ultrasound right at 7 weeks to check things out. All was fine.
Emotional - hello hormones! All the cheesy things make me cry. Also a little more moody this time around. Had a harder time being excited and honestly felt sort of depressed for most of the trimester.
Acne - ugh such a bummer
Vivid dreams - I love this part of pregnancy. Such weird, insanely vivid dreams!
Cravings
Nothing I craved - just finally a break in the food aversions and something would sound good. Once it was my mom’s pot roast and potatoes (they were in town), and puddings and ice cream hahaha
First Trimester Journal
Weeks 4-8
I found out about this pregnancy REALLY early. I went in for confirmation bloodwork on week FOUR. In that bloodwork they check all your hormone levels, and they again put me on a low dose of progesterone to help support the pregnancy (my HCG was perfect, though). I was on it with Silas too. I spotted for a day or two on week 6, and promptly got in for an ultrasound on week 7. Baby was measuring EXACTLY on track based on my dates! It was such a relief to see and hear that tiny heart beating. Tom, unfortunately, was home with Silas so he missed the only ultrasound he could have been to (since Covid-19 restrictions started a few weeks later). They said the spotting likely came from an ovarian cyst that was resolving itself. Tom had a lot of travel during this time - a trip to Idaho, and another just a few days later to DC. This was honestly a lot for me just because of the timing and the intense nausea while taking care of a busy, needy toddler. Cooking food during this time was just horrendous. My parents were planning on stopping back through after spending the winter in Florida, but I called them up, spilled the beans, and asked them to come early and stay while Tom was out of town to keep me company and give me a break from Silas. Thankfully they were happy to oblige and my mom made us some delicious meals. We even snuck in a little date while they were here!
Weeks 9-12
Already started peeing all the time again - including in the night. We brought my lovely pregnancy pillow out of retirement (I cannot for the life of me stay on my side at night), along with all my old maternity clothes that I washed and tried on :) On week 9, I spotted again. It lasted a couple days and I tried not to worry, but it certainly crept in.
Week 10 on the dot, I had my first regular OB visit. Tom came along with Silas and we all got to hear the heart together. Always a relief - especially after spotting the week before. Silas got too squirmy, so the boys left and I got to have a great talk with my OB. She is seriously just the BEST and I’m so incredibly grateful a friend referred me to her when we moved here! The following weeks were more of the same with food aversions and nausea and just trying to survive while taking care of Silas and getting us fed without throwing up. I stopped taking progesterone at 13 weeks, and we announced around this time.
This time around was in many ways the same, but of course, extremely different too (is anyone surprised? Different pregnancy, different baby, etc…). I think the biggest difference this time around was how irritated I felt. Maybe not irritated… but… I can never find the right word or description. I just wasn’t very excited. I was excited, of course, but the overarching feeling I had was frustration. Frustrated that it kept me from being a “good” mom to Silas and we spent too much time watching shows while I was curled up trying not to vomit. Frustrated that I wasn’t grateful enough. Frustrated that I felt like such a shell of myself.
So then on top of all these feelings, Nashville schools were shutting down over illness, so I stayed home to avoid getting whatever everyone else was getting.
Then the horrific tornado ripped through and they asked any extra people to stay off the backed up roads, so I stayed home.
And then Covid-19 hit. And I’ve STAYED HOME. I’ve stayed home for nearly two months by now.
It’s a weird time to be pregnant. We have our anatomy scan in May, and Tom can’t come. It all feels very anticlimactic. Like I got pregnant, and have been home practically ever since. Our church family doesn’t even know! So when we get back to worship, they’ll all be in for an obvious surprise - haha!
Anyway. It feels so much better to be in the second trimester, now. My weird/sad mood has lifted, I’m starting to feel movement, and Silas now sticks his finger in my belly button when I ask him where the baby is (haha it HAS to be directly in my belly button, not just my belly - it kills me hahaha). But he gives the baby kisses already and the thought of him being a big brother is super sweet and exciting. Though also a little sad he won’t be my only baby anymore! He’s such a mama’s boy and he is about to get the shock of his little lifetime!
That’s all for now! See you at the end of next trimester ♥️