Plant Themed Nursery Tour
We haven't done what I'd call "decorating" since we moved into our new place. Mostly it's been getting used to new storage spaces and...
We haven't done what I'd call "decorating" since we moved into our new place. Mostly it's been getting used to new storage spaces and settling in.
But the nursery? Well, those silly ol' nesting instincts kicked right in. There are so many cute nursery ideas online and even just within those few baby aisles of Target, but the more I looked at them, the more my mind wandered to my own ideas.
Enter: The plant theme
I naturally gravitate towards cool colors - greens and blues - so creating a neutral boy's nursery was honestly pretty easy for me. I settled on a plant theme so it would have a sense of life to it, outside of animals and whatnot.
I also have to admit... I hate how baby things always look so... well... BABY-ish! My mom keeps giving me a hard time about this, but I can't help it! A baby doesn't know the difference between a teddy bear theme and a plant theme, so why do I have to put baby animals all over?! Haha - this is by no means a dig at anyone else's preferences. It's just a style decision I made that certainly won't hurt the child's development, and won't make me feel cringey every time I go in there. I can honestly say, I lovvvvvve the look of this nursery and it feels super cozy and cohesive to the rest of our house.
Once I landed on the theme, I decided to watercolor the prints myself (because I had a picture of how I wanted them to look). I'm not super talented with drawing and painting, but I figured if they turned out crappy, I would move on to buying them. But I actually like the amateur look of them and they totally make the space!
If you're curious where things in this room are from, I'll list them below the photo tour. Oh, but the Bernese Mountain Dog is NOT for sale ;) Ugh. He's so photogenic.
Item links
From Amazon:
From IKEA and others:
Crib
Crib mattress
Fur rug
Dresser
Drawer organizers
Frames - Wal-Mart and spray painted gold
Mobile - various items from Hobby Lobby
Laundry basket - HomeGoods
Five Years Married
To commemorate five years, I thought I'd do this year's anniversary post a little differently. I sought out or made up some marriage-y questions...
Well, guys, it's been FIVE years! I seriously love every day we've spent together, and the last five years have been nothing short of fun. Sure, there have been some trials in there, but together and with Christ as the center, we've managed to consistently keep life and marriage pretty darn happy. I don't mean to come across braggy or humble braggy or whatever, but it's just the truth. It's our story, our experience, and our personal take. I'm pretty stinking thrilled that we get to do life together. Soon we'll be starting our next crazy adventure as parents (ahh!!), and I cannot wait for the inevitable laughter and tears of this next season. We always keep each other laughing, and try not to take things so seriously that we can't appreciate the little joys.
To commemorate five years, I thought I'd do this year's anniversary post a little differently. I sought out or made up some marriage-y questions. Some are a little "Newlywed Game-esque" and some are more long form, but basically we did a little marriage interview! We both answered each one, so read on for our answers to those burning questions you have about Tom and I. In fact, we answered all of these just last night over our anniversary dinner and cocktails (mocktail for me, of course). This was super fun, and I hope you enjoy, too!
I'd like to point out that stupid balloon. I grabbed it in the dollar section thinking it was MUCH bigger and I cracked up when Tom blew it up! Haha womp womp tiny balloon!
Describe our first kiss in one word.
Tom: Awkward
Joy: … definitely awkward.
(I should note, we were essentially best friends, so it was suuuuuper weird kissing your best friend all of a sudden. However, after that one kiss it wasn’t very awkward anymore ;) )
What were your top 3 moments together from this last year?
Tom: Iceland, finding out that Joy is pregnant, moving to Nashville.
Joy: Having Hondo for a year, finding out I’m pregnant, and moving to Nashville. I would also say Iceland, but I got limited by three!
What do you know about marriage now, that you didn’t know 5 years ago?
Tom: I feel like I didn’t know anything about marriage 5 years ago. All you have to go on is what others tell you about it, and I don’t think they did it justice. For guys, there’s a perception that you give up a lot by getting married, which is so far from reality. It’s amazing, it’s fun, it’s so much better than before, and it gets better every day.
Joy: I just don’t think you can quite fathom how love changes and evolves. At the time you get married, you think you really love that person a lot. More than you ever thought possible. But somehow, with each passing day, that love has grown. I love and appreciate Tom wayyyy more now than I ever did when I was 23. It’s like I didn’t even know what love even was at that point. Also, I think people always talk about how important good communication is… but it bears SO much repeating. Healthy, honest communication is key to so many areas of marriage. After 5 years, I so appreciate starting our marriage off with practicing good communication.
What was your very first memory of your spouse?
Tom: “Hey, want to come sit with us?”
Joy: He was dating a girl in the room next to mine, but my door was open and I was singing along with American Idol on TV, and he just plopped down to hear me sing.
How long had you been dating, when you were you pretty sure you were going to marry your spouse?
Tom: … about a month. Or less.
Joy: Yup. Didn’t take long to know.
What has been the hardest part about marriage?
Tom: Not sure that there is anything in particular that jumps out to me… Maybe it’s hard agreeing on figuring out what we’re going to eat this week…?
Joy: Honestly? In 5 years, I can’t say it’s been hard. There have been hard trials, hard days, moody days, grumpy days… but overwhelmingly, marriage hasn’t been “hard.” Had we not had an established friendship, maybe it would have been, but we were friends first, so we communicate honestly and lovingly.
What is your spouse’s most annoying habit?
Tom: Worry snowballing, e.g. getting herself so worked up by THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME of something. For example, Joy had a solid day and a half before we went to Europe worrying about her teeth falling out in France, and not speaking the language, and I couldn’t translate because I was eaten by a bear, and she had amnesia, and all of our luggage was lost, in a hurricane, in the middle of nowhere, and they only had sharpened rocks to replace her teeth with.
Joy: Eating before putting away cold food and forgetting about it entirely.
(Tom’s response is killing me - hahaha - my front six teeth are fake, if that was confusing to anyone. AND IT’S A REAL FEAR OKAY)
Name a time you were most proud of your spouse.
