2018 Reflections
And just like that, 2018 has come to a close.
Oh friends, what a year this has been. For me, it has been one of the best years of my life, and yet I know that for others, it may been the most painful. Before I go on,
And just like that, 2018 has come to a close.
Oh friends, what a year this has been. For me, it has been one of the best years of my life, and yet I know that for others, it may have been the most painful. Before I go on, I want to acknowledge that. If there is anything that infertility has taught me, it’s that perspective+empathy is a winning combination for tact and compassion. I know I’m not perfectly tactful all the time, and not perfectly compassionate, but I hope that I’ve become better at it. I have been on the side of doling out grace (as we all have!) when people do and say tactless things. Thoughtless things. When they unknowingly (or knowingly) broach a subject that will illicit hurt. I try to remember the perspective I’ve gained, and try to be gentler with my words. I write a little less adamantly these days, because I think fewer opinions are black and white.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have an awful lot of opinions… haha!
But I guess the path of two years of infertility, followed by the birth of our precious baby boy, has taught me to be a little kinder, a little more guarded, and yet be willing to open up when the moment and people are right.
Receiving messages from readers and followers who have been touched by infertility, or motherhood topics, or are traveling to Iceland, or love Bernese Mountain Dogs, continues to be my favorite part of having this little space online. I love connecting with people and I hope my words offer hope or guidance or even just a good story. As I looked over a couple messages I received over the last month, I read one to Tom and said, “You know, sometimes I just want to close up shop, and let blogging end here while I stay at home with Silas. But it’s these messages that make it worth it. I know I have people who read and never reach out, and that’s okay… but it sure would encourage me to keep going if this happened more regularly!” and we laughed and that’s when I decided to dust off my editing page again.
I really hope those of you out there, who still bother to come by this little space, enjoy the far and in-between writings of this Tennessee momma. In the new year, I plan on making Joy Lynn a place I come back to regularly again. Though I must admit, the last seven and a half months with my boy have been absolutely blissful. Tiring. But blissful. All that to say - please reach out if the mood strikes. I promise I don’t bite! Message me on Instagram, Facebook, or email me here.
Now, on to reflections of this year:
As you can guess, it was one that was overwhelmingly baby-focused. As I was rocking my not-so-little 19lb baby to sleep, tonight, I hugged him tightly, and realized how quickly it all goes. I realized this is the last night I would lay down my baby in the year he was born. In the year I became a momma. (Can you tell I’ve become a giant sap since becoming a mother?! haha). Though, I’m so looking forward to 2019 and enjoying the spring and summer with a toddler instead of a newborn.
This year, I’ve learned that…
no good comes of comparing your parenting choices with someone else’s.
all babies are different.
with a new baby, comes a new level of communication with your spouse.
you have got to have a sense of humor for every stage and season of life or you’ll go crazy and be miserable.
overly serious people are not our kind of people .
Hondo’s Instagram is so extra… it’s our favorite thing.
you really do know your baby and the less you doubt that, the happier you’ll all be.
breastfeeding is incredible, but also REALLY time consuming. Pretty sure it’s been my full-time job the last 7+ months.
hobbies matter! My baking and photography are getting picked up more often and I’m so glad for it.
marriage after a baby is pretty awesome.
making time for yourself as not just a mom, but an individual, is important, but sometimes hard to come by. You gotta be creative!
finding a baby carrier you love makes a huuuuuge difference.
traveling with a baby is not pleasant.
even though so much has changed, Tom and I still bring on the sass and it cracks us up on the daily.
There’s not much more I can really say to reflect on this year, besides reiterating how extraordinarily blessed we feel. Tom and I literally fight over whose turn it is to hold Silas on the regular and that alone probably sums up our feels as new parents. We’re a couple of saps, and we have no shame about it. We are completely smitten.
We are so grateful for God’s grace and forgiveness and promise of salvation, we are grateful for our Silas boy (and Hondo!), and we are grateful for one another. If we walked into 2019 with nothing else, we would be as richly blessed.
Happy New Year, my friends.
And thank YOU all for continuing to drop in even while I’ve been taking this time. I love interacting with you on Instagram, and if you have any topics in the meantime that you’d like me to take on in 2019 PLEASE DON’T BE SHY! Would you like me to review anything? Bake anything? Compare any products? Write about Nashville? See more house posts or photos? Minimalism? Marriage topics? Hondo guest posts? (haha kidding) Monthly updates? Favorite products lately? Come on - lemme hear it! It’ll help me get the ball rolling! :)
As always, much love,
Joy
The Decision to Stay Home
A while back, someone messaged me asking how we came to our decision to have me be a stay at home mom. She was curious…
A while back, someone messaged me asking how we came to our decision to have me be a stay at home mom. She was curious about my perspective and the pros and cons we weighed. It was a good question, and it made me want to write a little post on it!
