Progressive Dinners
Maybe you've heard the idea of Progressive Dinners before, but if not, let me explain.
Back when I lived in Milwaukee, a handful of my co-workers lived in the downtown area and would occasionally hold a Progressive Dinner Party. Basically, you would begin at one apartment, for drinks, the next would be appetizers, the next a main dish, then maybe another main dish (depending on how many people offered to make their homes a stop), and the last place would be dessert. The whole group would move from place to place, and therefore the term "Progressive Dinner" was used to describe it. Along with the movement from place to place, there was also a recurring "theme." Maybe everyone had to follow a Mexican food theme... including Mexican drinks. Or perhaps a cheese theme (think Wisconsin), or maybe Italian, or even Downton Abbey themed. Sometimes each different stop had its own theme chosen by whoever lived and served there. Super fun idea, right?
Well, a couple weeks ago, I was blessed by the presence of my five best friends who all flew down to Georgia to visit me. How awesome are they, right?!
On the second night they were here, we all decided to go out for dinner, but we all have issues making decisions as a group (can you relate?) and ended up going to this adorable strip of restaurants. Upon our arrival, we somehow managed to decide on doing a progressive dinner in record time. Like, as soon as we parked we all agreed immediately.. phew.
Our first stop was called Zest. It was a fun, modern, atmosphere with a wonderful tapas menu. Here, we also decided on buying a bottle of wine at every stop to share amongst ourselves. As for the food, we ordered a delicious spinach and artichoke dip, mac and cheese (with panko crumbs and truffle oil... oh yummm), and grilled calamari. We ended up with two bottles of wine here, but who's counting?
The second stop was at Pastis Bar & Restaurant... French cuisine. We popped a bottle of champagne, and this time we "coupled up" to order. The wine from the last place might have gone to our heads a little, but we were laughing so hard in this restaurant, a crazy woman in the bathroom actually asked if we were drunk... which in fact we were not. Just so happy! We all mostly ordered the same things, and our excitement got the best of us when we saw a Caesar salad for $6. However, when we got our "salads" we realized there was about 50 cents worth of food on the plate and we completely lost ourselves making fun of the dish. It was good, don't get me wrong, but the disappointment was a lot to bear!
Stop number three was dessert at a cute little cupcake shop that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of. We all bought different kinds of cupcakes and spread them across a table and tried each one. It was the perfect way to end the evening.
Stop number four doesn't necessarily count as part of dinner, but for old times sake we found a nice, rowdy bar and took our bottle of wine to the empty porch to play Heads Up. My! How times have changed! It seriously seems like yesterday when we were the girls on the dancefloor having the time of our lives. Now, we're sipping our wine on an empty bar porch laughing and yes, still having the time of our lives.
If you have never had a Progressive Dinner, I encourage you to give it a try. Whether it's from restaurant to restaurant, or home to home, it is always a fun new way to party. If you're wondering how the restaurant bills were handled, two girls were in charge of splitting the cost of the wine bottle at each place, and the rest of the bill was split amongst everyone. It was really pretty cost effective!
Have you ever done a Progressive Dinner? What other tips or ideas do you have? Theme ideas?
I Love My Husband (By Choice)
"I love you... by choice" seems like a pretty unromantic thing to say, doesn't it?
Think for just a moment about the the little choices you make on a regular day-to-day basis.
The choice to clean the kitchen.
The choice to leave early and miss the traffic.
The choice to read that extra story to the kids.
The choice to pick up groceries.
Now, if you stopped making those little choices, what would happen?
The kitchen might get messier and messier and become an even bigger task to clean up.
If you do not leave early, you might get stuck in that traffic and show up late to work.
If you skip that extra story, you might get a head-start on bed, but you'd miss that sweet extra moment with your babies.
If you don't pick up the groceries, you'll most likely end up eating some bad fast food, or spending more money than you should have at a restaurant.
Love is no different. Love has, wound up in its core, so many pieces that make it one... honesty, vulnerability, trust, patience, kindness, unselfishness, and so many others. Some will say that love is an action. Sure, parts of love require action. That could be physicality, doing the dishes, giving a gift, spending time together, or telling your wife that you appreciate her. Sounds like the five "love languages" huh? Yes, you can even feel love.
But even in all those variables, is a choice.
I choose to be patient with my husband. He chooses to be kind to me. I choose to do the dishes when he's had a long day, and he chooses to snuggle me just a little longer in the morning.
