Nashville, TN
Usually, when I do posts on my travels, I itemize each day's itinerary. Check out our trips to San Antonio and The Blue Ridge Mountains and you'll see what I mean.
That being said, Nashville was its own kind of crazy and I decided it was more worthy of a story.
As many of our trips stem from, this trip was business for Thomas. He had a conference to attend, and being the tag along that I am, forced my way onto the itinerary.
*That is a complete an utter lie. Tom loves when I come along and it's almost always his idea*
Since we're geniuses, we stayed in the world's most comfortable, adorable Airbnb. Here's the listing. It looked exactly like the photos, but even better. If I'm being honest, Nashville is actually rather saturated in amazing Airbnb's. I'm not sure why anyone would bother with a hotel in Music City... but I digress.
It was located in East Nashville, and was above their detached garage. We had a parking spot, private entry, and full amenities in the most perfect studio. Both of us remarked that it weirdly smelled and felt like home which we loved, and would have made a super cute first apartment. Our host was amazing, and I had a nice chat with her one morning while she was in the back yard with their two friendly dogs. She pointed me in the direction of good food, coffee, and bars (many of which in walking distance). She was a total delight and so sweet! We would highly recommend staying there.
Nashville is my definition of a perfect, small-town city. You can walk to so many corner coffee shops (none of which are Starbucks) and drive from one end of town to the other in about twenty minutes. I desperately miss living in a city with soul, I'll admit. Being in Nashville felt very natural to me... who knows, maybe we'll find ourselves there next!
We had some awesome meals which included Burger Up, Mas Tacos Por Favor, Taco Mamacita, and Lockeland Table. My favorite meal was honestly from Mas Tacos Por Favor - super yummy street tacos. Done and done.
For coffee, I walked to Portland Brew and Barista Parlor and drove to Eighth and Roast. Each of these was awesome in totally different ways. Portland Brew was great for working and spending the day in, as it had tons of space. Plus, I met up with a college buddy there who writes as well - Tanner from Written to Speak - he's really, really awesome guys. He writes about some seriously tough stuff and the encouragement I walked away with was amazing. Barista Parlor was crazy hipster and they were not shy about their snobbiness in regards to coffee... and I love me some coffee snobs, so it was a win-win. And Eighth and Roast... well, let's just say I happened to have my morning joe with the lead singer of one of my favorite bands like it was NBD while I was secretly freaking out on the inside. No, I did not take creeper photos, but I was certainly tempted to. We had a nice, casual chat for about a half hour or so and he was very kind. Here's a not so subtle hint as to who it was:
While there, we had a little mini reunion of sorts with a some friends from college. Tanner, as I mentioned before, was my coffee buddy for two of the mornings and I grabbed dinner with my friend Anna and then drinks afterwards with all four of us at a bar called Old Glory which was super cool, weird, and dark. For a Tuesday night, it was pretty busy and our poor bartender was taking breaks at our table - haha - like literally sitting in our booth talking with us to catch a breath. We had such a blast catching up, talking about serious things, and joking about anything and everything. However, even the slightest of hangovers doesn't bode well with our no-longer-21-year-old selves and we were draggingggg the next day.
Since Tom was in conferences everyday until dinner, I spent my days walking to coffee shops to work, hanging out in the Airbnb to work, and doing a little exploring of the city. My exploring kind of halted when I got into a car accident - which was my fault and thankfully no one was hurt - but it shook me up enough to want to leave my keys tucked out of sight for the rest of the trip. This idea was short lived, because Tom forgot his conference lanyard the very next morning and I had to rush it down to him, but it was worth a shot. My car was amazingly left (mostly) unscathed, but the other guy lost his front bumper. He was gracious, but that's probably because I apologized profusely while hyperventilating and took full blame. We all admitted it was an honest accident, though, and it was very civil and calm. Later that night, since I was just on a roll with life, my phone slipped out of my purse pocket a mere FOUR inches to the ground and cracked the screen. LOVELY.