Tom: One time at Walmart, I was trying to toss a bag of cheese in our cart from like 15 feet away and kept missing. Joy grabbed the cheese, all tough, said she could do it and then ON HER FIRST TRY tossed the bag o cheese between her legs from across the aisle and landed it EXACTLY on the child seat between two other items. Best trick shot ever. She’d never be able to do it again if she tried. Also, this blog. Everyday.
Joy: ...for the record I HAVE tried the cheese shot again, and failed miserably every time. I’m super proud of my cheese moment. Okay but for Tom? His handiness. For our first two years of marriage, we lived in apartments and I never saw him do anything remotely handy. And if he did, it always ended up being a big fail (shelves falling off walls, etc..). But when we got our house, he blew me away! He gutted our downstairs and built our whole kitchen and wired everything and cut countertops perfectly. It was so impressive! And he also installed a tankless water heater. Like, who was this guy?!
Are we more opposite, or similar?
Tom: Similar.
Joy: Similar.
What is one thing we’re really opposite about?
Tom: I love pasta, she does not. This is the saddest part of our marriage.
Joy: I’m much less inclined to invite new technology into our home.
What is one thing we’re really similar about?
Tom: Furniture tastes. Take us into a store. Point at a chair, and we will both say the exact things wrong, right, or odd about it. Every time.
Joy: Trying new foods. Pregnancy has made this harder, but when I don’t have silly pregnancy restrictions, I think I’m most excited for this. Also, house stuff. We can agree on furniture to a T.
What’s my spirit animal?
Tom: A puppy. She is what she loves. Fussy at times, but always wants to be close.
Joy: I don’t think you’d be an animal. I think you’re more like a mixture of an old man, a child, and a nerdy dad. And I can’t wait to see your nerdy dad show up even more in this next season of life. Having said that, you might be an alpaca. Mostly because they seem like they’d wear old man sweaters and Waldo glasses, while running really dorky.
Which of us is more decisive?
Tom: Joy. She’ll say me, because I decide on where we’re going and what we’re doing, but in regards to the minutia, it’s her all day.
Joy: Me.. no wait. Tom. Wait. Hondo? No I think it’s Tom.
(Look! We can’t even decide on who decides better! Maybe neither of us is very good at deciding...)
What do we finish more of: each other’s sandwiches, sentences, or last nerves?
Tom: I’ll eat her sandwiches, we finish each other’s sentences.
Joy: Well, most meals sound like “Tom: Are you done with that?” as I simultaneously say, “I’m done with this.” So sandwiches and sentences at the same time. Nerves, eh.. thankfully it takes a lot for him to get on my nerves.
What is your favorite thing to see your spouse wearing?
Tom: Anything green. Her eyes change color all the time, but they go bright green when she wears that color. Also, giant t-shirts, also known as blogger uniform. She’s most sassy, most comfy, most herself in a xxxxxxxxxxxxl tshirt.
Joy: This is actually really hard. Because Tom in nasty, heavy labor clothes always makes me happy, and I like his usual work clothes or church clothes, but when he gets in comfy pants and snuggles me, that’s probably my favorite. Also when I notice his wedding ring, it still gives me butterflies.
What is your spouse’s favorite food?
Tom: Mexican, but really anything with cheese. Queso, cheesy garlic bread, pizza, cheese plates, cheese, cheese, cheese. We have like 5 pounds of it in the fridge. (this is not an exaggeration)
Joy: Asian. Pho, ramen… mostly the noodle based soup kinds.
What is something your spouse has completely changed their mind about since you’ve been together?
Tom: That I’m handy. She thought I was a total dolt when it came to DIY things for the first 2 years.
Joy: Mushrooms. And Coldplay? He didn’t dislike them, but now he never minds how much I listen to Coldplay.
What was your favorite part of our wedding day?
Tom: As soon as we hit the road to go to Chicago. Thank God for a morning wedding.
Joy: Dinner alone at our hotel the evening of our wedding day.
What is a sure-fire way to get on your spouse’s nerves?
Tom: Leave the toilet paper roll facing inward… or is it outward…? I can never remember.
Joy: OVER, TOM, OVER!!!
Just ONE? We are both the king and queen of pet peeves. The easiest ways to get on Tom’s nerves would be using comic sans, singing a song from Annie, or saying EXpresso (this, only if someone says it repeatedly in a single conversation. It builds).
What is your favorite meal that your spouse cooks?
Tom: Chicken pot pie, or anything baked. The woman can bake.
Joy: Biscuits and gravy. But he also makes a mean ramen.
What’s your spouse’s favorite joke to tell?
Tom: She’s not much of a recurring joke teller. All original content.
Joy: “Who said that?” You have to be there to understand...
What’s your favorite thing to do together?
Tom: Exploring an area together, just the two of us. San Antonio, Iceland, New York, Savannah, Asheville, Florence, Nashville… the locations are great, but exploring them is the best.
Joy: Spending a day exploring new areas and finding new restaurants.
What is your spouse’s signature dance move?
Tom: It was something different in college, but now she does a super dorky flailing arms move that really should be shared with the world.
Joy: Really wide open eyes, serious face, flailing arms, and moon-walky legs. He never breaks eye contact, and he only does this move if I’m there to use as a focus. It’s terrifying, but also hilarious. Again, alpaca.
What personality trait made you fall in love with your spouse that they still exemplify today?
Tom: Sarcasm and how opinionated she was.
Joy: Highly opinionated sassy sarcasm.
Who is the spender?
Tom: It’s me. I’m good at finding deals, okay?
Joy: ...well it’s not me.
What’s something you love about your spouse, that they don’t always love about themselves?
Tom: The way she looks in the morning.
Joy: He can be super assertive, and I think sometimes he’s worried he comes across like a jerk. But I like that about him because it’s a trait a lot of people constantly fight against or don’t use. However, because he’s aware of it, he does a good job remaining kind and I admire that about him.
In the last 5 years, what has been your favorite part of being together?