When so many people leave their spouses exclaiming it's because they "fell out of love," I believe it's because they chose to. Did they stop thanking their spouse for doing the laundry? Or giving them a long hug and a kiss before they left for work? Did they forget to call their wife when they made it safely to their business trip across the country? Did they get the kids ready for school so their spouse could sleep in, just this one time? Or did they keep their plans with their friends, even though their partner was sick?
When you stop choosing your spouse, every day, it shows. Just as choosing not to style your hair shows... and leaving work at the worst time shows... and not cleaning the kitchen shows. Every choice that we make affects another aspect of our lives. In marriage, that truth resounds.
Every morning, I choose my husband. I choose to slowly wake up with him and chit-chat before getting ready for the day. I make coffee for us without even thinking about it, but without fail I hear a "thank you for making coffee" from that sweet guy I call husband. If I intentionally stopped making coffee, I would in turn stop hearing that thank you. That doesn't seem like it would be the worst thing to ever happen... right?
That's where choosing love presents itself in a much bolder sense. Sure, it's an easy choice to love someone who makes you coffee everyday and thanks you for picking up the living room. But when they don't do those things? That is where you intentionally choose love.
We're imperfect. Every single being on this earth is imperfect. By God's grace, we are forgiven. We don't deserve forgiveness. We can't even earn it. But He chooses us, each day. What a GIFT! When I look at my failures and all the places I fall short, it would be easy not to love me. But God doesn't "fall out of love" with me. He forgives me, day in and day out. He chooses me. Not by my own reason or strength can I believe in Jesus Christ or come to HIm... but He calls me by the Gospel, enlightens me with His gifts, sanctifies and keeps me in the one true faith.
As Christians, we are called to love as Christ loves. Love by saying you're sorry, because you have things to be sorry for. Love by forgiving, because you need forgiving too. Love by choosing the same sinful person everyday until death, because Christ chooses you and your sinful self every day.
So yes, as unromantic as it sounds, loving one person for the rest of your life is a choice. But what a beautiful, forgiving, exciting, comfort it is to know that by choosing your spouse every day, you are loving them as Christ loves you. It's hard to do. We disappoint and fail to meet expectations and don't say sorry as much as we should... but knowing that someone chooses to love me despite all that, makes it so worth it to choose love every.single.day.
Also, this post was inspired by this song... which I cannot stop listening to. Enjoy!
What Does a Blogger Even Do?
That's a great question. It's the one I basically get all of the time, and is also kind of annoying to me. Haha. Like I said, I do not sugar coat here. That question, though valid, is always annoying.
If you have ever gone to a blog, it has words on it. Someone wrote those words. I write the words on my blog, and would consider myself a writer. Short answer. Can't people use deductive reasoning here? Goodness.
However, I understand that blogging is not a common career, unless you do all the social media for a company, in which case, blogging is often part of the job duty. So I understand how when you ask someone what they do and they respond "I'm a blogger" it sounds sort of like they sit in their pajamas all day and write things while watching Netflix in the background. Okay, part of that is true... but I really don't watch Netflix EVERY day.
Trust me, I get it. I get how it sounds to people older than me. But whenever someone my age asks what I do, there is never a hint of confusion and they think it's the coolest thing ever. However, let me dive in and explain blogging as a career! Yaaayyyy!
Do you make money from blogging?
- Yes... over time. Blogging as a career doesn't happen overnight and sometimes doesn't even happen over a year. It takes time, patience, and consistency to see monetary results. We gain money from selling ad space, sponsorship, and freelance writing. Many bloggers have other jobs to compensate for the slow process, but others choose to live on a tighter budget in order to dedicate their time to blogging full-time.
Do you actually hang out in your pajamas all day?
- Yes. I don't wake up at 10 though. I actually wake my husband up so he can get ready for work. Once he's in the shower, I make coffee and start working before he's even out the door. But one of my goals in the new year is to shower before noon every day.
Besides writing, what could possibly occupy your time??
- Research on trending topics to stay relevant with my audience.
- Networking with other bloggers. Collaborating, emailing, reaching out via social media, constant, constant outreach. It's one of the important steps in gaining a following.
- Editing posts. Posts don't always get written in a day. Sometimes I need to let one rest in purgatory before my creative juices can come back. This means writing paragraph after paragraph, and deleting the entire thing and starting over.
