What's The Deal with the DockATot?
If you've had to make a baby registry in the last couple years, there's no way you could miss the DockATot. It's everywhere you look and seems to…
I received the DockATot compliments of the company
If you've had to make a baby registry in the last couple years, there's no way you could miss the DockATot. It's everywhere you look and seems to be the new most coveted baby product. Why, though? It doesn't seem like anything super groundbreaking, does it? Well, I honestly had some of the same thoughts. It's got to be overrated, right? Especially for the price...
Nope.
Guys, this thing is amazing.
(If you know me, you also know I never give my stamp of approval on this blog unless I wholeheartedly mean it. So this is my honest review of the DockATot).
When you're looking for items to add to your registry, of course you need to find products that give you the ability to safely put your little one down. Whether it's for them to take a nap, for you to rest your arms, or just a place they can be alert and you don't need to worry about them rolling off a bed or couch. Even a place for some supervised tummy time. The DockATot hits all the marks. It is the primary place of sleep for our little guy. He loves it! We have another very popular product for setting baby down, and he'll choose the DockATot over that thing every time (and when I say "choose" I mean, he'll settle there far easier than the other product).
It comes in two sizes - The Deluxe (0-8 months) and Grand (9-36 months). It was designed in Sweden and is handmade in Europe. It has been tested for breathability and is OEKO-TEX certified. It can be used as a multi-functional lounger, co-sleeper, and playtime lounger.
The other big thing for me, when creating our registry, was finding products that weren't ugly as sin. If you read my minimalist modern registry post, you'll know that I tried to find the least "baby-ish" baby items I could find. I wanted products that were very useful and functional, but would fit into my home's aesthetic. This was honestly really hard (blah - so many ugly baby things!) but I think it ended up being a success in the end. The DockATot obviously fits into that requirement as well. However, for those who like patterns, it does have lots of options for covers.
When do we use it and how?
Day and night. I lay him down for naps in it and place it either on the couch in the living room, or on our bed. This allows me to get work done, and if I choose to nap when he's napping, I know I won't roll over onto him. We also use it at bedtime and it's where he sleeps. In the mornings, he wakes up very alert and happy, and we let him kick and flail in there while we talk to him and interact for a while. For tummy time, we gently rest his arms and head on the side, and let his body curl up in the rest of the DockATot while he practices holding that head up.
Would I recommend the DockATot?
Yes. 100%. Even my mom, who has her old school ways and tried-and-true mindset on the old versus new products, loved it. When she and my dad were here in the first couple of weeks, she used it constantly and talked about how useful it was. I thought that had some meaning!
I suppose it would depend on what you'd use it for, though. It's our go-to spot for setting him down, but if your baby prefers a bouncy seat or swing, perhaps those would be better for your particular child. We just happen to use it for so many functions that I would say it is worth its weight in gold :)
So that's the "deal" with the DockATot you keep hearing about. It's minimal, functional, and my four week old baby loves it (and clearly so do lots of other babies, considering how popular it has become!). There you have it. My honest review!
Comment below if you have any questions for me regarding the DockATot, or if you also have one and love it too!
Third Trimester Recap
Phew! It feels like AGES since I wrote my second trimester recap! Here we are though, in the final stretch. I'm writing this at 38 weeks purely…
Phew! It feels like AGES since I wrote my second trimester recap! Here we are though, in the final stretch. I'm writing this at 38 weeks purely because I have no clue what'll happen in the next few weeks... but really, if this guy wants to come early, that is FINE with momma! This trimester was a doozy. Let me expand...
Symptoms
Lightening crotch - He has been head down for a really long time, if not the entire trimester, so the pressure he puts on my nerves down there have been super noticeable.
Body aches and changes - yeah, I'm uncomfy. Backaches, puffy feet and sometimes hands, sitting just feels like you're squishing everything, standing makes your legs tired and back hurt, so I've actually found a lot of relief on those stupid exercise balls! I use it as a chair in the house and enjoy bouncing on it - haha! Our birthing class had us try them out, and I'm always such a skeptic about stuff like that, but I legitimately found it helpful, so we ordered one.
Boobs - sometimes I get a stinging feeling which is uncomfortable. Still leaking a bit.
Weird appetite - one minute I'm starving, the next I'm stuffed. I've been a little nauseous, too.
Tired - Some days feel like the first trimester all over again and I could just konk out for hours.
Bad sleep - I sleep like garbage now. Moving on....
Hemorrhoids - yep, no end in sight.
Peeing - only about a thousand times per day and night!
Clear skin - I love my skin right now. It's so low maintenance!
Braxton Hicks - such a weird feeling, and have had times when they're a little uncomfortable, but I don't mind them.
Sciatic nerve pain - oh boy is that a doozy. Pain from your lower back, through your bottom, and down your leg. No thanks!
Leg cramps - basically just Charlie Horse cramps sometimes at night. I've only had maybe three, but they always feel terrible!
Cravings
Honestly can't say I've had any this trimester.
30 weeks
Third Trimester Journal
I didn't keep track week by week this trimester (oops!), so I'll give you a thorough overview.
Weight gain has honestly been slow and steady. I've gained probably around 25lbs at this point? But to be honest, I don't really care about that and haven't paid much attention. To me, as long as it stayed within healthy parameters and didn't get out of hand, I'd be fine with whatever it ended up coming to. I haven't gained anything astronomical, so I seriously don't even care.
