Choosing A Camera
So you're looking for a new camera, huh?
Well, don't ask me about specs or my "professional opinion." I'm just your little amateur hobby photographer friend.
That being said, my husband and I (okay, mostly my husband) do a lot of research before we make a significant or semi-significant purchase. I've talked about our intentional shopping habits before (read here) and this camera was no exception. It caused some healthy back-and-forth between two people trying to come to one conclusion together.
This hunt started for us (and maybe you too) when we just felt like our phone photos weren't "cutting it" anymore. Phones are easy. They're convenient to carry, fast to capture, and are improving with each new update to the technology. But for my work here on the blog and elsewhere, I was growing increasingly desperate for distinctive photos and more capabilities.
Soon into our hunt, we found ourselves on the teeter totter between Mirrorless vs. DSLR. Tom was very pro-mirrorless because it's a growing technology, and I was pro-DSLR because I like the look and feel of "old school" cameras. I think making that decision was half the battle. However, once you can at least decide that, you can narrow yourself down more easily. Instead of giving you all the pros and cons of different cameras and types, I'm going to give you a list (similar to my prepping for a puppy list - haha) to help you ask yourself the right questions. I'll include some of our answers so you can see why we ended up with the Canon T6, but mostly to give you food for thought. It's honestly such a personal preference, so my pros could be cons to you, or vise versa. Below the questions I'll also share with you the lenses we purchased, and a really helpful blog post that SHOWS you the differences between three of the most commonly used lenses.
Questions to ask yourself:
(Our own answers are bolded as reference)
- What will this camera primarily be used for? Personal and work
- Who will primarily be using it, and will they realistically carry it regardless of size? Joy - yes
- Are you looking for something more portable, or something larger but with good ergonomic handling? Good handling - already had a smaller version and it didn't make portability any easier
- Is battery life a deal breaker? No - we're good about charging
- Are you planning on buying different lenses? Some brands/types of cameras have more and cheaper lens offerings than others. Yes - would like plenty of lens options in various prices
- Is a viewfinder important to you? Yes. No more looking at a screen to take shots!
- How much would you like to spend on a camera body? No more than $400
- Are you willing to learn the capabilities of a better camera? Yep
These are all pretty basic questions, but I thought maybe they'd get your wheels spinning in the right direction. Tom was leaning towards mirrorless, but we decided that even though the body is more compact, it actually made handling sort of awkward. Plus, once you put a larger lens on a mirrorless, it's still going to be bulky no matter how you cut it.
I personally appreciate an actual mirror image view. We differed here because Tom liked the digital viewfinders. I found them laggy and choppy. When push came to shove, we realized I'd be using it more often and we knew we could trust the ol' DSLRs. This was just the second camera we've owned and decided it would be a good stepping stone. We can go a different route in the future, but for starters, the T6 would treat us well.
Here's a (slightly odd) video that explains some of the differences between mirrorless and DSLRs. Granted, mirrorless cameras really are catching up to DSLRs and are increasingly more competitive across all areas, so give them a look!
What ended up breaking the deal for us was... well... the deals. We were able to get a DSLR body and two lenses for nearly the same price as a mirrorless camera and kit lens. We went for a 50mm lens and a 35mm lens. I wanted to avoid the kit lens because after doing plenty of research, I knew it would never give me the depth of field I was looking for in a new camera. We only used a kit lens with our previous camera, and it ended up just gathering dust. We didn't want to make the same mistake, so we ordered some super cheap lenses to try. If they break after a few months, I won't even be mad - they're too cheap to get upset over! I'll tell you, though... so far, so good.
Check out this great post to actually see how different lenses shoot the same objects. It helped me a lot in trying to decide what would be most fitting for us.
However... the only thing I would change, going back, would be to get a 24mm over the 35mm, only because the 50 and 35 aren't all that different in terms of the range they capture. Other than that, we've loved our new camera and lenses. I am in no way being paid to say any of this, but we put so much time into this, I thought I'd share our thoughts and end results with you lovely readers! We've used it significantly more than our phones and have even joked that we may need to buy TWO cameras because we're starting to fight over it - haha!!