Between meeting singers, getting in car wrecks, and breaking phones... our trip to Nashville was one to remember. The friends, culture, sights, food, coffee (bless you, Nashville, for having wonderful coffee), and accommodations truly left us itching to come back/we're kind of in love with the city. Visit Nashville guys. Click the photos to enlarge. Enjoy!
Have any questions about anything from our trip? I'd be glad to answer them!
Oh, and here's a $20 Airbnb credit.
To the person rolling their eyes because I'm on my phone:
There's a few things you should know.
Yes, there is a sad reality between technology and disconnectedness.
But you see, you're only looking at one side of the coin. My generation, though more engaged and "connected" than any generation before, is actually fighting the disease of time-wasting in front of screens. I am in a portion of this millennial generation who did in fact have to memorize my friends' home phone numbers (and their parents always answered the phone first) and spent all my summers outside. I rode my bike to my grocery store job when I was fifteen, and my parents never paid for my gas in high school. I even know how to write in cursive. Believe it or not, we don't like what society has become. You see all these new tools and gadgets and apps, and you shake your head in disgust that we are a generation immersed and obsessed with such products.
Some parents chalk technology and social media up as "stupid, time-wasting, and fake." That may be true when it's not used responsibly as a tool and a privilege. Sadly, by removing themselves from understanding it, and refusing to take part, their young children will never learn the safe and proper ways to use it. Their young children will be exposed to horrible images and bad websites, and inappropriate text messages that their parents will never know about. When these parents do learn about the things their children have been exposed to, they'll call it a stupid waste of time instead of learning how to teach their child the responsibility these devices come with.
By not understanding, yet using some of this technology yourself, you're falling into the thinking that you're not "one of us." But you use it too. And honestly, you don't use it well. You need to ask for help from us and we're willing to offer our assistance. We want to help you understand, save time, and ‘look up’ as much as possible, because that’s exactly what some of these new tools are reminding us to do.
Very few of the people you roll your eyes at have ever received a virus on their devices, because they know the difference between a safe link and an unsafe one. They know the apps that children shouldn’t use and how children can hide things from their parents… and we’re willing to teach you these things too, if only you’d stop rolling your eyes.
The next time you roll your eyes at me and others, consider a few things:
When you roll your eyes at my husband and I as we look at our screens side by side, you don't realize that we're comparing calendars to plan a camping trip for our anniversary.
When you roll your eyes the minute we pull our phones from our pockets, you don't realize my family that lives across the world just sent us an album of their most recent adventures.
When you roll your eyes because I've stared at my phone for ten minutes straight, you don't realize it's because I get to watch my niece's recital that I would otherwise not have had the chance to see myself.
When you roll your eyes because you think I don't make real connections online, you don't realize it was through those connections online that I met my real life friends who I see frequently and share my life with.
When you roll your eyes because I can't experience anything without taking a photo, you don't realize that those photos are creating an incredible, visual memoir of my life. Something that used to require an expensive camera and photo developing, is now less intrusive and cannot be lost or ruined.
When you roll your eyes because our work is so screen based, you don't realize it's because of those screens that we can work from home (or wherever we like) and actually spend more time together than apart. Our work fits around our life instead of the other way around.
When you roll your eyes... but then ask me to help you... do you see the message you're giving?
We've seen life with less technology, and life totally immersed in it. We see the benefits and the damage. We are learning how to use it constructively, but so many others use it to waste their time… including you.
Here's the thing.
You roll your eyes, but you don't see how it impacts the world in such positive ways. You don't realize that the people you're rolling your eyes at don't waste their time on Candy Crush and Facebook as much as you think.
It's because of technology I could design my own kitchen, order it, and actually build it with my own hands instead of having the work done for me. It’s because of technology, my husband can get the right item from the store the first time instead of having to make several trips. It’s because of technology that we haven’t stayed in a hotel for ages because we stay on the property of actual people, hear their stories, and make real connections (I’m talking about Airbnb).
