Thoughts While Hangry

In case you've been living in a cave, the term hangry is the blending of the words  hungry and angry.

Taken from the most accurate possible online dictionary, Urban Dictionary, here is one definition:

"The state of being so hungry that it has become infuriating. A hybrid of hungry and angry."

I'm here to walk people through the thoughts one might have when experiencing this wrath of an emotion. My husband has learned the hard way, that I actually become hulk-like in my hangriness and it should be avoided at all costs. Those who think this is nothing more than a dramatic response to being overly hungry have clearly never experienced it. There is no controlling the power of this state of hungriness.

Sadly, I experience this more often than I should. Part of what makes one so angry, is that their hunger could have possibly been avoided if precautions had been taken. For example, I make the moronic decision to go to church without eating breakfast (and I eat breakfast every other day of the week, so clearly, I wake up dumb on Sundays). Because of this rash decision, my mind trails off during worship and I think of nearby restaurants for much longer than is acceptable. Then, as my stomach groans on during the service, my dear husband can see/hear the hangriness building inside me and we usually make a sprint after the service to get me in the car before I start gnawing on people's arms (he's usually hangry too, so it's not just me). Really, if I would just remember to eat something before leaving the house, much could be avoided. Alas, I never learn.

Thoughts while hangry:

Is that a headache?
Oh no. My stomach just growled. Or, it's about to. I can feel it.
Yep. That's a growl.
When is the soonest I can get to food?
I have to wait at least and hour and a half??
It's okay. Just don't think about it.

...ugh. Hungry hungry hippo right now.
...okay, to save time, I should decide where to eat now.
I could literally eat anything right now.
Just something to make my hunger staaahhhppp.
McDonalds? No. Too fast-foody.
Subway? Ick, their bread.
Jimmy Johns? That's always the emergency choice.
Pizza? Too early. This day doesn't seem like a pizza day. Plus it'll take too long to bake.
BBQ? Not in the mooooodddd
Nothing fried...
Not pancakes... too heavy.
Sit down restaurant? And wait longer? I think not.
What in the world is fast and delicious and not too unhealthy and really close??
A grocery store? Too many choices. It'll take too long to decide.
Do I want breakfast or lunch?


Okay, we're on thin ice, here.
Nothing sounds good anymore.
Yep, I've reached hangry levels, now.
I can't think of one food that sounds good.
If I order a waffle I'll want an egg, but I don't want both.
Should I eat something with fruit? Or will I just wish I had gotten fried chicken?
I'm worried about food regrets. This is a serious decision.
Okay, even if I waited for pizza I have no idea what toppings to even get.
Maybe I should choose a specific cuisine.
Chinese = food coma
Mexican = gas
American = greasy rock in your stomach
Indian .... mayyyybe?
Mmm naan.
Only from that one place though.
Maybe we could order ahead... but could we still eat it there?
Wait though, I haven't decided if I want coffee.
If I want coffee, then we need to have breakfast foods.


Is that Indian place even going to be open today?
No. I need to start over.
Coffee means breakfast-y foods.
Breakfast sandwich? Eggs, bacon, waffles, and everything? Oh, I would want hash browns then. Hash browns instead of eggs? What if fruit on my waffles costs extra?
Okay, screw the healthy choices. This is a matter of life or starving.
I feel like I need something crunchy too.
Would I want something for dessert?
I'll just have someone else decide.

***someone else decides***

(internally) Noooooo anything but that... UGHHHH FINE. I have no choice now.

***Arrive. Look at menu for ages. Bounce between four options. Not loving any of them***
***Order. Wait for what seems like an hour.***

***Start inhaling food***

***Doesn't finish food, but feels stuffed***

It's a never ending internal battle. Although, sometimes it's external (sorry Tom). Either way, it is a dangerous road to go down. I happen to be writing this during a serious lifestyle change in my eating habits, so my hangriness has been rather vocal lately. Pray for me and the well-being of my husband (hahaha).

Hangry sufferers? For the sake of those you love, carry some snacks. Or for goodness sake at least eat breakfast. Hangry sufferers UNITE!

(I really hope you're catching my sarcasm in this post. But it's like that half kidding/half serious kind of thing. Being hangry is not funny. But it kind of is.... in retrospect)

LifeJoy Johnson