P.S Though I'm not being paid for anything in this post and these opinions are my own (as always!) any Amazon links you find on my blog are affiliate. By purchasing through my links - whether the actual item purchased, or something else in the same session - I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. It helps keep this blog a-runnin' and supports someone's dream. Thank you to those of you that shop my affiliates! It never goes unnoticed and is so appreciated :)
Prepping For A Puppy
If you haven't heard by now, Tom and I are getting our first puppy. We have been waiting to get this specific puppy/breed (Bernese Mountain Dog) for over three years now, and it's been occupying my mind almost constantly since we signed the contract to get this little guy (and yes, it's a boy). We are so overjoyed!
In all honesty, it took us this long because...
1) we thought our life would look a little different than it does - but God's plan is not ours
2) I needed to mentally prepare for the shedding of this breed
3) we needed to be sure we could handle the financial and care responsibilities
Since we have no control over number one, we asked ourselves a few questions and worked out a few logistics in our minds before going through with getting this giant breed dog. Once we made the decision that we were ready, we needed to take some action on prepping for this little bundle so we'd be well-prepared for his arrival. To be honest, everything aligned so fast, and so perfectly, that our three year wait suddenly diminished practically overnight. So our prepping went into hyper-drive! Today, I'm sharing some of the questions you may want to ask yourself before getting a puppy as well as some products we've purchased for his arrival that may be helpful for you too.
Questions to consider:
- Does your home suit a large or hyper dog?
- Does your lifestyle suit the breed you're looking at? (ex: if you're active, are you looking for a running partner like a lab? Or a lazy dog like a berner?)
- Will you be able to handle excessive shedding?
- Do you own a lot of high quality/expensive items you'd be furious over being chewed or ruined by a dog?
- Does the breed you're looking at do well alone for hours, or will it become unhappy being alone for 8+ hour work days? This can sometimes lead to destructive behavior.
- Is this breed good with children or other pets?
- What kinds of health issues might this breed run into?
- Will boarding this breed be reasonably priced?
- Can you handle the basic needs of food, time for play, time for potty breaks, grooming, etc...?
- Do you understand the financial investment? Some breeds cost upwards of $2500 just for a puppy.
- Are you willing to become more limited in terms of travel?
- Can you afford to replace anything it might destroy or perhaps a new vacuum?
- Are you sure you're not allergic?
- Will it be an inside dog or outside? Will it spend the day barking at the neighbor's dog and driving other neighbors insane?
- You want a puppy, but what about an adult dog? (It will grow!)
- Are you settled, will you move, or bring children into the world soon?
- Do you have the time/patience to train?
... just to name a few. It was these sorts of questions and more that had us thinking. It wasn't until the last several months that we finally answered positively to all these questions. Two years ago, our travels were too important to us, but now, we're more settled and not as likely to hop a plane to Fiji on a whim. Now, we genuinely want to add this little pup to our midst and give up a few niceties. However, I am a bit of a tough critic on these sorts of topics. Perhaps not everyone needs to mull over so many scenarios or questions, but I'm a planner and I like to be prepared, so these were all important for me to feel confident about before diving into puppy ownership.
Now that you've decided on your breed, and you're ready to handle shedding and dirty paws on your floors, where do you go next?
Well, we sought out reputable breeders, but maybe you're into rescued pups. Either way, that's the next "prep-step." Find your dog and confirm a date when he/she is coming home.
Once that's underway, I suppose it's up to you to decide how much or how little to prepare for your new pal. Like I said, I don't like to be caught in a lurch, so we've already ordered and received most of our puppy necessities (and he doesn't come home for nearly three weeks). Here's the list of items we purchased... all from Amazon. These are affiliate links, FYI, but of course, they'll cost you nothing extra should you decide to purchase through them.
We also purchased a collar and ID tag elsewhere, and besides perhaps a blanket, food, and shampoo, we're pretty well set. I'll be sure to circle back after a few months with our pup and let you know if any of these have been problematic or useless, or if we discovered some better products along the way.
The one that I must admit has been nearly impossible to find, is a decent dog bed for a large breed like a Bernese. Everywhere I've looked they've seemed too flat to support such a big dog, or the cover isn't washable (idiotic). We'll stay on the hunt, but it's been a no-go thus far.
I hope this little informative post can help you along in bringing home your new four-legged family member. Or maybe it's caused you to think twice about whether or not you're ready for all a pup could entail. I urge you to research breeds and dog care as much as possible in your own time before deciding to make the leap. I know this time of year can be especially tempting to gift a puppy to a loved one, but please re-think that idea if you're not ready for a possible 15 year responsibility.