To be honest, this one was something we decided on many, many years ago.
I remember it very vividly, actually.
As someone whose mother stayed at home, it was something I really saw the value in and wanted for my own children someday. We all have our own set of convictions, morals, and values, and this was something that fell into my value-set.
I think Tom and I were probably engaged at the time, but it was a topic we hadn’t actually talked about. I remember we were having lunch at Whole Foods in Milwaukee, and were seated by the windows. We were casually talking about our careers and our future, and I honestly wasn’t sure what his view was… so I kind of off-handedly stated something like, “Well, if I stay home with our kids, then yeah.. blah blah..” He stopped, turned, and said, “Well yeah. I definitely want you to stay home with our kids.”
It was such a relief to hear him say that. I figured he probably felt that way (we are very similar and share the same morals and values), but hearing him actually verbalize it, was music to my ears. So honestly, from that moment on, I knew it wouldn’t be a big discussion later on, more than an eventuality.
That being said, there are obviously more parts to consider.
Financially, can we live off of one income? Especially as our budget needs to grow to accommodate a child?
How will our roles in the home shift?
Will this ruin Joy’s chances of re-entering the workforce later on? Will she continue to work from home?
Would the cost of daycare outweigh one of our salaries?
I mean, so many of the questions you ask yourself are very personalized to your own circumstances, so I won’t continue. But especially living in Nashville, where there are daycare waiting lists for 2+ years out, it just made sense for us. More than anything, having me at home was important to us.
Has it had its times when it feels like an overwhelming “giving of oneself” to the point where you find yourself staying up well after the others are in bed, just to have some time to yourself? Yes. It’s easy sometimes, and hard other times. It’s boring some days, and exciting and busy many others. Like literally all things in life, it was simply a matter of personal choice.
More than anything, though, the value in having me at home outweighs all the financial or career-minded aspects. Not everyone is able to stay home because of some of the pros and cons they have to weigh, so I count myself very blessed to be able to do so. It’s not for everyone. It’s not easy, and neither is being a working-mom. We all do our best for our kids and for our marriages, and keeping Christ at the center of our family will always be the most important.
All that to say - I’m staying home with my little boy and we couldn’t be happier with that decision for our family.
Go Home
This is a post I’ve wanted to write for years, but haven’t at the risk of sounding whiney.
Let me preface this a bit.
Tom and I met and married in Wisconsin and lived there for two years after getting married. But then we
This is a post I’ve wanted to write for years, but haven’t at the risk of sounding whiney.
Let me preface this a bit.
Tom and I met and married in Wisconsin and lived there for two years after getting married. But then we were ready for an adventure. “Anywhere but here syndrome” they call it, I think. We were ready for a change and were in stagnant jobs that we wanted to leave. We job hunted online all over the country, and whenever we’d see something in Atlanta, we’d look at each other to gauge our thoughts on it. We’d pause, scrunch up our noses and say, “nah.”
Low and behold, though, that’s where we landed. Tom was offered a job with a salary nearly as much as we had been making combined. So we figured why not! And honestly, we still never regret making the move to Atlanta because it truly furthered Tom’s career into what he is doing and loving now, and I got to explore work-from-home life. It was a good move. When we announced our move, all sorts of people came out of the woodwork and mentioned their times living in The ATL and how much they loved it. We were a little skeptical, but we believed them.
But we hated Atlanta.
I’m finally coming clean and I don’t feel bad when I admit it, now!
It had its bits and pieces, don’t get me wrong.
We loved our church home… but it took 40 minutes to get there. If there was no traffic.
We loved the few people we really got to know.
We got Hondo in Georgia!
I got pregnant in Georgia!
We discovered Indian food, and never had to go far when a craving struck.
We loved the outdoor mall where we could take Hondo into every store.
It was nice having an IKEA around.
We learned to appreciate the long spring and fall seasons that met briefly in the middle with about a week of “winter.”
We were able to visit Savannah, Hilton Head, Tybee, Asheville, Blue Ridge, and more…
But we were also battling all the emotions and doctors appointments that went along with two hard years of infertility, in Georgia. We rarely went into the city because traffic always made it a whole ordeal. There were far too many chain restaurants and almost no coffee roasteries. It was crowded, people were not indistinguishably friendly, and meeting people with common interests was very hard because of its melting-pot nature (which was sometimes really cool, but no one who lived there was usually FROM there).