34 weeks
At our 20 week scan, they noticed one of his kidneys had a tiny bit of dilation to it, so they scheduled another scan around 34 weeks to see if it resolved itself or got worse. Well, it doubled, unfortunately, so I got sent to a high risk clinic so we could have them look at it to be safe. We've now had two appointments (and ultrasounds) there, and over two weeks, it went down a little bit. Thankfully, whatever it may be isn't anything we need to worry about and it's apparently very common in boys (10x more common, according to the doc), so since no one else is concerned, neither are we. They'll have it checked out once he arrives, but he's just a healthy little dude otherwise, so it's nothing urgent, and certainly not life threatening, so I'm not worried at all. He probably just needs to pee and hasn't quite figured that out yet ;) Oh and we got to see his hair in those ultrasounds, which is crazy!
35.5 weeks
At around 36 weeks, I got a sinus infection and had to be on amoxicillin to get that under wraps. I'm still completely stuffed up and can't smell or taste a thing, but between pregnancy puffing up my blood flow, and the terrible allergies, this is basically just my life now. I also found out at 36 weeks that I'm 1cm dilated and 50% effaced, and sadly it didn't go any further by the following week.
At the end of 37 weeks, baby measured 7lbs 3oz on an ultrasound. We might have a big guy!
During my 38 week appointment, my blood pressure had gone up a little from my norm, so my doctor told me to watch for more symptoms of preeclampsia (which is not real fun to hear!) and to call if I notice anything different.
Baby movement is still fun and consistent, but you can definitely tell he's running out of room! Tom and I love seeing my belly morph around when he's got the squirms.
We also took breastfeeding and birthing classes which were informative and also kinda funny (to us). Getting the hospital tour was fun, and getting a few ideas for pain management was useful. We finished some house projects, enjoyed a few dates, celebrated our 5th anniversary, I got my hair done, and packed a hospital bag.
37 weeks
I guess to sum up this trimester, I'd say it was the most apparent in terms of physical changes and the most difficult in terms of discomfort. For example, at this point, sitting in the car (let alone driving) is extremely uncomfy and I basically avoid it as much as I can. Everything feels like such a chore -- getting up from the couch or floor, bending down to pick up something I dropped, taking off/putting on pants or shoes, and getting out of bed a million times a night to pee. Even trying to do the dishes is proving difficult as my belly keeps me and my short arms farther and farther away from the faucet! Don't get me wrong, Tom and I have found a LOT of humor in my lessened capabilities, but it's definitely starting to get old.
It's also probably been the most nerve-wracking trimester. I'm usually a big worrier about medical things, but for some reason, pregnancy hasn't caused me much anxiety... until these last couple weeks. I'm stressed, Tom has an endoscopy, we have some loose ends to get in place before arrival, I'm really wary of a decrease or increase in movement or possible contractions, and I'm just generally nervous/excited. I've really hit the "done point" so I think it's time we get this guy out of my belly.
All that to say... we cannot wait to meet our little boy, and it's hard to believe it'll be so SOON! Keep your eyes peeled for the announcement!
I should also mention, that once he's here, you can expect far and in-between posts for a while as we figure out life with our new bundle, so I appreciate your patience, love, and understanding :) I'll be back to the blog, but I'm not going to pressure myself to jump back in. We have waited so long for this baby, and I know we will just want to soak him in. I'm sure you can all understand that. Just know I love you all and will SO look forward to being back when I'm ready!
We Got Carpet, But Saved Our Hardwoods
So, this isn't a very glamorous post, but a while back, I mentioned on Instagram that we got carpet for our home. Several people showed interest...
So, this isn't a very glamorous post, but a while back, I mentioned on Instagram that we got carpet for our home. Several people showed interest in hearing about this, so I'm here to oblige! The kicker was that we didn't want to ruin the beautiful hardwoods underneath with a bunch of nails, so we opted for rugs.
However, I wanted wall-to wall carpet for our bedroom and the nursery - I'm a carpet person, what can I say?! Plus, if I'm being honest, I really don't care for most area rugs and they are often overpriced in my opinion, for not that great of quality. I wanted real carpet that would have a serious will to live amongst a large dog and a baby. This would have been really hard to find amidst regular area rugs (with super specific dimensions and so on), so we decided we'd try the "custom rug" route.
The problem that arises from that choice, of course, is cost.
Or is it a problem...?
That's when Tom started to hunt around.
We wanted wall-to-wall custom rugs for two bedrooms and nearly wall-to-wall in our living room, plus padding. What makes them "custom area rugs" are the finished edges and specified dimensions.
We live in Tennessee, but between Nashville and Atlanta are the big carpet manufacturers, such as Mohawk and Shaw. These feed into stores like Home Depot or even your local carpet-only businesses. We used to pass by their huge warehouses on our way up north, so when Tom remembered they were there, he looked for some companies near them that might work with us, and landed on Myers Carpet of Dalton. Honestly, Tom should really write this post, because he did all the corresponding and ordering, but I'll do my best - haha!