Tom: All of it. Exploring, traveling, joking, people watching, tasting, crying, being together, sitting and doing nothing, being exhausted from doing too much, living in new cities, talking to new people, coming home to see her after work, waking up and seeing her in the morning, getting Hondo, renovating a home, getting on each other’s nerves, finding the things that only each other would like, knowing the things that the other would hate. All of it.
Joy: Seeing Tom develop in his career while still managing to prioritize being together and go on adventures. I get super restless at sudden intervals, and he’ll gladly get us out of the house, even if he’s kind of spent from being at the office. I just love being with him more than anyone else. He’s my best friend, and when we have to be apart for even a few days, I get unashamedly bummed because I hate missing moments with him. Clingy. Not sorry about it. So, basically, just being together.
There you have it! Cheers to FIVE YEARS! Here are a few photos from this weekend's anniversary adventures:
DSLR Tips & Basics
When you look at all the mumbo-jumbo next to the buttons, it can feel a little daunting to mess with - like you'll break something and not be...
I was talking to a friend recently who admitted that although she owns a nice little DSLR, she doesn't fully understand how to use the features. I get it! When you look at all the mumbo-jumbo next to the buttons, it can feel a little daunting to mess with - like you'll break something and not be able to get it back to the familiar "auto" settings.
However, I'm married to a guy that constantly reminds me to challenge myself. To learn something new, and maybe in the process, I'll become more proficient. Sometimes I fight this (because I like to play it safe), so his encouragement to take little risks has been such an awesome thing for me.
When we got our first DSLR (a Canon Rebel T6), we learned together all the basics and what they do. Let me break them down for you in this post so it'll be easy to navigate on your own, and maybe you can brave up and start using manual mode! We did upgrade to a Canon 70D, but these basics remain the same. Now keep in mind, I'm no professional, but I figured I'd share a few tips to help you move away from auto settings. So here.we.goooo!
ISO
This is what brightens or darkens your photos. A higher ISO, means a brighter photo. Essentially, each level up on ISO will double your brightness (ie. 200 ISO is twice as bright as 100 ISO). However, the higher the ISO, the grainer your photo will become, so I would suggest keeping that ISO as low as possible for clarity and quality, and try to brighten your photos through other means like aperture or shutter speed.
ISO is an important piece to consider when shooting, and keeping your ISO at the base level in low-light conditions can be challenging because it also means lower aperture or shutter speed which can cause photos to come out extremely blurry. You can remedy this by perhaps using a steady tripod, but even still, your focal point will also need to remain very still. Mess with your ISO and see what happens! Find the ISO ranges you're comfortable in and go from there. Though, again, keeping it low, will keep it from getting grainy.
The photos below look relatively similar, but if you look closer at the first one, you'll notice it's got more grain to it. It may not seem like an issue now, but when you go to edit this photo, it'll be more noticeable.
Shutter speed
That's the thing that looks like 1/200, 1/40, 1/blah blah ... it's the amount of time the shutter is open. A faster shutter speed will let in less light, but allow you to catch an action shot (for example), and a slower shutter speed will let in more light and allow you to blur some motion (like running water or light snow). If you go below 1/50-ish, your photos will likely come out blurry simply because it'll be hard to keep your hand steady at that shutter speed. As a rule of thumb, use a tripod for anything below 1/50 to keep it clear. Pay attention to the exposure control bar at the bottom of your viewing screen that looks sorta like -3...-2...1...^...1...2...3 and try to keep your mark nearest to the center for a well adjusted photo.
Below you can see obvious differences when changing the shutter speed. Because the right photo was a faster speed, it let in less light, which is why it's darker. However, had I been holding the camera when taking the first photo, it would have undoubtedly been blurry.
Aperture
You know that weird number that looks like f 1.8, f 2.8, f 3.5, etc...? That's your aperture (aka f-stop). It controls the size of the opening in the lens when the photo is taken. It's also the thing that gives you that nice focal point with the blurred-out background. The smaller the f-stop, the larger the opening. Landscapes will likely shoot better with a high aperture, whereas a portrait would shoot better at a low aperture. Though, it totally depends on the look you're going for!
The first of these two photos has a low f-stop causing the focal point (the plant) to come in clear, while blurring out the background. The second photo still has that affect, but since it's using a higher f-stop, it's not quite as blurred. I also had to adjust the shutter speeds for these photos to bring the lighting to a more even point because the size of the lens opening (aperture) was being messed with.
Those are the three biggies! Play with them, don't be afraid of manual, and enjoy yourself. Learning how to use these features is really not that daunting, and it ends up being really fun. Just keep in mind that they all go hand in hand. If you mess with one, you'll at least have to mess with another one. It definitely takes some patience, and it means you may have to take a lot of shots to get something just right, but it'll help you when the time comes to edit (which, if you're curious, I typically use Lightroom, Snapseed, and VSCO).
Other tips:
- Start learning to choose your focal point instead of letting your camera choose it. This gives you so much more control over framing an image.
- Try out different lenses for different uses. For example, a 50mm with f1.8 aperture is great for portraits. Personally, my most used lens is a 24mm because it's very functional in lots of different scenarios.
- Buy yourself a 64GB SD card - especially if you shoot in RAW.
- On that note... shoot in RAW! It gives you so much more freedom when editing. Do a little research on that if you're curious. (Here's a helpful article about that)
My favorite camera products:
I hope this short-sweet guide helps you learn a little bit about your camera, but no matter what, just have fun! You're not going to break it by messing with a few buttons, so brave-up and give it a try :)
Oh and here's a nice little cheat sheet for beginners that comes in handy for us even after a couple years of playing with our camera:
snagged via SLR Lounge
Body Image & Pregnancy
On a walk the other night, I was wearing one of Tom's sweaters and asked if I looked pregnant (because even with my belly it sort of swallowed...
Some clothing items in this post are courtesy of Pinkblush
On a walk the other night, I was wearing one of Tom's sweaters and asked if I looked pregnant (because even with my belly it sort of swallowed me up), and before he could answer, I started laughing and said,
"I wonder when I'll quit wondering if I look pregnant and accept that I do... all of the time" and we both just laughed.