Please person, do not misunderstand me. I know that the term “connected” has a different, and sometimes very “disconnected” meaning anymore. I know that the world online lacks the tangible beauty of the world around me. I know that it’s the simple moments, met with conversations and “disconnectedness” that truly make up this life. I know I have a lot of practicing-what-I-preach to work on. And I know you think it’s stupid. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because you haven’t seen the best of it yet. Maybe you’re using it wrong, so you think I am too.
But maybe, if you’d stop rolling your eyes, you’d notice what I do beyond my screens. You’d see a Christian who tries her darndest to share Christ’s love and encourage others. You’d see a faithful, devoted wife who prioritizes her husband to the best of her ability. You’d see a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend to countless wonderful humans. You’d see a person who loves animals and children and all things lively and bright. You’d see a hard worker who hopes and dreams and prays for the well-being of those around her. You’d see a person who cares, listens, laughs, and teases. You'd see someone who actually advocates for going "screen-free" as often as possible. In the same way that we choose to love one another, you can choose to see me in a light overshadowed by a screen-immersed world. But I sincerely hope that before you roll your eyes, dear person, you remember to show grace and humility instead.
And sure, I’d be glad to help you store your photos somewhere you won’t lose them.
Cancun, Mexico
Almost three short years ago, less than 24 hours after we said our vows, Tom and I landed in Cancun, Mexico for a weeklong honeymoon.
Our time there was, blissful, in a word... and today I thought I'd give you all a peek down memory lane.
Tom and I didn't live together before getting married, so spending a week waking up to each other, getting ready together, and *ahem* other things... felt beautifully earned. We drank and ate all the things. We took a ton of photos. We watched the sun set and rise over the ocean. We read. Talked. Laughed a ton. And shamelessly people watched. It's a week I would never trade for anything... and to think... we almost skimped and decided to go a really lame route! (I talked Tom into the Cancun route and he still thanks me). We loved our resort and the overall ease of the trip and hope to take a vacation like it again sometime soon! .....after we renovate our kitchen....
Things to note about this trip:
- We drank about 100 chunky money's collectively.
- I contracted a horrible canker sore (we think?) on the back of my throat and we took pictures of it growing all week... and it promptly disappeared upon arriving home. It was terribly painful and made eating very difficult. To the point that Tom started soaking my tortilla chips in salsa before handing them over to me to eat. Hahahaha... we laughed about this a lot.
- I found out that I love papaya.
- Tom got burned to a crisp on the first day, so we had to find areas where we could sit side by side - him in the shade, me in the sun :)
- One of the bartenders created a coffee with some sort of peanut butter creamer and we have been trying to duplicate it ever since. Best. EVER.
- We love all inclusive resorts now.
- Eating breakfast while overlooking the ocean is my favorite.
- Rooftop views of the ocean are something of dreams.
- As we were descending into Cancun, Tom's passport went missing. The woman next to us was so kind to try and help us search through all our bags. I was fully prepared to leave him behind. ... but thankfully, I found it between the seat and airplane wall. You can guess who got passport duty after that!
- By the pool, they had a buffet for in between lunch and dinner. Again, the things of dreams, people.
- Room service and eating in a king sized bed.
- Drinking alcohol at anytime of day.
- Watching the awesome Greek family and their shenanigans. They joined in with the dancing entertainment and it was wonderful.
- The nicest employees. So soooo nice.
Where we stayed: GR Caribe Deluxe. It was tastefully decorated in a Moroccan theme. The nice thing was that you also had access to its 'sister resort' next door and could eat there as well. But their guests couldn't use ours :) We truly had such an incredible time and really got to know the staff and waiters who went above and beyond.
It's so fun to look back and reminisce about this trip. Where did you/would you honeymoon?
IKEA Kitchen Planning
If you've ever done a kitchen renovation, you know about the researching, measuring, remeasuring, re-researching, and choices, choices, choices. It's stressful and time consuming, and there are about a million paths you can take based on style, function, and price. If you haven't been through this process, then you've come to a great place.