- Editing photos. If you want to use original photos, they don't usually look good just downloaded off your iPhone. They need to be edited and that doesn't take 5 minutes. Especially if you're going to post a gallery of photos. The image above? I took several pictures, picked one, edited the colors, contrast, etc... then spent the time to put text on it, downloaded it, had to convert it to a jpeg, then had to make sure it looked good at the top of this page (placement, etc...). It's very time consuming, and easy to be lazy and have poor imagery. One of my goals this year is to have top notch photos (keep me accountable, people!)
- Upkeep on my website. Not only did I customize and build this website in about a week and a half, but I have to keep up with it. I make sure posts are showing up correctly - in the right categories, correct spelling, my links and buttons are working as they should, mobile looks correct, etc...
What are the perks of being a blogger?
- Flexibility. I have lunch when I get hungry. I can schedule appointments whenever I want. My vacation isn't limited to hours earned or a certain number of weeks. Which is soooo nice when people visit or when I'm trying to plan a trip. I can be involved in things during the day (volunteering, networking meetings, etc...). I can run errands when traffic isn't a cluster. The house stays clean and I can start dinner before Tom gets home from work. It's great.
- Decision making. I love love LOVE working with people, but not when they're making all my decisions for me. I love that I can network with others, but own my thang. In many ways I can be a loner, but writing for other people brings me so much joy. I like to say the things other people are too afraid to say. I can stand behind my words, and I encourage others to let their voice be heard too.
- Continued learning. I get to teach myself cool new skills and it rocks! I started dabbling in hand-lettering, I can take classes on Skillshare, I've learned basic coding skills, and I can take free classes offered in Atlanta during the day. Not to mention, I'm married to a UX Designer and whatever he learns, I get to learn too.
- Talking to my family during the day when they're home. Love that.
What stinks about blogging?
- Feeling isolated. I don't have co-workers, so I have to get creative and force myself to work outside of our apartment or I'll get terrible cabin fever. This is why I talk on the phone with family a lot. Sometimes I bounce ideas off of them... and if anything, they're great company.
- Accountability. It can be easier to push something off because I don't have to make a deadline for anyone but myself. Another thing that I'm working on in the new year!
- Holding to work hours. I'm working on keeping set work hours of 9-5. However, when you work and live in the same place, the lines get smudged and suddenly I can't put my work down until 10pm, or maybe I'll throw in the towel at 2pm. Cabin fever gets worse, because my husband comes home to unwind and I want to get OUT to unwind. Or when people know you work from home, they assume you're free every weekday whenever... which you could be... but it's important to keep a level of consistency and be able to say no sometimes. I'm working on the right balance, but it's tough.
Overall, blogging is about learning the right balance, constant learning and skill-honing, and lots and lots of hard work. Is it worth the challenge? Absolutely. Is it rewarding? You bet. It's a work of my own hands.
If you're thinking about blogging, if you'd like to guest blog for me, if you'd like to collaborate, or if you still don't get what a blogger does, contact me!
10 Things I'm Leaving in 2014
First of all, this morning, I had no idea it was New Years Eve.
My husband reminded me of this fact as he walked out the door to work... I looked at him with my greasy hair in a bun on top of my head and made a face like this:
Then I went to the store and got mini bottles of champagne and some mini bundt cakes (Thanks Jonny and Angela for the giftcard to the holy land of Nothing Bundt Cakes!!! Go there if you can, people. The best cakes in the WHOLE WORLD).
So that's how we're celebrating. And I am not going to wear a sequin dress. I'm probably going to wear a clean, giant t-shirt and ugly slippers. I'm so excited.
So then I felt pressured to write some glorious blog post about my resolutions for 2015.
But everyone does that.
Or they talk about why they don't have resolutions.
Or how they're going to be a better person.
But what about this last year?
Does anyone ever talk about how they did on their resolution over the last year? Nope! Because people forget they even had a resolution. So why make one if you're just going to forget it?
I feel like no one talks about what they learned in the last year - but guys, that's super important!
So here are some things I want to leave in 2014:
- Crying. If you've read my blog, you know this. I've cried so much since moving to Georgia I think my tear ducts actually had to expand and have amped up their production. I'm okay with leaving the tears in 2014. Fingers crossed.
- Stagnant jobs. When my husband got a job in Georgia, I finally had a great excuse to leave my stagnant job behind. I had no idea how much my job was hurting me not only emotionally and mentally, but physically too. I suddenly started getting full nights of sleep again, my skin cleared up, and day after day I am more refreshed than I've felt in two years. If your job is weighing you down, move on. You won't regret it.
- My fear of heights. Okay, maybe not. But I'll try. I think I'm getting better. I made it over a couple of bridges and stairs this fall without totally losing it. There's hope.
