10 Things They Don't Tell You Before You Get Married
If you've hung around this blog for any amount of time, you know how much I love talking about marriage. Many times, those posts are positive, but they usually have a serious undertone.
Today, though, it's all for fun - all seriousness has been put aside for the sake of harmless humor.
Marriage is such an adventure and taking it too seriously can create a pretty monotone life. Don't all areas of life need a healthy balance? Marriage is no exception. Though some of these won't relate to every marriage, I'd say the general topics are pretty close across the board... and don't forget to share some of your pleasant marriage surprises in the comments!
1. Bathroom talk happens more than pillow talk.
Not to get all crude on you first thing, but it's just #truelife. If you think this sounds gross or weird, just call me up after your first poop emergency post tying the knot... because it will happen. Or the first time one of you gets the stomach bug. Now, this isn't to say pillow talk is non-existent, but your pillow talk might actually include potty talk. When you share a life with someone, you really do share it all. And it's hilarious.
2. Social situations without them, start to feel boring.
This isn't to say that being away from them is unbearable or un-fun... it's just that your spouse makes them more fun. We have so many inside jokes and glances, that sometimes I'll find myself riding solo at an event making Jim faces at an imaginary husband, desperately wishing he had just shared in an awkward moment with me.
3. In fact, some social situations start to sound like the worst.
Going clubbing, bar hopping, rowdy concerts, spending the weekend with other couples (that aren't your bff couple friends), networking events, and basically any event where everyone else is single.... just to name a few. The upside is, you can easily get out of these situations by throwing your spouse under the bus, and then you congratulate each other on an avoidance well done, by drinking in the comfort of your own home while watching movies in your jamms.
4. You may develop weird names for one another.
They are so weird, I cannot even utter them here. It's like this awkward gradual thing that happens accidentally, when you jumble your words one day while trying to call their name. These names are usually not even remotely based on a real word, which makes them ultra embarrassing and so uncomfortable if anyone hears you mutter it.
5. Dates get less fancy with each passing year.
"Wanna come grocery shopping with me this week? We can pick something that's not on the list...?!"
This will likely be an area that ebbs and flows, but our first two anniversaries were these lovely events with a nice dinner out and dressy attire.
This year, we visited our favorite Indian restaurant in jeans and t-shirts about a week after the day. And I'm not complaining one bit because naan is life.
6. You get really excited about "boring" purchases.
A new fridge?! Dang, that coffee table is sexy. This new frying pan is theeeee best. That light fixture is the beez-kneez. I love our faucet. Listen to the purr of that garbage disposal.
7. Trips become infinitely better.
Roadtrips especially, because of singing along to musicals and/or making up your own songs out of boredom. Talking for hours and taking little detours and staying in weird hotels is just part of the fun. Flights are also better because of airport people watching and sharing music on the plane. Nothing brings you closer together than trying to navigate a large airport as a team.
Back to the potty talk: trips together will solidify this part of your relationship because who has a normal system when traveling? Dire situations arise, and they are almost always hilarious in retrospect.
8. You magically forget what 98% of your arguments were even about.
There's always that one argument that never gets lived down, but aside from that, your arguments all pale in comparison to the funny moments you share. I know we have spent hours on a given day not speaking to one another over some pithy thing... and never can we remember what it was about.
9. Eating at certain restaurants or watching certain shows without the other is soooo sad.
How dare one of you sneaks an episode of Parks and Rec without the other?! Or goes to that restaurant on our date list with some co-workers instead. So much pouting and consolation follows...
"The food really wasn't that good, I promise!"
10. You will feel overwhelmingly blessed to share life with them.
Especially in all the ordinary moments. Or in the weeks when one of you is sick and the other takes such loving care. Life is full of trials and joys and challenges. But with that friend, lover, companion, and mate to laugh and cry with, you can count yourself truly blessed.
What other funny things don't they tell you about marriage?
Secrets To Successful Thrifting
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and The Coca-Cola Company. All opinions are mine alone. #tastehydration #CollectiveBias
As a Midwest girl, Georgia summers are a beast. Of course, summer is expected to be hot (I'm not complaining!), but here in the South, it's paired with an overdose of humidity. Since moving here, I have had to be very diligent about keeping myself hydrated, especially in my daily life when it's easy to forget amidst all the running around.