After looking at the options at Home Depot, Lowes, and IKEA, we've narrowed it down to IKEA. Partially because one of their famous kitchen sales will be starting March 4 - April 17 of this year. The deal is, you have to spend at least $4,000 in order to receive their generous 15% return in the form of a giftcard. That's at least $600 you'll get back for purchasing through them which is about the cost of some appliances.
Regardless of their sale, IKEA also has a 25 year warranty on their kitchens as well as a surprising reputation for quality. Like many people, you may think of IKEA's products as the ones that fall apart after a year of use... but not so with their kitchens. My parents built a house in 2007 and installed a stunning IKEA kitchen that looks practically new to this day. While they were visiting us last week, we asked for their advice on the IKEA front and they whole-heartedly gave their support for it. Especially in a house of our size and price range - it just makes sense.
By using their kitchen planner tool, you can add in all the dimensions of your space, floors, paint colors, correct placement of doors and windows, and even add weird additional structures that your particular space may have. It's a little slow and frustrating sometimes, but you learn how to navigate it well over time.
Our current kitchen has a very awkward layout. The kind of layout you look at and go, "What were these builders thinking? Look at all the wasted space and lack of storage..."
Tom and I love open concept homes (said every HGTV guest ever) and our downstairs has the potential to embody that so well. It just means we need to remove a wall and a pantry and move a fridge. Oh, and add about 3x more storage and about 35 more linear feet of countertops.
Here's the current state of things:
Yeah. It's a cluster. And it's a pain in the butt to function in... just ask the goose egg that's on my head from when I nailed my head on an open cabinet and then wept like a baby on my mother's shoulder.
But here's our plan:
- Remove the wall between the living room and kitchen. So as to scoot the kitchen into the living room just a smidge and open the space.
- Remove the current pantry and put the fridge in its place.
- Smooth the ceilings throughout.
- Paint the walls.
By doing all those things, we can have a space that looks like this:
LOOK AT ALL THE COUNTER SPACE.
I actually made a mock-up of the entire downstairs because we actually own that sectional, table, chairs, and bench... so you guys are seeing the big picture! We wouldn't probably install those built-ins next to the fireplace just yet, but it'll stay in the plans for the future - we just aren't totally sold on them yet.
We love this layout because we aren't sacrificing our pantry, and will instead replace it with one that has drawers (praise Jesus).
Also, you'll notice the half-wall between the rooms. This will serve as a minor separation and something to install outlets on for the kitchen.
We decided to leave the stove where it is so that we don't have to move the gas line, but it'll scoot about five inches to the left of its current position.
Small adjustments will still be made, like adding pendant lights over the long counter and possibly some open shelving above the dishwasher, or a slight change in the drawer combinations of the base cabinets. But overall, the size and dimensions are pretty much set in stone!
We're ecstatic to be moving forward in this process and we'll be sure to keep you all updated as we go along. In the meantime, what do you think?
Considering doing an IKEA kitchen remodel or wondering about something you see in the photos? We'd love to answer any questions you may have :) Feel free to contact us.
The Indian Family Kitchen | by Anjali Pathak
When Tom and I moved to Atlanta a year and a half ago, we had never tried Indian food. We had been serious foodies in Milwaukee, but as a less diverse city, Milwaukee didn't give us a lot of ethnic options. Clearly, we were missing out. We've now found our "go-to" Indian restaurant that we try to frequent, but it's about a 40 minute drive from where we live now.
Given the opportunity to review this cookbook was a welcome privilege. Since we can't visit our favorite Indian locale as easily anymore, this cookbook has brought out the chef in us. We're both naturally inclined to cook as it's something we enjoy, but we also love a challenge. After trying Indian food, we realized we were missing out on a great plethora of flavors -- this cookbook teaches you how to use and master those unfamiliar spices. Reading through each recipe and admiring its beautiful photography helped us realize we're perfectly capable of mastering the Indian cuisine right in our own home.
From whole roasted salmon with coconut and dill, to cumin roast potatoes, to pecan muffins with saffron cream... this beautiful Indian cookbook is, without a doubt, a book to cherish.