If you found this post helpful or you think it would be helpful for a friend, give it a share!
And now, what you're probably here for... puppy pictures! These are the puppies from the actual litter we're getting our little guy from. They were five weeks old, and the most adorable balls of happiness. Enjoy!
Things You Probably Don't Know About Me
New here? No?
Regardless, I thought it might be time to let you in on some of my life secrets. Okay, well, not exactly secrets, but a few things I bet you don't know about me. Unless you really know me. So, did you know....
- In 2011 I interned with "the world's largest music festival" (Summerfest in Milwaukee). It was one of my favorite jobs because of the adrenaline it required. Working from 9am-2am, a forty-five minute drive, for eleven days was insane and amazing.
Once, at a pre-festival concert, Tim McGraw walked right past me - like two feet in front of me - and he smelled amazing. - I'm the youngest of seven children - I feel like I've mentioned this before. But have I told you all our names start with "J" ?
- For a long time I wanted to be a photojournalist in war zones.
- My first year in college, I majored in graphic design. I met my now-husband in my art classes! I changed majors the following year to PR, Business Comm, and Marketing.
- I sang several solos growing up, and participated in honor choirs. My voice was one of the first things Tom liked about me, actually. Freshman year as friends, I was casually singing in my dorm room with the door open and he walked in and hung out to hear more. That sounds a lot creepier than it was.
- My biggest pet peeve: the feeling of cotton (like from a t-shirt) between my teeth, or seeing someone else chew or hold a piece of clothing in their mouth. It makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it - blah! That dry, squeaky, cotton feeling on one's teeth just drives me crazy.
- I have worked at at least three places for only a single day before quitting. Bed, Bath, and Beyond was one of them. I had to climb a ten-foot ladder and swing my leg over the top. It was terrifying.
- Coldplay is my all time favorite band and I daydream about meeting them. Seeing them in concert over the summer was magical.
- I've had eighteen jobs since I started working at fifteen years old. And I only disliked five of them!
- I don't care for meals that are all one texture, which is why I don't care for pasta - it's too soft! It's a flaw in my being, I know. Though, I am not picky in any other way with food.
- My top, front six teeth are all fake (though, I tell everyone this fact, so you probably know).
- I actually loved working retail (Gap, LOFT, and grocery work) because of the fast pace and upbeat environment. It's taught me to be more patient with retail workers as a customer.
- I'm a coffee snob. And I'm not sorry about it.
- One of the strangest, most common comments I receive, is on the softness of my hands. Like the skin on my hands is really smooth or something. I've been getting this comment since middle school and I can never decide how I feel about it..?
- I love being outside and camping, but I hate bugs and humidity. Solve that riddle for me, would ya?
Anything here come as a surprise? I may do another one of these down the road, but I thought these were some good basics to start with for you to get to know me. Just for fun :) What else would you want to know?
The Cords of Marriage
Think of a rope. A large rope. One made out of three smaller ropes twisted together. Then look closer at those smaller, twisted ropes. They are made of strands of string. Such a rope is strong... unbreakable, even.
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
This verse is often used in Christian marriage ceremonies. It's incredibly fitting, isn't it?
I think of it this way. Of the three cords of a rope, one is Christ, one is the husband, and one is the wife. Christ is ever present, unchanging. That's a cord that will never break. The husband and wife? Well, their cords might start to fray. All those strings that make up their individual selves and the pieces of their marriage might get cut. Yet with Christ as the stronghold, there is hope and life. The strands may fray, but that threefold cord will remain strong and united.
I also like to look at those strings that make up one cord as the small things. It's remembering to pursue your marriage, even after a bunch of years. It's making coffee every day for your spouse, doing the dishes, not whining or rolling your eyes when they forget to do something for the millionth time. It's folding the laundry, saying thank you, kissing goodnight and good morning, planning a date night, remembering to make that appointment for them, picking up their shoes, cleaning the house, telling them they're amazing/handsome/beautiful, choosing to give them your time and attention, surprising them with a little gift, and all those little minuscule moments in between. Wound up in each cord are a bazillion tiny things.