You see, before getting pregnant, or even trying (not knowing we would struggle to conceive), the words of so many women echoed in my mind.
Words of sadness and grief for the loss of their pre-pregnant bodies. How they cursed the stretch marks that appeared. How unattractive they felt. How their (in my opinion) adorable bumps just made them feel like a beached whale. How they felt their husbands wouldn't desire them. And on and on.
I would often listen and sympathize, trying to understand, yet never truly grasping their feelings - as one often can't when they've not "been there" themselves. I'm sure for so many women, it's a process of letting go of the body you've come to know and love and even be able to anticipate its changes. Pregnancy sure throws it all for a loop, and it can come as a shock to see your body change by no doing of your own.
However, for the not-yet-mommas who are worried about this:
Pregnancy is beautiful.
It's a privilege.
It shows the incredible capability your body has.
It adds to your beauty - it does NOT take away.
I must admit, pregnancy has not caused me to mourn my body - not for a second. Mourning your pre-pregnant body isn't something we will all face, because we all come from different places and perspectives and there is no shame on either end. We all get to feel how we feel.
But you see, I have had stretch marks since puberty. During a time when I believe insecurities are at their height. Those marks are still there, but they've faded. I've bared them at the beach, in front of boys I liked, and friends who didn't have them. I've simply become accustomed to them, and think nothing of their presence anymore. To be honest, when pregnant friends would speak of the disgust they felt over their stretch marks, it used to hurt me. I've had them since I was 15... does everyone else really find them so revolting?!
"People get them ALL the time!" I'd think. "Who cares! Of course you're getting them - you're growing a human being! I wonder what you think of mine..." and a feeling of judgement would sweep over me. As if I wasn't pristine and perfect and my marks should be something to cover and be ashamed of.
I've since come to terms with their perspective versus mine, and recognized that their sadness is just as valid as my content on the subject.
Then entered yet another perspective.
Infertility.
After two years of trying to conceive, seeing this body of mine change, and stretch, and grow, has been nothing short of a privilege. I cannot find it in me to curse the heartburn or hemorrhoids or crowded lungs or bulging belly. When my old clothes stopped fitting, I met it with relief and joy. For so long I hoped and prayed to be able to carry this life, and finally my body allowed me to do so. Each change and symptom is a clear reminder that my body is doing exactly what it should to accommodate this baby. There is no mourning from me - only joy.
I'm writing this simply to share my own, personal identity with pregnancy and my body image. It may be different from yours, and that's okay.
Today, I'm simply celebrating this growth, and the love and admiration I have for this body. I'm celebrating the spider veins, and hips, and moments when my husband comes up behind me to hold my belly, kiss me on the neck, and say, "You are more beautiful than ever. I've waited so long to see you pregnant and I'm so happy to see you grow. I can't wait for you to get bigger!" Goodness! Swoon! To hear him say that is music to my ears. I've never felt so beautiful in my life, and he just reinforces my thoughts.
I know it can be hard for some women - and I validate that too.
But for me?
I'm happy.
Plus, not having to suck it in for nine whole months is pretty awesome - haha - so I'm reveling in every part of this season. Okay, even if sometimes I do sound like I ran a marathon after going up a flight of stairs #beachedwhale #owningit
AND a huge thank you to Pinkblush for making pregnancy even more enjoyable and helping all sorts of women feel beautiful in their pregnant skin. Clothes that flatter those new curves make a world of difference, and I love that I have a platform to share such a great brand with you all ♡ Here is that adorable floral dress I'm rocking in these photos (just a different color).
And keep scrolling for a Hondo photobomb!
Italy Travel Guide
Ciao, Italia! Oh how we loved Italy. Even amidst the crazy early pregnancy tiredness and nausea, it was still such an amazing country. We loved...
Ciao, Italia! Oh how we loved Italy. Even amidst the crazy early pregnancy tiredness and nausea, it was still such an amazing country. We loved the people, food, sites, and pace of everything there. I'm also glad we took the time to get away from the touristy places and cities and enjoy the genuine lifestyle of the countrysides. Our Airbnbs were especially great in Italy, as well, and I'll share those below. But after not-so-great interactions with the French, it was incredibly refreshing to be welcomed by the sweet, jovial Italians. They truly captured my heart! Even when they didn't know English and our Italian was limited, they did their very best to communicate and would usually end up laughing with us as we all fumbled through words and hand gestures. We even had a super long-winded discussion with a local about American beer and how much he loves it. The people are one of the things I miss most about visiting Italy - they were so charming! They reciprocated smiles, you guys! Haha okay and their food was amazing (not that I ate much of it, sadly, but it was), and everything was absolutely stunning. Let me dive into the helpful hints, though...
Things to note
- The currency of Italy is the Euro. Cards were widely accepted, but a little cash was nice to have on hand.
- The language of Italy is Italian, of course! If you've taken Spanish, Italian is honestly not too hard to pick up. Tom was supposed to learn French (which didn't go over so well) and I was our Italian communicator (since I've taken Spanish). We had no issues in Italy, and many locals know English, anyways, but basic phrases were great to know.
- Sidewalks are old and small. Not a bad thing, just something to note in the old cities.
- Airbnbs:
They don't always (or usually) provide shower soaps. Especially conditioner. Bring your own!
You are taxed per person and must pay exact amount in cash.
You also, by law, must meet your host and show your passport. - Public restrooms may not always have toilet seats.
Traffic
- Relatively easy to pick up on traffic laws and signs.
- Small cars! But that's just Europe.
- Vespas and motorcycles follow no rules. They ride up onto the sidewalks and just generally drive wherever the heck they want, so be watchful!
- Rules of the road are more like guidelines.
Interactions
- Locals are very pleasant.
- Ignore the dogs. Europeans do not give dogs pets and attention in public (which is why their dogs are all well behaved).
- Do your best to speak Italian, but you'll come across plenty of English speakers. Even if you don't know Italian and they don't know English, most of the time they will do their best to communicate with you in one way or another.
- Don't be afraid to joke with them! We read that Italians don't do sarcasm, but they were OFTEN sarcastic with us and would tease us constantly! We loved it.