Anjali includes helpful secrets to go along with many of her recipes, as well as pages dedicated to her family history. It truly is more than a cookbook, but almost a memoir of an Indian family and the love and tradition they pour into their food. Her recipes are the same classics enriched with new techniques or ingredients. You can read more about Anjali Pathak here.
There is something for everyone in The Indian Family Kitchen. Recipes for beginners and intermediate cooks, meat-lovers and vegetarians, sweet tooths and health conscious persons, and everyone in between. I must say with honesty, keeping a large library of cookbooks is not of interest to me. They take up space and are generally not used. However, I'm convinced that a more ethnic cookbook holds more value in this respect, as it offers more than just recipes, but valuable information about the ingredients and techniques I don't have a natural understanding of. (Click here for a peek inside)
In our excitement to put this book to use, we tried one of the simpler recipes for Valentine's day. The Pomegranate & Ricotta Frozen Yogurt was simple, and in a word... perfection. It called for ingredients I would never mesh together and created such a harmonious dessert, we have already begun the process of a second batch. It was tangy, not overly sweet, creamy, and (seriously) addicting. The drawback was the fact that finding pomegranate molasses was nearly impossible... but we hunted some down before the day was out!
Isn't this book just stunning? Not only are the recipes mouthwateringly irresistible, it makes a gorgeous coffee table book. So happy to have this one in our collection.
For the sake of transparency with my readers, I will always tell you when I've received something for a discounted price (or free) or could potentially receive a commission off a purchase made through one of my links. Thank you for understanding the benefits these sponsorships bring to your favorite bloggers!
I received this book from Blogging for Books for this honest review.
Question: What kind of range is best?
I can't resist a little Office humor.
Here's the dealio.
We're hoping to renovate our kitchen sometime this year and it's going to need all new appliances as well. The fridge has already been chosen, but the range (and we are for sure getting a range) has been of recent discussion lately.
I grew up with electric coils and have never had an issue. Since I learned how to cook on them, the issue of "control" has never bothered me that much and I got used to it. After we got married our apartments used electric coils - still used to it, still not a big deal. When we got our house, though, it came with a gas stove - much to Tom's delight. I had heard him speak highly of gas and the ability to control the temp more easily, so I was looking forward to trying it myself and was honestly convinced I'd love it. We love to cook, so having gas was pretty exciting (searing over electric coils isn't the best... things like that). Sadly, I really do hate to admit it: I hate our gas stove!
Years ago, we made an agreement that I would eventually get the final say on a fridge, and Tom would have the final say on a range. We would take each other's thoughts into account, but it would ultimately be up to that person. The reason we made this agreement is because Thomas feels more strongly about stoves than I do, and I feel strongly about certain fridges.
Unfortunately, I now feel pretty darn strongly about ranges! So we're going over the pros and cons of certain types and trying to make an educated decision. Granted, we won't get one for several months, but it's good to be prepared and be able to keep an eye out for sales on appliances you eventually want to buy.
We are still weighing the pros and cons and I thought it might be sort of fun to open the floor for discussion with others. Let me share with you what we have and please share your two-cents as well in the comments.
Gas
CONS
- Entire cooktop gets hot
- Open flame is dangerous (towels, children's fingers, reaching for cabinets above)
- Middle space too hot to use for drippy spoons/utensils
- Difficult to clean
- Takes forever to boil
- Cannot get to food if dropped under flame
- Cannot whisk for long periods without burning hand/utensil handle
- Can heat room temperature
- Oven takes longer to heat
PROS
- Cheaper
- Temperature control
- Can still use in power outage
Electric (Glass Cooktop)
CONS
- Lack of temperature control
- Hot burner
- Uneven cooking
- Takes a while to boil
- Can't use in a power outage
- Glass could crack/break
PROS
- Cheaper
- Easy clean-up
- No flame
- Only single burner gets hot, not entire surface
- Safer for fabric and children
- Attractive look
- Can use as extra counter space when not in use
Induction
CONS
- Expensive
- Needs special pans (though, we do own them)
- Unknown: neither of us have used it before
- Can't use in a power outage
- Unsure of technical issues
- Lack of product choices or variety
PROS
- Temperature control
- Fast boil time
- Easy cleanup
- Safe, cool surface
- No flame
- Attractive look
- Can use as extra counter space when not in use
This is a really difficult decision! What are your opinions? We don't know a ton about induction, but we're very curious.