- Fake friendships. Real friendships include friends that are happy with you, sad with you, and mad with you. True friends support and encourage you, and are interested and invested in you. I realized how many people fell out of my life this year, and that lightbulb of "you were never actually my friend..." went off. I have a clearer sense of who I am important to and who is important to me. It's wonderful. But it also makes me miss the real ones like crazyyyy.
- My fear of driving. I hate driving, guys. But I'm gonna put that fear behind me. Literally, I'm going to drive my fear away. But I secretly (not so secretly) wish I had a personal driver.
- Disconnection with family. No matter the miles between you, your family will always be there. Because of my new venture in working from home, I have talked to my beloved sisters more than I have been able to in years. They've listened to me cry and called to make me laugh. The chance to talk to my family every day or at least every week is something I am so glad to make time for, now.
- Distrust in God's plan. Sometimes God's plan for you is different than you were "hoping" for. Once you see the effect of His plan, though, you suddenly realize He has your best interests in mind. He led us to an amazing church home in Georgia. He gave both Tom and I new opportunities to develop our careers into something that "fits" us. He showed me the true value of family and friends. It's kind of like that Garth Brooks song that says "sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers." What we think would be ideal may not be... and God knows. He's definitely a lot more dependable... and thankfully, always right.
- Low confidence. You choose how to feel. I'm leaving my insecurities in 2014 and enjoying all the seasons of my life. I'm going to choose to love me. No more thoughts that "I can't" or "I wish." I am me, and I am happy.
- Lack of experience. Experience more. New restaurants, new shops, new towns, a new shampoo. Gain experience in a hobby or branch of your job you'd like to learn more about. We live in a big wide world - go experience it! It is so exciting to try something new. You'll be surprised at how capable you are.
- DIY projects. Let's be real. I'm terrible at DIY, so it's time to put a lid on it.
I hope everyone had a fabulous 2014 and you can all take away some lessons learned. Remember to leave some things in 2014, though, because 2015 needs room to be even better. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What are YOU leaving behind? Doesn't it feel good just to SAY you're leaving things behind you?
Hilton Head, SC
An ode to a two-person Christmas:
Twas the night after Christmas and all through the town, no family was visiting, there was only a spouse.
The couple decided to go away on their own to see the near ocean and call it their home.
The bikes were all packed in the car with a squeeze, their overnight bags could fit nicely with ease.
Early in the morning, they set out on the trek, not really sure if they'd ever come back.
The wife fell asleep as she usually does, while the husband drove smoothly - not causing a fuss.
Three short hours in, they made it to Savannah, there they filled up on tuna (also known as Joy's manna).
Thomas had parked the car nicely in parallel form, while his wife gave her praise at his marvelous charm.
It was time to keep moving, the ocean awaits! The Red Roof Inn would be tonight's pearly gates!
Soon enough they arrived, and they shrugged at their room, they knew right away the beach would be where they'd loom.
The beach was a tad chilly, as they bundled up warm, but the sunset was worth it, and the pictures affirm.
To dinner they wandered for the freshest seafood, but they found that their taste buds have a "high and mighty" attitude.
Gelato followed up the subpar restaurant place, because wife needs to wash things down with a sweeter taste.
The next morning was slow and relaxing and calm, but soon enough now they'd be biking along.
To the beach with those bikes! They rode slowly to see all the waves and the smells and sweet ocean breeze.
Afterwards a fast lunch filled their bellies once more, then they slowly drove home a different way than before.
Though their time had been short they felt refreshed and renewed, and once home they decided to carry on with that mood.
Though Christmas is never the same without family near, with each other and the ocean, they did find their cheer.
How do you speak to yourself?
A while back, I gave you a thought provoking question which you can read here.
So how about this one?
"If you had a friend that you spoke to the same way you speak to yourself, how long do you think that person would allow you to be their friend?"
Are you hard on yourself? So many times, we are our own worst critics. Maybe it sounds like this:
- My arms aren't skinny enough.
- My thighs are too big.
- I wish I could run for longer.
- I wish my hair looked like so and so's.
- I don't work hard enough.
- I don't know enough about this.
- I'm not as talented as he is.
- I feel worthless.
So turn those statements around as if you're telling them to a friend:
- Your arms aren't skinny enough.
- Your thighs are too big.
- Too bad you can't run for longer.
- I bet you wish your hair looked like so and so's.
- You don't work hard enough.
- You don't know enough about that.