I talk about lessons learned here, right? Well this was one of them.
Moves like that stretch you. They build a little character. They help you learn more about yourself (and maybe your marriage too).
Basically, what I’m getting at is, try to see the positive in everything. The silver lining. Trust in God. But when it comes down to it, you don’t have to live somewhere you hate forever. MOVE. FIND YOUR HOME!
Atlanta did not suit us. Not at all. So when the opportunity to move to Nashville came about we were ecstatic. Atlanta was simply a stepping stone for us, but I am really, REALLY glad to be “home” in Nashville. We are still loving it more every day. Will we always love Nashville? Who knows. But I can tell you one thing: we already feel far more rooted in the community here than we ever did in 3+ years in Atlanta.
We love going into the city.
Target is right up the road. (priorities)
We still get a lot of visitors!
There is snow in the winter! (This is a positive to me)
Tom can get to and from work far quicker than he was ever able to before.
I’m not afraid to drive here.
I was able to have my actual OB deliver my baby instead of having the on-call doctor (that would have been the case in Georgia).
The coffee and food scene is amazing!
I weirdly have more pride in living in Nashville than I ever did in Atlanta.
It feels like home, and you don’t really realize how priceless that is until you leave a place that does NOT feel like home.
I guess I’m just writing this one to stay.. it’s okay. It’s okay if you don’t like where you live. It’s valid, even. But don’t fixate on it. Make the best of it… but don’t be afraid to just pull the trigger and leave after a short time if you think that’s best. We thought (after buying our house there) that we’d be there for at least another 5 years. Two years after we said that, we were burning rubber on our way to Nashville. You can make a change and you can move if you’re unhappy! I think so many people think about the what-ifs and the risks so much that they put off a great decision far longer than they need to. I guess I’m just writing this post to encourage you not to stay somewhere that makes you unhappy.
I haven’t written a super ramble-y post like this in a while! Haha frankly, I haven’t been writing at ALL lately, so sorry if it’s all over the place. Sometimes I miss those old “diary days” of blogging, ya know? Anyways. All that to say….
I’m really glad we live in Nashville. It’s been a good 3+ years since we’ve felt this happy where we live, and I’m just excited to say that.
Iceland 2017 | Video Compilation
You’ll find this on my Youtube Channel, but just in case you end up here, I thought I’d post it. This is a compilation of the videos we
You’ll find this on my Youtube Channel, but just in case you end up here, I thought I’d post it. This is a compilation of the videos we took in Iceland in September 2017. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s a fun way to see all our shorter videos in one. We think of Iceland often, and honestly, we’re dying to go back. Anyways, enjoy this fun montage!
A Nostalgic Bathtime Routine
We all have those things that make us nostalgic. They are usually little things that take you right back to a memory. A smell… a song… an item.
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #JohnsonsLovesBaby #ChooseGentle #CollectiveBias
We all have those things that make us nostalgic. They are usually little things that take you right back to a memory. A smell… a song… an item.
One of those things for me, is JOHNSON’S® Baby.
You can pick up ALL your JOHNSON’S® Baby essentials at CVS Pharmacies! Click the image above to shop online or see what your store carries.
I was so excited when I saw the opportunity to work with them and write this post, because their products are the first thing I think of when I think “baby smell.” This brand holds such a sweet place in my heart, and it’s a brand I’m loyal to. In case you hadn’t heard, JOHNSON’S® products are new and improved - inside and out. They nixed 50% of their ingredients, making them simpler and even more gentle than before.
I was the youngest of seven kids, so I don’t necessarily think of JOHNSON’S® Baby when I myself was a child (as I wouldn’t really remember), but I know my mom used it. For me, the nostalgia is attached to when I became an aunt. As the youngest, my older siblings got married and started their families when I was still in grade school. I was only thirteen years old when my first niece came along. I would visit their houses and JOHNSON’S® Baby was there by the sink or tub. They would come visit grandma and grandpa’s house and I would watch my mom bathe her grandbabies in the kitchen sink and watch over her shoulder. I watched her go through the motions with such ease - as if it were just muscle memory. What else was always a part of that process? JOHNSON’S® Baby - particularly their Head-to-Toe wash.
One of the sweetest moments after we brought our son home, was his first sink bath. My parents were here, helping with everything, while I continued to recover. I asked my mom to give Silas his first bath because I wanted her to re-teach me (since it had been years since I really watched her), and he was so little I was nervous! Seeing my mom, the old pro she is, give my baby his first bath using that nostalgic smelling soap was beyond precious. Let me break down how baths work around here...