He got in touch with them and had a few conversations with a sales rep about what we were looking for in terms of needs (durable, pet friendly, easy to care for), material (we wanted Nylon for the reasons mentioned a second ago), color (neutral speckled grey), and pile/weight (our last house had such cheap carpet, and we wanted something more luxurious and that wouldn't mat quickly). Most, if not all, of the companies in that area have terrible websites with no pricing, poor filtering of options, and what looks like a limited selection. I'm sure if you know your carpet lingo and have the brands memorized, you'd have a breeze browsing them, but for the carpet novice, they're a bit... crappy.
However, it turns out that they are that way because these stores don't actually have real restrictions on inventory or options. The guy that Tom talked to let him know that if we could find a carpet type/color/weight/company, it would 9 times out of ten be manufactured just down the road from their office. They don't have prices online, because they sell mainly to the carpet stores you have in town, and have to keep that info under wraps for the sake of competition. When we first heard their price quotes for the same types of material we'd been looking at in Home Depot and the other stores, we thought it was a mistake. Basically, the places in Dalton Georgia don't compete with Home Depot, they sell to Home Depot, who then puts their own profit on top of it. The price we'd be paying from them was almost half of what we had expected to find elsewhere because we could cut out the middle man.
Once we'd figured that out, they shipped us a handful of small samples to look over based off of some pictures that the sales rep had texted to us - free of charge.
We took 24 hours to look at each of the samples in all the rooms we wanted them in, and in different light, and easily made our choice.
Then we measured each room's exact dimensions about four times to be positive, and sent our dimensions off to our contact with the sample name we liked and the margin we wanted them to stay at. We wanted a close fit so we asked for only a 1/2" margin from the wall to the edge of the carpet. With that all in hand, we placed our order.
After a few days, Tom got a phone call from the sales rep and found out that they would be out of the exact pile and weight of the carpet we'd chosen. So as not to wait, we chose to go with an even higher pile material, because we fancy, yes, but also because it would only end up adding about $.15 a square foot. Gotta give those toes some luxe.
Was it the most effortless process? No. Were we totally convinced that everything would come out 100% as we'd hoped? No. The phone/text/email back and forth was a little convoluted and drawn out, but our rep, Madison, did a great job keeping us in the loop about where were in the manufacturing process, even going as far as to call Tom a few times to chat with the people actually cutting our carpet to make sure everything was correct.
The shipping also was a bit of a waiting period, but as they make rugs for a lot of different businesses, we had to wait until the Nashville delivery truck was full until our carpet could be sent. This made the shipping much cheaper though, so we didn't sweat it.
Once it was sent to a carpet store in Nashville, that place called us up and set up a delivery time. Tom talked to the rep at that store, and it turned out that our white-glove delivery price was about half of what it would have been had we gone straight with them. It ended up costing a little more than what we had been quoted by the manufacturer, but it was still much less than we'd have paid otherwise.
And guys...
It feels AMAZING. Literally the thickest carpet we've ever had. So thick that Tom has to vacuum for me because our vacuum can barely get through it. Not because it's tall, but because it's just... so..... dense. I never realized how much I inadvertently cringed each night when I'd roll out of bed to use the bathroom in the night and touch the cold hardwood. The first night we had the carpet, I actually smiled in the dark because I felt so quiet and cozy! Anyways, yeah, everyone under this roof is pretty dang thrilled about it... including Hondo, who is glad to not be sliding from room to room. But I'm happy to expand on it more in a message if you wanted more detail on anything!
To recap:
We ordered (nearly) wall-to-wall carpet for three rooms, using custom dimensions, high pile/high quality Nylon material, with finished edges, fast turn-around, white glove delivery and install (meaning, they moved all of our furniture and laid it), padding, and no sales tax (because it was out of state) all for....
$1,730
Now you might think this sounds steep, but take into account that the particular carpet we chose would have cost upwards of $8.50 per square foot from anywhere else. That's just the carpet. We got EVERYTHING listed above for around $5.50 per square foot.
Oh and if you saw this awesome barn door hardware on my Instagram this past week, we got it from Wikibuy which is a website and Chrome extension that finds you the best prices online! This was gifted to me, but I love using their site. We had been dying to get a sliding door put in, because our master is small and we wanted to remove the area a swinging door took up. We are SO glad to have it!
Our Minimalist-Modern Baby Registry
If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm not big on "stuff." Search for "minimalist" on my blog and lots of posts will come up...
If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm not big on "stuff." Search for "minimalist" on my blog and lots of posts will come up. This is not to say that our home is a vast quarry of echoey rooms and empty closets - not at all - but gifts and shopping are just not the way to my heart (food is, though).
When it came time to organize a registry of items for our upcoming baby, I was excited....
..until I saw how many baby things there ARE in the world!
Talk about overwhelming! So, for months I spent tons of time diligently reading reviews and narrowing down our list to lots of basics and very little fluff. The way we saw it, should our baby need more, we can get it after he's here. They don't need much, so as I am in all areas of our home, I kept it minimal.
Below, I've created a handy infographic that you can Pin, but each number correlates below for further explanation. Of course, this does exclude a few things like diapers and wipes and bottles (which are pretty par-for-the-course), but these are all items I am starting with.
1. Crib: Ours is the SUNDVIK from IKEA and I love the enclosed ends and minimal, simple look. Plus, that price is pretty great. We also purchased a mattress from IKEA and went with their mid-priced one.