I mean, when shopping for these things, even the location of the knobs becomes a factor! We're not sure if we trust a completely "touch-screen" based range - what if something in the software busts? What about ovens that have a small upper level and a larger bottom level? Don't you save some energy and time if you can heat up only the smaller oven for baking cookies or cooking a casserole? Can basic be better in saving yourself from tech errors down the road? What's the deal with slide-in ranges - are they worth the extra cost?
We would LOVE to hear your thoughts!
Holding Your Spouse To A Higher Standard
Some of you may have opened this post assuming it would be about why we shouldn't create unrealistic expectations for our spouses. Why it's unfair to hold your spouse to "standards."
Sorry, this is not what you assumed.
First off, as sinners, we will never meet the standards God sets before us in the Ten Commandments. Are we tasked as Christians to try as we might? Of course. We fail miserably every day, but it's still part of our calling to follow God's commands and live according to His word. It's difficult and frustrating and downright disappointing - but nevertheless, they are standards we are called to follow. Thank goodness there is forgiveness, am I right?
When Tom and I got married, we found ourselves creating our own expectations for what marriage should be. These expectations were outside of God's picture of marriage, so of course we failed and let each other down. They were human expectations with nothing more than selfishness to justify their necessity. They were standards we thought would create a stronger marriage, but instead they created disappointment and hurt.
Where did these ideas come from? Well, sometimes they were silly ideas we concocted on our own, but other times they came from these so-called Christian marriage books we started to read. I really do hate to admit it, but sometimes those books can make you believe your marriage has issues in places it actually doesn't. It tells you that if you aren't doing x, y, and z, in ten years you'll be in a miserable, failing marriage. For those who are struggling I'm sure these books are helpful, but remember to take them with a grain of salt, keeping in mind that every marriage has shortcomings.
From that realization, we revisited our expectations and standards for one another, and for our marriage using the one thing that is far more dependable:
God's word.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV)
As Christians, we realized our marriage should look and act different than others. The standards that we are called to hold to are not our own standards, but God's.
We've realized that some couples behave entirely different when their spouse is around, and when they aren't. And that is just not okay. Many times it's disrespectful and walks a fine line on what's moral and what isn't.
Therefore, I hold my husband to higher standards and he does the same of me.
Looking back, I saw a great example of when he should have expected more of me. It was when I worked for a corporate, but "hip" company. It was a company very well known for its holiday parties, and I happily drank the "kool-aid" (quite literally). At one of these famed parties, Tom had texted me to let me know he was waiting in the lobby to pick me up. Like everyone else, I had had too much to drink and was having entirely too much fun... so I responded that I'd be down in a couple minutes.
But I forgot.
I literally forgot my husband was there.
I was too busy having slurred, idiotic conversations with co-workers who were too drunk to stand on their own two feet.
The conversations and behavior over the course of the entire night were nothing short of embarrassing and inappropriate.
Over a half hour later, I happened upon the lobby, saw my husband, and THEN remembered he was there.
I hate sharing this story.
But I think it's important to admit mistakes. What did that verse say? "...it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." Even the hard truths, my friends.
I'm humiliated that there was ever a time this happened, but it did. Tom should have held me to a higher standard. Instead, he was patient and kind - which are also wonderful traits - but he should have corrected my moral behavior. He absolutely had the right.
Sadly, we have both been on the receiving end of such an evening and neither of us are proud of it. They were nights we certainly could have done without. In fact, it was after such a night that we had a long talk about the moral standards God calls us to hold to.
Respecting your spouse, doesn't mean just in the times when they're around.