My mom always encourages sink baths because they’re just the right size for a baby, it saves your back from bending over a tub, and it’s super easy clean-up.
Bring the water to a lukewarm temperature so as not to scald sweet baby skin or frighten them with hot water, and fill the sink with just enough water to comfortably cover them.
Then, she taught me to wrap baby in a thin receiving blanket to keep him contained and give you a better grip as you bathe him.
Slowly lower their wrapped little body into the water, allowing them to adjust to the temperature and feel as you lower.
Unwrap one arm, and gently wash that shoulder, arm, chest, and neck (get in those rolls!) using JOHNSON’S® Head-To-Toe Baby Wash on your fingers. Make it a calm, quiet environment. I typically dim the lights and put on some calming music. Also, I’d just like to mention how awesome it is to have a pump on the bottle. With one arm holding Silas, that little feature makes a huge difference.
Re-wrap that arm, and do the same on the other.
Then move onto the hair, gently massaging the scalp and getting behind those little ears. Rinse gently.
Using a soft washcloth, I wet it and get just a drop of soap lathered in before gently wiping baby’s face, and then going over it once more so as not to leave any soap behind.
Then I move onto those little leg nooks and crannies, private areas, and in between his little toes.
Lastly, I carefully drape his arms over my arm, and get him crouched on his knees while I clean his back and bottom.
He spends a few minutes playing, splashing, and kicking and then I wrap him up in his towel and bring him to the nursery.
This is my favorite part…
On his changing table, I make sure he's nice and dry and we giggle and smile all the while. We get his diaper on and then do a relaxing baby massage using JOHNSON’S® Bedtime Lotion. Again, the smell is just so sweet and calming - it's that perfect baby smell! He happily lets me work from legs, to tummy, arms, and back while we listen to soothing music and smile. This lotion is enhanced with relaxing Naturalcalm aromas to help soothe baby before bed. It’s specially designed for babies who are ready to start sleeping longer.
Finally, I use the JOHNSON’S® COTTONTOUCH™ Newborn Face and Body Lotion on his sweet face and top it all off with some kisses on that baby soft skin.
If you haven't checked out JOHNSON’S® products lately, I encourage you to do so. They are new and improved - inside and out, 100% gentle, free of parabens, phthalates, dye free, sulfate free, and worry free. Even with all their new improvements (50% fewer ingredients!), they still take me back to those little baby days of my nieces and nephews. It’s so precious to use those same products now on my own baby, and it fills me up to see him adore bathtime.
I picked up my JOHNSON’S® products at CVS because it's so convenient. Isn't there always a CVS planted right where you need one?! Right now you can save so much - Buy 1, Get 1 50% on JOHNSON’S® Baby + Spend $20, Get $5 ExtraBucks. You can buy your baby's entire bath time and bedtime hygiene routine and save! Win-win! Plus, I always seem to find something else there that I’m in need of at home, so I’m grateful they also serve as a one stop shop for all sorts of needs! You can check out all their JOHNSON’S® products here: JOHNSON’S® at CVS.
How do you do bathtime at your house? Did your mom/grandma/sister/friend teach you any helpful tips to make the transition from bathtime to bedtime a cinch? Did your mom use JOHNSON’S®? I’d love to hear your stories!
What Marriage Looks Like With A Baby
Before our son came into the world, my husband and I lived married and childless for five years. As perhaps you've read, that wasn't exactly our plan…
Before our son came into the world, my husband and I lived married and childless for five years. As perhaps you've read, that wasn't exactly our plan, but it was God's. The timing ended up (per usual) being just right, and we are now overjoyed to have our little boy, especially with all the waiting and sadness we had to endure in the years leading up to his arrival.
To be honest, sometimes I wonder if it's our particular set of experiences that have made the transition to "married with kids" a little sweeter for us. When you're newlyweds or just married without kids you hear so much of the typical, "Enjoy this time! You won't be able to do (fill in the blank with just about ANYTHING) once kids come along!" Sure, some of these comments are well-meaning. They come from people who might see you in a stage of life that is so far behind them, that they think back on it admiringly. But just like my most popular marriage post (read it here), the amount of wompy comments you hear before bringing a child into the world is sort of dismal.
We're nearly four months into this whole parenting thing, and we're still pretty sleep deprived. Don't get me wrong - it's hard! But good grief are we happy. A full night of sleep versus "having" to snuggle a little boy to sleep who is the spitting image of the guy I'm in love with, is not such a terrible trade off. But I suppose if you're curious, I'll lay out for you what marriage looks like now, post baby...