Sometimes we're better at these things than other times - no one is perfect. Some seasons will be able to offer more attention to our marriage than others. Sometimes, one spouse will be less frayed than the other, and sometimes, they might BOTH be pretty frayed. But by working on those strands, binding them back together, trusting in Christ as the cord that binds, and doing our best to keep our rope wound tight, marriage is utterly rewarding, beautiful, and strong.
I feel my cord start to fray when I've got to much on my plate and my stress levels become unmanageable. I feel those tiny strands start to snap. It shows when I forget to give my husband a kiss when he arrives home. When the laundry doesn't get done. When we're left without groceries because I didn't have time to make a list. But when I start to fray, Tom swoops in... his strands stronger than mine for the time being. He wraps me in a hug when he walks in the door. He gets a load of laundry going. He picks up some food on his way home. And when he is frayed, I do the same for him. I make him a favorite meal and tell him to play video games for a while. I get us out of the house to grab a drink. I'll take the trash out for him.
And when we're both frayed, God's Word holds us up. He holds up regardless of who is frayed and who isn't, but it's in those times especially, that His unchanging strength and promises bind our frayed beings and make us whole... make us a united rope of three cords.
Marriage is hard. We all say it, but no one really expands because it's not hard all the time (maybe in some seasons). It's not even hard in big ways a lot of the time. It's hard in little moments, little moods, little quips, and passive aggressive tones. It's work, but it's the most beautiful work I've ever committed to. I've said it so many times, but marriage is a privilege. It is worth cherishing, worth being psyched about, worth speaking highly of, and worth all the effort to keep from fraying beyond repair. How will you keep the cords of your marriage strong and unbreakable?
Be sure and visit my marriage category for more like this!
Chicken Pot Pie
Like I told you in my last food post, I'm kind of a recipe hoarder. I think recipes are meant to be shared, but when it comes down to it, I suddenly feel a pang of selfishness overcome me. Also, my mom guilts me for sharing "family recipes" when really, I think she just pulled them from other cookbooks and forgot which ones, so she decided to call them her own.
That's all beside the point, because today I am sharing with you my very favorite recipe when you need something homestyle and cozy to the core. Chicken pot pie from scratch.
With a perfect, flaky crust, rich cream sauce, and tender chicken and veggies, it'll be the best home cooked meal you'll have this winter. Let me just dive right in...
First, start with the crust. A good crust recipe will serve you well for years and years. The one I use is good for sweet pies, savory pies, mini pies stuffed with whatever you want, etc... I highly recommend it. via Simply Recipes
Crust Ingredients
2 1/2 C flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 sticks unsalted butter - VERY cold and cubed
6-8 T ice cold water
Directions
Mix the dry ingredients together in a stand mixer or food processor. Slowly add the cold butter (sometimes I cube my butter and then toss it in the freezer for 10 minutes or so) cubes and watch them become pea-sized and give the mixture a rough, uneven texture. Do not over-mix. You want those chunks of butter as they'll add nice flaky layers when baked. Then, add the ice water, tablespoon at a time just until incorporated. The dough should look dry and crumbly, but hold together if grabbed into a fist.
Dump mixture onto a clean surface and knead gently by hand until it holds its shape - do not knead too much! Separate the dough into two equal sized mounds and shape them into discs. Wrap each in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 48 hours.
Remove 10-15 minutes before you'll be using it to let it soften enough to make rolling easier.
Once you're ready to get your pot pie going, roll one of your discs into a large rectangular shape so it covers at least the bottom of a 9x13 pan, but try to get it large enough to cover the sides of a 9x13 if you can. Preheat your oven to 325. Line the 9x13 with the crust, pressing it down, along the edges, and into the corners of the pan. Pop the crust-lined pan into the oven for about 15 minutes - just until it's no longer "raw." While it's baking, roll your other disc out into a 9x13 rectangle. This piece will cover the pot pie. Set aside. Bump your oven up to 375 once you remove your pre-baked crust. (The reason you pre-bake the bottom crust is so it doesn't stay raw once you put the wet filling in)
Sauce Ingredients
1/4 C butter
1/4 C flour
2 C chicken broth
1/2 C whipping cream
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 C grated parmesan
Sauce directions
In a medium pot, melt butter. Blend in flour, then slowly incorporate chicken broth, slowly stirring until thick. Add whipping cream and salt and pepper to taste. Should be creamy and not too runny in texture. Add parmesan and cook a couple minutes longer, stirring. Set aside.