- It means that when one of them is gone on business, you can be sure they'll be going to bed at a decent hour and calling to say goodnight... instead of drinking in a faraway city with coworkers until wee hours of the morning.
- It means that when they're around friends or couples who speak poorly of marriage or spouses, that your spouse will speak admirably about it and stand up for it instead of joining in.
- It means you never do something questionable just because everyone else is. Whether at work, socially, or even with your best friends.
- It means creating boundaries to protect your marriage. These 5 boundaries would have some people rolling their eyes, but as Christians, these ideas should be applauded for their moral basis. When it comes to entertainment, for example, the words, "It's just a movie" is a very poor excuse. Would it be "just a movie" if Jesus was sitting right next to you? Many find that thinking to be "lame"... sorry, I'd rather be lame. I don't need to see every trashy thing Hollywood pours out. I love what Kelsie says at the end of her post:
"Shouldn’t we say yes to our marriage and no to anything that isn’t best for it? Isn’t your spouse worth it? Marriage is a place that requires honesty, faithfulness, grace, forgiveness, and communication. Let’s be intentional about taking care of this relationship by setting godly boundaries. It’s a relationship worth fighting for."
Will we continue to let one another down and fail at some of these expectations? You bet.
It will be times like those that the power of forgiveness shows its true colors. We are not perfect. Our marriage is flawed, because we are flawed people.
But is it worth it to hold yourself to standards that show respect to your spouse? Is it worth it to expect the same from your spouse? Absolutely. Yes, sometimes it's easy to go into marriage with unrealistic, unhealthy expectations. But when you trust God's word and commands and make those the sole moral basis for your life and marriage, having high standards doesn't seem like work or a tight leash so much as it feels like a privilege.
Because after all, marriage is a gift as much as it's a privilege... and it's a gift that is worth protecting.
Gifts For A New Mom
Yep, you read that right.
For the mom.
Sorry baby, there were probably a bunch of showers for your sake. This post is for the mamas!
Well, more specifically, for the mama's friends, sisters, husband... or whoever else might have a close enough relationship with her to know her taste and estimate her needs.
Recently, my best friend from college gave birth to their first child. I felt such an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement for my friend, that during the time she was in labor and for days afterward, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. This girl who I lived with, talked with late at night, went on countless dinner dates with, worked with, talked about relationships with, spent nights on the town with, and stood up in each other's weddings, was suddenly a mom. When I see the photos of her beautiful baby, I can't help but tear up and beam with joy. This little baby made my best friend a mom. And then my next thoughts went like this...
Whoa. She's a mom! She's never been a mom before! Wait a minute... what do you need when you're a mom? Do you have time to shower? Or eat? Or feel pretty? Do you need cute but comfy clothes and big underwear? I have no idea. But she better be taken care of.
*Immediately went shopping*
While I was shopping, I had no idea what I was looking for (because.. you know... I'm not a mom) so I legitimately asked moms who were in the store what my friend would like. It was the cutest thing - they had so much to say! One of them even shopped along side me and pointed out items.
As soon as I left the store with my loot, I shipped it off at the nearest post office.
I'm so glad that she loved my care package and that she felt cared for and not forgotten. That was my biggest concern: that mama wasn't forgotten.
Now that I've done this once, I want to do it again. I want to make sure my mama friends are loved, cared for, and remembered. I'm just gonna guess that becoming a mom is a pretty big transition, so what better way to help them transition than give them some items for them. Remind them that even though they have this little person that's changed their world for the better, that they shouldn't cross the road into motherhood and forget about their own, individual needs. Besides, how can they care for their sweet babe when they're a mess?
After reaching out to some other moms in my blogging network, here are some ideas of how to care for the new mamas in your life. Pass it on if you think it will help others! :)
Comfortable nightgown:
One that is easy to wear while breastfeeding, too. My own mom recommended this because she was given one of these and it made her feel prettier and slightly less frumpy.