Food & Drinks
- Typically, you pay at the counter.
- You pay for water and are always given the option of flat or sparkling.
- No need to tip.
- It's an American thing to order soda with your meals - stick with water, wine, or coffee (at the end).
- Some will say that it's rude to share meals, so we never did. However, anywhere we went, I never felt pressured to finish ALL my food, and often Tom and I would eat off each other's plates. No one seemed to care! I did usually let them know I was pregnant so my meats needed to be fully cooked, etc.. so maybe that was part of it?
- Doggy bags are not a thing!
Where we stayed
Florence: Airbnb - we adoredddd this one! Very walkable to all of Florence, affordable, very clean, beautiful view, and extremely comfortable. Huge bathroom, too! Couldn't recommend this one enough.
Riomaggiore: Airbnb - not great. There are limited options for accommodations in Cinque Terre, so it was fine overnight, but there was black mold all over the shower. We were not impressed.
Castiglione Tinella: Airbnb - we splurged a little on this one and it was 100% worth it. This was incredible. The view alone was worth the price, but the place itself was clean, comfortable, and stunning. Not to mention the caretaker who met us there - he was was such a delight and super funny and helpful! The nearby towns are quaint, and because you're in the countryside, you'll meet a lot more locals and non-English speakers but we adored the people out here and in Asti. This is an area we would visit again, without a doubt. Best wine region in Italy in our opinion!
Pisa: Airbnb - cosy is an understatement. The host here was like your mother (the sweet, hospitable kind). She was super caring and knew we were flying out in the morning, so she scheduled a cab for us since we didn't speak fluent Italian. Also, we were so surprised at how charming Pisa was! We only stayed overnight because of a flight, but we loved it and wished we'd have stayed longer. The Airbnb itself was seriously like a bed and breakfast. After coming back from the night out, our private courtyard was lit with candles. Large bathroom, luxurious bed, and old/modern Italian feel. So perfect.
What we saw:
Florence
Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore aka the Duomo. So incredible and MUCH larger than I imagined. Ponte Vecchio is an old stone bridge with shops and fun nightly entertainment. Vivoli for the best gelato. We also walked up to Forte di Belvedere (but it was closed). A young guy in Tuscany told us about a cool speakeasy bar in Florence which was amazingggg and they made me a super delicious mocktail that I'll never forget. The bar is on Google and so on, but they do not advertise at all, so it's really through word of mouth. If you're going to Florence, I'll tell you what it is :) but you'll have to ask. There's tons to see and do in Florence and the food is amazing.
Tuscany
We took a day trip outside of Florence to get an eye-full of Tuscany. Oh my goodness, I could have stayed there all week! We went to Vignamaggio (a beautiful villa, winery, and accommodation) because it's where Much Ado About Nothing with Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh was filmed, which is one of Tom and my favorite movies. The main garden and villa were closed for construction, but we did a wine tasting and had an amazing meal there. The views and property were breathtaking and next time we are in Italy, I think we'll actually stay there! Driving through Tuscany was such a treat. Definitely give that a go!
La Spezia/Riomaggiore (Cinque Terre)
From Florence, we drove to La Spezia, parked, and took a train into Riomaggiore for the the night. Riomaggiore was charming, but honestly, it felt like such a tourist trap. The food (especially pesto!) was very good, but it seemed crowded everywhere. We enjoyed the evening once the tourists had mostly gone, but if I were to have done the trip over, I'd have skipped Cinque Terre. That's just personal preference though! It was unique, but Tom and I enjoy more isolated locales (which is probably why we loved Iceland). Also, the pretty, brightly colored buildings you often see photos of, are really quite run down and only edit brightly. They're actually extremely faded and not as amazing a sight to behold in real life! To each their own, though - go visit Cinque Terre if it floats your boat.
Castiglione Tinella
Probably the most beautiful part of our time in Italy. We drove up to northwest Italy because it holds our favorite wine region - Barolo and Nebbiolo grapes. On the drive up, we stopped along the coast and bought seafood right off a boat sitting in the harbor while admiring the beach. Our Airbnb was situated at the top of some breathtaking (and I mean BREATHTAKING) foothills covered in vineyards as far as the eye can see. Asti is a nearby town at the bottom of the foothills and had very few English speakers, but had delicious food and bakeries. The locals were super sweet, and locally owned stores were perfect for finding more authentic souvenirs.
Pisa
We were only here for an overnight, but the afternoon and evening we spent there was so memorable! Like Florence, it's incredibly walkable. The street markets were so fun to browse and it felt really clean everywhere. It just had a nice energy and pace throughout the city and we actually wished we had spent more than one night there, but we had just never thought it would be very interesting. How wrong we were! Check out the whole city and enjoy the locals and food!
Our Infertility Story
This post has always made me nervous to write. Yet, I feel like infertility is STILL so unspoken, misunderstood, and lonely and I have a great...
This post has always made me nervous to write. Yet, I feel like infertility is STILL so unspoken, misunderstood, and lonely and I have a great desire to open up about it and offer hope. I want this post to give a glimpse into what it looks like. Hang tight, this will be a long one. Whether you've experienced infertility, haven't experienced it, or maybe will, this simply covers our personal experience. I hope it opens your eyes to the many factors that can affect this trial and will break down a few barriers in relation to people's perception of it.
Year one:
Everything started the way it does for any hopeful couple ready to grow their family. We were excited, nervous, and hopeful. None of my closest friends or family had an issue conceiving, so naturally, it didn't really cross our minds. It was easy for seemingly everyone else, why wouldn't that be the case for us?
The first month came and went.
"Oh well," we thought, "we must have timed something wrong."
Then the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
And the next month.
Our trash was filled with negative pregnancy tests that seemed to glare at me from their place at the top of the bin. Sprinkled in all those previous weeks were fleeting hopes of pregnancy symptoms. Are my boobs extra sensitive? Maybe this is implantation bleeding? Does that cramp feel different from period cramping?! Am I peeing more? Do I feel pregnant? Am I late? I think I'm late! And every month, went from hopeful two week waits, to heartache in the deepest sense.