It looks like two bleary-eyed 20-somethings who DO sometimes miss their sleep and wonder if they appreciated it enough in years past.
It looks like sharing the responsibilities of caring for a little human. Giving one another breaks from the pressure of caring for a baby 24/7. Championing wake and nap time so momma can shower in the evening, or so someone can cook dinner, or just plain spend time doing nothing at all.
It looks like a husband, who really did not have any idea what a newborn is like. That they don't really acknowledge you, and basically just emit cries for needs that you seemingly cannot meet (ie. feeding)... until the day that little alien actually DOES acknowledge him and he melts into a puddle.
It looks like two people who both slightly mourn the answer to the question, "Wanna have some fun tonight?" ...while the other tilts their head and yawns (hahaha)
It looks like a husband who finds new ways to contribute to caring for his child, by caring for his wife with big breakfasts and heaps of coffee at her bedside. EVERY morning.
It looks like a wife who musters up the time and energy at the end of a long day of shushing, rocking, feeding, cleaning, bouncing, shopping, dog duties, and everything else, to nuzzle up to her husband and scratch his back and talk all about him instead of the baby.
It looks like new versions of the same people. The excitement in meeting the "dad" or "mom" version of your spouse.
It looks like bonding over yet another beautiful thing. Only this time, it's 100x greater than your bond over food, wine, furniture, sense of humor, or whatever else.
It looks like grace being doled out when schedules get messed up or things get overlooked.
It looks like teamwork just to get through another sleepless night.
It looks like two parents who, when morning breaks, forget the frustration of the night before when two eyes that look like daddy's gaze up at you admiringly, and two perfect lips that look like mommy's curl up into a massive smile to greet the day. The troubles of the night just melt away in a matter of seconds.
It looks like a heart that was full, has somehow expanded for this precious new person. As if you clearly must have been the Grinch before this moment.
It sounds like a lot of "Well, we can't do that at 5:00, because that lines up with a feed, and then he needs a bath, and..."
It looks like cancelled plans and "Sorry, we had a rough night. We won't make it."
It looks like burp cloths in every room, baby toys and gadgets strewn across the house, and the smell of spit-up on your clothes. Gone are the days of freshly dusted surfaces and matching decor... at least for this season in life.
It looks like early mornings and long nights, but short weeks and months.
It looks like pride in seeing your baby grabbing toys, have healthy poops, roll over, laugh for the first time, talk in gibberish, learn to sit-up, stand-up, walk, etc... because YOU get to be the ones who witness it.
It looks like a date night on the couch when baby is down for bed, but with a video monitor on the coffee table next to the glass of wine and bowl of ice cream... while you pass out watching the monitor instead of the movie.
It looks like fun weekends exploring new places as a family, instead of as a couple. Finally.
It looks like a knowing smile at one another that says, "I'm glad this is us now" as you watch other families enjoy a day. Because that glance between you used to communicate sadness and pain... wishing it was you with the baby.
It looks like baby snuggles and the way your spouse looks at you while you hold their child.
It looks like ... happiness, contentedness, peace, and love.
Marriage with a baby looks like love extended. It looks like God's most precious gift. It is without a doubt, the happiest time in our marriage thus far. We're more tired than we've ever been, but we also feel more blessed than ever before.
It has been such a privilege to meet this new version of Tom. I love this post by someone I follow on Instagram (who posts awesome, convicted wisdom). He is talking about his wife, but I think the same sentiments can be said for either spouse:
Parenthood is something we are both so excited to be a part of. It has opened us up to not only the obvious love we have for Silas, but a new and deeper love for one another.
Don't be afraid when it's your turn, friends. You might get the jitters in the final weeks of pregnancy when the reality hits you that life will never be the same again... but take it from me, in no time at all, you won't be able to imagine life without your baby in it. Your "old" life is there, but something wonderful is simply being added to it.
And believe me, nothing will make you fall more in love with your spouse, than seeing them as a parent to your child.
Marriage after a baby?
...it looks a lot like a family.
Silas's Birth Story
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
Oh sweet son. The day you were born was tiring and beautiful and filled with more love than your dad and I could contain. Let me tell you how it happened.
At home
For weeks I kept saying I was going to make all these meals ahead of your birth so we wouldn't have to cook for a long, long time after you arrived. Well, I took my time. It was a tough job, okay? And you were making my body so achey and heavy, and standing in the kitchen did not sound appealing.