Candle:
With the smell of poop, diaper cream, and spit-up lingering around, it's nice to have a candle going to bring a clean/nice smell to your home. A little luxury!
Luxury shampoo and conditioner:
If mama can even squeeze a shower into her day, having something extra special to use will feel pampering.
Big water bottle with a straw:
Many times they'll only have one hand to eat or drink, so a water bottle that holds a lot (so they don't have to refill all the time) with a straw will be extra helpful. From what I understand, breastfeeding makes women super thirsty and hungry! Heck, even if she's not breastfeeding, this will make life so much easier.
High waisted yoga pants:
A mom in the store recommended this one. That high band just holds things in and offers more comfort. She also said it became her uniform and she totally embraced it!
Loose, comfy sweatshirt:
More-so if baby was born in the winter. One that is easy to breastfeed with or throw on with their new yoga pants and take a trip to the store.
One-handed snacks:
Going along with the water bottle, those mamas get the munchies and having healthy, fast, one-handed snacks is a life-saver. Maybe something they can pour into a bowl and leave next to their feeding chair all day would be nice. Do you live nearby? Bring her some cleaned fruit, shelled nuts, granola, chopped veggies, cheese sticks/cubes, etc...
Slippers:
Most people probably already own slippers, but if you're like me, you keep the same raggedy ones for years. Get them some new ones! Also nice if they have a rubber bottom and can run outside to check the mail in.
Not pictured
- Favorite candy
- Gifts cards to movie streaming services or Redbox (for long feedings!)
- Amazon gift card. Because they have everything.
- Maid service gift certificate. Let them schedule it themselves so it's convenient for them. Merry Maids is nationwide, I believe. I worked as a Merry Maid for half a summer, and though it was seriously the worst job of my life, they're incredibly thorough. Like, they clean your floors by hand - no joke.
- Coffee for that sleepy mama! Bring her some for her coffee maker... and maybe a fresh cup straight from Starbucks.
- Spa day
- Postpartum belly band
- Homemade freezer meals
- Disposable plates and cutlery
- Cute granny-panties!
- Nice hand lotion
- Facial cleansing cloths
- Dry shampoo
- Body lotion with collagen and vitamin E
- Mini toothbrushes to keep in their purse (ones with toothpaste built-in)
- Bottled water (keep a few bottles in every room and in a purse)
- A baby sling
- Devotional book
- Set up a mealtrain
- If you're local, offer to pop over and do chores or take care of baby while she sleeps
- Take her out for coffee or lunch and let her talk about anything she wants - whether it's baby related or not.
- Coupons for free babysitting!
- Possibly: thick underwear pads and cooling packs for 'down there' - give her a variety of pads/liners. Tuck pads.
- Essential oils (if she's into them)
- Books by a good author
If she's breastfeeding
Are you positive she's breastfeeding? Is she able to breastfeed? Make sure you know the answer to that question before you buy her a ton of things geared towards that. If you don't know the answer and would rather not ask, try the suggestions above!
- Stool softener, prunes, lube, and good lip balm. Your body liquids can dry up, so these things help supplement that loss.
- Nursing tank tops
- Nursing pads (gel ones too)
- Coconut oil for sore/cracked nipples
- Nursing bras - also ones for sleeping
- Cooling pads
Check out this site for some nice breastfeeding products.
For the dads
Don't forget this sweet guy! If you think moms are forgotten, these guys are invisible! Yes, yes, it is mostly about mom and baby, but this is a major life adjustment for him too. He could use some love.
- Gift cards for food
- Beer (if he's into that)
- His own copy of an informational baby book
- Funny baby books about poop, toots, burps for him to read to the baby soon ;) (I loved this idea - so funny!)
Special thanks to the super awesome, sweet ladies from The Peony Project who offered their knowledgable advice on this list - you mamas are wonderful!
What else would you add? I loved this conversation in The Peony Project group and I thought it was so helpful for people like myself who has no idea what it's like to have a baby. Even some soon-to-be moms were following the conversation and getting awesome ideas! Yay for community! Let me know what else :)
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