2. Glider-Swivel-Recliner: I really wanted something particularly comfortable, so we splurged on this a bit. It's the Baby Relax Rylan and honestly, it's my favorite piece of furniture in the house right now. It's very roomy, and is even comfy enough that I could see myself falling asleep in it with a baby in my arms.
3. Dresser: We already had this from IKEA (that you definitely need to anchor to the wall for safety) and it's minimal, spacious, and doubles as a changing table AND side table next to the glider.
4. Changing pad: Pretty straightforward - just a good basic for those littles. We also got this Burts Bees cover.
5. Nursery blanket: Of course, baby needs blankets, but I loved the idea of having one for myself and baby to snuggle under that is meant just for the nursery. This one is from Lorena Canals. It's handmade and has these super cute pom-tassels on each corner. Care is easy as it's machine washable, but it just feels like such a little luxury to have in the nursery. Since it's handmade, the dye may differ slightly from one to the next, but I think that's such an awesome upside to own something truly unique! Lorena Canals also carries amazing, washable rugs (which is seriously such an amazing feature). I received this beautiful blanket courtesy of Lorena Canals.
6. Metal step trash: This one is small and out of the way. Several people suggested a small one because you'll want to empty it often anyways, but the stainless steel will help trap the smell between changes.
7. Nest cam: Personally, I've heard enough creepy stories about baby monitors being hacked, that we opted for something we felt was more secure. This Nest cam should be great!
8. Sleepers: I am not super into complicated outfits for tiny babies. They just seem coziest and easiest to change when they're in a simple little sleeper. We have a week's worth in Newborn and perhaps just a couple more than that for 0-3.
9. Onesies: Probably the most basic of all baby necessities. Onesies can be worn alone, under sleepers, with little pants, etc... and this pack is a cute neutral choice.
10. Fridababy NoseFrida: This nose aspirator practically has a cult following! I had a lot of people suggest this to me, and figured it could be my one peer-pressure-induced purchase.
11. Basic newborn kit: Another good basic that includes nail clippers, a brush, little nail files, and more.
12. Bath towel: Gotta wrap that baby up and keep them cozy after a bath :)
13. Washcloths: A few soft, gentle washcloths for bath time, of course.
14. Dock-A-Tot: There are a lot of options out there for multi-functional baby loungers, but I just kept coming back to the Dock-A-Tot. I love that it's been tested for breathability, is all-natural 100% cotton, handmade in Europe, and comes in two sizes (Deluxe or Grand). You can use it for supervised tummy-time, changing diapers, playing, resting, lounging, etc... This page on their website really explains the uses and functionality of it. I'm so excited to have a safe, cozy spot to put my baby boy! It's fun to picture him resting in it next to me on the couch or soaking in some cozy mornings in bed. I'll be back once he's here with a review for you. I received a Dock-A-Tot courtesy of their company.
15. Rock N' Play: This is something every parent I know seems to swear by. It'll be nice to have a place off the floor to put our little bub. Especially when I picture our big bear dog, and his serious lack of personal space - haha! This should keep baby comfy and safe from Hondo's overly loving snuggles.
16. Baby gym: These always offer a nice spot for stimulation and play, and I particularly liked this simple, minimal one from IKEA.
17. Swaddle blankets: I could hoard swaddles and muslins all the day long! I'm a sweatshirt person, and for some reason, baby blankets are my baby equivalent to sweatshirts.
18. Toys and Books: Honestly, we have not gone overboard at all. We bought the two pictured, and only have a couple more. Kids get so many toys, and I think this is going to be an area I'll be pretty picky as a parent and aspiring minimalist. "Babies don't need much" is my mantra!
19. Carseat cover: This is one of those 4-in-1 covers. It can be used as a scarf, nursing cover, carseat cover, and cart cover. I love how stretchy and breathable it is. Not sure how many of the four functions I'll actually use it for, but I love the options and material!
20. Backpack diaper bag: When it comes to purses, I have always been a cross-body kinda girl. I hate totes that drape over my arm or I have to balance on my shoulder, so I've always known that a stylish backpack would be the choice for me. This one is structured and has SUCH awesome places for storage and organization. I can't wait to use it!
21. Travel system: Carseats are obviously a necessity, but I also liked that we found one that came with a nice stroller. Of course, there are a million options based on price, if it can convert to a two-child stroller to last through your next baby, etc... but ultimately the decision is up to you. We decided on a middle-of-the-road system in terms of price and quality, and I'm really excited to use it.
There you have it - our minimalist-modern baby registry! Of course, as I mentioned, there are other basics that I excluded (thermometer, diapers, wipes, socks, etc...) but beyond the very, very basics, this is really it for us! We didn't go overly boyish or babyish and kept it all pretty modern and neutral. Once you figure out an aesthetic and "niche" (if you will) of baby items that suit you, they become easier to find. I'll have a review on the Dock-A-Tot once our little guy has arrived, but I think we are going to love it! The material is so much softer in person than I expected, and it just feels so cozy for baby!
Plant Themed Nursery Tour
We haven't done what I'd call "decorating" since we moved into our new place. Mostly it's been getting used to new storage spaces and...
We haven't done what I'd call "decorating" since we moved into our new place. Mostly it's been getting used to new storage spaces and settling in.
But the nursery? Well, those silly ol' nesting instincts kicked right in. There are so many cute nursery ideas online and even just within those few baby aisles of Target, but the more I looked at them, the more my mind wandered to my own ideas.