Pot Pie Ingredients
3 C cooked chicken (about 2 breasts)
1 12-14oz package of frozen veggies (in a steamer bag if you'd like to save time)
1 10-12 oz bag of frozen broccoli florets (in a steamer bag if you'd like to save time)
1-2 russet potatoes, peeled and diced
Pot Pie Directions
Have your chicken ready to go. When I cook mine a day or two before, I only season it with salt and pepper and maybe a hint of garlic powder. Once it's been cooked, just dice it and set it aside.
Steam all your veggies, except your potato(es) which just need to be peeled and diced. They can be thrown in to the pot pie raw.
In the pot with your sauce, add the chicken, veggies, and potato(es). Mix until well combined. Pour the mixture into your pre-baked crust and spread evenly. Cover the 9x13 with top crust and trim the edges. Bake at 375 until the the crust is golden, about 30 minutes (give or take). Enjoy!
Entryway
Wow - it's been a while since I had a new project reveal for you guys! This is just a little one, but it's made a world of difference.
We have a small entryway. Our living room and foyer sort of morph together and things get even more crowded with a garage entry and front door entry in only slightly different spots. In the following pictures, you'll see the garage entry (complete with a tiny dog door - which our new puppy will never fit through) to the left of the shelf and storage we just added. We still need to update the paint on the doors - maybe even a light pop of color? - and add a lamp, but so far we are loving the minimalist look and functionality.
The top two cubbies give each of us a place to put floater items. If I see Tom's keys or wallet or glasses floating around, they go into his compartment. It's sort of like our own little "internal mail" system - haha! Mine stores my purse and sunglasses and whatever else I may need to grab on my way out the door. The bottom two compartments hold a few pairs of shoes. Just the pairs we can slide on to check the mail or run to the store in. Since our actual coat and shoe closet is in our upstairs landing, a storage spot like this was pretty needed for our little entryway.
Of course, I'mma give you the breakdown:
Trones: $80
Mirror: $16 (thrifted and painted)
Vases: $15 total (Home Goods, Target)
Books: $15 Goodwill
Candle: Gift (Pottery Barn)
Shelf: leftover from previous projects
TOTAL: $136
It's been the perfect place to check my makeup before heading out, and dumping the mail until I have a chance to look it over. Our kitchen counter had become the gathering place for all those random items before this, so I love the storage and minimal aesthetic. These are a great example of something I mentioned in my last post on being a clean freak - functionality. Though this looks clean, that top right cubby is full of old receipts and some plastic shopping bags (Tom's cubby, of course) but unless I told you, you'd just assume this area is spotless, huh?
So, what do you think? Would this sort of thing help in your home?
The Secrets Of Your Clean-Freak Friend
Have I mentioned this? I feel like I must have.
If not, I suppose it's time you know.
I am an anal-retentive clean freak.
Yes. I’m that friend. I’m the one whose home you step into and think, “obviously THIS chick doesn’t have kids” or “holy cow, there’s not even a crumb on the floor. How is that possible?” Now obviously, my cleanliness is far more extreme than most people's, so some of these secrets might be more of a guideline, but I believe they’ll give anyone a place to start or ideas of how they can incorporate a slightly cleaner facade (yes - cleanliness is totally a facade!).
And please, leave the “wait until you have kids” comments at the door. I know. But for now, let me revel, people. Also, I plan on keeping our children in bubbles (haha jokes, jokes).
So here,
we,
go.
1. Split it up
This is my number one secret to success. I do not “deep clean” but maybe twice a year. Have some tasks you do daily to keep up with clutter, weekly tasks that keep up with grime, and monthly - or quarterly - tasks that keep unnoticeable things from becoming noticeable.
Using my house as an example...
Daily: make bed (even if this just means straightening out the comforter and pillows a little), wipe off kitchen counters/sink area and wash/load all dishes at the end of the day, shove throw blankets in basket, put mail in designated spot, keep shower curtains closed and mat hung up, towels hung, chairs pushed in, clothes in hamper/hung up/put away.
Weekly: basic laundry, sweep/vacuum floors in most lived-in areas, quickly clean/disinfect surfaces in bathroom (vanity, mirror, toilet), wash all sheets and towels (don’t forget the kitchen hand towels!), clean stove top surface/microwave, thorough cleaning of dining room table and chairs, dust side tables/coffee tables/desks.