As it's now July, a prime time of year for garage sales and antiquing, I have been on the hunt for some special pieces to complete our kitchen and living room. Specifically a solid retro-modern coffee table. I love the hunt for an awesome deal on a table I could refinish, or a one-of-kind piece of art, but all that run-around definitely takes it out of you. Let me share with you a few of the steps I take to make sure I'm ready for a hot, summer thrifting day.
1. Pack the essentials
My every day essentials always include:
- A phone charger
- A small roll-on scent
- A favorite lip balm/gloss/lipstick
- VitaminWater® for staying hydrated
- A well organized wallet
- Contact/business cards
2. Map it out
Have you had those days when you feel like you are running from one end of town, to the other, and then back again? And by the end of the day you are completely wiped and feel like you somehow managed to get nothing accomplished?
Between the heat and the traffic of the Atlanta area, it's so easy to find myself in such a scenario - and it leaves me feeling very flustered. So before I even get in the car, I create a game plan for my stops. It really helps to map it all out before I get going and can't use my phone while driving.
Am I picking up groceries that need to get home before they melt? Make that a last stop.
Am I planning on picking up some bulkier items? Better make sure I bring the larger vehicle today.
Sometimes mapping it out can be hard when you're hitting up random garage sales, but it helps to try and get them done first. Their hours may be shorter, while actual stores will be open at reasonable times.
3. Listen to your body
4. Find stores with plenty of stock and variety
Lately, the area antique malls have been drawing me in. Prices range from "ridiculous" to "a steal," but that's what makes it so quirky and fun to sift through. I've seen tables of similar size and shape range from $30 up to $700 (or more!). Sometimes you find an untouched gem, and other times you'll come across a booth of beautiful reclaimed furniture. You may turn up empty handed by the time the day is out, but the experience is definitely an accomplishment in itself, so don't feel discouraged or unproductive!
5. Stop before you get tired
6. Enjoy the process
Thrifting can cause a little burn-out, but if you fight through the urge to quit, it all becomes worth it when you find the perfect pieces to finish your space. Like these amazing side tables we scored for our guest room!
Cost Breakdown : The Kitchen
So renovations are supposed to be this crazy financial burden, right?
Well, yes and no.
No doubt, this renovation was the most costly update to our home, but it was a fraction of what it easily could have been. In fact, when we had Home Depot and Lowes give us a design and estimate, it was well over 12K for the cabinets alone (and they were using smaller room measurements than we ended up with).
We still have a few small bits and pieces to add, of course, because curating your home from a blank slate takes time. We are still learning our style, but we definitely lean towards a mid-century modern minimalist look. It's important to me that the items I put on display are meaningful or serve a purpose. I'm just not one who cares for excess :) There is nothing left to do in this home that is necessary for living our daily lives, though, so it is nice to relax and enjoy finding those final little pieces as they come.
However, now that this project is behind us, I have gone through and sorted out all the costs and will be breaking it down for you. I have not been shy about telling our real life friends how much this thing was, mostly because I think people really should know that a kitchen renovation does not have to cost an arm and a leg. Granted, we saved boatloads by doing it ourselves, but even then, we really hunted around for the best quality for the best price, and I'm thrilled with how it all turned out. I'm super satisfied with IKEA... not only their products, but their customer service. The process for this project (especially since it was DIY) meant we had to have a lot of involvement. IKEA is well aware of the fact that their customers may be doing this themselves, so they are happy to answer any 'dumb' questions concerning installation or what each item listed is used for. That being said, living 40 minutes away from a store was pretty essential to our success with them. For more photos, see the reveal post.
Okay, okay. Enough yammering on... here is the cost breakdown:
Demolition
Blades: $12
Brown paper & tape: $15
Trash bins: $20
Shop Vac & filters: $65
Total: $112
Ceilings
Scaffolding: $0 (We owned a ladder and a bunch of weird wooden island things that came in super handy)
Mud: $35
Industrial sander (rented): $50
Primer: $30
Paint: $40
Total: $155
Walls
Materials for half-wall: $60
Drywall: $70
Mud and tape: (used what was left from ceilings)
Primer: (used what was left from ceilings)
Paint: $80
Trim paint: (already owned from previous projects)
Outlets: $100 (switches, covers, GFCI, boxes)
Electrical: $200
Trim brush: $6
Paint rollers: $10
Total: $526
Plumbing
Piping, valves, p-trap: $160
Total: $160
Appliances
Stove: $499
Fridge: $979
Microwave: $250
Garbage disposal: $50
Sink: $180
Already owned faucets and dishwasher.