Enter: The plant theme
I naturally gravitate towards cool colors - greens and blues - so creating a neutral boy's nursery was honestly pretty easy for me. I settled on a plant theme so it would have a sense of life to it, outside of animals and whatnot.
I also have to admit... I hate how baby things always look so... well... BABY-ish! My mom keeps giving me a hard time about this, but I can't help it! A baby doesn't know the difference between a teddy bear theme and a plant theme, so why do I have to put baby animals all over?! Haha - this is by no means a dig at anyone else's preferences. It's just a style decision I made that certainly won't hurt the child's development, and won't make me feel cringey every time I go in there. I can honestly say, I lovvvvvve the look of this nursery and it feels super cozy and cohesive to the rest of our house.
Once I landed on the theme, I decided to watercolor the prints myself (because I had a picture of how I wanted them to look). I'm not super talented with drawing and painting, but I figured if they turned out crappy, I would move on to buying them. But I actually like the amateur look of them and they totally make the space!
If you're curious where things in this room are from, I'll list them below the photo tour. Oh, but the Bernese Mountain Dog is NOT for sale ;) Ugh. He's so photogenic.
Item links
From Amazon:
From IKEA and others:
Crib
Crib mattress
Fur rug
Dresser
Drawer organizers
Frames - Wal-Mart and spray painted gold
Mobile - various items from Hobby Lobby
Laundry basket - HomeGoods
Five Years Married
To commemorate five years, I thought I'd do this year's anniversary post a little differently. I sought out or made up some marriage-y questions...
Well, guys, it's been FIVE years! I seriously love every day we've spent together, and the last five years have been nothing short of fun. Sure, there have been some trials in there, but together and with Christ as the center, we've managed to consistently keep life and marriage pretty darn happy. I don't mean to come across braggy or humble braggy or whatever, but it's just the truth. It's our story, our experience, and our personal take. I'm pretty stinking thrilled that we get to do life together. Soon we'll be starting our next crazy adventure as parents (ahh!!), and I cannot wait for the inevitable laughter and tears of this next season. We always keep each other laughing, and try not to take things so seriously that we can't appreciate the little joys.
To commemorate five years, I thought I'd do this year's anniversary post a little differently. I sought out or made up some marriage-y questions. Some are a little "Newlywed Game-esque" and some are more long form, but basically we did a little marriage interview! We both answered each one, so read on for our answers to those burning questions you have about Tom and I. In fact, we answered all of these just last night over our anniversary dinner and cocktails (mocktail for me, of course). This was super fun, and I hope you enjoy, too!
I'd like to point out that stupid balloon. I grabbed it in the dollar section thinking it was MUCH bigger and I cracked up when Tom blew it up! Haha womp womp tiny balloon!
Describe our first kiss in one word.
Tom: Awkward
Joy: … definitely awkward.
(I should note, we were essentially best friends, so it was suuuuuper weird kissing your best friend all of a sudden. However, after that one kiss it wasn’t very awkward anymore ;) )
What were your top 3 moments together from this last year?
Tom: Iceland, finding out that Joy is pregnant, moving to Nashville.
Joy: Having Hondo for a year, finding out I’m pregnant, and moving to Nashville. I would also say Iceland, but I got limited by three!
What do you know about marriage now, that you didn’t know 5 years ago?
Tom: I feel like I didn’t know anything about marriage 5 years ago. All you have to go on is what others tell you about it, and I don’t think they did it justice. For guys, there’s a perception that you give up a lot by getting married, which is so far from reality. It’s amazing, it’s fun, it’s so much better than before, and it gets better every day.
Joy: I just don’t think you can quite fathom how love changes and evolves. At the time you get married, you think you really love that person a lot. More than you ever thought possible. But somehow, with each passing day, that love has grown. I love and appreciate Tom wayyyy more now than I ever did when I was 23. It’s like I didn’t even know what love even was at that point. Also, I think people always talk about how important good communication is… but it bears SO much repeating. Healthy, honest communication is key to so many areas of marriage. After 5 years, I so appreciate starting our marriage off with practicing good communication.
What was your very first memory of your spouse?
Tom: “Hey, want to come sit with us?”
Joy: He was dating a girl in the room next to mine, but my door was open and I was singing along with American Idol on TV, and he just plopped down to hear me sing.
How long had you been dating, when you were you pretty sure you were going to marry your spouse?
Tom: … about a month. Or less.
Joy: Yup. Didn’t take long to know.
What has been the hardest part about marriage?
Tom: Not sure that there is anything in particular that jumps out to me… Maybe it’s hard agreeing on figuring out what we’re going to eat this week…?
Joy: Honestly? In 5 years, I can’t say it’s been hard. There have been hard trials, hard days, moody days, grumpy days… but overwhelmingly, marriage hasn’t been “hard.” Had we not had an established friendship, maybe it would have been, but we were friends first, so we communicate honestly and lovingly.
What is your spouse’s most annoying habit?
Tom: Worry snowballing, e.g. getting herself so worked up by THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME of something. For example, Joy had a solid day and a half before we went to Europe worrying about her teeth falling out in France, and not speaking the language, and I couldn’t translate because I was eaten by a bear, and she had amnesia, and all of our luggage was lost, in a hurricane, in the middle of nowhere, and they only had sharpened rocks to replace her teeth with.