Monthly/quarterly: clean cabinet fronts/appliances, dust ceiling fans/light fixtures/tops of doorways/hanging art/decor/mantles/window frames, wet mop all hard floors/vacuum all carpets, wash comforters/duvets/throws, deep clean bathrooms, disinfect door handles/door fronts, once-over mirrors, vacuum curtains (if necessary), windows, etc…
All of these tasks take me around 10 minutes each. I almost never do several consecutively, and mostly just spot clean. The difference, is when I see grime beginning to build in the bathroom (for example) instead of letting it get worse, I take five minutes to wipe it up. Over time, this saves me HOURS.
2. Create functionality
Does your closet lend itself to easy, organized storage? Do you prefer to hang your clothes, but you’ve got a ton of dressers? Maybe you could reconfigure your closet to make hanging your clothes easier, and ditch the dressers all-together. Is there an area that has become everyone’s dumping ground for their bags, keys, receipts? Maybe you could incorporate closed storage nearby where you can stow those items away.
Walking into my house, you’d think everything has a place - which is mostly true - but behind door number one, you’ll probably find a mess of old mail. But I’ve tricked you into thinking it’s pristine by incorporating lots of functional storage. As a bonus, when my husband wonders where his keys are, 9 times out of 10 he'll find them in one particular cubby that I dump all of his stray items in.
It’s also wise to figure out if certain “pretty storage” is actually realistic for your home. Maybe you love the look of those square wicker baskets that fit those square shelving units perfectly… until little Jimmy sits on the basket one day and crushes it or spills his sticky apple juice into all the crevices and Spot the dog chews it to shreds. Maybe some cheaper, easy-to-clean plastic would work better for this stage of life?
3. Own less
Not everyone will be a fan of this one, and of course we all own things that make our individual lives easier (meaning, we all have different needs), but my perspective is simple: the less you own, the less you have to clean. The few items we do own, we take great care to make them last. No matter how cheap.
I was raised in a frugal home, and if we were flippant with a toy and it broke, it wouldn’t be replaced. Maybe for a birthday or Christmas, but it was our responsibility early on to take great care of the blessings we received.
As married adults, we buy things very intentionally. The things we own serve a purpose, have a sentimental meaning, or minimally add to the aesthetic of our home. This is the minimalist side of me speaking, but it certainly makes cleaning a lot more cut-and-dry without sacrificing tangible desires. We’ve simply lessened our quantity of needs/wants.
4. Let yourself get messy, but don’t let it ferment
If you were to come over on a Friday night around 9pm you’d see approximately four coffee mugs, two or three pots and pans soaking in the sink, a dirty napkin sitting on a cold plate of uneaten food from dinner, a cutting board with bits of veggies and a dirty knife, and a few pairs of shoes, items of clothing, and tech devices strewn around our living and dining room.
But.
Come at 11pm, and you’ll see a tidy, seemingly pristine home. Why? Because we don’t let anything fester. We make a mess, and then tidy up once our movie has ended or bedtime is close. Come Sunday evening, it’ll probably be back to messy, but by mid-morning on Monday it’s back to it’s shining glory and a load of laundry is going.
5. Purge!
Kind of along with owning less, but, still different. You may own less right now, but as time goes on we naturally accumulate a little more. Often times to replace something, or to make an area of life easier. The problem arises when we don’t regularly rid ourselves of the items that were replaced, have gone out of style, or serve no purpose/sentimental value. I know for a fact we have a drawer full of old phone charging cords that we could easily sort out and get rid of (as an example). Those cords are gathering dust and taking up a storage area that could be better served by something we own that genuinely needs a “place.” How many shirts do you legitimately wear? If your stuff is bursting at the seams and yet you keep buying more, it’s time to purge. And don’t be afraid of empty storage. Having an empty cabinet for a while can offer you a place to better organize what you already have. Options, baby!
Of course, everyone's definition or standard of cleanliness ebbs and flows at various stages of our lives, and your home is your home. It's where you gather, where you make memories, and where you feel safe. These are the most important things.
In fact, stay tuned for another post later this month on letting go of this anal-retentive nature as we welcome a very hairy puppy into our midst come January. It'll stretch me and force me to accept a new standard, but the joy this pup will bring will be priceless to me. But you better believe I'll learn some good cleaning tips to share with you when you have a dog!