We were frustrated at this point. Disappointed. Sad. Friends were moving on to their second pregnancies. Yet here we were. Left behind. Wondering what so wrong with us. Nothing about cycles and so on seemed that askew, but I began to question it. I was disappointed in my body. Why wasn't it doing the most natural thing on earth? I would look at my sweet husband and feel such sadness that I couldn't make him a dad. Gosh, he'd be such a great dad. I'd see him hold our friend's baby and feel my heart sink in my chest for what "should be."
I had an annual check-up with my doctor, and mentioned my concerns. She was a great physician and sent me off for an "infertility work-up" straight away.
I got poked and prodded every other week for two months, and spent a pretty penny on "ovulation predictor kits" to see if it would help us. It didn't. I remember even having to get to a lab while on a trip to have a cycle-time-sensitive blood draw. My arm, it seemed, was forever bruised, and each time I looked down, was reminded that this may be the easiest part of potentially years of pain and heartache. It was only the beginning, and just that thought alone was enough to bring on unbearable hurt.
My tests all came back clear. Everything was working as it should. This was good news, right? Well yes, but it still offered no answer for why we weren't conceiving. Sometimes, no diagnosis can feel worse than actually having one. Our questions had not been answered.
So Tom was tested. We never gave his test much thought, because don't we all just jump to infertility being a "woman's problem?"
When my doctor called me with his results, my heart broke. BROKE. Broke for him, for us, for our hopes, and for God's plan for our life.
She didn't usually call me, but she was home sick and when she got his results knew I would want to know right away. She gave it to me straight, explained each portion of the analysis, and tried to break it to me as gently and lovingly as possible. I was choking on my words and trying to get off the phone before I broke down, but before I rushed off, she said, "Now Joy, this isn't good news, I know that and so do you. But remember that it's not impossible. It doesn't mean it will never happen, it's just going to be a lot harder, and you'll probably need some help to get there. Do not give up hope." I mumbled a half-hearted, thank you and hung up just as my tears poured through the flood gates.
I messaged Tom and told him his results didn't look good. He was at work, so he tried to brush it off until we could talk later. I had a meeting that night, and I remember feeling so glazed over, wishing I wasn't there. I got home late, hugged Tom, and we just looked at each other. I read him the results and we cried. We cried for such a long time and tried to just pick ourselves up each day and muddle through. We comforted one another, prayed, and simply existed for a while, but we never let it come between us. We were very conscientious about what it could do to a marriage, and chose every day to grow closer instead of farther apart. This was no one's "fault" but we had to move forward and accept a different reality from the one we pictured.
Year two:
My doctor had given us a referral to a fertility clinic. We had to wait three months just to get in to our first appointment. THREE MONTHS. Three months is the length of an entire trimester of pregnancy. It was so hard to just twiddle our thumbs while we waited for a few minutes to discuss options and next steps with a stranger. All the while just wishing we'd somehow miraculously conceive before getting in. All the while seeing our friends' babies take first steps and other couples announce their impending arrivals. It felt like daggers to our hurting hearts. Not by any fault of theirs, but it's just a side-affect of infertility I suppose.
We sat down across a sweet younger doctor and when she asked me a simple question, I suddenly lost it.
"Let it out honey," she said. "You are not the first to sit in that chair and cry, and you won't be the last. Whenever you're ready, we can talk."
So I cried and blubbered out answers to medical history questions and how much coffee I drank each day.
She told us that to be positive there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, too, she wanted to have a few more tests done before we focused our time on Tom.
I had more bloodwork done. Then a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) test in which a catheter is inserted into your cervix and they inject dye through your uterus and fallopian tubes while under a live x-ray machine. It was about as comfortable as it sounds, but gave immediate results (which were all clear). It shows you if your tubes are blocked. The very next day, I had a SHG (Sonohysterogram). Same thing, only this time it was saline solution injected into my uterus to separate the walls and check for polyps or cysts with an ultrasound. This was horrid, but again, came back all clear.
So we went ahead and scheduled Tom's tests. Another month-long wait to get in. This was with the fertility clinic's urologist. I won't go into detail on Tom's tests, but they too, were about as invasive as mine. All the while, bills began to pour in (because infertility isn't usually covered by insurance).
After another month or two of waiting, we finally got in with the urologist to hear all the results and go over options.
"Based on your results, we have two options. One: you can have an outpatient procedure done to correct some veins (varicoceles). You may see results in three months and conceive naturally, or you may not see results for a year, if at all. Two: you can do IVF." That was it. Those were our two no-guarantee, expensive options.
Of course, if given any option of conceiving naturally, we would try it. They scheduled the outpatient surgery, and told us we wouldn't get any prices until the week of. But if we decided to cancel, we had to do so 72 hours before the surgery or we'd be charged a $250 fee. Seems like small potatoes, but we wanted to avoid a worthless fee if we could.
Another long wait for the surgery. So we planned a vacation that would land a month afterwards to finally catch a break from all the appointments and waiting and stress of it all.
Until three days before surgery, our clinic called to inform us of a "fee."
They couldn't explain what it was for, and at nearly 3K, we weren't willing to pony up that kind of cash without an explanation, so we demanded they cancel the surgery immediately. Just another setback, we thought.
Surprise, surprise!
By now, I hadn't taken a pregnancy test on a whim for probably a year or so. Why bother torturing yourself? Save yourself some heartache, Joy, just don't bother any more.
Nine days before our big vacation, I had a funny feeling. Something was different. I had one crappy pregnancy test left out of a box of twenty. I had saved it, after telling myself to save it for a time when I was SURE it would come out positive. For some reason, I thought this was that day.
Tom was in the shower, I peed into a cup, and walked out to play with Hondo. I returned a minute later and saw two lines. For the first time ever. EVER. In TWO years.
"Ummm..." I said.
"Umm is the sound in dumb" Tom replied from the shower (A quote from Parks and Rec haha).
"Tom, no, seriously, this test is positive."
He whipped the curtain back and we looked at it together in shock and disbelief.