Joy: Eating before putting away cold food and forgetting about it entirely.
(Tom’s response is killing me - hahaha - my front six teeth are fake, if that was confusing to anyone. AND IT’S A REAL FEAR OKAY)
Name a time you were most proud of your spouse.
Tom: One time at Walmart, I was trying to toss a bag of cheese in our cart from like 15 feet away and kept missing. Joy grabbed the cheese, all tough, said she could do it and then ON HER FIRST TRY tossed the bag o cheese between her legs from across the aisle and landed it EXACTLY on the child seat between two other items. Best trick shot ever. She’d never be able to do it again if she tried. Also, this blog. Everyday.
Joy: ...for the record I HAVE tried the cheese shot again, and failed miserably every time. I’m super proud of my cheese moment. Okay but for Tom? His handiness. For our first two years of marriage, we lived in apartments and I never saw him do anything remotely handy. And if he did, it always ended up being a big fail (shelves falling off walls, etc..). But when we got our house, he blew me away! He gutted our downstairs and built our whole kitchen and wired everything and cut countertops perfectly. It was so impressive! And he also installed a tankless water heater. Like, who was this guy?!
Are we more opposite, or similar?
Tom: Similar.
Joy: Similar.
What is one thing we’re really opposite about?
Tom: I love pasta, she does not. This is the saddest part of our marriage.
Joy: I’m much less inclined to invite new technology into our home.
What is one thing we’re really similar about?
Tom: Furniture tastes. Take us into a store. Point at a chair, and we will both say the exact things wrong, right, or odd about it. Every time.
Joy: Trying new foods. Pregnancy has made this harder, but when I don’t have silly pregnancy restrictions, I think I’m most excited for this. Also, house stuff. We can agree on furniture to a T.
What’s my spirit animal?
Tom: A puppy. She is what she loves. Fussy at times, but always wants to be close.
Joy: I don’t think you’d be an animal. I think you’re more like a mixture of an old man, a child, and a nerdy dad. And I can’t wait to see your nerdy dad show up even more in this next season of life. Having said that, you might be an alpaca. Mostly because they seem like they’d wear old man sweaters and Waldo glasses, while running really dorky.
Which of us is more decisive?
Tom: Joy. She’ll say me, because I decide on where we’re going and what we’re doing, but in regards to the minutia, it’s her all day.
Joy: Me.. no wait. Tom. Wait. Hondo? No I think it’s Tom.
(Look! We can’t even decide on who decides better! Maybe neither of us is very good at deciding...)
What do we finish more of: each other’s sandwiches, sentences, or last nerves?
Tom: I’ll eat her sandwiches, we finish each other’s sentences.
Joy: Well, most meals sound like “Tom: Are you done with that?” as I simultaneously say, “I’m done with this.” So sandwiches and sentences at the same time. Nerves, eh.. thankfully it takes a lot for him to get on my nerves.
What is your favorite thing to see your spouse wearing?
Tom: Anything green. Her eyes change color all the time, but they go bright green when she wears that color. Also, giant t-shirts, also known as blogger uniform. She’s most sassy, most comfy, most herself in a xxxxxxxxxxxxl tshirt.
Joy: This is actually really hard. Because Tom in nasty, heavy labor clothes always makes me happy, and I like his usual work clothes or church clothes, but when he gets in comfy pants and snuggles me, that’s probably my favorite. Also when I notice his wedding ring, it still gives me butterflies.
What is your spouse’s favorite food?
Tom: Mexican, but really anything with cheese. Queso, cheesy garlic bread, pizza, cheese plates, cheese, cheese, cheese. We have like 5 pounds of it in the fridge. (this is not an exaggeration)
Joy: Asian. Pho, ramen… mostly the noodle based soup kinds.
What is something your spouse has completely changed their mind about since you’ve been together?
Tom: That I’m handy. She thought I was a total dolt when it came to DIY things for the first 2 years.
Joy: Mushrooms. And Coldplay? He didn’t dislike them, but now he never minds how much I listen to Coldplay.
What was your favorite part of our wedding day?
Tom: As soon as we hit the road to go to Chicago. Thank God for a morning wedding.
Joy: Dinner alone at our hotel the evening of our wedding day.
What is a sure-fire way to get on your spouse’s nerves?
Tom: Leave the toilet paper roll facing inward… or is it outward…? I can never remember.
Joy: OVER, TOM, OVER!!!
Just ONE? We are both the king and queen of pet peeves. The easiest ways to get on Tom’s nerves would be using comic sans, singing a song from Annie, or saying EXpresso (this, only if someone says it repeatedly in a single conversation. It builds).
What is your favorite meal that your spouse cooks?
Tom: Chicken pot pie, or anything baked. The woman can bake.
Joy: Biscuits and gravy. But he also makes a mean ramen.
What’s your spouse’s favorite joke to tell?
Tom: She’s not much of a recurring joke teller. All original content.
Joy: “Who said that?” You have to be there to understand...
What’s your favorite thing to do together?
Tom: Exploring an area together, just the two of us. San Antonio, Iceland, New York, Savannah, Asheville, Florence, Nashville… the locations are great, but exploring them is the best.
Joy: Spending a day exploring new areas and finding new restaurants.
What is your spouse’s signature dance move?
Tom: It was something different in college, but now she does a super dorky flailing arms move that really should be shared with the world.