Why We Don't Do Gifts
Christmas gifts. Easter baskets. Valentines. Birthday presents. Anniversary gifts.
These are the gifting occasions that come to mind for most people - give or take a few. I myself have incredibly fond memories of family birthdays and Christmas time. We had sweet traditions and the shrieks and squeals of delight caused by gift excitement was priceless. Gifts have a way of bringing such joy. Givers often feel an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness from the reactions of those they're giving to. It's a unique, thoughtful, and loving act. The novel surprise of the receiver and the opportunity for the giver to give, go hand-in-hand as one of life's most innocent joys.
However.
I am, by nature, not a "things" oriented person. Give me just about every other love language, but "gifts" doesn't even remotely make it into the running for me. Thankfully, my husband is not a "things" person either. Therefore the conclusion as to why we don't get each other gifts is simple:
My husband and I don't give each other gifts because they don't make us feel loved.
Below are a few observations we’ve noticed about gift-giving. At least when it comes to giving from spouse-to-spouse. Perhaps these are personal to us, but I wouldn't find it unusual if the general population of people noticed them too.
Kids + presents = joy in its purest form. This cannot be denied. The older you get, the less novel gifts become. Your reaction to opening them becomes rather routine and dulled. It's a natural progression.
When we need or want something we generally just.... buy it. Sure, we save for bigger items, and giftcards help us afford something we've been eyeing, but we take care of most needs and wants throughout the year.
It's easy to forget what someone gave you, but hard to forget a great memory that you’ve had because of them. When I think back to childhood (or even adult) Christmases I can only remember a small handful of gifts I received; but I easily remember who was home and the emotions of the day. You can't throw a memory away. Gifts, however, will eventually end up at Goodwill. I’m looking at you, Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer.
We're hard to buy gifts for. Is it just us? Maybe we’re too picky, but we’ve given each other some failed gifts, and the waste of money caused us to involve each other more when choosing things. Which brings me to my next point...
We discuss all our financial decisions and share a bank account. It's kind of hard to surprise your spouse when you can easily check credit card/bank account activity. And when you're dealing with higher priced items, it's part of the health of a marriage to discuss it, right?
We generally want/need less as time goes on. We have a roof over our heads, our bills are paid, we have regular dates, we travel occasionally, we each use some "mad-money," and we're clothed and fed. What tangible gifts could we really want? Maybe it's the minimalist side of me speaking, but God provides our daily wants and needs and anything beyond that, we view as excess (meaning: unnecessary).
Getting something new on our birthdays doesn't make us happier versus if we had received it any other day. One day, Tom surprised me with a new Mac. Just on some random day of the year. I really needed one, he saw that it had gone way down in price, came up with a good excuse to go to Best Buy, and bought me one while I was distracted in another department. Honestly, I think that was more exciting than had I received it on my birthday. We spend our birthdays enjoying an experience instead!
Over the last three years we have mostly forgone gifts between the two of us. Our birthdays have been spent doing something. Maybe we'll have a small gift to open on the day (though I don't think I could recall them), but what I can recall for certain is what we did, ate, or saw in celebration.
So, my husband and I don't do gifts because we don't show and feel love with them. We don't do gifts because we value each other's company and a shared memory more than an item. We don't do gifts because sometimes the need to buy a gift can lead to having something lying around that we don’t actually need. We don't do gifts because it's not "us."
We do life together, and that is such a gift every.single.day.
As a little disclaimer, for fear that this may sound pretentious or ungrateful, gifts are wonderful. Coming from other people, they are always appreciated, we are always grateful to receive them, and we try to enjoy shopping for other family/friends when the occasion permits. Again, this does not come naturally to us and causes more stress than joy sometimes, I must admit, but when we find the perfect thing for the right person or someone finds the perfect thing for us, it's such a joy. Helping someone get a big item they've been wanting for a long time is so rewarding, isn't it? There are always exceptions to a rule, and we have come across many. We've received plenty of items we wouldn't buy ourselves, but have improved our lives immensely - mostly coffee or kitchen related :) so please don't read this and think we're gift haters. "Things" are just something we think very little about - we're usually daydreaming about vacations or food. This post is about the relationship between gifts and our marriage personally, that maybe others can relate to as well!