But I knew it would be such a nice thing to have on hand so that your dad and I could just focus on getting used to taking care of you and staring at you all day. So when I was 38 weeks pregnant, I started making meals and freezing them.
I was so tired. My back was achey, I was peeing every ten minutes, and my ankles were swollen. When I dropped something, I rarely bothered to pick it up because my belly was so big and cumbersome. And sleep. What sleep? It seemed to have vanished!
When I was 39 weeks and one day, on a Saturday, your dad was helping me make the very last meal (Michigan pasties) for the freezer. I was exhausted after making probably fifteen or so of these little meat pies, so while your dad cleaned up, I went to lay down for a short rest. After a while, he came back to our bedroom to check on me and talk for a minute.
"I'm so ready to be done, now. I want him out! Why can't he just get the hint and come a little early?" I said to dad.
He smiled at me, leaned down to my belly, right where your head was, and said to you, "Hey. Your momma is tired. It's time for you to come out now. Come out of your womb!"
I laughed, and he left to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Five minutes later, at about 5pm, I was still laying there in bed when I felt you kick, along with a strange pop.
Did my water just break?? I thought.
I stood up, and nothing happened.
I walked to the bathroom and pulled down my pants to see if my underwear were wet. Just as I pulled them down... SPLASH! I leapt onto the toilet and called your dad to come back there. Water was pouring out, and I shouted excitedly, "My water definitely just broke!"
Your dad, try as he might, was not very calm. I was shaking with excitement, and I think it took us both by surprise! We figured you'd stay in there for another week or two, so the fact that you listened to your old man already was a bit of a shock!
At the time, your Grandma and Grandpa Andreasen were on their way to the Carolina coast where they were going to stay until you were on the way. I called your grandma and told her to turn around and head back to Tennessee.
Then I called the doctor to ask for directions. They said I could stay home until my contractions got close, but I could go in now if I wanted. Since it wasn't a big rush, I decided to take a shower while your dad went out to get us some dinner and get the house picked up and Hondo's things ready for the neighbor.
After my shower, fluid was still pouring out, and my contractions started quickly and were about three minutes apart. I told your dad not to panic, but I thought he better hurry so we could leave. At the very least, I wanted to get checked. By the time we got to the hospital, I was having a harder time talking through my contractions. It happened so fast!
In the hospital
They admitted me into the hospital and checked me into my room. After laboring for about six hours, I asked for an epidural. I was only two centimeters dilated and 75% effaced, but you were sunny side up and every contraction was in my back... ONLY in my back and it hurt me sooooo much! I knew I'd never get any rest or relief while I continued to dilate if I had to feel all those contractions, so I was very grateful for the epidural.
Unfortunately, the epidural slowed down my contractions a bit, and I wasn't dilating very quickly. Not only that, but you didn't care for those contractions and with each one, your heart rate dipped too low, but came back up to pace when it ended. The doctors and nurses didn't like that (and neither did I), so all night long, every few minutes, a nurse came to my room to move me into different positions to see if it would make you more comfortable in there.
All the while, each contraction was pushing out lots and lots of fluid. From the very beginning I mentioned this to the staff because I thought it seemed like too much and by now you couldn't possibly have much fluid in there. After a long time, they finally agreed and they fed a line up to my uterus to pump more fluid in there for you to have a bit more of a cushion. Maybe that way you'd tolerate the contractions a little better.
All night I was moved around and we tried and tried to get you in a position to move things along a little more quickly while keeping you stable.
Early in the morning, my doctor came to check on me. It was Mother's Day! May 13, 2018. I was only about five centimeters at this point, no more effaced than I had been before, and your head was not engaged. We were all still worried about you, because your heart rate was still getting too low with each contraction.
We decided we'd try one more thing, and if it didn't work, I'd need to have a C-section to get you out of there. We had the anesthesiologist come in and turn my epidural way down, and they gave me the tiniest amount of pitocin. For another three hours, we waited. I felt all those horrible back contractions again. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and I hadn't slept hardly at all. I was exhausted and in so much pain. After those three hours, I dilated to seven, but you were getting more and more distressed. Since I hadn't reached ten centimeters by that point, I hadn't effaced further, and you still weren't engaged, my doctor advised that a C-section would now be the safest alternative for both of us. Silly boy! You didn't even give your momma a chance to push you out!
In minutes, new people entered my room, and we got ready for surgery. Your dad had to put on some scrubs, and I was wheeled to surgery.