Joy: Really wide open eyes, serious face, flailing arms, and moon-walky legs. He never breaks eye contact, and he only does this move if I’m there to use as a focus. It’s terrifying, but also hilarious. Again, alpaca.
What personality trait made you fall in love with your spouse that they still exemplify today?
Tom: Sarcasm and how opinionated she was.
Joy: Highly opinionated sassy sarcasm.
Who is the spender?
Tom: It’s me. I’m good at finding deals, okay?
Joy: ...well it’s not me.
What’s something you love about your spouse, that they don’t always love about themselves?
Tom: The way she looks in the morning.
Joy: He can be super assertive, and I think sometimes he’s worried he comes across like a jerk. But I like that about him because it’s a trait a lot of people constantly fight against or don’t use. However, because he’s aware of it, he does a good job remaining kind and I admire that about him.
In the last 5 years, what has been your favorite part of being together?
Tom: All of it. Exploring, traveling, joking, people watching, tasting, crying, being together, sitting and doing nothing, being exhausted from doing too much, living in new cities, talking to new people, coming home to see her after work, waking up and seeing her in the morning, getting Hondo, renovating a home, getting on each other’s nerves, finding the things that only each other would like, knowing the things that the other would hate. All of it.
Joy: Seeing Tom develop in his career while still managing to prioritize being together and go on adventures. I get super restless at sudden intervals, and he’ll gladly get us out of the house, even if he’s kind of spent from being at the office. I just love being with him more than anyone else. He’s my best friend, and when we have to be apart for even a few days, I get unashamedly bummed because I hate missing moments with him. Clingy. Not sorry about it. So, basically, just being together.
There you have it! Cheers to FIVE YEARS! Here are a few photos from this weekend's anniversary adventures:
DSLR Tips & Basics
When you look at all the mumbo-jumbo next to the buttons, it can feel a little daunting to mess with - like you'll break something and not be...
I was talking to a friend recently who admitted that although she owns a nice little DSLR, she doesn't fully understand how to use the features. I get it! When you look at all the mumbo-jumbo next to the buttons, it can feel a little daunting to mess with - like you'll break something and not be able to get it back to the familiar "auto" settings.
However, I'm married to a guy that constantly reminds me to challenge myself. To learn something new, and maybe in the process, I'll become more proficient. Sometimes I fight this (because I like to play it safe), so his encouragement to take little risks has been such an awesome thing for me.
When we got our first DSLR (a Canon Rebel T6), we learned together all the basics and what they do. Let me break them down for you in this post so it'll be easy to navigate on your own, and maybe you can brave up and start using manual mode! We did upgrade to a Canon 70D, but these basics remain the same. Now keep in mind, I'm no professional, but I figured I'd share a few tips to help you move away from auto settings. So here.we.goooo!
ISO
This is what brightens or darkens your photos. A higher ISO, means a brighter photo. Essentially, each level up on ISO will double your brightness (ie. 200 ISO is twice as bright as 100 ISO). However, the higher the ISO, the grainer your photo will become, so I would suggest keeping that ISO as low as possible for clarity and quality, and try to brighten your photos through other means like aperture or shutter speed.
ISO is an important piece to consider when shooting, and keeping your ISO at the base level in low-light conditions can be challenging because it also means lower aperture or shutter speed which can cause photos to come out extremely blurry. You can remedy this by perhaps using a steady tripod, but even still, your focal point will also need to remain very still. Mess with your ISO and see what happens! Find the ISO ranges you're comfortable in and go from there. Though, again, keeping it low, will keep it from getting grainy.
The photos below look relatively similar, but if you look closer at the first one, you'll notice it's got more grain to it. It may not seem like an issue now, but when you go to edit this photo, it'll be more noticeable.
Shutter speed
That's the thing that looks like 1/200, 1/40, 1/blah blah ... it's the amount of time the shutter is open. A faster shutter speed will let in less light, but allow you to catch an action shot (for example), and a slower shutter speed will let in more light and allow you to blur some motion (like running water or light snow). If you go below 1/50-ish, your photos will likely come out blurry simply because it'll be hard to keep your hand steady at that shutter speed. As a rule of thumb, use a tripod for anything below 1/50 to keep it clear. Pay attention to the exposure control bar at the bottom of your viewing screen that looks sorta like -3...-2...1...^...1...2...3 and try to keep your mark nearest to the center for a well adjusted photo.
Below you can see obvious differences when changing the shutter speed. Because the right photo was a faster speed, it let in less light, which is why it's darker. However, had I been holding the camera when taking the first photo, it would have undoubtedly been blurry.
Aperture
You know that weird number that looks like f 1.8, f 2.8, f 3.5, etc...? That's your aperture (aka f-stop). It controls the size of the opening in the lens when the photo is taken. It's also the thing that gives you that nice focal point with the blurred-out background. The smaller the f-stop, the larger the opening. Landscapes will likely shoot better with a high aperture, whereas a portrait would shoot better at a low aperture. Though, it totally depends on the look you're going for!
The first of these two photos has a low f-stop causing the focal point (the plant) to come in clear, while blurring out the background. The second photo still has that affect, but since it's using a higher f-stop, it's not quite as blurred. I also had to adjust the shutter speeds for these photos to bring the lighting to a more even point because the size of the lens opening (aperture) was being messed with.