"Does this mean I can't drink wine in Europe?!" I quipped (half joking, of course).
"Joy are you sure this test is accurate?" he asked.
He got out of the shower, and I got in. Both of us speechless and more afraid than excited. Afraid that it wasn't real or something would happen.
"Joy, it's getting darker," he said.
I quickly got dressed and rushed to the store for prenatal vitamins and more tests. Three more tests confirmed it. I called my doctor and they booked me the soonest appointment so I could get blood-work for confirmation. I left the office that day with a stack of pregnancy information booklets and resources.
Surreal doesn't even begin to cover it.
But you know what is most awe-inspiring to me?
The first day of your last period is the day they use to calculate your due date. Everything is based on that day and marks the "beginning" of your pregnancy.
It was that day that Tom was supposed to have his corrective surgery.
...
...
Let that sink in.
...
...
Had he had that surgery, we wouldn't be expecting our sweet baby boy right now. We said no to doctors and bills, and God said YES. After two years, He finally gave us a dramatic, clear, yes.
That's what I mean when I say there are times in life when God's plan is so muddled, but other times when it is just abundantly clear. We said no to a simple surgery, not knowing when the time would be right to pursue it again, and simply put our faith in God. We let go of control, and He took over. It's not always that clear, or that "simple" ... but it sure is an incredible testimony when it is.
Infertility has been the hardest thing we've ever faced. We may face it again, and the pain it comes with never leaves you.
But I can say this; even amidst the heartache, we had good days. We were surrounded by blessings that we probably took for granted. Our marriage remained strong, we had our health, Hondo came into our lives and comforted us and brought us the joy we were missing, and God was walking with us.
God is good. In the good times and bad, He is so good.
A couple take-aways:
Infertility is not just a "woman's issue." One third of cases is an issue with the woman, one third is an issue with the man, and one third is a combination of both.
1 in 8 couples will experience infertility. We never imagined we'd be that "one," yet here we are.
(source)
Though we miraculously conceived and are overjoyed, pregnancy after infertility has been wrought with fear. Many women have fear in pregnancy and beyond - it's a normal part of motherhood - but this is something ingrained a little deeper.
It's a fear of losing that child and grieving so deeply what took so long to achieve, and having to begin the horrible path of infertility again.
It's never feeling truly sure that things will be "okay" in the end. Whether that's birth, pregnancy, health of the baby, or the next time you try to get pregnant.
It's still feeling so broken when your friends in the infertility community endure yet another loss or failed attempt at IVF/IUI/adoption and you know there is nothing you can say or do to make their hurt go away.
It's "survivor's guilt" when you get pregnant and they are still waiting.
It's feeling far more protective of your child's life than you ever thought you would (like, I want to put our baby in a bubble after birth and never let anyone touch him hahaha).
It's still somehow feeling a twinge of pain with birth announcements, even though you're already expecting.
It's not feeling joy and excitement at the thought of trying for the next child, but emotional preparation and dread.
Life after infertility is, at its core, living in a constant state of unknown. It's a test of faith and trust in God's plan. His plan can be hard to see at times, and not like what you would plan for yourself, but He has never forsaken us and that is something I always cling to on the hardest of days. He is faithful, and I can honestly say that putting my trust in Him is the only place I have found peace.
If you are facing infertility, know that you are not alone. There are people in your same boat, feeling the same conflicting, crappy feelings as you, and crying themselves to sleep after yet another day littered with pregnant bellies and baby photos. There are resources and support groups that can offer solace, comfort, and advice (contact me if you would like to be part of something like this - it's confidential). Of course I am no expert and do not pretend to be, but I am a listening ear, and hope to be a voice for the silent sufferers of infertility. If our story helps even one person feel a sense of belonging and understanding, then I'm glad we shared it.
In the meantime, we'll be here. Praying for our precious baby that we are so privileged to welcome into the world in a few short weeks. We'll be praying for the infertile. And trusting in the peace we find in Jesus.
Second Trimester Recap
I see now, why people say the second trimester tricks women into thinking they could have a bazillion babies. This trimester was so amazing...
I see now, why people say the second trimester tricks women into thinking they could have a bazillion babies. This trimester was so amazing! I felt like my normal self, plus a cute not overly gigantic bump, and generally just felt so happy to be pregnant. I'll go into more detail below.
Symptoms
Nausea gone - I didn't usually puke every week even in the first trimester, but on week 16, I randomly puked twice and then it never came back, and the nausea left me completely. It's like it had to go out on a finale haha
Boobies - Sore, full, and leaky. Not trying to be TMI, but figured I'd give full disclosure.
Round ligament pain - This tapered off a bit in the later part of the second trimester
Thick hair - I read about it, and basically your hair just stays put instead of falling out like it normally would. There's hardly any hair in my brush these days, and my hair feels so luxe. I love it!
Emo - Gah, such a sap! And the dumbest things made/make me cry now. It's just a constant up and down of emotions sometimes, and I'm actually able to recognize it and laugh (and cry-laugh) about it. It's so bizarre to have no control over it haha
Extreme hunger - I didn't get crazy hunger pangs in the first trimester, but second trimester (and into third) have been sudden, dizzying, NEED FOOD NOW bouts.
Hemorrhoids - hey, I'm not gonna sugar coat. And this one legit suckssss hahaha
Back pain - just from the growing belly and your back having to compensate for the weight and balance. Thankfully I have a great husband who willingly helps a wifey out!
Clear skin - From bad acne in the first trimester, to luminous skin in the second - I'll take it!
Pee all the time - This has been my worst nightmare from BEFORE pregnancy. I have THE tiniest bladder, and now in pregnancy it's made functioning to a normal degree so difficult. I probably get up four times a night (and I don't flush every time because I'd have to flush a thousand times a day - and Tom sees all my pee in the toilet and can never believe it hahaha). But if there is one thing about pregnancy I'd complain about, it would be this. I pee before we go somewhere, and 15 minutes later I have to go again. So irritating.