The room was cold, but all the people were happy, calming, and kind. They covered me in warm blankets, and a man was counting out loud. What I realized later, is that it was a count of all the tools and gauze that would be available to my doctor, and after surgery, they counted it all again to make sure nothing got left inside of me! Ahh!
When surgery was about to begin, they let your dad come in and he sat next to me and held my hand. I was SO tired! I could barely stay awake, but I was excited to FINALLY meet you! It only took a few minutes, and when you came out, you immediately peed all over everyone! You were so big at 8lbs 4oz. and my doctor said she was quite sure you wouldn't have fit through the canal anyways. Your cord was around your neck, and that was probably getting squeezed even tighter with each contraction. Some babies aren't in danger with the cord around their necks, but some are, so it was good we got you out when we did.
You were so purple, and while they cleaned and weighed you, your dad stood by and watched. We both cried such tears of joy at finally meeting you, Silas. What an awesome first Mother's Day!
Shortly after they had you cleaned up and made sure you were breathing fine, they laid you on my chest, and we just stared at each other. You were the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I just soaked you in. Your nose, your eyes that slowly blinked open and closed, and your perfect little mouth. You had all this silky soft, fuzzy, dark hair that stood straight up. One of the nurses called you "hedgehog hair" and I loved that.
While I held you, they closed me up and my surgery was over! My doctor did such a wonderful job from beginning to end and I'm so grateful she got you here safely. For an hour, we were left alone in a recovery room and I nursed you for the first time. Your papa spent time holding you skin to skin, and that hour was so special and quiet. Just us, quietly talking and taking you in.
Oh my little boy. You changed our whole world that day. We waited so long to hold you, and God brought you into our life at just the right time. What a blessing you are, Silas Benedict - you made us parents!
Our Favorite Products for the Newborn Phase
I know, I know - my content is very baby focused these days. We're really in the thick of this "new parent" thing, lately, and we're discovering what works for us…
I know, I know - my content is very baby focused these days. We're really in the thick of this "new parent" thing, lately, and we're discovering what works for us and what doesn't, so along the way I'm taking note of what's been particularly helpful in terms of products.
To be honest, when we started looking for baby stuff, I was super overwhelmed with the amount of products out there. Seriously... there has to be at least a gazillion different carseats! I had to do a lot of sifting through to find what was necessary, minimalist, and useful. I've been pleasantly surprised by some of the new products on the market! I say "new products" because I think I had in my mind that I'd use the same things my parents or my older siblings used for their kids. But some of the latest products are pretty amazing!
In this post I'm simply going to list off all the products we've found to be worth mentioning and why in this 4th Trimester (as they call it.. for good reason). The prices vary from a few bucks, to a little more expensive, but they all have a place in our home during these first months, so maybe you'll find them to be helpful in your home too!
I'll link all these products at the bottom of the post, so if you want to skip my commentary, scroll on down.
1. LugBug Carseat Handle
This was one of those serendipitous blogging moments. Tom and I had been talking about how ergonomically awkward carseat handles are, and I kid you not, two days later LugBug reached out to me asking if I'd like to try their carseat handle and share it with you. This is a game-changer, guys! It's simple, but totally solved the carseat handle dilemma in seconds. Since, I'm short (5'1"), it doesn't help me a whole lot because it makes the distance from the carseat to the ground a bit close (just being honest), but Tom is our carseat-carrier, so it's perfect for him! He loved it immediately.
2. Carseat Fan
Silas (like a lot of babies) is such a little furnace. Plus, Nashville gets super hot in the summer, so to help keep his temperature regulated, I picked up one of these fans on Amazon. It's been SO helpful and a lot of older people stop us and comment on what a smart thing that is to have. It's rechargeable, has a controllable blade speed, it rotates in any direction, and clips on easily to his seat. As a bonus, the sound of it soothes him!
3. Calmoseptine Ointment (for diaper rash)
A nurse friend gave me this stuff and it's a miracle worker. Seriously. Clears up diaper rash or irritation super fast.
4. Diaper station
I like these wood cubbies because I can move them around however I need. They could even get screwed onto the wall and used for a different purpose later on. Multi-functional and nice looking!
5. DockATot
Read my review on it here. Pictured above. We love this thing and use it all day and night. It's worth the price, people. Our baby lovessss this thing.
6. Diaper changing mats
They are just cheap, waterproof, machine washable mats that save you from having to wash your changing pad covers all the time. Believe me, you'll run into some messes and be glad you had one!
7. Sleepers with bottom zipper
Target carries footie pajama sleepers (Cloud Island brand) that have the zipper connect at the neck so that to unzip, you start at the feet. It makes diaper changes much easier.