Those are the three biggies! Play with them, don't be afraid of manual, and enjoy yourself. Learning how to use these features is really not that daunting, and it ends up being really fun. Just keep in mind that they all go hand in hand. If you mess with one, you'll at least have to mess with another one. It definitely takes some patience, and it means you may have to take a lot of shots to get something just right, but it'll help you when the time comes to edit (which, if you're curious, I typically use Lightroom, Snapseed, and VSCO).
Other tips:
- Start learning to choose your focal point instead of letting your camera choose it. This gives you so much more control over framing an image.
- Try out different lenses for different uses. For example, a 50mm with f1.8 aperture is great for portraits. Personally, my most used lens is a 24mm because it's very functional in lots of different scenarios.
- Buy yourself a 64GB SD card - especially if you shoot in RAW.
- On that note... shoot in RAW! It gives you so much more freedom when editing. Do a little research on that if you're curious. (Here's a helpful article about that)
My favorite camera products:
I hope this short-sweet guide helps you learn a little bit about your camera, but no matter what, just have fun! You're not going to break it by messing with a few buttons, so brave-up and give it a try :)
Oh and here's a nice little cheat sheet for beginners that comes in handy for us even after a couple years of playing with our camera:
snagged via SLR Lounge
Body Image & Pregnancy
On a walk the other night, I was wearing one of Tom's sweaters and asked if I looked pregnant (because even with my belly it sort of swallowed...
Some clothing items in this post are courtesy of Pinkblush
On a walk the other night, I was wearing one of Tom's sweaters and asked if I looked pregnant (because even with my belly it sort of swallowed me up), and before he could answer, I started laughing and said,
"I wonder when I'll quit wondering if I look pregnant and accept that I do... all of the time" and we both just laughed.
You see, before getting pregnant, or even trying (not knowing we would struggle to conceive), the words of so many women echoed in my mind.
Words of sadness and grief for the loss of their pre-pregnant bodies. How they cursed the stretch marks that appeared. How unattractive they felt. How their (in my opinion) adorable bumps just made them feel like a beached whale. How they felt their husbands wouldn't desire them. And on and on.
I would often listen and sympathize, trying to understand, yet never truly grasping their feelings - as one often can't when they've not "been there" themselves. I'm sure for so many women, it's a process of letting go of the body you've come to know and love and even be able to anticipate its changes. Pregnancy sure throws it all for a loop, and it can come as a shock to see your body change by no doing of your own.
However, for the not-yet-mommas who are worried about this:
Pregnancy is beautiful.
It's a privilege.
It shows the incredible capability your body has.
It adds to your beauty - it does NOT take away.
I must admit, pregnancy has not caused me to mourn my body - not for a second. Mourning your pre-pregnant body isn't something we will all face, because we all come from different places and perspectives and there is no shame on either end. We all get to feel how we feel.
But you see, I have had stretch marks since puberty. During a time when I believe insecurities are at their height. Those marks are still there, but they've faded. I've bared them at the beach, in front of boys I liked, and friends who didn't have them. I've simply become accustomed to them, and think nothing of their presence anymore. To be honest, when pregnant friends would speak of the disgust they felt over their stretch marks, it used to hurt me. I've had them since I was 15... does everyone else really find them so revolting?!
"People get them ALL the time!" I'd think. "Who cares! Of course you're getting them - you're growing a human being! I wonder what you think of mine..." and a feeling of judgement would sweep over me. As if I wasn't pristine and perfect and my marks should be something to cover and be ashamed of.
I've since come to terms with their perspective versus mine, and recognized that their sadness is just as valid as my content on the subject.
Then entered yet another perspective.
Infertility.
After two years of trying to conceive, seeing this body of mine change, and stretch, and grow, has been nothing short of a privilege. I cannot find it in me to curse the heartburn or hemorrhoids or crowded lungs or bulging belly. When my old clothes stopped fitting, I met it with relief and joy. For so long I hoped and prayed to be able to carry this life, and finally my body allowed me to do so. Each change and symptom is a clear reminder that my body is doing exactly what it should to accommodate this baby. There is no mourning from me - only joy.
I'm writing this simply to share my own, personal identity with pregnancy and my body image. It may be different from yours, and that's okay.
Today, I'm simply celebrating this growth, and the love and admiration I have for this body. I'm celebrating the spider veins, and hips, and moments when my husband comes up behind me to hold my belly, kiss me on the neck, and say, "You are more beautiful than ever. I've waited so long to see you pregnant and I'm so happy to see you grow. I can't wait for you to get bigger!" Goodness! Swoon! To hear him say that is music to my ears. I've never felt so beautiful in my life, and he just reinforces my thoughts.
I know it can be hard for some women - and I validate that too.
But for me?
I'm happy.
Plus, not having to suck it in for nine whole months is pretty awesome - haha - so I'm reveling in every part of this season. Okay, even if sometimes I do sound like I ran a marathon after going up a flight of stairs #beachedwhale #owningit
AND a huge thank you to Pinkblush for making pregnancy even more enjoyable and helping all sorts of women feel beautiful in their pregnant skin. Clothes that flatter those new curves make a world of difference, and I love that I have a platform to share such a great brand with you all ♡ Here is that adorable floral dress I'm rocking in these photos (just a different color).
And keep scrolling for a Hondo photobomb!