- You're not as talented as he is.
- I think you're worthless.
Woof.
I don't want to be their friend.
Sadly, I'm guilty of speaking to myself like that - why would I be such a crappy friend to myself? I think most of us tend to simply do this on autopilot. You could be an ultra confident person, but still find yourself berating your own person here and there. Even those little criticisms, though, will build up over time. You suddenly find that you're comparing yourself to your friends... or even strangers. How damaging over time! Just as that question asks, how long would you be friends with someone who spoke to you like that? Not very long, huh?
Keep that question in your mind the next time you look in the mirror and find that your roots have grown out. Or when you're at your job and cannot seem to get a promotion no matter how hard you work, leaving you feeling worthless. Or when you get lapped on the trail by a guy twice your age.
Stop self-degrading, and instead, remember this:
Exist to be happy. Not to impress.
I've got some serious stones.
YEAH, KIDNEY STONES!
Guys, having a kidney stone hurts. A LOT.
This is why I have been M.I.A. from blogging for a while. I thought I would give it a touch of good humored drama, but also straight facts because, to be honest, I knew people got kidney stones and they hurt, but they really stink more than people let on. So here's the play-by-play...
Friday night was just its usual glory. Tom and I had heated up some leftover mac n' cheese and decided to wash it down with some bloody mary's. We snuggled and went about our Friday as usual.
Saturday morning:
7AM:
Woke up from a terrible, uncomfortable, aching pain in my back on the right. Nothing made it feel better, so Tom threw me some sweatpants and got me in the car to go to the ER (I have never EVER been to the hospital before. Let alone an ER)
8AM:
Been checked in for a while, in my ER room, writhing in pain, but bearing it. Wouldn't let my husband touch me. ALL OF THE PAIN EVER. Doctor Nice Guy called me skinny and is my new BFF.
9AM:
Finally some relief of IV pain meds. Then a CT scan. Also, had to carry my IV bag to the bathroom in that weird robe = awkward. Why are hospital blankets so thin?? Freezing up in here!
10AM:
The news - I have a kidney stone, and two more hanging out in my kidney that may or may not show up at some point in the future. Pain meds wearing off...
*PROUD MOMENT*
From what I've been told, the pain from kidney stones is worse than that of childbirth. Admittedly, I am kind of a baby when I get sick or have a headache or something menial. So naturally, Tom thinks I am going to be such a wuss in childbirth. I can't really blame him for thinking that... but it does kind of stink when your own husband doesn't believe in your pain tolerance for birthing his future children.
When my nurse came into my room to discharge me, she said, "Okay, I just really have to tell you. You must have a really high pain tolerance. In all my years as an ER nurse, I have never seen someone bear kidney stone pain like you. Most people can't lay down and handle it. They walk around and try to get comfortable, even though there is no getting comfortable with that pain. But you just laid there and took it like a champ! Seriously, good job!"
*smug look towards Tom* NOW DO YOU BELIEVE I'LL BE A WUSS? HUH?? Okay, again, I can't blame him... I mean, the fact that I nearly fainted from reading about a broken nose says it all. I'm shocked I made it through this ordeal.
*PROUD MOMENT OVER*
After I got released, we rushed over to the nearest Target to get my Rx's filled. Once the drugs were in hand, I took them all at once. Guys? That is a really bad decision if you have next to nothing in your stomach. I puked up everything that touched my lips over the course of 20 hours... including water. So be careful with those pain pills. I quit taking them by the end of day one, because I knew hydration needed to trump pain. Also, just those few pain pills made me drowsy enough to sleep for (no joke) about 30 or more hours... and not just like dosing off, like knocked OUT... I would wake up for 10-15 minute intervals after a few hours asleep and then go back to it. It was crazyyy.
So I sort of missed Saturday and Sunday because I was asleep the entire time and dealing with the pain. Monday was my "day of hope." I could eat and drink and was determined to get this sucker out. I had been reading that gravity and loads of fluids worked in your favor in this situation. So, I kid you not, I sat on the edge of my bed and bounced and chugged water and bounced, bounced, bounced. The pain was still lingering and going in bursts, but I was getting desperate. LO AND BEHOLD the next morning that little nugget showed up in my pee strainer (that the hospital gave me, it wasn't from my kitchen, people). I obviously had to wake up Tom for the announcement, and the heavens rang out in alleluias. If you're wondering, it was TINY. Smaller than a pin head... how disappointing, right? Something SO TINY caused me so much pain!?!? Obviously I'm weird enough to keep it, so it's in a baggy in the bathroom closet.