Total: $1,958
Other
Cabinets (including handles): $3,900
Countertops: $256
Lighting: $140
Ceiling fan: $35
Misc decor (towels, placemat, planter, drawer liners, utensil trays, plate holders, spice holder and bottles, cutting boards, coffee container, candles, etc..): $300
Total: $4,631
GRAND TOTAL: $7,542
The pictures really don't do this place justice. Our cabinets are huge and very sturdy, our appliances are wonderful (yay for an ice machine!), and the counter space has made such a monumental difference in how we prep and cook.
So for less than 8K we completely re-did our kitchen and part of our living room (it still needs some built-ins on either side of the fireplace). Again, thousands were saved by the fact that we did not hire out for any of the work, but regardless, we did such in-depth research on how to pull this off without breaking the bank and I am pretty proud of how it turned out.
Do you guys have other questions about this project? I would be more than happy to cover any specific topics that you are wondering about!
Hair Tutorial : Messy Waves
In case you didn't hear, I got my hair cut.
As in, ten inches *snip snipped* and I am absolutely loving it. Check out this post to see the before and after photo.
With all that length and no layers (which is what happens when you don't get your hair cut regularly over the course of SEVEN years) my hair had absolutely no body and eventually gave up trying whenever I went to curl it. Like I swear I would put some effort into making my hair look nice and it replied with a completely lachrymose, "nahhh... I'm good. I'mma just lay here and be flat."
So imagine my happiness after my haircut, when I curled it with a flatiron and it held up all day and freely bounced along on my shoulders. It was literally like weight-loss for hair.
It's crazy to think that among my friends in college I was the hairstylist for everyone. I had been the go-to for weddings, nights out, bachelorette parties, date nights, etc... and now only four years out, I feel like I can hardly handle a hair dryer! Over the last couple years I have become extremely lazy in terms of hairstyles, so I'm easing myself back into the habit of primping it more and more. Anyway, I'm now thrilled with the fact that it takes me about fifteen minutes (or less) to put a little texture into my hair via some messy curls. All without the help of a curling iron. My hair is rarely straight anymore! So I thought I'd share with you how I do this easy look.
1. Add some dry shampoo to dry hair.
2. Situate your hair so it's laying naturally. Take various pieces of your hair and begin to curl them with your flatiron so that the curls turn away from your face. Turn the flatiron 90 degrees while letting your hair pass through. As you near the ends of your hair, let your hair out of the iron before the ends pass through. This leaves your ends straight and gives your waves a more "messy" texture.
For this hairstyle, don't worry about curling every single hair. I didn't divide my hair on purpose because I wanted some straight pieces mixed with wavy pieces. You can do this however you want, but this is just how I did it this time!
Continue this throughout each side and don't forget the back.
3. Once you've curled everything you wanted to curl, spritz a little hairspray on everything, tousling a little as you go.
4. Then, run your fingers through your hair, separating curls and bringing the body of your hair together.
5. If you want to / need to, give it a little tease wherever you might need it. My hair is fine and thin, so it can always use a little 'oomph' here and there.
...but teasing can sometimes turn out a little crazy!
6. Gently comb away the mess and fly-aways, and give it a finishing spritz of hairspray throughout. Voila! So easy.
Not only is it cute when it's down and styled this way, but even when I pull it up a little, it still looks textured and fun.
Seem easy enough? Let me know if you try this and have any luck with it!
June | 2016
Today,
I want to share with you all the little pieces behind the scenes. As much as I love a well framed photograph and a picturesque street, life doesn't always look like that. So since this community is about authentic truths, once a month, I'd like to fill you in on what else may be happening that doesn't necessarily make it to the blog - just for fun - and because that's real life!
These monthly posts may be a little wordy, and they may contain different content depending on how busy or slow a month had been, or what's been taking up top real estate in my mind as of late. I might include favorite posts or blogs from around my networks, playlists, videos to see, places to check out... who knows! I'm not going to box these posts in to any theme in particular because I want them to serve as a recap and a little monthly inspiration for you. Maybe you'll learn some thrifty date night secrets (hint: you're about to hear one) or embarrassing stories. There are no rules for these posts, so you'll just have to open them up and be surprised!