Cravings
I can honestly say, I got a couple honest to goodness cravings in the second trimester. For a while there... Taco Bell (so bad, I know). But our nearest TB happens to be consistently really good, and Mexican pizzas are just so stinking delicious. Makes me want one right now as I type this, actually. Ha! The other one - MILK. For a couple weeks we had to buy so much flipping milk because I was guzzling it down like I'd never tasted milk in my life (normally I'm not a huge milk drinker). This one is still lingering, but it's not as insane as it was. We ran out of milk at one point and I nearly cried that I had to go to the store for more hahaha!
Second Trimester Journal
Weeks 13-15
We heard the heartbeat again at 13 weeks (the day we announced) and it was beautiful. We publicly announced a few days before 14 weeks, then we drove to Minnesota for Thanksgiving which was really fun. My mom took me maternity clothes shopping, because she was afraid I'd be a hobo pregnant woman and wear men's shirts (accurate).
Our Georgia house went under contract, but the buyers were a royal pain.
Weeks 16-20
The day before 17 weeks I got a kidney stone and we found out the gender in the ER. My belly popped a bit more during this time. I started to feel baby move more obviously, but Tom didn’t until...
the middle of week 18, baby was moving a LOT at bedtime. So much so, I could actually help Tom feel little jabs! It was so precious to say “There!” and he could correspondingly feel it! And then I’d be quiet and he was feeling them without me telling him. Super precious and fun. Like a goldfish hitting the side of a bag.
I was 19 weeks at Christmas and cried before church one morning because my clothes were ill-fitting. Not because I was sad to get bigger - that’s great, but that I didn’t have anything to wear that I felt cute in. It was that awkward in-between time where maternity clothes didn’t fit well yet, but regular clothes were too tight or laid weird. More and more, though, that belly was showing up!
At 20 weeks, my belly was round. Still smaller, but definitely pronounced. Tom made sure I got some clothes to make me feel better, and that helped immensely. Baby’s movements were obvious and often! There was no mistaking those little kicks and rolls.
Weeks 21-24
This baby MOVES! Bladder kicks were still shocking when they'd occur - haha - but overall, I loved this time during pregnancy when it’s just unmistakable what’s happening in there. We also had the anatomy scan at 21 weeks and baby looked so darling.
Week 22 we moved into our new house and it was BUSY! The day we closed, it iced. Then it snowed. Our move-in date got pushed two days later and our washer and dryer got delivered 10 days late.
On week 24, I started getting symptoms of a UTI, but I didn’t get any of the major symptoms. So my guess is that my bladder just suddenly got more squished! Around this time, I was also getting particularly emotional and needy. Bless Tom and his patience and sweet nature.
I also shared on social media and in my last blog post that we're having a BOY! We are over the moon.
Weeks 25-27
Still lots of movement, and much more intense. Those kicks and rolls started showing themselves through my clothes, even! The belly is also super apparent and it's fun when strangers ask about it or want to know what we're having, etc.. I also spend time talking to our little guy and singing. We slowly started going through our registry and buying things up and now we have all our furniture for the nursery and just need the other basics!
Overall, the second trimester has been amazing. I have continually kept the perspective that I don't know anything. I am intentionally allowing myself to let go of any expectations about pregnancy, birth, and parenting, because frankly, everyone does their thing and they really just figure it out as they go. Witnessing others who have gone on to have children before me, has taught me this - each and every person I've spoken to in regards to these topics has had something completely different to say. So my expectation is that I have none, and honestly, it has made this pregnancy feel fun, fresh, and new to me and I've been able to fully enjoy it and be grateful. The internet and people's experiences and opinions can be helpful, but sometimes they can be a hinderance to your own joy. All that to say, take your life as is, and don't compare and contrast it to another's - that is for them, this is for you. And for me? Well, right now, I'm happy and so content. *Now picture me raising a heaping glass of milk to cheers this next trimester!* Yippee!
Maternity Style | PinkBlush
You voted on Instagram, so here is a little maternity style post just for YOU! So, I'm gonna be real upfront and tell you that I seriously...
+ a surprise announcement!
You voted on Instagram, so here is a little maternity style post just for YOU!
So, I'm gonna be real upfront and tell you that I seriously love having a pregnant tummy. I think it's so fun to find ways to flatter it with different outfits, and I've truly enjoyed it. I know some people really mourn the loss of their pre-pregnant bodies, but after going through infertility, I am nothing but grateful to see that belly grow! Maybe you're the same, maybe you're not, but regardless, that belly will grow... so why not have some fun making it look adorable?
I spent some time online looking for cute maternity shops, and my favorite that I found, was called PinkBlush. They are more known for their maternity clothes, but they also carry regular women's clothing, plus, and maternity plus. I would definitely describe their overall style to be "boutique," but with super reasonable prices. Honestly, I feel like everywhere you go shopping at the very limited brick and mortar maternity clothes places, the prices are crazy high and you end up really limited in terms of options.
PinkBlush sent me a few items to share with you, and my true and honest opinion is: I LOVE THEM. They're flattering, they have tons of options, and the price is right. They even have the prettiest delivery robes!
Little thing - their sizes do seem to run big. I got everything in a medium (which I normally wear for tops and dresses) and I had plenty of room. I'm 24 weeks, so maybe in another 15 weeks, I'll go back on that statement (haha) but just a heads up.
Enough chatter - here are the cute pieces I snatched up AND an announcement mingled in there for you to find!
Did you catch it?! We're having a BOY and SO overjoyed!
The funny thing is, we found out in the emergency room when I was 17 weeks and had a kidney stone. I had to get an OB scan to make sure the baby was okay, and the tech was asking if we were planning on finding out, etc.. and we had said yes, but were just making conversation. When they wheeled my bed out of the ultrasound room, she came running after us with a folded up piece of paper and said, "If you want to know, you can look at the paper..." Of course, we looked the second we got back to our ER room and it was super precious and happy amidst the crappy scenario.
Anyways, I thought this post would be perfect for announcing our happy news :) simply because having something cute to wear makes it all the sweeter! Oh and that lace shoulder sweater up there is suuupppperrrr comfy and adorable and I've basically been living in it these days!