8. Freezer meals
Okay, not really a baby product, but I'm extremely happy we made so many freezer meals before Silas arrived. We have yet to actually cook something for dinner, and Silas is inching towards two months old! We finished our freezer meals MINUTES before my water broke. Talk about timing! I put them off a little longer than I should have - haha
9. Water bottle
Breastfeeding or not, I'm so glad I have a big water bottle with a straw. It's with me everywhere I go and reminds me to stay hydrated. Since I do happen to be breastfeeding, I get parched pretty fast, so it's important to always be sipping some water.
10. Coconut oil
In the hospital, they gave me some olive oil to use on my nipples for breastfeeding, and while it's good, it's obviously super liquid-y and it's sort of annoying if you drip any. Coconut oil has been amazing for chapped or dry nipples, but also for Silas's chapped lips! Bonus that it's a natural remedy (and has that hint of coconut smell)!
11. Netflix
Need I say more? Feedings happen a LOT at this stage, and sometimes it gets pretty boring to just sit there with only one arm free. Netflix (or other streaming services) have been a must.
12. Moses basket and rocking stand
Not only is it aesthetically really cute, this set has been amazingggg at night. The height of the basket is right up to the edge of the bed which made it so much easier to grab him in the night while recovering from surgery. At this point, he does all his sleeping in it, and being able to soothe him with a little rocking motion is really nice.
13. Touch lamp
Such a lifesaver next to his changing station. When your hands are full, being able to tap the lamp super quick is really helpful.
14. Lorena Canals blanket
Tom wanted me to mention this one specifically from his opinion. He's pretty picky about blankets, because he really likes a good heavy blanket for weight and warmth. This one from Lorena Canals is woven/knit. He's normally not a fan of those types of blankets because they tend to be too breathable, but he said he loves this one. It's the only blanket like that, that he honestly sleeps under really comfortably. Plus it's plenty long (he's 6'4") so he can cozy up under it, and rock Silas (and himself) to sleep with ease. We both love having an adult sized blanket for the nursery, and it never leaves the chair. It's also machine washable, eco friendly with natural dyes, and handmade. It's absolutely beautiful and gets BOTH Tom and my stamp of approval for being a great nursery asset! Lorena Canals also carries other home and children's room pieces, including machine washable rugs. Isn't that amazing?? They have these really gorgeous rugs that you can actually wash! Anyways, like I always say, I'd never tell you guys something was great if I didn't truly think so, and this blanket is no exception. I weirdly look forward to using it every chance I get :) This blanket was sent to me courtesy of Lorena Canals.
15. IKEA baby gym
You know me, miss minimalist! I like this baby gym because it's soft, simple, but still has tastefully colorful toys. There are also cute little tee-pee style wood set baby gyms, but for once I decided to go with something more colorful, yet still minimal. The bottom is well padded, which is also really nice. It easily folds up and can be put away when not in use. Plus, it's on the cheaper side of most baby gyms at only $30.
16. Muslin blankets
We've used these light blankets for just about everything. They've caught spit up, been used as swaddles, been used as a nursing cover, a blanket to hold Silas in the bath, and more. They're an awesome multi-purpose product, and I'm glad we got so many as gifts!
17. Diaper backpack
I'm honestly not one for big totes, so way before Silas came along, I knew a backpack would be the best route. Plus, Tom doesn't look weird carrying it. The one we have is meant for use as a diaper bag, so the compartments are perfect - I love this thing! Plus, you can't beat the price.
18. Dapple bottle soap
Seems unnecessary, but one of my friends suggested this soap and I have to say it's actually really nice. Cleaning breastmilk or formula out of bottles can be difficult as they sometimes leave a film. This soap has left all my breast pump parts sparkling clean with just a quick wash.
19. Small dish basin
Haha okay. My mom made me steal this from the hospital and I was really embarrassed about it, but she swore I'd use it all the time.... and as moms usually are, she was right! I use it for washing all the bottles, pumping parts, etc... It's been a really handy little thing! It's smaller than most dishwashing basins, but that's what's particularly nice about it. It's cheap and flimsy, so just steal one from the hospital, otherwise I linked what looks like the exact same one below.
20. Nose Frida
Yup. It's true. This dang thing is everything people crack it up to be. It's a million times better than the bulbs, and believe me when I say I'm a HUGE skeptic about most popular things. Worth every.single.penny.
I know there are plenty more products we love right now, and will love in the future depending on Silas's age/stage... but these are our current favorites. Scroll on down, and I'll link them below!