And if there are any topics you'd like to see more of please share them with me in the comments. Seriously - I'd love to know what kind of inspiration you may be looking for each month!
If you're entirely new to Joy Lynn, welcome! There have been some lovely new faces on my social media as of late, and I'm thrilled you're joining us. Stop by my about page or explore the different categories in the menu. This is a community where we share real stories, experiences, triumphs, and failures... but we keep in mind that our lives are filled with blessings, if only we take a moment to acknowledge them. We strive for grateful hearts amidst life's constant ebbs and flows.
latest adventures
Our thrifty date of the month was... *drum roll* ... to an event at our bank! I am definitely not joking. And you may be laughing, but our bellies were filled with free food from the various restaurant vendors, and we might just win $500 from the raffle (doubtful). They had free tacos, guys! The best part is, we almost showed up exactly on time, and we would have been the first ones there (awkward), so we went to Home Depot and looked at plants for a half hour, which was obviously super romantic.
Also this month, you may have seen a post on social media regarding our last minute camping overnight. During our dinner conversation on a Friday night, we suddenly decided to just head towards the mountains with our tent and an air mattress, and that's exactly what we did. I am constantly amazed that we can find such beauty only an hour north! And the next morning we may have had Waffle House for the first time since moving here.... and then unashamedly returned the morning after that. Who knew their pecan waffles were so amazing?!
- Have any of you ever tried a Drybar? They basically just wash and blow-dry your hair into a nice style that could last you several days. I had the opportunity to act as a guinea pig for a new girl, and my hair was so dang long it took her an hour just to dry it. Then she had to curl everything twice and it still went flat the minute I left. It was a fun little spa-type treatment, but my hair isn't a type that holds curl for very long. So, the next day... I chopped it off! I ended up donating ten inches. Georgia is too hot and humid for long, straight hair like mine anyway, so getting it cut makes me feel so much cooler.... literally.
- We tried a cute little donut shop one morning before church, because who can resist those sprinkles?! And because we rarely get donuts, so it was a treat :)
- Estate sales are all over the place down here in the South. We don't usually find anything worth the prices, but a few weeks ago, Tom found the full Les Miserable 10th Anniversary concert on CD for fifty cents. Guys, I seriously sing Les Mis every.single.day. without the CD... so you can bet there is an extra amount of singing going on in my car lately, and I like to think the people at the stop lights are my fans (haha). If you have never listened to Les Mis, step away from the Hollywood version and Youtube the 10th anniversary concert right this second. Those are the greats.
Probably the most exciting part of June, though, was getting the kitchen finished and new appliances added. You can see the post on the kitchen reveal here. We finished it right around our one year hous-iversary (when we closed on our house) and I must say, I'm pretty impressed with the amount of work we've managed to squeeze into one year in this place! Thanks, those of you who followed along and offered some virtual high-fives in support. It feels amazing to be done, and we are thrilled to have the opportunity to host various travelers in our awesome new space.
Currently, I'm pouring over decor (specifically coffee tables, side tables, and accent chairs) to give our living room a more cohesive feel. Since our living room, entryway, kitchen, and dining are all essentially one big room, everything really needs to work together. My living room Pinterest board and entryway Pinterest board may give you some idea of what styles I'm looking for. These pieces from Amazon have been catching my eye because I think we may DIY our coffee and side tables.
blogs to explore
- Poppy Anthology
- Stay Gold Autumn (who is actually a real life friend of mine!)
- A Short Blonde
- Little Dove
How was your June? Anything you want to share? Comment below - I love hearing your stories.
Stay tuned for the July edition - it may look entirely different from this one which is half the fun!
Loving Your Spouse Amidst A Busy Season
We've all been there.
When the days and weeks are busy and only get busier. Maybe there are kids in tow or maybe your work hours go late and your projects build up. Maybe you're in a constant state of driving from one thing to the next and hardly have a moment to yourself, and when you finally do, giving that time to your spouse can feel like just another thing. Another cumbersome addition to an already hectic schedule.