Here is the true goodness of this long-winded record of my kidney stone ordeal (that maybe you didn't even care about reading... haha):
Some people out there are just meant to give perspective to the world. In such amazing, yet small, ways. As we were leaving the ER, Tom ran out to pull the car around. I was standing in the waiting room, hugging myself in clear pain. Writhing, really. I started to shuffle out the automatic doors in my baggy sweatpants, kind of gimping along, really slowly... when I suddenly heard from behind me, "I hope you feel better..." I turned around to see an older man with a prosthetic leg looking at me with a half-smile. I stopped in my tracks and thanked him as genuinely as possible. But I was blown away... here I am gimping out to the car that my husband brought around for me, and this kind gentleman with no leg hopes I feel better. That's incredible. Perspective is a crazy thing. Yeah, I'm really in a lot of pain, there is no denying that. But that dude lost his leg... could have been in war or from an infection, but that doesn't really matter. Every single day his life is harder than mine and he hopes I feel better? What perfect timing to get that perspective. God bless him.
Then, in Target, as I waited for the prescriptions to get filled, Tom ran up to buy me some apple juice. He came back and told me that the woman in front of him, with two young children in tow, had snatched the apple juice and paid for it. He told her no, but she insisted, "It's already scanned. I'm not going to make you wait for me to go all the way through. Merry Christmas!" Seriously? This sweet lady didn't even know that Tom was getting that juice for his sick wife. What a small, unforgettable gesture.
Moral of the story, always keep perspective. I've shared with you a detailed account of my awful kidney stone ordeal, which I hope was somewhat amusing... and if not, I can read it to my children as a bedtime story one day, right? Honestly though - no matter what you're struggling with, remember there are people who have it worse, and they still manage to keep their chin up. I would encourage you to remember this especially in the upcoming holiday season, but really, we should be remembering this all year round. Maybe the next time I see a parent with young kids, I can offer to help them get their shopping to their car, because that kind of person once helped me. Or pay for the car behind me in the drive-thru. Or take care of my incredible husband the same way he cared for me while I was sick. Or even just to acknowledge someone who looks lonely and brighten their day. It doesn't need to be anything fancy or costly... because the cost of perspective and compassion is priceless.
Stop Looking For Love
"Ugh... that's what EVERYONE says"
Maybe you should listen!
Have you ever been frantically running out the door because you're late for work but you can't find your freaking phone!?!?! You tear through your bedding, dig through your makeup case, check every pants or coat pocket you see, dig through your purse, and finally dump it out... only to realize... your phone is in your hand?
Everyone has a different love story, but I believe once you find it, you'll look back and realize it was right under your nose! You were just so set on looking for it that you didn't even notice it was RIGHT THERE. A lot of it has to do with timing, but nevertheless, it's just there.
Tom and I, as an example...
We met our freshman year of college. We had a lot of the same classes, and even carpooled to a class off campus. We were just friends. He had a girlfriend, and I had a boyfriend. But we clicked as friends and I verbally told him "I could never date you Tom. You're such a good friend"... and he agreed. We remained friends over the next two years. Our junior year, we worked side-by-side in the IT department on campus. A few of his friends had a thing for me and would go to him for advice, and I was asking him advice on how to get rid of them. Suddenly we were hanging out alone just because we liked each other's company. Still just friends. We went on friend dates and took turns buying drinks or movie tickets.
... and then we kinda got attracted to each other and it was weird. So we decided to TRY dating and see what happened. Well, almost 4 years later and we're married. All those years! He was right under my nose! It's like that quote up above - we quietly gave some love to each other, even if just as friends, and that's what we noticed. I noticed that he was patient, and he noticed that I was sarcastic.
But I wasn't LOOKING for it. The night we started "dating" I had had dinner with a friend and told her I was happy being single. I liked where I was and felt good about myself and independent. Literally TWO hours later I had a boyfriend. Bahaha... If we had dated at any point BEFORE that, I don't think we would have lasted. God knew when the timing would be perfect.
That's just one example though... but go out and ask your friends, parents, siblings, etc. I bet they'll tell you they were NOT looking for it.
All I'm saying is, go out and meet people. Go on dates, but if you don't want to, then don't! Go have coffee by yourself. I once got asked on a date in a Panera Bread while eating alone. Look up from your devices and meet people. If love doesn't come from it, confidence in yourself will.
So don't go looking for it. Pursue God, pursue yourself, and the rest will follow.