To My Husband In These First Years
Dear Husband,
It's been just us for some time now, and I still revel in it.
We've gone on many a date, and even begun to make the most monotonous excursions somehow romantic (or at least fun). We have created a plethora of inside jokes, nicknames, and facial expressions that keep us connected and continually joking (many times without having to say a single word). We can anticipate each other's emotions, needs, thoughts, and next words without it seeming creepy... and in fact it offers such a sweet sense of comfort to know the other gets you in that way. We argue better than we did a few short years ago, yet we still hold our ground when we differ, and encourage our independent natures. We are lovers, friends, and blessings to one another's lives.
But eventually, our lives will be interrupted. Things will change. Whether it be another move, little people to add to our ranks, job changes, illnesses, or any of life's many curves.
So today, I want to acknowledge you. Just in case, as the years go by, I forget.
I want to add a few more promises to the ones I made at the altar several years back. Maybe I won't be able to keep these promises perfectly or even at all... but I want you to read this over one day when you miss these first few years. Tell me to re-read it to, because I could probably use the reminder.
You know how you roll over each morning and snuggle me close? How even now, I sometimes don't reciprocate because I like my space? Well, keep doing that. Because I know you are just loving me, even when I get a little snarly. It does make me feel loved, and you know it, and that's why you never stop. And on the mornings you wake up too late and jump right into the shower, I notice. And I miss it.
If you just plant yourself in front of me, I'll give you a backrub - why has it taken you so long to figure this out??
And thanks for the countless backrubs you give to me. You're pretty great.
I'm glad you love my baking. Please always request things, because even when I act like it's such a chore, it's not. Especially when you come watch me and keep me company.
I'm sorry for the eventual day when I curse doing the laundry. But how about this... if you start helping me fold, I'll do my best to look forward to it for as long as we live because it'll mean binge watching a show or funny Youtube videos with you.
Thank you for being so handy around the house. You know how I've told you that keeping a nice, clean, comfortable home is important to me? Well, I couldn't do that without you. You built me a kitchen. And countless other things. Maybe I keep it clean and decorated, but you're the base. I'm all about that base (yes, as that one song goes).
Someday I may not notice when you've had a long day, so please tell me, because I'll want to help. Even if that means leaving you alone for bit.
I hope that my patience grows with time. If it doesn't, thank you for being the gold standard for patience and knowing exactly how to cool my jets.
I know you're telling me the truth when you tell me I'm beautiful. Even when my hair is grimy and there's zits on my face and I feel frumpy. But you can always tell me that more, if you want to :) And in case I haven't told you enough, you're the most handsome, incredible man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I'm so blessed by you. Every single day.
We may not always have the ability to show affection (aka holding hands, arm-in-arm, etc..), but I promise I'll always try to make room for you. Even when I'm tired of being touched by other little beings, your big hugs and gentle forehead kisses should always have a place in my day.
Making you coffee every morning is a pleasure. If I ever think otherwise, remind me that I make it for me too.
Having you as my chauffeur is the best. Thanks for not judging me for my disdain towards driving.
Cooking with you in these first years has been the most fun. I love making high-end meals at home and learning about wine and having a snooty palate sometimes. I know other people think we're weird for enjoying this, and maybe they think we're being pretentious, but if at some point we eat only mac'n'cheese and PBJ sandwiches for years on end, I won't regret this time for one minute. And I'm glad we didn't wait to try our hand at it when we're old and our taste buds are broken.
Maybe you'll travel for work more often, and I won't be able to join you. For now, I am cherishing the freedom I have to tag along. But I hope you always miss me as terribly as I miss you.
When people make fun of us for being cutesy or clingy, I'm glad you never take offense. I'm glad we're so close, and I'm so thankful our marriage is built on an outstanding friendship and deep faith. We have a fierce love, as I say.
I hope you know how much I respect and support your career, and thank you for respecting and supporting mine. I love being your number one cheerleader. Even when things at home are crazy and there's plenty of other things on our plate, I hope you know that your job is important to me too.
Above all, don't you dare get un-fun. And don't let it happen to me. This especially includes sassiness. Because removing the sassy, removes the fun.
Sharing your life with someone else can be tough and trying.
Yet it is such a privilege to pray for you and with you, and grow together each and every day. Wherever this life leads us, prioritizing and loving you is such an immense joy, and I thank God you are by my side.
All my love,