But showing love to your spouse shouldn't have a resting place on the backburner. Marriage takes work and consistent affection... and I don't mean affection in the grandiose gestures of the word. You don't need to make a candlelight dinner three times a week and give each other gifts several times a month. It's in the little things, little moments, and little actions that can show your spouse you're thinking about them and their needs more often than they know.
In a recent conversation with my husband on this topic he said,
"I like getting loved by small gestures. Not to say big ones aren't great, but small ones are almost more considerate. It's almost like saying "I love you so much I'm willing to try to make even the smallest thing better for you." Like, even THAT much. But not many people are willing to inconvenience themselves to make someone else's life barely more convenient and you have to really know someone in order to know just exactly how to make their day a little better."
I love how he explained this phenomenon so simply. From his last statement, we discussed how amazing it is to have the privilege of being the one who really knows how to love someone in the little ways. So from our home to yours.....
Here are a few ways you can love your spouse amidst a busy season:
1. Take one of their errands for them
It doesn't have to be anything major. But if you've heard them mention all the places they need to go and for what items, maybe you could swing by one of those places on your way home from work and save them a trip or two.
2. Get their day started right
Are they always the ones making coffee and getting lunches prepared? Beat them to the task.
3. Give the living areas a once over
Pick up and fold blankets, put away toys, and sweep up the kitchen... all without them knowing until morning comes around and they notice the sweet gesture. Apparently Tom randomly sweeps the kitchen without me ever knowing, just so it's one house task I don't even have to think about or notice needs attention. Ummm heart eyes for days!! (He just admitted this to me as we talked about this topic).
4. Choose a show or movie they love, even if you don't
Of course it's nice to watch shows together that you both enjoy, but sometimes it's just nice to watch one of your personal favorites at the urging of your spouse... with your spouse.
5. Tidy up what's "theirs"
Again, such a little thing, but picking up their shoes, cleaning up their bedside table that's gathered receipts galore, and staying on top of the laundry for their sake instead of just yours shows a lot of love, care, and respect.
6. Hide things around the house you know they'll find
Like little fun-sized candies, a love note (or in our case, a note with something sassy written on it), some cash for a drink at Starbucks, upcoming tickets to a movie or show, etc...
Hide them in places they'll definitely look. Like in a makeup drawer, next to their deodorant, inside their laptop/briefcase, on their car seat, etc... Tom did this one morning during our renovation, and it had me giggling so hard every time I opened up a cabinet or looked inside a box of drawers and found a mini Kit-Kat!
7. Keep your mouth shut
Sometimes it's easy to play the nag... and both the person nagging, and the one being nagged get sick of hearing it. It can be so loving to just clean up a mess they made without saying anything about it. Even when that little mess drives you up a WALL because you see it happen daily. By keeping quiet, you're giving them some room to breathe and make mistakes. It inconvenienced you, but sometimes you inconvenience him/her too. We're all human!
8. Give them some quality "veg time."
I imagine this would be an especially loving gesture with kids in the mix. Let them hang out alone and play video games, peruse Pinterest, or watch their favorite show uninterrupted.
9. Make their favorite
Cooking up their favorite meal, even if it's one that takes you forever, is an easy way to put their needs above yours and show them you care.
10. Send them a photo
Did you come across something in your day that made you laugh or think of them? Snap a photo and let them know! It's one of the fun parts of living in a tech-y world.
11. Tell them to go do something they enjoy
Maybe that means shopping, getting their hair or nails done, going to a cigar bar, buying that new tool... or what about trying that brewery or restaurant they really want to check out, but you don't? Give them the "okay" on some splurges they don't often give themselves.
12. Compliment them
Sometimes it's so easy to go through a day with the person you live with and forget to acknowledge all the little things they do. Or forget to tell them how smokin' hot they are. Or how much they amaze you with their talents and smarts. If anyone in your life on earth deserves your praise, it's the person you walk through life with each day. And they really ought to hear it... maybe they know, but something about hearing those things out loud can really hit your soft spot.
13. Hug it out
Again, so sooooo simple. But giving them a squeeze and a smooch before parting ways in the morning, and upon coming home, and everything in between... is good for the heart and soul.
14. Pray for them
This one tops the list. What better way to love your spouse than to thank the Creator for them every day!!
What would you add?
Kitchen Reveal
It's been quite the journey to get to the kitchen renovation finish line, but we have made it... and in pretty good time, if I do say so myself! We have been up and running for a couple of weeks now, but just recently scored some awesome deals on new appliances that we had been waiting for. These deals showed up earlier than expected, and what's better, if the prices go down at Best Buy or a competitor in the next 45 days, they'll match it.
I'm not being paid to say this, but I gotta give a little plug to Best Buy. They were incredibly easy to work with and their price match guarantee was super easy. They didn't even raise an eyebrow when we showed them a price almost $200 under what they were charging. Then, at no extra charge, they had our new appliances loaded into our house about 48 hours later. It was amazing!! I just think it's important to acknowledge great customer service that goes beyond what's expected and they certainly proved that to me.
Back to the reveal and the photos... because let's be real, I'm lucky if you're actually reading what I'm typing right now. You're here for the pictures, I know, I know.
If you need a refresher on the progress photos try Progress 1 and Progress 2.
Keep in mind, we still have some pieces to add in terms of decor and a backsplash and so on, but now that we're able to use the space, those things can come along later - bit by bit. And if you're wondering at all where something is from I'm just gonna go ahead and simplify the answer for you: IKEA. The lights, the counters, the handles, the table, the couch... There are some exceptions, but I actually chuckle a little when I look around and am surrounded by IKEA! I am soooo happy we chose them and I'll get more in depth on that in another post.
Okay, okay, now I mean it... PICTURES (click to enlarge):
Being Neighborly
Growing up in a small town, your neighbors weren't just the nice folks next door, they were friends. The "I need a cup of sugar" kind of relationships. The place where your kids were free to roam, and you knew there were eyes keeping extra watch (and not calling you in to CPS). Where people often barged right in, knew all your business, and had you covered when you needed an extra hand or had something great to celebrate. I carry such fond memories of wandering over to the neighbor lady's house to play cards and get a popsicle (without mom even knowing), running through the yards and alleys in my bare feet, or racing the neighbor kids on a pink and white bike.
Since moving off to college, I've lived more of a city life. Sadly, many cities are prone to giving you a hard edge because you have to be observant and a little cold so as not to be taken advantage of. That's not to say all people in cities are careless jerks, but when you hear about the things that happen to well-meaning people, you learn to watch your back and make fewer friends out of strangers.
Though you'd assume the opposite, apartment living is usually very "keep to yourself" in nature. Partly because you may have a secret annoyance with the people above, below, or around you and the noise they make or the smells they emit... so it's better to remain in a "hellos only" sort of relationship. Frankly, you're already sharing enough in terms of walls, that sharing more of your life seems like an invasion of privacy. Yes, I'm aware of how cold and hands-off that sounds, but isn't it true? This is not always true - there are certainly exceptions (which I have also experienced), but for the most part, apartment-neighbor relationships are mostly passive at best.
After living in apartments like that for years, being a grown adult and having actual neighbors in a neighborhood can be an awkward transition. Still in a very populated city-scape, I must admit, it's hard to create a comfortable bond with the strangers nearest in proximity to us. They've all been extremely friendly and welcoming, and even gave us a lovely sunflower plant (which I promptly killed.. poor things didn't know about my extreme lack of a green thumb). But after the initial "hello, nice to meet you, tell me about yourself, goodbye" interaction, where do you go from there?
Well, here's a good place to start...
It was a simple gesture, but a little love and thoughtfulness went into it. Some homemade banana bread (because when do Tom and I ever eat an entire bunch of them?) with a note, fresh tulip, and little wooden box to tote them in. All in all, this probably cost around $5 a box.
So often I am guilty of overthinking even the smallest of gestures.
"What if they're allergic? What if they don't like bananas? What if they already have too many boxes or vases like these and don't want more?" ... and on and on. Maybe that sounds silly, but as someone who doesn't show or receive love through gifts, it's really hard for me to be thoughtful in that way. But then I realized how much I love to bake and how easy it is to share that joy with others and I decided to put my what-ifs aside and just do it. They can throw it away if they want, but at least I could offer a kind gesture of friendship to the people next door, with a note thanking them for being a blessing to our life.
And you know what? It opened up conversation and community.
For $5, I'd say this neighborly gesture was worth it. If even just for the smile.